RSS Feed

Tag Archives: Easter

A Proposal for the Birthday Bunny

Christmas has Santa Claus. Easter has the Easter Bunny. Lost teeth have the Tooth Fairy.

All these occasions have a character who delivers you the goods you feel you are entitled just because a certain event happens to take place on a certain day.

I have always felt that birthdays should be the same way. After all, it is the most special of special days. Without your birthday, you would be, well, non-existent.

Wouldn’t it be great if some sort of character brought you your gifts that day?

That is why I have always felt we needed a character such as “the Birthday Bunny.”

Wait...Mr. Floppy from Unhappily Ever After is not what I had in mind.

Wait…Mr. Floppy from Unhappily Ever After is not what I had in mind.

Now, I know you are going to say that Easter already has a bunny. But Easter also has eggs and chicks and sheep. The powers that be can just pick a new animal to adorn the packages of candy and toys. Heck, if we wanted to be truer to the origins of Easter, we should put zombie Jesus on everything. Zombies are still popular these days; that could prove to be a successful marketing strategy. Everyone loves zombies, the very young to the very old.

Plus, if you give the bunny to the occasion of birthday, you get alliteration, which is always highly desirable.

Just think, retailers can only use Santa during the last three months of the year, and Christmas in July. But people have birthdays ALL YEAR LONG! Every day someone somewhere is having a birthday. Stores could have on-going sales with tables of merchandise featuring stuffed animals of the Birthday Bunny and signage with him as well. Or maybe there could be one special sale day a month to cover any shopping for gifts for birthdays occurring that month. The increased visibility would push people to gift more quantity and more expensive presents to their loved ones. It would also encourage people to impulsively gift themselves for their own big days. Instead of rental halls being all booked up in November and December for Christmas parties, maybe celebration parties could be held instead for birthdays and staggered throughout the year.

Whoa. This thing could potentially eclipse the gluttony of Christmas. (I am well aware that that is not what Christmas is supposed to be about, but to retailers and children, it often evolves into that.)

I picture the Birthday Bunny as pink and fluffy. But maybe he should be a more neutral color to appeal to both genders. Maybe a nice oatmeal tan would be good. And maybe he should be a “she.” Maybe the Birthday Bunny should be a nurturing female character. We do biologically require a mother to have a birthday, so it could make sense to have a motherly bunny to give you hugs and gifts and candy.

Woah..not evil Nana Bunny.

Woah..not evil Nana Bunny.

This is still an idea very much in development. But I have had this in my brain for probably 30 years. Maybe I am just jealous that my January birthday gets eclipsed every year by Santa Claus, Rudolph, and Baby New Year. I think it is time for birthdays to be the blowout events they should be.

Now, that is more like it!

Now, that is more like it!

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
The Wind Could Blow a BugAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It NEW RELEASE!
Be Careful What You Wish For – COMING JANUARY 2016! (Not a lie. It is being birthed as we speak!)

What I Learned This Week – 4/5/15

Posted on

I have been saving up, so here a few things I learned over the last few weeks.

I learned that my first book signing made me feel like a rock star. I got to see friends and family from far and wide that I almost never get to see. A former coworker even bought me a flower.

I can’t remember the last time I had flowers!

My cousins brought me my dad’s army jacket.

I didn’t even know that it still existed!

Did I sell some books? YES!

Did I sell enough to become independently wealthy? Eh, no. But there is always the next appearance. Keep checking my Events page for details.

I have also learned that my boy is a genius.

I know, every parent thinks that about their own kid.

And I admit, my child might actually be an evil genius.

After missing 3 out of 4 days of preschool one week for a fever, my son became accustomed to watching the Disney Pixar movie Cars twice a day.

My son went to school the next Monday & Tuesday, although he tried to talk his way out of it. By Wednesday, he was like “I’m sick. My ear hurts. I have to stay home. Call my teachers and tell them I won’t be in. We can watch Lightning McQueen, then maybe we can go visit Grandma.”

I told him he could a) go to school, or b) stay home and go to the doctor. He chose option b.

The pediatrician was like “It is a little red in there. Hard to see around all the wax. Here is a prescription for antibiotics.”

Oy. That doesn’t exactly prove that my son was playing me, but pretty much, ya.

