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Have You Been Stricken with a Case of DUH?

Posted on March 4, 2016 by funnygurl2

Note from the FunnyGurl2: This post begins a week-long series on important medical disorders you should be aware of. They could strike your family at any time. The only way to be prepared is to read all my posts this week and get informed.

You have probably not heard of DUH. But it strikes millions of Americans every day. You have felt its affects, but didn’t know how to describe it, what name to give it. It is responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost productivity every year.

It is DUH.

Dreaming Unattentive Head.*

Einstein has experienced it.

Einstein has experienced it.

I first named this disorder while finding that myself and my coworker, my green-haired friend, were both suffering from it at 12:00PM on April 16, 2003. The attacks sometimes only last a few seconds, as a fleeting daydream enters your head, then glides out again. But this particular attack lasted throughout the afternoon, until we finally punched the time clock at the end of the work day.

DUH sounds harmless enough. But if you experience DUH while driving, you should pull over immediately. You could be a danger to yourself or other drivers.

If you are trying to engage with others, such as in a meeting or a party, and you feel the effects of DUH coming on, you should politely excuse yourself and leave the room until the episode subsides. You wouldn’t want to be in the middle of explaining a new computer system to your co-workers, only to lose your train of thought to how yummy tacos could be for dinner tonight. Everyone would be sitting there, hanging on your every word, then wonder if you’ve had a stroke or something as you begin to lick your lips as your salivation increases. (That’s Pavlov’s dogs. Look it up.)

I <3 this dog's face!

I ❤ this dog!

The only known way to combat DUH is to be participating in an activity you actually enjoy and that holds your attention. If you keep experiencing DUH at work, you may need to look for a job that is more rewarding. If you experience DUH with your boyfriend, maybe you should look for one that is more challenging.

"DUH!" in Michelle Tanner's voice in my head--too cute!

“DUH!” in Michelle Tanner’s voice in my head–too cute!

If you enjoy DUH and want to turn yourself over to it fully, you can turn on your television and the moving pixels displayed there will lead you on a guided DUH experience. When relaxing on a couch and eating junk food, this activity is known as Vegetation. (The only kind of vegetable I like!)

* I realize Unattentive isn’t a word, but Inattentive would spell DIH, and that is just a stupid acronym.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish For – AVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It – CLICK HERE TO WIN!
The Wind Could Blow a Bug – WHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

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A Picture of Contrasts

Posted on December 4, 2012 by funnygurl2

I love this picture. Always have.

Just a couple of youngin’s walking down the street, up to no good.

This picture used to be on my bulletin board. Now it is in one of my special picture albums that does not conform to chronological order, as the rest of them do.

This is a picture of my asbestos friend and I walking down the street in front of my house while we were in high school. My mom shot it out our front door. My asbestos friend and I were probably heading from the small village grocery store back to her house. (I think she still stops at that store at least once a day, every day. I don’t know what she did when she lived 2,000 miles away in Arizona.)

To me, this has always been a picture of contrasts.

First of all, there is snow, but also puddles.

I am wearing a scarf, but no winter coat.

We are not children, but not yet adults.

We look like we are deeply engaged in conversation, when we were probably talking about nothing.

That isn’t true.  We were probably talking about boys.

I love this picture.  I love the purple boots I am wearing in the picture.

I still own that cream-colored hoodie and that scarf (I knew the hoodie was that old, but not the scarf.).  That hoodie can be found in the lower left of a picture in my post from April of 2012 called You Give Hoodies A Bad Name (https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2012/04/01/you-give-hoodies-a-bad-name/)

I look like I am almost skipping, probably just happy that someone stopped by and I got to leave the house for five minutes. At that time in my life, my friends were in sports, band, modeling, had boyfriends, etc. Me, well, I had television. An active imagination. Lots of markers to draw with. Ya, that was about it. My existence was pretty dull at that point.

But I don’t even mind that my mom secretly captured all that. It makes me yearn for more innocent days (but not boring days. Or high school. Or being sad, lonely, depressed, unloved, suicidal.)…ok, scratch “innocent days”.

It makes me yearn for my friend’s kid-free day, when we go roaming about as we please, willy-nilly, with no one to feed or take care of but ourselves.

Maybe what I see most in the picture is freedom. Freedom from school. Freedom from winter. From winter coats. From snow. Freedom to just be.

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There is a Pawn, There is a Rook

Posted on June 19, 2012 by funnygurl2

I wrote this poem on the back of a math assignment in high school. I might have been a freshmen. I misplaced it for a while, and it drove me nuts because I really liked it and couldn’t remember exactly how it had been written. But then I found it again. I think it was tucked in a different subject’s text book.

I like how it rhymes. And how the children never have to go to school. As I wrote it while in school and didn’t want to be there. But I knew, realistically, the kids would still be required by the Happy Town government to receive some form of education. That is why I added “They learned from life/And their father’s wife [most likely being their mother]”.

I still don’t really know what a pawn or a rook are. Something to do with chess. Being stuck in school, I just loved the imagery of bad guys (and school bullies) getting what they deserved. And the image of playing with puppies in the sunshine. Sooo much better than being crammed in a classroom listening to a teacher drone on and on and on.

I do believe this could make a great children’s book someday. The image below I typed up on my word processor I was going to use to become a famous writer. I ended up selling it at a garage sale. But enjoy this poem I typed up and printed on the fancy-schmancy paper that came with it. I like how the girl at the top has a star on her eye. It makes her look like she belongs with Jem and the Holograms.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

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Why do we have to Share?

Posted on December 7, 2011 by funnygurl2

I am an only child. IT WAS GREAT! I highly recommend it. All the toys were mine! All the holiday candy was mine! Sure, I did get bored quite often, which felt like suffering at the time. But I also believe that boredom helped me to personally develop the three areas I am most proud of: my imagination, my creativity, and entertainment trivia knowledge.

This brings me to my question: Why do we have to share? Think about how little kids play. As soon as Kid A picks up a toy, Kid B wants to play with it. Should Kid A have to give it up? I say, Kid B should have to wait till Kid A is done with it.

What if the situation were such that Kid B was visiting Kid A’s house. I believe Kid A should have the right to say which toys Kid B is allowed to play with. Kid A has been taught to respect and take care of his or her toys because they will not be replaced. What if Kid B doesn’t view the world like that?

And “You should share” gets misused all the time. I have a perfect example. I was an elementary school kid on the playground. I had brought my new toy to school. A certain boy wanted to play with it, so he said “You have to share.” I looked at him and laughingly said, “No I don’t!” He was the kind of boy that would have run off with my possession and I never would have seen it again. He was a vile creature, who I still hate to this day, and I am very glad he grew up to be a giant loser. So there, sucker!

As grownups, we don’t have to share. We don’t share our homes (that is squatting), our cars (that is joy riding), or our flat screen TVs (that’s stealing). I guess we need to “share on our own terms.” We should share our wealth with charitable organizations. We should share our good wishes with those in need. We should share our love with others.

My final thought on this subject: Sharing is good, but you are the only person who can look out for you. Don’t let people take advantage of you.

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