I have been saving up, so here a few things I learned over the last few weeks.
I learned that my first book signing made me feel like a rock star. I got to see friends and family from far and wide that I almost never get to see. A former coworker even bought me a flower.
I can’t remember the last time I had flowers!
My cousins brought me my dad’s army jacket.
I didn’t even know that it still existed!
Did I sell some books? YES!
Did I sell enough to become independently wealthy? Eh, no. But there is always the next appearance. Keep checking my Events page for details.
I have also learned that my boy is a genius.
I know, every parent thinks that about their own kid.
And I admit, my child might actually be an evil genius.
After missing 3 out of 4 days of preschool one week for a fever, my son became accustomed to watching the Disney Pixar movie Cars twice a day.
My son went to school the next Monday & Tuesday, although he tried to talk his way out of it. By Wednesday, he was like “I’m sick. My ear hurts. I have to stay home. Call my teachers and tell them I won’t be in. We can watch Lightning McQueen, then maybe we can go visit Grandma.”
I told him he could a) go to school, or b) stay home and go to the doctor. He chose option b.
The pediatrician was like “It is a little red in there. Hard to see around all the wax. Here is a prescription for antibiotics.”
Oy. That doesn’t exactly prove that my son was playing me, but pretty much, ya.
Last week, it was “I can’t go to school. I’m sick. My hand hurts.” The next day it was “I’m sick. Both my hands hurt.” I asked why he didn’t want to go to school, and he said “It’s boring.”
Oh no. That is exactly what I used to say all the time. I have raised a mini-me.
Hope you had a hoppy Easter.
After seeing the Easter Bunny talking to kids at the mall, my son asked me a ton of questions, including, “What does the Easter Bunny do at night?” I replied that he goes to sleep. I was corrected.
“No. He takes off his costume and goes to bed.”
Right.
My first book, The Wind Could Blow a Bug is NOW AVAILABLE!
What do all these guys have in common? They are all white rappers.
And I love them all. And no, Eminem is NOT included on my list. He only has ever recorded two singles that didn’t sound like the beat was from a Casio keyboard and he was trying to do a cartoon voice. Those two decent song are “Lose Yourself” and “Stan”.
It was 1999.
I had my first “real” job post-college in an office, sitting in front of a computer for eight hours a day doing monotonous work.
I was miserable.
Luckily, they let me listen to music while I did my boring data entry work.
At this same time, there was a song on the radio that I really liked. I didn’t know the name of it or who sang it, but I was pretty sure it went as follows:
Break it up let’s tie one on
I gotta get set to go and cut the lawn
So I grab my Walkman but before I cut
I go behind the garage and fire it up
Cause I’m the pool guy
You understand
I thought they were weird lyrics, but I definitely liked the Rap Rock mix. At a chance encounter hanging out at a bonfire, I got to hear more of the album. I liked it a lot. I found out the song above is actually called “Bullgod”, and I had misheard the lyrics.
I went out and purchased the CD (Yes, people did that back then): Kid Rock’s “Devil Without A Cause”
I listened to it every day for the next year. While I was a good little obedient worker typing away, I was listening to wonderful lyrics about drugs and violence and sex set to a pounding beat on my headphones.
My Kid Rock standee, with Hogwart the hedgehog
I fell in love with Kid Rock’s music. I bought all his previous CDs that I could get from online auctions. I never managed to get Fire It up, an EP that was released in 1993. I liked listening to his early stuff to hear how he evolved, but I still loved Devil Without A Cause the best.
Kid Rock has a great saying that perfectly describes how his music affected me:
If it looks good, you’ll see it;
If it sounds good, you’ll hear it,
if it’s marketed right, you’ll buy it;
But…if it’s real, you’ll feel it.
At this same time, I started attending rock concerts regularly, which I had never really done before. But I suddenly had opportunities (on rare occasions, we got free tickets at work) and people to attend with me. I learned that some people require alcohol to have a good time on a night out, and some do not. I mostly went to concerts with my green-haired friend, her brother, and my crazy friend. They did not required alcohol to have a good time. We could end up laughing until we couldn’t breath with no help from outside substances whatsoever.
