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A Proposal for the Birthday Bunny

Christmas has Santa Claus. Easter has the Easter Bunny. Lost teeth have the Tooth Fairy.

All these occasions have a character who delivers you the goods you feel you are entitled just because a certain event happens to take place on a certain day.

I have always felt that birthdays should be the same way. After all, it is the most special of special days. Without your birthday, you would be, well, non-existent.

Wouldn’t it be great if some sort of character brought you your gifts that day?

That is why I have always felt we needed a character such as “the Birthday Bunny.”

Wait...Mr. Floppy from Unhappily Ever After is not what I had in mind.

Wait…Mr. Floppy from Unhappily Ever After is not what I had in mind.

Now, I know you are going to say that Easter already has a bunny. But Easter also has eggs and chicks and sheep. The powers that be can just pick a new animal to adorn the packages of candy and toys. Heck, if we wanted to be truer to the origins of Easter, we should put zombie Jesus on everything. Zombies are still popular these days; that could prove to be a successful marketing strategy. Everyone loves zombies, the very young to the very old.

Plus, if you give the bunny to the occasion of birthday, you get alliteration, which is always highly desirable.

Just think, retailers can only use Santa during the last three months of the year, and Christmas in July. But people have birthdays ALL YEAR LONG! Every day someone somewhere is having a birthday. Stores could have on-going sales with tables of merchandise featuring stuffed animals of the Birthday Bunny and signage with him as well. Or maybe there could be one special sale day a month to cover any shopping for gifts for birthdays occurring that month. The increased visibility would push people to gift more quantity and more expensive presents to their loved ones. It would also encourage people to impulsively gift themselves for their own big days. Instead of rental halls being all booked up in November and December for Christmas parties, maybe celebration parties could be held instead for birthdays and staggered throughout the year.

Whoa. This thing could potentially eclipse the gluttony of Christmas. (I am well aware that that is not what Christmas is supposed to be about, but to retailers and children, it often evolves into that.)

I picture the Birthday Bunny as pink and fluffy. But maybe he should be a more neutral color to appeal to both genders. Maybe a nice oatmeal tan would be good. And maybe he should be a “she.” Maybe the Birthday Bunny should be a nurturing female character. We do biologically require a mother to have a birthday, so it could make sense to have a motherly bunny to give you hugs and gifts and candy.

Woah..not evil Nana Bunny.

Woah..not evil Nana Bunny.

This is still an idea very much in development. But I have had this in my brain for probably 30 years. Maybe I am just jealous that my January birthday gets eclipsed every year by Santa Claus, Rudolph, and Baby New Year. I think it is time for birthdays to be the blowout events they should be.

Now, that is more like it!

Now, that is more like it!

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
The Wind Could Blow a BugAVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It NEW RELEASE!
Be Careful What You Wish For – COMING JANUARY 2016! (Not a lie. It is being birthed as we speak!)

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