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If I Had The Guts To Karaoke, I Would Sing. . .

Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

While to the world I just look like a little geeky white chick with glasses, I am secretly an awesome rapper. Well, for that one song anyway. And a song called the “Punky Power Rap” I invented in the 6th grade. But no one should ever really hear that song beyond my asbestos friend and my husband. And even they just smile and nod.

How did I get so good at singing “Ice, Ice Baby” around my house? Because I have been practicing for 20 years, that’s why. Several years ago I even bought the music-only karaoke track off iTunes so I could practice in my car. The problem with that is that I didn’t have a copy of the correct lyrics in front of me at all times. I am pretty sure that over 20 years I have mutated some of the lyrics from their original form.

The other night I dreamed that I was writing rap songs with Vanilla Ice. I woke up with “Ice, Ice Baby” stuck in my head. Now, I totally realize that Vanilla Ice is a kinda skeezy, dumb guy. But “Ice, Ice Baby” is still one of my favorite songs after all these years and I believe that it stands the test of time. Especially since it is sampled from another successful song.

If you want to see a funny take on a very Vanilla Ice-style character, head on over to CW.com to watch webisodes of Stupid Hype, starring Wilson Bethel from Hart of Dixie (he of shirtless Wade fame). I am Wilson’s friend on Facebook. His actual friend. Mostly because no one apparently told him to make a separate Fan Page for his fans.

Wilson Bethel as Wade on Hart of Dixie
Photo: The CW

For a short taste, check out the official music video here:

What would be my second song I would karaoke if I was brave enough? Why, “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. Who would I duet with, you ask? Isn’t the answer obvious? Myself:)

Being a Kid Rock AND Sheryl Crow fan, I can easily mimic either while singing along to my car radio. (Note: I never said that I did it well!)

But, alas, my gifted performances will never touch the world, because I am not brave enough (and I generally don’t drink) to perform in front of other people.

If I had my own karaoke machine in the privacy of my own home? THAT might be fun!

Yup, yup.  Word to your mother!

[What does that even MEAN?!]

Meijer Moms Sing “Man In The Mirror”

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On Monday, I was at Meijer. I was shopping for a few staple items–lunchmeat, bread, milk, the book “The Age of Miracles” (which is really good by the way, you all should read it), diapers, etc.

It was just my 20 month-old and I. As we were walking through one of the frozen food aisles, I passed a woman with a small child riding in the cart (as mine was) and another child walking with her. The mother was singing along to the music that was playing in the store. It was Michael Jackson singing “Man in the Mirror”. I noticed because usually I am the only crazy person who sings in the store (although on this occasion, I was not).

I turned the corner and went into the next aisle of frozen food. And I once again passed a woman with a small child riding in the cart, singing along to “Man in the Mirror”. I did a double-take to see if it was the same woman. But it was a different one.

Since than, the news has been filled with stories about the Jackson family fighting over Michael’s three kids. I am sure Michael would have hated that his family is fighting over his precious kids and how public it all is. But, I bet if he saw the mothers singing his music as they grocery shopped, it would bring a smile to his face.

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