The first time I saw Kid Rock in person was at a Top Dog showcase at the State Theatre (Now known as the Fillmore Detroit) in Detroit, Michigan on July 27, 2000. Top Dog is Kid Rock’s own record label. Kid Rock wasn’t scheduled to perform, but I hoped that he would. I also hoped that he would be there, and maybe there would be a chance to meet him. My green-haired friend, her brother, and I stood in a line that ran down the side of the building, waiting for them to open the doors. We were apparently standing right near a stage door, because guys kept going in and out with guitars and speakers and stuff. I told my friends that I thought the guy with the bright orange dyed hair was in Kid Rock’s band, Twisted Brown Trucker. They did not believe me. Until later, when he was on stage with Uncle Kracker. The orange haired guy was Jason Krause. Although we didn’t get an autograph that day, we would ten months later.
Kid Rock didn’t perform at that show, but he did emcee, announcing the three acts before each one performed. Paradigm, Howling Diablos, and Uncle Kracker performed. I believe Joe C. was there too. We would all go on to become big Uncle Kracker fans, and attend many of his concerts.
The first time I actually saw Kid Rock perform was at Pine Knob (Now known as the DTE Energy Music Theater) in Clarkston, Michigan on August 25, 2000. My green-haired friend and I had stood in line when tickets went on sale early one Saturday morning. It was an outdoor venue, and we had been lucky enough to get pavilion seats, although they were 48 rows back from the stage. The local radio station was having a contest to win tickets. I thought they might have closer seats, so I called and won. Alas, what I won were lawn tickets. So, I invited my boyfriend (now husband) and his best friend along with us.
To my delight, and many other young people’s confusion, David Allan Coe was the opening act. I grew up on 70’s and 80’s country. “You Never Even Call Me By Name” is one of his biggest hits, and one of my favorite country songs. Sadly, that is about all I remember from that concert.
It would be the last time we would see Joe C. in person alive, as he died on November 16, 2000. Eerily enough, my husband and I were driving through Taylor that very evening, coming home from another show. Because I worked with people who worked with record company people, I actually knew the time and location of Joe C.’s funeral, but I didn’t go. I do have SOME stalker morals.
I started to watch Kid Rock on every TV show that he performed on. I started a scrapbook of magazine articles about him. I dressed as Kid Rock for Halloween, and wore it to work. I made a collage on my bedroom door. I hung up posters of him in my cubicle at work. One of my co-workers started to call me Kid Jen. I had a giant cardboard standee of him in my living room. I was obsessed. Which is unfortunate, because there was a lull in Kid Rock activity in the time until his Cocky album was came out in late 2001.
Me, Halloween 2000, as Kid Rock
On May 27, 2001, my green-haired friend, her brother, my now-husband, and I went to the 89X 10th Birthday Bash at a venue called Phoenix Plaza. I always get lost in Pontiac. And Phoenix Plaza is a big park on top of a parking garage. All sorts of bands that really have no relation to this story were performing that day. Sum 41 (who we MISSED!), Rehab (who got booed), Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Cold, Staind, Puddle of Mudd, and Dope. Right when we got there, two members of Treble Charger (who we had seen in concert a few weeks prior, also the concert where I obtained most of my current hearing damage) walked right by us. By the time I convinced my green-haired friend that that is who the guys indeed were, they got on an elevator and left. With later Internet research, we found out one of those guys from Treble Charger sometimes produces Sum 41 albums.
Jason Krause’s Autograph
But that would not be the first of our celebrity encounters that day. There was a whole area where the bands would come and sign stuff. Jason Krause, orange-haired guitar player from Twisted Brown Trucker, and Stefanie Eulinberg, Kid Rock’s drummer, were also there. They weren’t performing, just watching the bands. Jason happily signed an autograph for us. We ran into Stephanie in the crowd. She was super nice, then proceeded to work her way forward toward the stage. She was shorter than me, and having trouble seeing the performances.
Stefanie Eulinberg Autograph
According to my ticket stubs, next we went to see Uncle Kracker at Freedom Hill Amphitheater on August 24, 2001. It was a beautiful outdoor venue, but VERY far away from my house. Uncle Kracker’s debut CD contained a song with Kid Rock on it. I hoped Kid Rock would appear to perform it with him. He did not. Although, Ron Jeremy introduced Uncle Kracker that day. How many people can say they have seen Ron Jeremy in person?
The concert had an official After Party at the Emerald Ballroom in Mount Clemens. I fell in love with the Emerald Theatre (Now called the Macomb Music Theatre) and its cozy leather chairs. But alas, it was even FURTHER away from my house, and not optimal to frequent for concerts.
