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If First Impression Flaky, Look Deeper To Find The Gooey Sweet Center

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[If you clicked on this to post to find scrumptious pie recipes, you are out of luck. I have never made an entire pie from scratch in my life. Actually, that probably means you need to be sending me pie recipes. Just sayin’.]

I was baked in America, call me "Crescent"

I was baked in America, call me “Crescent”

My first impression of most woman in a work setting is that they are very intelligent, but kinda flaky.

Being a woman, I realize there is a very real possibility other people are viewing me this way as well.

This could be why we won’t have a female president any time soon.

Although no one probably would have predicted that in 2008 we would have elected a black president either.

What I am saying is, don’t take your money to Vegas and bet on my predictions. But, I digress.

I have talked to my husband about this. I think women just have a lot more going on in their heads than men do at any one given moment. And I used to think this was just how my brain worked.   That this was a sign I was going insane.  But through exact scientific research (i.e. Facebook e-card jokes), I am beginning to think it is actually a gender thing.

It sticks in your head, because it is true

It sticks in your head, because it is true

Sample Female Brain (mine – 5 seconds): I need to remember to DVR that show tonight in case my mom wants to watch it. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the diaper bag. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the house. I wonder if I used up all my diaper coupons. I wonder if Meijer has a diaper sale this week. I wonder if the sale is for the big boxes, or the even BIGGER boxes. Will my husband fall asleep and not get to work on time? What are we going to do about our conflicting schedules next Thursday? What if I accidentally touch that Hogweed plant I heard about on the news that causes blindness? Is Hogweed more or less scary than Lyme Disease? And are killer bees still the scariest of all?

[OK. My anxiety might have crept in at the end. But I think the quantity of thoughts is accurate, if not the actual content.]

Sample Male Brain (my husband’s – 5 seconds): I wonder how that clock works. Where is the screwdriver?

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

George always speaks the truth

George always speaks the truth

And I think this is why sometimes women come off as scatter-brained or flaky. Just because there is such a wealth of information racing through our heads, that it takes one extra second for the file hamster to grab the right index card of information while still running on the wheel in our brains.

We aren’t flaky because we can’t do the job, but we can do the job better because of it.

The File Hamster.  Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

The File Hamster. Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

What I Learned This Week – 1/27/13

This week I learned that if I don’t leave the house much, then I don’t spend much money. It makes for long, boring days, but at least I am not hanging out at Meijer just for something to do. Which then leads to unnecessary spending.

This week I also was reminded of something I already knew: If you go to the dollar store and say “Gosh, everything is only a dollar”, then you end up leaving with 20 items;P

Lookin’ Like a Bum

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Everyone has those days. Where you have carved out time in your busy schedule to clean the bathroom, but you are out of cleaning products. So, you run to the store in your pajamas. Or sweats. Or holey T-shirt you have had since high school and usually use to wax the car in. You try to get in and out as fast as possible, because you don’t really want anyone you know to spot you out of the house like that.

Or it happens at 9:30PM at night. You are already in your PJs and that ice cream craving hits. You can’t deny it. A run to the store is in order.

Now, these times used to not bother me too much. I have always looked young for my age (I am not bragging. Ask anyone. It is actually a pain sometimes.). I always assumed if I left the house dressed like a bum that people would just assume I am a college student too lazy to find a pair of jeans on my dorm room floor. (For the record, I have never lived in a dorm room. Except one night for orientation. Because the college MADE ME.)

But, the other day, as I cruised Meijer in yoga pants and too big flannel shirt from my grunge phase in 2000 (Yes, I know. Grunge was way over by then), I realized that I may no longer be viewed as a scummy college student anymore. I might just look like a tired mother, out to buy cleanser and ice cream. And that thought saddened me. Don’t get me wrong, I still am not going to dress like I am going to a job interview to go to the store. But I will be sad to think I am too old to fool anyone anymore.

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Meijer Moms Sing “Man In The Mirror”

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On Monday, I was at Meijer. I was shopping for a few staple items–lunchmeat, bread, milk, the book “The Age of Miracles” (which is really good by the way, you all should read it), diapers, etc.

It was just my 20 month-old and I. As we were walking through one of the frozen food aisles, I passed a woman with a small child riding in the cart (as mine was) and another child walking with her. The mother was singing along to the music that was playing in the store. It was Michael Jackson singing “Man in the Mirror”. I noticed because usually I am the only crazy person who sings in the store (although on this occasion, I was not).

I turned the corner and went into the next aisle of frozen food. And I once again passed a woman with a small child riding in the cart, singing along to “Man in the Mirror”. I did a double-take to see if it was the same woman. But it was a different one.

Since than, the news has been filled with stories about the Jackson family fighting over Michael’s three kids. I am sure Michael would have hated that his family is fighting over his precious kids and how public it all is. But, I bet if he saw the mothers singing his music as they grocery shopped, it would bring a smile to his face.

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Grammar vs. Text (& FBOF)

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You always hear news stories about how texting is dumbing down our teenagers and will someday replace the English language as we know it. I don’t see it that way. I think of them as two languages you can learn side by side, like English and French. Although, like anyone who knows two languages, the one you actually use the most will be the one you are more fluent in. That is part of why I write this blog.

Being out of work, I spend more time texting than writing emails of a professional nature. I try to write this blog in my own voice, while still trying to follow the basic rules of grammar. Does a smiley face sneak in sometimes (Why sure:) Do some posts have too many statements in parenthesis? (Definitely.) But I do generally consider myself a stickler for good spelling and grammar.

But, having texted, I totally understand the need for as much abbreviation as possible. It is necessary for speed, space-saving, and it saves your thumbs. Also, you have to realize I am not a part of the core texting generation. While kids today can type something like “OMGMMISL*” and totally understand each other, texting in my generation is a little different. My asbestos friend and I use texting as a substitute for phone calls and a more immediate version of email. I would love to call her and have long meaningful chats. But as we both have children between the ages of 11 months and 18 months, that seems a little improbable. And the signal at her house sucks.

We also have silly thoughts throughout the day that are better conveyed by text. But we are limited to how much we can abbreviate and still understand each other. Hence, our message often takes two or three texts to fully convey. I am thinking teenagers don’t do that. My friend and I only have abbreviations for things like Meijer (mjr), Wal-Mart (wmrt), and flaming butt of fire (fbof). My friend’s daughter coined the term “the flaming butt of fire.” (What is “the flaming butt of fire”? If you have to ask, honey, you have never had it!)

So, I believe, if actual writing is balanced with the actual English language, civilization will b ok a lil longer;)

* “Oh my God my Mom is so lame.”

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