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Why Am I Saying “Thank You?”

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Let me explain my title.

I am totally cool with thanking people for gifts, for those who hold the door for me, for all sorts of situations.

I am not cool with thanking a store for MY purchase.

But I find it happening every day, several times a day. Because that is how I was trained.

See, my first real job was at a local convenience store gas station. And while that may sound pretty unimportant, back in 1997 they had a woman who spent three days giving me orientation, customer service training, and chain smoking. And I was taught to thank every customer as they left the store, whether they purchased something or just used the bathroom.

Use it properly & use it often. You could just make someone's day.

Use it properly & use it often. You could just make someone’s day.

I so wish more businesses trained their employees like that today.

Every time I am at a retail store and I complete my payment, the cashier just says nothing to me. There needs to be some closer to the transaction. Handing me my receipt and saying, “Here you go,” is not an appropriate send off.

This is where I usually reflexively say, “Thank you.” I actually had an employee respond with “you’re welcome.” While I give her props for manners, I am the one patronizing their establishment. That should be my line.

My name is actually in the credits of Clerks 2-true story. (Thanks MySpace!)

My name is actually in the credits of Clerks 2-true story. (Thanks MySpace!)

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I realize cashiers get paid peanuts, have to use broken-down equipment, and are asked to up-sell customers who couldn’t care less. They either are in the position of quantity with slow customers or quality with customers who are in a hurry. Trust me, I’ve been there. But as a customer, my first priority is an accurate transaction. And the second most important thing to me is that I am thanked for my patronage.

I wish businesses would realize that is more desirable and meaningful than another reward card clogging up my wallet. If the employees were trained to do that, I believe they would. When I sell a book, I might even thank someone twice. If they manage to thank me first, I will correct them and say, “No, thank you.” Sometimes it is even in my inscription.

People think if they say the words, it is the same as still having manners in this day and age.

No. The correct person needs to say “please” and then “thank you”. Don’t even get me started on “excuse me”. When you say it with an attitude and are already pushing past me, you have missed the whole point of the phrase. You might as well say “Move, bitch” because that is how you mean it and how I am going to take it. For more on this, click here.

Just me venting. But I feel like other people out there must feel the same way. Is it so bad that for my money I want my goods and a thank you? I don’t think so. I’m not asking for a free cheeseburger or something. Thank yous are free.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish ForAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It THE CONTINUING ROMANCE!
The Wind Could Blow a BugWHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

Repost: The Rudest Thing Anyone Can Say

This was originally posted on January 29, 2014, but seems more fitting at this pushy time of year…

Original Link here: https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2014/01/29/the-rudest-thing-anyone-can-say/

“Excuse me.”

According to dictionary.com, it is an idiom, “used as a polite expression, as when addressing a stranger, when interrupting or disagreeing with someone, or to request repetition of what has just been said.”

I do not see it as polite at all.

1. How can you say it is ever “polite” to interrupt or disagree with someone? That is always going to be seen as negative by the person you are disagreeing with, no matter how much sugar you put on it.

2. I do not ever hear excuse me used out of “politeness”.

Used out of anger and impatience, mostly.

A perfect meme to illustrate my exact point.

A perfect meme to illustrate my exact point!

The customers at the grocery store who want to get past you are not saying it to be polite. They are not bothering to waste their breath on a full statement, such as, “Excuse me, may I please get by?” They are just barking out “excuse me”, then trying to squeeze between the two carts that are still in front of them at full speed. “Excuse me” is not a magic phrase meaning “everyone get the hell out of my way!” If it is the day before Thanksgiving and you are in the baking aisle at Meijer, “excuse me” isn’t going to get you anywhere. If there are people with carts in front of the people with carts who are blocking you, THEY ARE BLOCKED! Incessantly repeating “excuse me” like a broken record is not going to make the rapture come and beam people out of your way. Trust me, if they could get out of your way and away from you snarling those two rudest of words, they would.

I try not to use “excuse me” ever. Sometimes I use it in a store just to get someone’s attention. But my voice is always too quiet, and then I just feel dumb that I talked and no one heard me. I feel like I suddenly became invisible.

And really, in that context, to be perfectly honest, I am using “excuse me” to tell a stranger “you are in my way.” And that is how we are all using that expression. Be honest here. Unless you are trying to give someone back the $100 bill they just dropped, you are not using it as a courtesy or out of kindness. You are being rude and pushy and have the same “get out of my way” attitude as everyone else.

Maybe it is just me, but I always think of “excuse me” as the rudest thing anyone could say to me. It makes me just want to stab them.

The second rudest?

Probably, “Here, have a tissue.” Ack!

What I Learned This Week – 10/26/14

Tonight I learned not to judge the middle-aged woman in her pajamas pumping gas at the gas station. She may have spent all morning trying to get the checkbook balanced, and after three hours had to settle for a 10 cent discrepancy.

One pair HAS actually been to yoga class...

One pair of mine HAS actually been to yoga class…

I learned not to judge the woman in yoga pants pushing the grocery cart around Meijer. It is quite possible she was wearing real clothes earlier in the day the first time she left the house. That would also be before she helped her husband pick up leaves, and got covered in dirt, rotting leaves, and dog poop.  Also, before the dog barfed up a combo of her own poo and grass in the laundry room.  Twice.

I learned not to judge the weary-looking mother staring blankly at the grocery store shelf. It is very likely that this is the only time she has been at the store without her preschooler in a very long time, and needs to take advantage of this by picking up gifts for him for his upcoming birthday and Christmas. She might just be racking her brain to remember what size Lightning McQueen he was most interested in three days ago when they were at this very same store together.

