RSS Feed

Issues with Tissues

In another one of my more confessional blogs, I have to admit something that my closest friends and family already know.

I have issues with tissues.

STOP LAUGHING!!! I know that it sounds cute and rhymey, but it is a serious issue. It causes awkward social situations. More so than I would normally encounter with having anxiety and being a picky eater.

I think my issue comes from when I was a small child. My mother LOVES tissues. (Facial tissue, such as Puffs or Kleenex.) She would have a box or two in every room of the house. She used to sit on the end of the couch and use like ten tissues in one sitting. She would ball up each one and lob it toward the wastebasket. Now, you need to realize that the wastebasket was at the OTHER end of the couch. All the tissues made a pink ring on the floor around the wastebasket. So, like, the next time she got up (possibly the next morning), she would pick them up and take care of them.

This thoroughly repulsed me!

So, from a young age, I refused to use tissues.

    Reason #1: Because my mom LOVES them.

    Reason #2: Because the texture is awful! Too soft!

    Reason #3: Because they can’t capture my snot.

When I blow my nose, I make a big blow. It cannot be contained by a tissue.

How does this lead to awkward social situations, you ask?

Think about when you are the most upset. When you are crying (for any reason: death, injury, etc.). What do people hand you?

A FRICKIN’ TISSUE!

I am perfectly happy using paper towels for any purpose someone might use tissues for.

So, if you see me in distress, NEVER, EVER hand me a tissue.

Thank you in advance.

* My green-haired friend coined the actual term “Issues with Tissues”.

** I don’t have a fear or phobia of tissues. I just find the texture highly displeasing. I do not have an issue with toilet paper for toilet needs. Unless the toilet paper gets water dripped on it from the sink and becomes damp. That totally grosses me out. That makes it seem like it has already been used or something. And, oh yeah, it is still too soft to blow my nose with.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

Advertisements

4 responses »

  1. I do not have issues with tissues. However, I agree with you that when I am having serious drainage they are not up to the job. Viva paper towels are awesome at that point. Soft enough and much stronger. FYI they also make great cloth diaper liners

    Reply
  2. As a chronic allergy suffer, I am like your mother – at least two boxes of tissues in each room. Never knowing when a sneeze will strike, I need tissue arms reach at all times.

    However, i do not throw them on the ground. In my world soiled tissues are a biohazard that must be contained in a haz-mat container (aka the garbage can). While I will use any brand of paper towel as a replacement, I need tissue at arm’s reach24/7. I’m looking for my box now…. Achooo !!!

    Reply
  3. Pingback: The Rudest Thing Anyone Can Say | I'm not stalking you.

  4. Pingback: Repost: The Rudest Thing Anyone Can Say | I'm not stalking you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: