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Have You Been Stricken with a Case of DUH?

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Note from the FunnyGurl2: This post begins a week-long series on important medical disorders you should be aware of. They could strike your family at any time. The only way to be prepared is to read all my posts this week and get informed.

You have probably not heard of DUH. But it strikes millions of Americans every day. You have felt its affects, but didn’t know how to describe it, what name to give it. It is responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost productivity every year.

It is DUH.

Dreaming Unattentive Head.*

Einstein has experienced it.

Einstein has experienced it.

I first named this disorder while finding that myself and my coworker, my green-haired friend, were both suffering from it at 12:00PM on April 16, 2003. The attacks sometimes only last a few seconds, as a fleeting daydream enters your head, then glides out again. But this particular attack lasted throughout the afternoon, until we finally punched the time clock at the end of the work day.

DUH sounds harmless enough. But if you experience DUH while driving, you should pull over immediately. You could be a danger to yourself or other drivers.

If you are trying to engage with others, such as in a meeting or a party, and you feel the effects of DUH coming on, you should politely excuse yourself and leave the room until the episode subsides. You wouldn’t want to be in the middle of explaining a new computer system to your co-workers, only to lose your train of thought to how yummy tacos could be for dinner tonight. Everyone would be sitting there, hanging on your every word, then wonder if you’ve had a stroke or something as you begin to lick your lips as your salivation increases. (That’s Pavlov’s dogs. Look it up.)

I <3 this dog's face!

I ❤ this dog!

The only known way to combat DUH is to be participating in an activity you actually enjoy and that holds your attention. If you keep experiencing DUH at work, you may need to look for a job that is more rewarding. If you experience DUH with your boyfriend, maybe you should look for one that is more challenging.

"DUH!" in Michelle Tanner's voice in my head--too cute!

“DUH!” in Michelle Tanner’s voice in my head–too cute!

If you enjoy DUH and want to turn yourself over to it fully, you can turn on your television and the moving pixels displayed there will lead you on a guided DUH experience. When relaxing on a couch and eating junk food, this activity is known as Vegetation. (The only kind of vegetable I like!)

* I realize Unattentive isn’t a word, but Inattentive would spell DIH, and that is just a stupid acronym.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish ForAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It CLICK HERE TO WIN!
The Wind Could Blow a BugWHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

If First Impression Flaky, Look Deeper To Find The Gooey Sweet Center

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[If you clicked on this to post to find scrumptious pie recipes, you are out of luck. I have never made an entire pie from scratch in my life. Actually, that probably means you need to be sending me pie recipes. Just sayin’.]

I was baked in America, call me "Crescent"

I was baked in America, call me “Crescent”

My first impression of most woman in a work setting is that they are very intelligent, but kinda flaky.

Being a woman, I realize there is a very real possibility other people are viewing me this way as well.

This could be why we won’t have a female president any time soon.

Although no one probably would have predicted that in 2008 we would have elected a black president either.

What I am saying is, don’t take your money to Vegas and bet on my predictions. But, I digress.

I have talked to my husband about this. I think women just have a lot more going on in their heads than men do at any one given moment. And I used to think this was just how my brain worked.   That this was a sign I was going insane.  But through exact scientific research (i.e. Facebook e-card jokes), I am beginning to think it is actually a gender thing.

It sticks in your head, because it is true

It sticks in your head, because it is true

Sample Female Brain (mine – 5 seconds): I need to remember to DVR that show tonight in case my mom wants to watch it. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the diaper bag. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the house. I wonder if I used up all my diaper coupons. I wonder if Meijer has a diaper sale this week. I wonder if the sale is for the big boxes, or the even BIGGER boxes. Will my husband fall asleep and not get to work on time? What are we going to do about our conflicting schedules next Thursday? What if I accidentally touch that Hogweed plant I heard about on the news that causes blindness? Is Hogweed more or less scary than Lyme Disease? And are killer bees still the scariest of all?

[OK. My anxiety might have crept in at the end. But I think the quantity of thoughts is accurate, if not the actual content.]

Sample Male Brain (my husband’s – 5 seconds): I wonder how that clock works. Where is the screwdriver?

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

George always speaks the truth

George always speaks the truth

And I think this is why sometimes women come off as scatter-brained or flaky. Just because there is such a wealth of information racing through our heads, that it takes one extra second for the file hamster to grab the right index card of information while still running on the wheel in our brains.

We aren’t flaky because we can’t do the job, but we can do the job better because of it.

The File Hamster.  Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

The File Hamster. Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

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