YEEESSSSS.....

YEEESSSSS…..

For all you know, that woman has worked for the last 6 days straight. She could have bitten off more than she can chew. She misses her family. She misses her dog.

I learned not to judge the woman with her hair quickly escaping her pony tail and no makeup out in public at 9:00PM. She knows damn well that she has no right to be out. But she also spent all of her day doing so many other chores, that she still needs to buy groceries, including supplies for her son’s lunch at daycare tomorrow. And when she arrives home, she still will need to put away the groceries, pack said lunch for the son, pack one for herself, and tuck the tiny night owl into bed.

Then eat some Halloween candy.

Then type up and publish a blog post.

Then start reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower as preparation to publish her own YA book, hopefully before midnight.

WEEK-candy

This week I learned that I am totally that woman. You can judge me all you want, but I am drained.  Stay-at-home moms always argue that the work they do is REAL work.  And I wouldn’t argue that point, having done it for almost 2 years myself.  But, it is DIFFERENT work.  For all the days when the house ends up more of a disaster at the end of the day than when you started, there are many more days than not where you feel a sense of accomplishment of actually finishing the dishes, making a semi-nutritional and/or delicious dinner, or spending an actual 10 minutes of quality time with your child.  Working full time makes those tiny accomplishments impossible.

The Rudest Thing Anyone Can Say

“Excuse me.”

According to dictionary.com, it is an idiom, “used as a polite expression, as when addressing a stranger, when interrupting or disagreeing with someone, or to request repetition of what has just been said.”

I do not see it as polite at all.

1. How can you say it is ever “polite” to interrupt or disagree with someone? That is always going to be seen as negative by the person you are disagreeing with, no matter how much sugar you put on it.

2. I do not ever hear excuse me used out of “politeness”.

Used out of anger and impatience, mostly.

A perfect meme to illustrate my exact point.

A perfect meme to illustrate my exact point!

The customers at the grocery store who want to get past you are not saying it to be polite. They are not bothering to waste their breath on a full statement, such as, “Excuse me, may I please get by?” They are just barking out “excuse me”, then trying to squeeze between the two carts that are still in front of them at full speed. “Excuse me” is not a magic phrase meaning “everyone get the hell out of my way!” If it is the day before Thanksgiving and you are in the baking aisle at Meijer, “excuse me” isn’t going to get you anywhere. If there are people with carts in front of the people with carts who are blocking you, THEY ARE BLOCKED! Incessantly repeating “excuse me” like a broken record is not going to make the rapture come and beam people out of your way. Trust me, if they could get out of your way and away from you snarling those two rudest of words, they would.

I try not to use “excuse me” ever. Sometimes I use it in a store just to get someone’s attention. But my voice is always too quiet, and then I just feel dumb that I talked and no one heard me. I feel like I suddenly became invisible.

And really, in that context, to be perfectly honest, I am using “excuse me” to tell a stranger “you are in my way.” And that is how we are all using that expression. Be honest here. Unless you are trying to give someone back the $100 bill they just dropped, you are not using it as a courtesy or out of kindness. You are being rude and pushy and have the same “get out of my way” attitude as everyone else.

Maybe it is just me, but I always think of “excuse me” as the rudest thing anyone could say to me. It makes me just want to stab them.

The second rudest?

Probably, “Here, have a tissue.” Ack!

Kiddie City: Did It Really Exist?

My husband does not believe me that there used to be a toy store called Kiddie City, very similar to Toys’R’Us. In fact, there was a Kiddie City right in nearby Sylvania, Ohio, which still has a Toys’R’Us. I had to prove it to him by Google-ing it the other day.

Kiddie City Coloring Book

Kiddie City Coloring Book

I was correct.

My recent and short-term memory might be junk, but I can remember some things from my childhood very clearly.

Plus, Kiddie City is one of those things I have clung to all these years, so I would not forget it. Like that Punky Brewster’s dog Brandon was named after head of NBC, Brandon Tartikoff.

Plus, I have kept this all these years to remind me:

Official Kiddie City semi truck, from my personal collection, circa around 1980.

Official Kiddie City semi truck, from my personal collection, circa 1980.

My mom and I always shopped at Kiddie City. I always thought of Toys’R’Us as inferior (I still do). Apparently my tiny pre-schooler brain was pretty on-track, because according to Wikipedia (where any info I site here on out in this post comes from), Kiddie City was the second-largest toy chain in the United States. They were owned by Lionel, of model railroad fame.

I asked my mom where it was located, and her memories do not seem to match mine. That doesn’t really mean anything. We could both be wrong. She thinks it was in the shopping plaza where Major Magic’s was for many years. The location would make sense. My mom never traveled very far into Sylvania/Toledo on her own. That would be an easy location for her to get to and regularly find.

I have memories of looking at toy robots in a toy store when I was a kid. I remember blue, metal shelves (kind of like Cosco). I have no idea if that would have been Toys’R’Us or Kiddie City or just my imagination. I like to think maybe that was Kiddie City.

When I got my swing set when I was a kid, I know we bought it from one of those two stores in Sylvania, but my mom doesn’t remember which one. But I think maybe that was Toys’R’Us.

Apparently Kiddie City declared Bankruptcy in 1982, reducing their store count from 150 down to 55 stores. This is most likely when the Sylvania store closed. They grew back to being the fourth-largest toy store in the country before the stores were all closed for good in 1993.

Gone, but clearly not forgotten.

I would so LOVE one of these shirts!

I would so LOVE one of these shirts!

Classic Kiddie City Commercial
(Ah, what it must have been like to be a mom in the 80’s. Awesome hair, awesome clothes…)

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