What I Learned This Week – 1/26/14

Posted on January 26, 2014 by funnygurl2

[Holy F*ckin’ Sh*t. This is my 300th post!]

This week I learned that JD Roth will be executive producing the Kitten Bowl on the Hallmark Channel, airing opposite both the Super Bowl and the infamous Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

Why is this important?

Let me refresh your memory on who JD Roth is.

He was the super-cute host of the popular after-school kid’s show Fun House! Fun House aired from 1988 until 1991. Those were prime puberty years for me. If I didn’t fall asleep during DuckTales, then I was totally watching him be cute and dorky on Fun House.

JD Roth Photo: Seventeen Magazine

JD Roth
Photo: Seventeen Magazine 1988

Fun House was similar to the show Double Dare. They both had teams of kids competing in ooey-gooey slimy challenges to win prizes. I was so into these shows at the time, I even designed my own icky obstacle course. And it was so fun to design, that I kept going. And going. And going. Here is a picture of the course by the time I was done drawing it. I estimated it would take about 5 minutes and 39 seconds to get through the whole thing. I am pretty sure the kids would be dead by then.

The plans of my Double Dare course. I had lots of spare time and creativity as a child. Teenager.

The plans of my Double Dare course. I had lots of spare time and creativity as a child. Teenager.

Kids nowadays have no idea how easy they have it. With a flick of my mouse I can find out all the information I desire on a celebrity.

JD Roth (circa 1990's) Photo: TV Guide

JD Roth (circa 1990’s)
Photo: TV Guide

For example, I can tell you that “JD” stands for James David, and he is 8 years older than me. Which would have made me total jailbait for him back then.

These are trivial facts I have been DYING to know for years. (Ya, not really…)

He has done oodles of stuff since Fun House. Most recently he has been behind the camera executive producing such shows as The Biggest Loser and Extreme Weight Loss.

This did not surprise me. Every now and then I will catch his name in the credits of some show and I squeal, “JD Roth! I love him!”

FYI–He has held up pretty good all these years. Maybe a little too much sun, maybe. But I still wouldn’t kick that out of bed.

JD Roth today

JD Roth today

Thank you for allowing me to be the pop culture memory jogger that you need in your life. I love the role and will cherish it always 😉

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Remember This?: Pre-Made S’mores

Posted on January 22, 2014 by funnygurl2

S’mores.

Good idea, bad execution.

Marshmallow – Good.

Chocolate – VERY Good.

Graham Cracker – Eh.

S'more

S’more

The traditional location to eat S’mores is camping.

Are you f’ing kidding me?

Why would you want to try to devour something ooey-gooey-chocolately delicious when you have a residue of dirt and mosquito repellent on your hands? And after you eat the S’more, you have a thick, sticky residue of marshmallow on your hands. Hand sanitizer or a cup of water isn’t going to rinse that sh*t off. I feel like camping foods should be easily clean-up-able. Hmmm. Maybe this is why my mother has never been a camper. (She likes things clean.  To the point of rubbing my son’s butt off after a poopy diaper change. OY.)

I don’t even think I had ever consumed a S’more until Nabisco came out with pre-made, microwavable S’mores in the 1990’s, called Suddenly S’mores. If you are trying to jog your memory, they came in a red package.

They were great!

No campfire required! (Just a microwave.)

No assembly required!

You can make them anytime!

They were the perfect proportion of chocolate to marshmallow to sweetened cookie graham cracker. Except for the occasional marshmallow burn on my finger, they were great! Except they came in inner packs of 2, and you had to make 4 at a time to really get all the yummy deliciousness that you craved.

A great after-school snack.

Bedtime snack.

Saturday morning breakfast.

Lunch.

Dessert.

Lunch Dessert.

If they still made them and stocked them in a store near me, I would still be buying them today.

But, alas, the closest thing I can find nowadays is the S’mores bar from Cabelas. It has a chocolate covered marshmallow sandwiched between the graham cracker. You have to be careful when you microwave it because if you leave it in too long the marshmallow will get huge and the top will slide off the bottom. They are kind of expensive. And have to be purchased at a Cabela’s store.