Last week, it was “I can’t go to school. I’m sick. My hand hurts.” The next day it was “I’m sick. Both my hands hurt.” I asked why he didn’t want to go to school, and he said “It’s boring.”

Oh no. That is exactly what I used to say all the time. I have raised a mini-me.

Hope you had a hoppy Easter.

Hope you had a hoppy Easter.

After seeing the Easter Bunny talking to kids at the mall, my son asked me a ton of questions, including, “What does the Easter Bunny do at night?” I replied that he goes to sleep. I was corrected.

“No. He takes off his costume and goes to bed.”

Right.

My first book, The Wind Could Blow a Bug is NOW AVAILABLE!

PURCHASE as a Paperback or eBook on Amazon.com TODAY.

What I Learned This Week – 4/20/14

Posted on

This week I learned that my son loves Easter egg hunts.

WEEK-Easter

Last year, he was almost 2 1/2 years old. He really had no idea why we wanted him to collect plastic eggs.

This year, he is almost 3 1/2. I am still not sure if he got the connection that eggs=candy or stickers or money. But he knew he had to grab as many as possible.

While all the other kids at church were lined up on the bright Easter morning, patiently waiting while the pastor explained the boundaries of the egg hunt, I had my arm around my son holding him back as he screamed at the top of his lungs and waved his camouflage Easter bucket in the air.

Oy.

He didn’t used to be like this. He used to be unsocialized, unsure of new situations. It is amazing what a few years will do.

Next we went to his Grandma’s house. There they color-coded the eggs, to ensure all the goodies were evenly distributed between the three participating children. It was a good system. Except my son had already tasted the glory of grabbing as many eggs as possible. His father and I had to reel him in a little.

He also spent his day playing like a crazy boy with the other kids in the church nursery, and playing outside with his cousins.

He ended the day dog-tired, with two big chocolate bunnies (one milk hollow, one white solid), $14, a new T-shirt, two new books, a new DVD, a toy helicopter, and countless stickers and chocolate candies.

I think he might like Easter better than Christmas. Where we live, it is too cold to play outdoors on Christmas!

What I Learned This Week – 3/31/13 “Hoppy Easter!”

Posted on
Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

Absolutely LOVE this pic.   It is my current desktop on my puter.    Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

 

This week I learned that Jesus was a zombie.

That is the whole point of Easter, right?

Celebrating when Jesus rose up as his zombie self to prove their was undead life after death?

My family went to church this morning (Shhh, don’t tell my mother. She would highly disapprove.) We went because I found a super-cute Easter outfit for my son at Once Upon a Child. My mom always said “the only reason to get an Easter outfit is if you go to church.” So, if you look at it that way, it is kind of her fault.

We also went to see my asbestos friend and her family.

And because the church was having a potluck breakfast and Easter egg hunt. It would be my son’s first Easter egg hunt, in a relatively riot-free environment.

My husband didn’t realize they were going to have a regular service after. He ended up going in the nursery with my son and taking a nap (New job, screwed up schedule, remember?). I stayed to listen to the sermon for two reasons.

The first and biggest reason is that we usually attend the church events, but not Sunday service. And the few times a year we do attend Sunday services, the church either doesn’t collect an offering or collects it for some charity other than themselves. While that is nice, it doesn’t make good business sense. They need one of those drop boxes for donations. It would make them more susceptible to burglary, but I would give more often. So, I had to stay until they collected the offering.

The second is that it only seemed polite. Get breakfast and eggs and ditch? That didn’t seem nice. And my whole family came, it seemed like at least one of us should actually stay in the church area (I can’t remember what it is called) and listen to the sermon.

The pastor talked about how Jesus rose and stood right next to a chick he had known and she didn’t recognize him.

Um, maybe because he was a rotting re-animated corpse?

And, corpse or not, if he rose again, what happened to him then?

Did he just say “Hey dudes, I did it!” and disappear into colored vapor? Did someone have to exorcise him? Did they have to kill him again? Shoot him with a silver bullet? Cut off his head?

Inquiring minds want to know. My entire biblical education amounts to watching the Charlton Heston movie “The Ten Commandments.”

I tell you, my new enlightenment today on this old story makes it seem WAY more interesting and contemporary. Because, you know, the zombies are coming soon…

Photo: austinist.com

Photo: austinist.com

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: