My asbestos friend, Lazy Hippie Mama, recently ordered blogger cards. She is thinking of her blog more as a business.
I am not.
But I still wanted to order really cute cards, although I have absolutely no reason to ever hand them out to anyone. This got me wondering what to put on them as my title. Currently they say: Blogger. Writer. Untapped Creative Mind. I went back to one of my first posts I did for more ideas. It did not help.
But the old post is still funny, so here it is again for your reading enjoyment…
Can I use this as letterhead on my cover letter?
Original link: https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2011/05/23/my-real-resume/
ROLES & RESPONSIBILITIES
Wife
-Population Control
-Domestic Administrator
-Chef
-Personal Shopper
-Budget Overlord
-Time Management
-Scheduler
-Zookeeper
-Records Archive Director
-Historian
-Psychic
-Hair Stylist
-Concubine
-Closet Organizer
Mom
-Part-time Nanny
-Teacher
-Nurturer
-Photographer
-Diaper Quality Inspector
Daughter
-Chauffeur
-Technology Expert
-Furniture Mover
-Entertainment Committee
-Slave
Homeowner
-Wildlife Relocation Specialist
Asbestos Friend
-Thrower of Baby BBQs
-Accomplished email time suck
SPECIALTIES
Specializing in entertainment trivia, offbeat humor, & good hygiene.
Skills
-10 key calculator
-Disaster preparedness
-First Aid administrator
-Amateur weather prediction
-American Red Cross Dog First Aid certified
-Blogger Extraordinaire
Education
-Was on high school honor roll 22 of 24 marking periods.
-Accomplished this while watching 58 hrs of television a week.
-Graduated .03 GPA from a summa cum laude in college.
-Learned not to be different in any way thanks to Middle School.
-Only missed one word all year in 4th grade spelling (stupid “Caynon”. I MEAN CANYON!!!).
-Co-Editor of high school newspaper.
Desired Salary
$2,000,000 the first year, and $1,000,000 each year thereafter, plus a $1,000,000 signing bonus.
Fame to go with my fortune would be considered a bonus.
I'm not stalking you. 