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I’m Not Stalking You’s 5th Anniversary!

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When I started writing on this blog, I barely knew what a blog was. I had been working for 12 years for the same company that was about to go out of business, leaving me jobless, and an infant that needed major surgery. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, although I was already well into my 30s.

Happy Birthday to INSY, Happy Birthday to INSY...

Happy Birthday to INSY, Happy Birthday to INSY…

In the intervening five years, I had a job for 21 months that I liked that progressed into one that I couldn’t stand to stay with. Now I have finally settled somewhere closer to home that I hope to stay at for a very long time. My young son actually had to have two surgeries to accomplish what one should have done, but today he is happy and healthy and annoying me on a consistent basis, as any growing child testing his boundaries should be. (Doesn’t make it any easier though.) My family lost a dog. We have struggled, but I think that glow up there might be the light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh, and I wrote three books. And as I have said before, I don’t think I would have accomplished that if I hadn’t started emptying my chaotic brain out into this little blog first.

I welcome you to click on my comical categories or explore with the search bar my amassed collection of 520 posts. Don’t know where to start? Below are links to my most popular posts and some of my favorites.

And here is to the next five years. Make a five year plan, you say? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Most Popular Posts

Boxelder Bugs Must Die

Homefront

MicroMagic [Fine] Frozen Foods

Kiddie City

The O.C.

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My Favorite Posts

Dead Dad Movies, Part 1

Dead Dad Movies, Part 2

My Favorite TV Shows

Punky Brewster

Matthew Perry

And, well, since I’m feeling like anyone who is reading this post deserves a little gift, here it is. I have talked about it for a while. This is as close as you are probably ever going to get to seeing me karaoke Vanilla Ice’s “Ice, Ice Baby.” Don’t ask me why I feel more comfortable releasing this on the Internet to a bunch of ruthless strangers than I do a roomful of drunks who would forget me tomorrow, but I do. It is a public speaking anxiety thing, which is rendered temporarily ineffective when confronted with audio or visual equipment, rather than a physical crowd being present. Hence, the Communications degree in Radio and Television Broadcasting. Oh, and remind me to disable comments on this video.

This is a long time coming. Years ago, I bought the karaoke track of “Ice Ice Baby” off of iTunes to practice with. But I still had no words, and that version cut off the third verse, which is my favorite and the one I am best at. At some point in the intervening years I Googled the lyrics and saved them on my flash drive, where they have traveled around aimlessly since. I found a karaoke track with lyrics on YouTube and made a practice video one day. That seemed like only a few months ago, Christmas maybe? Nope. That was last APRIL! I had the idea that this may be a great stunt for INSY’s anniversary…then my mom brain took over and I forgot until like Monday.

So, I had to cram. I have been rapping the words to this song for 26 years—some of them being the WRONG words. Oy. It is hard to untrain myself. I will always say: “Falling on the concrete real fast” as “Fallin’ on the concrete grill fat.” Mmm…grill fat. Anyone hungry for McDonald’s?

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish ForAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It THE CONTINUING ROMANCE!
The Wind Could Blow a BugWHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

If I Had The Guts To Karaoke, I Would Sing. . .

Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

While to the world I just look like a little geeky white chick with glasses, I am secretly an awesome rapper. Well, for that one song anyway. And a song called the “Punky Power Rap” I invented in the 6th grade. But no one should ever really hear that song beyond my asbestos friend and my husband. And even they just smile and nod.

How did I get so good at singing “Ice, Ice Baby” around my house? Because I have been practicing for 20 years, that’s why. Several years ago I even bought the music-only karaoke track off iTunes so I could practice in my car. The problem with that is that I didn’t have a copy of the correct lyrics in front of me at all times. I am pretty sure that over 20 years I have mutated some of the lyrics from their original form.

The other night I dreamed that I was writing rap songs with Vanilla Ice. I woke up with “Ice, Ice Baby” stuck in my head. Now, I totally realize that Vanilla Ice is a kinda skeezy, dumb guy. But “Ice, Ice Baby” is still one of my favorite songs after all these years and I believe that it stands the test of time. Especially since it is sampled from another successful song.

If you want to see a funny take on a very Vanilla Ice-style character, head on over to CW.com to watch webisodes of Stupid Hype, starring Wilson Bethel from Hart of Dixie (he of shirtless Wade fame). I am Wilson’s friend on Facebook. His actual friend. Mostly because no one apparently told him to make a separate Fan Page for his fans.

Wilson Bethel as Wade on Hart of Dixie
Photo: The CW

For a short taste, check out the official music video here:

What would be my second song I would karaoke if I was brave enough? Why, “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Who would I duet with, you ask? Isn’t the answer obvious? Myself:)

Being a Kid Rock AND Sheryl Crow fan, I can easily mimic either while singing along to my car radio. (Note: I never said that I did it well!)

But, alas, my gifted performances will never touch the world, because I am not brave enough (and I generally don’t drink) to perform in front of other people.

If I had my own karaoke machine in the privacy of my own home? THAT might be fun!

Yup, yup.  Word to your mother!

[What does that even MEAN?!]

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