What I Learned This Week – 4/14/13

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This week I may have learned what my perfect job might be. I had an interview at a local botanical spot. It was only part-time, and the hours would have been perfect for my husband to work a 2nd shift job. (Alas, the new job he started a few weeks ago just didn’t work out, for multiple reasons. He really did try. Poor baby.) Lots of time to still spend with my son and not have to mess with daycare. It didn’t pay much, but it also would have been pretty low-stress work as well. I liked the boss and she seemed to like me a lot. But, the catch is that there is actually NO POSITION OPEN right now. She just suspects one of her employees is going to possibly quit soon. Ugh. Frustrating.

My favorite Olivia & Peter kiss-the first one, Season 2 Finale in the alternate universe. Photo: nypost.com

My favorite Olivia & Peter kiss-the first one, Season 2 Finale in the alternate universe.
Photo: nypost.com

The other thing I learned this week is that Fringe is highly addictive. I watched the series during it’s regular run. I missed very few episodes. It was “Must-See TV” for me. (I know, wrong network!) Today the SCI channel (who knew that even existed?) was running a marathon. I watched like 6 hours of Season 3 straight through. I was not fond of the final season of Fringe. It was very depressing. But while watching those doomsday episodes, I had forgot how much I had enjoyed all the earlier episodes. And how watching Peter, Walter, Olivia, and Astrid become a deeply caring family really was a joy for the first four seasons.

And as a chronic shipper, it was amazing for me to actually be delightfully surprised when Peter and Olivia got together.

I Will Never Be Freshly Pressed

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My asbestos friend will be very angry at me when she sees the title of this post. She is a deep believer in manifestation and the law of attraction. She believes that putting this statement out into the universe will make it a reality.

And I believe that too. Somedays. Other times I believe you have to worry about something to prevent it from happening. But usually that only gives me a stomach ache. And something completely different that I never thought to worry about can go wrong in its place.

Today, well, I am trying to make myself stop hoping for something that will never happen. To become Freshly Pressed on WordPress. (Their list of the best of recent blogs, updated daily–or so they claim.)

It would, indeed, be a great honor.

But, occasionally, I write a deeply personal post that, while my blog is pretty anonymous, I would feel weird if the masses read it. Those posts I am glad that they are not picked to be Freshly Pressed.

To anyone else, I am sure my blog looks like a disorganized jumble of craziness. When I look at my blog and what I have created, it makes me happy beyond words. Sometimes, I just visit it to gaze with wonder and amazement that I have my own website, my own URL, and I get to chose what is on it.

To a thirteen year old today who grew up amidst such technology, it would not seem impressive at all. But when I was in high school, the Internet wasn’t something everyone had in their house. Not every product had a website. It was common to not even know the terms Internet or website. I did my big final paper for my Bachelor’s degree in college on comparing the websites of radio stations. That was a big deal then.

While I crave praise in my life (I chalk that up as being my mother’s fault), I am going to have to settle for my blog to just make me happy for sake of being there. I fear my genius (yes, that’s a joke) will never be featured on Freshly Pressed.

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards...for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards…for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

But I probably won’t give up hope that Ellen might mention my blog some day on her show. Seems like a good fit, I think;)

What I Learned This Week – 4/7/13

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This week I learned that squirrels are more evil than I ever suspected.  Just look at what one did to my dog!

The leg is still there, just heavily bandaged.

The leg is still there, just heavily bandaged.

Now, I do feel like I may have helped to manifest this. I did tell my dog, Parker, he should kill the squirrel in our yard. I even told him that if he got bit or scratched in the process, I would take him to the vet and get him fixed up. I also had a plan on Friday to go to the vet and purchase more heartworm preventative.

But, well, Parker impaled himself on a metal post in our yard in what I can only suspect was pursuit of a squirrel on Tuesday afternoon. A metal post that would not have even been there except we put it there to prevent him from escaping out a gap at the bottom of the other two fences.

The scene of the injury.  The squirrel runs up the tree on the other side of the fence.  The green post used to be straight up.

The scene of the injury. The squirrel runs up the tree on the other side of the fence. The green post used to be straight up.

I feel a little guilty. I did momentarily forget both dogs outside. But that was for like 10 minutes. Parker had been left outside unattended longer. (We have a fully fenced in yard. Not that that keeps my dogs from escape or mayhem.) And really, who expects their dog to crucify himself on a 4ft tall metal post?

Tuesday afternoon, my husband is just walking out the door to go to work. He attempts to let the dogs in for me. We discover that Parker has what is (let’s put this delicately) a giant hole ripped in his front right leg doggie armpit. I grabbed my first aid kit. My husband, who JUST started a new job as a temp and CANNOT be late stayed 5 more minutes. He helped me get the injury wrapped up, and put Parker in the car. (Dude, that dog weighs 60lbs. I can’t exactly cradle him in my arms.) I called the vet. They said the doctor was out on a call and wouldn’t be back for an hour. She made it sound like I should hang out at home for a few more minutes. Then she said I could come in if I wanted and they could pressure wrap it while I waited.

When I got there, she said my wrap job was good, so they just left it til the doctor returned. The doctor, without looking at it yet, said it would be 30-45 minutes and asked me if I wanted to wait or come back. She said she would give him something to make him sleepy. I waited.

I skipped laying my son down for a nap because I just couldn't bring myself to close the curtain on this poor, injured dog.

I skipped laying my son down for a nap because I just couldn’t bring myself to close the curtain on this poor, injured dog.

I could tell when they removed Parker’s bandages. The assistant came in and told me he ripped quite the hole in himself. Then she came back in and asked if it was OK if they did a chest X-ray, because the doctor was worry he may have punctured his lung. (He didn’t.) Then the doctor came in and informed me that my dog had tried to rip his leg off, but luckily he was unsuccessful and had missed the muscle, tendons, etc. He was lucky he had missed his main blood vessel (which apparently she could see beating). If he had clipped that, she said he would have bled to death before I could have gotten him to the office.

They ended giving him full anesthesia and intubating him. We were there for another two hours.

Now, you might think this is a lucky dog. But remember, he is also a determined, stubborn, entitled dog.

In order to not pull out the stitches, they wrapped his whole front leg to his body. Essentially, he is a tripod. Except, well, he knows his leg is still there and tries to get it out.

Thursday morning my husband took Parker to get a dressing change. By the time they arrived back home (approximately 20 minutes), Parker had worked his leg out. Back to the vet they both went. My husband arrived home a second time–with a dog who had 4 legs visibly showing. We went back the third time that morning, and got re-wrapped again.

This time we tranquilized him. Probably a little too much. The tranquilizer was to keep him from messing with his bandage or doing silly things like trying to get on the couch.

The vet also recommended greatly confining him. But my incredibly tired and exhausted husband didn’t get around to it. Or maybe he thought the dog didn’t need to be.

By Thursday afternoon, he was laying in front of the couch (an obvious play to make it up on it) and he had used his back leg to scratch at his bandage, exposing his drain. (Gross, I know. Sorry.)

So, I re-bandaged a drugged dog who couldn’t stand up as well as I could. He is leaky, but at least we didn’t have to take him back again.

By Friday morning, the dog had made his way into our bedroom. This is the furthest spot from the back door, where he needed to be taken out because he hadn’t been outside in hours and hours. So, using a beach towel as a sling around his torso, I half-walked/mostly-dragged him out the back door. After a brief rest, he did pee. (Ya!) After another brief rest, he ate and drank and took more tranqs. (Ya!)

On Saturday morning, Parker had another vet appointment. He was hobbling in on his three legs, all pathetic. He got as far as the lobby and stalled, as if he did not have another ounce of energy left in his doggy body. That is, until the resident cat walked by in front of him. He did a couple of lightning quick dives trying to get it, but only ended up with a face plant.