Another alternative, if you have a gas stove, is to toast the marshmallows that way.

But I still miss the microwave variety 😦

Does anyone else remember these?

Watch the commercial I found on YouTube.

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What I Learned This Week – 1/19/14

Posted on January 19, 2014 by funnygurl2

This week I learned that it is easy to become just a statistic.

My asbestos friend used to babysit a little girl after-school everyday.  She was particularly memorable, because she had the same first name as my asbestos friend.

One day she announced, as kids do, “Two people cannot have the same name.  I will call you Frank.”

And the name has stuck.  Many of my asbestos friend’s family members still call her Frank.  And I do too, on occasion.  That was probably another thing in high school that my classmates thought I was weird for, calling her “Frank.”  But it made perfect sense to us.

My mom also happened to work at the same factory where both the parents worked.

The family ended up having a little boy that my friend babysat for as well.

Years later, at my asbestos friend’s wedding, I sat at the same table with the family.  I didn’t know them well, but we all chatted.

So, I casually knew of them.  They were acquaintances.

But it was still very sad to hear that this week the father died at 57 years old from the H1N1 flu.

The little girl that my asbestos friend had babysat for?  According to pictures I see on Facebook, she is expecting her own baby soon.  So sad that her father won’t be around to meet his grandchild.

And now?  His whole life has been reduced to a statistic by the local news.  He lived in Lenawee County.

He is the statistic right at the beginning of the news report.  The rest of the report is about Lucas County, Ohio.

Photo: 13abc.com Click picture for story.

Photo: 13abc.com
Click picture for story.

Clickable link to the same news story: http://www.13abc.com/story/24462839/60-year-old-curtice-man-dies-from-flu

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Repost: My Real Resume

Posted on January 17, 2014 by funnygurl2

My asbestos friend, Lazy Hippie Mama, recently ordered blogger cards. She is thinking of her blog more as a business.

I am not.

But I still wanted to order really cute cards, although I have absolutely no reason to ever hand them out to anyone. This got me wondering what to put on them as my title. Currently they say: Blogger. Writer. Untapped Creative Mind. I went back to one of my first posts I did for more ideas. It did not help.

But the old post is still funny, so here it is again for your reading enjoyment…

Can I use this as letterhead on my cover letter?

Can I use this as letterhead on my cover letter?

Original link: https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2011/05/23/my-real-resume/
ROLES & RESPONSIBILITIES

Wife
-Population Control
-Domestic Administrator
-Chef
-Personal Shopper
-Budget Overlord
-Time Management
-Scheduler
-Zookeeper
-Records Archive Director
-Historian
-Psychic
-Hair Stylist
-Concubine
-Closet Organizer

Mom
-Part-time Nanny
-Teacher
-Nurturer
-Photographer
-Diaper Quality Inspector

Daughter
-Chauffeur
-Technology Expert
-Furniture Mover
-Entertainment Committee
-Slave

Homeowner
-Wildlife Relocation Specialist

Asbestos Friend
-Thrower of Baby BBQs
-Accomplished email time suck

SPECIALTIES

Specializing in entertainment trivia, offbeat humor, & good hygiene.

Skills
-10 key calculator
-Disaster preparedness
-First Aid administrator
-Amateur weather prediction
-American Red Cross Dog First Aid certified
-Blogger Extraordinaire

Education
-Was on high school honor roll 22 of 24 marking periods.
-Accomplished this while watching 58 hrs of television a week.
-Graduated .03 GPA from a summa cum laude in college.
-Learned not to be different in any way thanks to Middle School.
-Only missed one word all year in 4th grade spelling (stupid “Caynon”. I MEAN CANYON!!!).
-Co-Editor of high school newspaper.

Desired Salary
$2,000,000 the first year, and $1,000,000 each year thereafter, plus a $1,000,000 signing bonus.
Fame to go with my fortune would be considered a bonus.

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Friday Funny

Posted on January 17, 2014 by funnygurl2

Happy Friday Everyone!

Opti-Mist: Spray this on my glasses every mornin', my outlook still doesn't improve

Opti-Mist: Spray this on my glasses every mornin’, my outlook still doesn’t improve

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