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I’m Not Stalking You’s 5th Anniversary!

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When I started writing on this blog, I barely knew what a blog was. I had been working for 12 years for the same company that was about to go out of business, leaving me jobless, and an infant that needed major surgery. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, although I was already well into my 30s.

Happy Birthday to INSY, Happy Birthday to INSY...

Happy Birthday to INSY, Happy Birthday to INSY…

In the intervening five years, I had a job for 21 months that I liked that progressed into one that I couldn’t stand to stay with. Now I have finally settled somewhere closer to home that I hope to stay at for a very long time. My young son actually had to have two surgeries to accomplish what one should have done, but today he is happy and healthy and annoying me on a consistent basis, as any growing child testing his boundaries should be. (Doesn’t make it any easier though.) My family lost a dog. We have struggled, but I think that glow up there might be the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, and I wrote three books. And as I have said before, I don’t think I would have accomplished that if I hadn’t started emptying my chaotic brain out into this little blog first.

I welcome you to click on my comical categories or explore with the search bar my amassed collection of 520 posts. Don’t know where to start? Below are links to my most popular posts and some of my favorites.

And here is to the next five years. Make a five year plan, you say? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Most Popular Posts

Boxelder Bugs Must Die

Homefront

MicroMagic [Fine] Frozen Foods

Kiddie City

The O.C.

__________

My Favorite Posts

Dead Dad Movies, Part 1

Dead Dad Movies, Part 2

My Favorite TV Shows

Punky Brewster

Matthew Perry

And, well, since I’m feeling like anyone who is reading this post deserves a little gift, here it is. I have talked about it for a while. This is as close as you are probably ever going to get to seeing me karaoke Vanilla Ice’s “Ice, Ice Baby.” Don’t ask me why I feel more comfortable releasing this on the Internet to a bunch of ruthless strangers than I do a roomful of drunks who would forget me tomorrow, but I do. It is a public speaking anxiety thing, which is rendered temporarily ineffective when confronted with audio or visual equipment, rather than a physical crowd being present. Hence, the Communications degree in Radio and Television Broadcasting. Oh, and remind me to disable comments on this video.

This is a long time coming. Years ago, I bought the karaoke track of “Ice Ice Baby” off of iTunes to practice with. But I still had no words, and that version cut off the third verse, which is my favorite and the one I am best at. At some point in the intervening years I Googled the lyrics and saved them on my flash drive, where they have traveled around aimlessly since. I found a karaoke track with lyrics on YouTube and made a practice video one day. That seemed like only a few months ago, Christmas maybe? Nope. That was last APRIL! I had the idea that this may be a great stunt for INSY’s anniversary…then my mom brain took over and I forgot until like Monday.

So, I had to cram. I have been rapping the words to this song for 26 years—some of them being the WRONG words. Oy. It is hard to untrain myself. I will always say: “Falling on the concrete real fast” as “Fallin’ on the concrete grill fat.” Mmm…grill fat. Anyone hungry for McDonald’s?

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish ForAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It THE CONTINUING ROMANCE!
The Wind Could Blow a BugWHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

Thank You L.A. Remenicky

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LA Remenicky

Thank you so much to L.A. Remenicky for devoting her blog to little old me today. Please stop over and show her some love.

http://www.laremenicky.com/blog/glbb-tuesday-jennifer-friess

Thank you to everyone who puts up with me bumbling my way through being an author. Each new connection I make helps me to develop and improve.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books When You Least Expect It & The Wind Could Blow a Bug AVAILABLE NOW! (The Wind Could Blow a Bug is ON SALE for only $.99 for a limited time.)

PURCHASE as a Paperback or eBook on Amazon.com TODAY.

What I Learned This Week – 11/23/14

I know this is terribly late, but real life got in the way, which is always a bummer.

But I didn’t want an important milestone to go buy without at least a little bit of fanfare.

My little tiny goofy blog reached 50,000 all-time views this week!

I started this blog because I felt I had things to say. The same type of things I used to email to my coworkers all day at work, such as mix tape reviews, pet obituaries, poems, goofy pictures, and favorite songs, I now share with the world.

He looks like he is on the toilet

He looks like he is on the toilet

Sometimes I feel that technology complicates the world more than it helps. (And Facebook is definitely a time suck.) But I am never sad about the time I spend on my blog, and usually wish I had more time to spend here.

Stay tuned for my next few milestones: my 400th post, and publication of my first novel(la).

I was also going to write about what a great product Pedia-Lax glycerine suppositories are, as it got my almost 4 year old son pooping again. But then the next time we used it, it wasn’t effective for him. But, prune juice might be the new pooping miracle.

Stay tuned.

Crap, I already said that.

(Ha, ha.  I said, “Crap…”)

What I Learned This Week – 10/6/13

What I learned this week is that my little blog that I started on a whim has reached something I imagined, but was not sure would ever happen.  My little blog of randomness that spills forth from my brain that has reignited my love of writing has hit,

wait-for-it…

25,000 VIEWS!

Actually, as of me writing this, it has reached 25,097 all-time views!

Now, I realize that this is peanuts compared to some other blogs.   But considering I have not done anything big to specifically increase my followers up to this point (My blog does have Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Twubs pages, but I have never blog-hopped…yet) except for trying to post regularly, I am pretty happy about that number.

Thank you everyone who reads every new post I write, and also all the people who just happen to Google “Homefront”, “Barret Oliver”, or “boxelder bugs” and end up here.

YOU ALL ROCK!

Here is to 25,000 more!

I Will Never Be Freshly Pressed

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My asbestos friend will be very angry at me when she sees the title of this post. She is a deep believer in manifestation and the law of attraction. She believes that putting this statement out into the universe will make it a reality.

And I believe that too. Somedays. Other times I believe you have to worry about something to prevent it from happening. But usually that only gives me a stomach ache. And something completely different that I never thought to worry about can go wrong in its place.

Today, well, I am trying to make myself stop hoping for something that will never happen. To become Freshly Pressed on WordPress. (Their list of the best of recent blogs, updated daily–or so they claim.)

It would, indeed, be a great honor.

But, occasionally, I write a deeply personal post that, while my blog is pretty anonymous, I would feel weird if the masses read it. Those posts I am glad that they are not picked to be Freshly Pressed.

To anyone else, I am sure my blog looks like a disorganized jumble of craziness. When I look at my blog and what I have created, it makes me happy beyond words. Sometimes, I just visit it to gaze with wonder and amazement that I have my own website, my own URL, and I get to chose what is on it.

To a thirteen year old today who grew up amidst such technology, it would not seem impressive at all. But when I was in high school, the Internet wasn’t something everyone had in their house. Not every product had a website. It was common to not even know the terms Internet or website. I did my big final paper for my Bachelor’s degree in college on comparing the websites of radio stations. That was a big deal then.

While I crave praise in my life (I chalk that up as being my mother’s fault), I am going to have to settle for my blog to just make me happy for sake of being there. I fear my genius (yes, that’s a joke) will never be featured on Freshly Pressed.

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards...for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards…for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

But I probably won’t give up hope that Ellen might mention my blog some day on her show. Seems like a good fit, I think;)

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