Tag Archives: funny

Little Josiah Cowles

Posted on November 20, 2012 by funnygurl2

I am going to tell you a story.  Don’t judge me too harshly.  My husband does.  He doesn’t see why this is funny at all.  My mother and I find it hilarious, all these years later.

My mom and I have gone to Mackinac Island, Michigan several times in our lives.  One year we went, and it rained the whole time we were on the island.  Because we were tourists and so that we may seek shelter from the elements, we bought tickets and went to tour Fort Mackinac.

I am not big on history, unless it is lighthouse or family tree-related, but Fort Mackinac was interesting.  Their displays showed many aspects of life at the Fort.  As you may imagine, there were weapons, the mess hall, the jail, the store.  But you also got to see where the officers and their families lived.

And we learned about little Josiah Cowles.

This historical sign is displayed at Fort Mackinac, Michigan.


Here is the sign (or a more modern replica) that my mom and I saw that rainy, gloomy day.  Maybe we were low on sugar and caffeine.  No matter the circumstances, my mom read that sign, and translated it as such:

Little Josiah Cowles

Had trouble with his bowels.

AND WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED until we cried and then we laughed some more.

Maybe you had to be there.  But it is one of the purely happy memories I have with my mom.  I felt obliged to share it with all of you:)

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What I Learned This Week – 11/4/2012

Posted on November 4, 2012 by funnygurl2

This week I learned that while wearing a wig for Halloween can pretty significantly change your appearance, it is not a pleasant experience. I wore a long blonde wig. My wig would block my vision when I bent down or if the wind blew. The hair was so long, that I had trouble putting my jacket on and sitting against the back of the car seat, because it would get caught.

Wearing that long hair for 5 hours made me realize why chicks like Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus cut all their long hair off and go a little crazy. They get drunk from the freedom! And all that weight not pulling down on their brain!

Crunchtables Pretzel Coated Dill Pickle Crisps


I discovered this a few weeks ago, but still a worthy side note. You no longer have to go to a restaurant to enjoy the taste sensation that is fried pickles! I found Crunchtables Pretzel Coated Dill Pickle Crisps in the frozen vegetable section at Walmart. I make them in the oven, so they are actually more like “baked pickles”, but they are ready in 11 minutes and oh so good!

After my family consumed our third box of them in two weeks time, my husband asked me how much they cost. I told him I had never looked. We agreed that it didn’t matter, they are worth it!

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StalkingWear

Posted on October 25, 2012 by funnygurl2

Official/original/one & only “I’m not stalking you.” messenger bag.


I found this messenger bag in my dresser drawer the other day. I made it before I had a website. Back when I thought that “I’m not stalking you.” was just a great catch phrase. Or would be a potentially awesome way to brand a clothing line.

The messenger bag in action.


To refresh your memory, here are some other hip looks.

The “I’m not stalking you.” hoodie.

The “I’m not stalking you.” hoodie.

The “I’m not stalking you.” T-shirt.

The “I’m not stalking you.” T-shirt.

The toddler “I’m not stalking you.” T-shirt.

The toddler “I’m not stalking you.” T-shirt.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

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Issues with Tissues

Posted on October 23, 2012 by funnygurl2

In another one of my more confessional blogs, I have to admit something that my closest friends and family already know.

I have issues with tissues.

STOP LAUGHING!!! I know that it sounds cute and rhymey, but it is a serious issue. It causes awkward social situations. More so than I would normally encounter with having anxiety and being a picky eater.

I think my issue comes from when I was a small child. My mother LOVES tissues. (Facial tissue, such as Puffs or Kleenex.) She would have a box or two in every room of the house. She used to sit on the end of the couch and use like ten tissues in one sitting. She would ball up each one and lob it toward the wastebasket. Now, you need to realize that the wastebasket was at the OTHER end of the couch. All the tissues made a pink ring on the floor around the wastebasket. So, like, the next time she got up (possibly the next morning), she would pick them up and take care of them.

This thoroughly repulsed me!

So, from a young age, I refused to use tissues.

    Reason #1: Because my mom LOVES them.

    Reason #2: Because the texture is awful! Too soft!

    Reason #3: Because they can’t capture my snot.

When I blow my nose, I make a big blow. It cannot be contained by a tissue.

How does this lead to awkward social situations, you ask?

Think about when you are the most upset. When you are crying (for any reason: death, injury, etc.). What do people hand you?

A FRICKIN’ TISSUE!

I am perfectly happy using paper towels for any purpose someone might use tissues for.

So, if you see me in distress, NEVER, EVER hand me a tissue.

Thank you in advance.

* My green-haired friend coined the actual term “Issues with Tissues”.

** I don’t have a fear or phobia of tissues. I just find the texture highly displeasing. I do not have an issue with toilet paper for toilet needs. Unless the toilet paper gets water dripped on it from the sink and becomes damp. That totally grosses me out. That makes it seem like it has already been used or something. And, oh yeah, it is still too soft to blow my nose with.

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The Bounty of My Garden

Posted on October 11, 2012 by funnygurl2

Most people garden and grow a plentiful bounty of vegetables that make their way onto their dinner tables and into their stomachs.

Our garden? Eh, not so much.

Gourd collection on the front steps


We got gourds. Lots of ’em. And they are large too. I, personally, don’t know anyone who eats a gourd. But they are pretty. And it saves us money on Halloween decorations. Did I mention we have a few small white pumpkins as well?

This started last fall. After Halloween last year, when the decorative fruit started to get squishy, my husband threw our white pumpkins and gourds into the corner of the backyard we call our garden.

We call it the garden, but no matter how many times he rototills the ground, grass insists on growing there. Which is super humorous, because we can’t get grass to grow in the rest of our yard at all!

This spring my husband planted sweet corn. But, surprisingly, the gourds came up as well. My husband almost mowed off the vines, but I knew what they were from having unsuccessfully tried to grow pumpkins year after year growing up.

Our Garden


So, the corn grew and the gourds grew. We called it my husband’s garden and I left it up to him to care for it. But as it became clear that we are in a drought, I took pity and watered it when I remembered to. He forgot to thin out the corn. And he forgot to harvest it, or rather, kept waiting for the ears to get bigger. (They never did.)

Meanwhile the vines for the gourds and the white pumpkins crept through the chain link fence and tried to climb the neighbors’ tree–multiple times. It grew out through the chain link fence toward the street. It grew every which way in our backyard, increasing the size of our garden by three-fold. It was like something out of The Great Green Turkey Creek Monster.

We started harvesting the fruits of our labor last month. We got most of them to shelter before a freak hailstorm hit. Only a few were damaged. What do you do with a butt-ton of gourds? A few years ago when we grew them (similar seeding process), we tried to sell them. (I think my mother-in-law may have been the only customer, bless her heart.) This year I gave a couple to my mom. The rest, well, we will use them to decorate.

More gourds


And re-seed for next year.

Now, to get rid of those corn stalks. Ooo! Maybe I could get my husband to bundle them up for decoration as well!

Yes, we have a very bountiful garden. What do we grow? Oh, exterior harvest decorations, of course!

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

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