Yes, we went to the afterparty, hoping to see Kid Rock. We did not. We did get to see Uncle Kracker’s very attractive guitar player from just a few feet away though. The ride back to Belleville was very, very long. Everyone fell asleep except, luckily, the driver.
Someone at work informed me that Kid Rock was doing a video shoot at the Palace of Auburn Hills. We tried to stalk it.
Come back on Thursday for Part 2 to find out if we ever did find the music video shoot, and if I ever got to meet Kid Rock…
And you actually need to spread on very little Nutella to get a big complimentary taste. I am not a big peanut butter fan, but we have accumulated a lot of it in our house. I feel a need to eat it up. I find I prefer crunchy to regular.
This might sound like an odd combination, but you have to realize you are listening to a person who had never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in her life. Peanut butter sandwich-yes. Jelly on toast-yes. The two substances together? That just strikes me as completely disgusting.
This week I also got to wear my Halloween costume that I have been planning for a year, and made a large portion of myself.
Curious? I will give you 3 clues.
1. She is a female.
2. Born in 1976.
3. She is three apples high (but my costume is much bigger).
Hello Kitty!
Hello Kitty costume
I saw a Hello Kitty outfit at a costume store last year, and that gave me the idea. But the costume looked cheap and flimsy and had like a tutu on it. I was like “I can totally make something better than that!”
You should know one of my rules for a Halloween costume is that it be reusable. (I am a Capricorn, I like to get my money’s worth.) One year I invested in a short skirt, short black jacket, and gray velvet tank top. I wore them for YEARS in numerous costumes:
Slutty Witch
Pirate Wench
Slutty Fairy
Juno (I wore the skirt over jeans–I was pregnant that year)
As you might remember, last year I was Jem from Jem & the Holograms. Instead of paying big money for a slutty plastic dress made in China, I bought a pink wrap dress I could reuse on other occasions (also probably made in China). Notice I said “could” reuse. I am anti-dress for most occasions, so I have probably only worn it once since last Halloween.
Now, as you can probably guess I froze my ass off with a lot of these past costumes running around on the streets on October 31 in Michigan. Sometimes I had uncomfortable shoes on as well.
So, this new Hello Kitty costume needed to be both warm and comfortable, in addition to reusable.
I searched online and found the cutest (and reasonably cheap) Hello Kitty winter hat. The face is the most important part, and it is important that it look good. Plus, it was reusable, warm, and comfy.
Hello Kitty wears many different clothes for her many personalities, but the most iconic are her red overalls. I decided to make the overalls out of red fleece, as it does not unravel and would require less sewing. I used some denim overalls I already had as a make-shift pattern. I pinned it up and had my asbestos friend sew up the long leg seams for me. I own a sewing machine, but can’t manage to work it. Then I hand-sewed on the buttons, the button holes, the tail, and the pockets. (The Hello Kitty material I used for the pockets is supposed to help clue in those who may still have trouble figuring out my costume.) It is very warm, very comfy, but resusable? Hell ya! I am planning to use it as pajama pants.
Nice Tail!
The only people who really seemed to love it were the little girls, but that is alright. I got to wear it to Trick or Treating at the mall and around town on Halloween. Unfortunately, the weather on Halloween was windy and rainy, and the annual parade and bonfire where canceled. So, I don’t feel like I got as much mileage out of my costume as I would have liked.
Maybe I will not turn it into pajamas so quickly. Maybe I will wash it up and wear it again next year.
This week I learned that while wearing a wig for Halloween can pretty significantly change your appearance, it is not a pleasant experience. I wore a long blonde wig. My wig would block my vision when I bent down or if the wind blew. The hair was so long, that I had trouble putting my jacket on and sitting against the back of the car seat, because it would get caught.
Wearing that long hair for 5 hours made me realize why chicks like Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus cut all their long hair off and go a little crazy. They get drunk from the freedom! And all that weight not pulling down on their brain!
Crunchtables Pretzel Coated Dill Pickle Crisps
I discovered this a few weeks ago, but still a worthy side note. You no longer have to go to a restaurant to enjoy the taste sensation that is fried pickles! I found Crunchtables Pretzel Coated Dill Pickle Crisps in the frozen vegetable section at Walmart. I make them in the oven, so they are actually more like “baked pickles”, but they are ready in 11 minutes and oh so good!
After my family consumed our third box of them in two weeks time, my husband asked me how much they cost. I told him I had never looked. We agreed that it didn’t matter, they are worth it!
I'm not stalking you. 