They decided to leave off his bandages because the skin was suffering from too much moisture and a lack of fresh air. So, he has his leg back, but is favoring it. We are to keep him tranquilized til his next appointment on Monday. He has a giant doggie cone collar on, but I was worried about him scratching his injury with his rear foot. My mom came up with an excellent idea to put a sock on his back foot to reduce the damage. He was a little more himself today.

There is a good chance he might have to have a few stitches redone where the skin is necrotic. I am worried about how concentrated his urine is, but that could be because his water intake and trips outside are way down. He is eating and drinking and pooping and peeing though, so I will take those all as good signs.

My 2 month old son seems jealous of all the attention Parker is getting. So is Dave, my other dog. I am just exhausted from being a caretaker. The dog is on 9 pills a day right now. And we have to keep his wound clean and dry and put Aloe Vera Gel on part of it.

I was originally going to give potty-training my boy another try next week. I think it can wait a little longer. Oy.

I saw the squirrel in the backyard today. It could have just been the light or his coloring or that he had just scratched his licey, flea-bitten body, but to me it look like he had a scratch on is side. It would make me feel better about all this damage to Parker if I knew he had least took a little hide off that squirrel.

Watch out, squirrel. Remember…I have TWO dogs.

What did I do to myself?!

What did I do to myself?!

Disco Buddha

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There once was a chick who had a job where she got to enter fun and quirky items such as Itty Bitty Buddha kits into a computer database for future customers to purchase. Sometimes these items would find their way to her desk.

Itty Bitty Buddha Kit, by Running Press

Itty Bitty Buddha Kit, by Running Press

And sometimes an Itty Bitty Buddha just begs to bust out of his boring shrine and live it up with his homies!

Disco Buddha (customized)

Disco Buddha (customized)

When I looked at the plain old Buddha in his cardboard shrine box, I heard a song in my head that went “Disco Buddha, Disco Buddha…” [You have to sing it to the tune of Kool & The Gang’s “Jungle Boogie”. No, I am not old enough to know this song, but Buddha apparently is.]

But I knew he needed a tiny disco ball.

My dear, sweet co-worker Megan came through with one just the right size. And she didn’t even laugh at the reason I wanted it (much). Then Buddha needed some friends. Karl the pencil monkey and a Homies dog seemed to fit the bill. (I don’t know why Karl’s name is Karl. That is what the person who gave him to me told me that was his name.)

Disco Buddha also needed a poster for his wall. You probably can’t tell in the picture, but Disco Buddha is a Capricorn. (All the coolest people are.) He also loves sick days. (On the back of his shrine is a sticker that says “I [heart] answering my phone in a foreign accent”. But he keeps that one hidden, because it isn’t very PC (the blame for that actually should go on the company who manufactured the stickers!).

And, that is all Disco Buddha has told me. Hopefully no one will find this sacrilegious or anything. It can’t be any worse than Buddha banks or Buddha T-shirts. Disco Buddha just likes to be happy and spread the love.

Disco Buddha preferred sitting on my desk, but as I currently don’t have one, he has to reside, for now, in my kitchen.

Sing it!  “Disco Buddha, Disco Buddha, doodle-dee, doodle-dee…”

What I Learned This Week – 3/31/13 “Hoppy Easter!”

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Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

Absolutely LOVE this pic.   It is my current desktop on my puter.    Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

 

This week I learned that Jesus was a zombie.

That is the whole point of Easter, right?

Celebrating when Jesus rose up as his zombie self to prove their was undead life after death?

My family went to church this morning (Shhh, don’t tell my mother. She would highly disapprove.) We went because I found a super-cute Easter outfit for my son at Once Upon a Child. My mom always said “the only reason to get an Easter outfit is if you go to church.” So, if you look at it that way, it is kind of her fault.

We also went to see my asbestos friend and her family.

And because the church was having a potluck breakfast and Easter egg hunt. It would be my son’s first Easter egg hunt, in a relatively riot-free environment.

My husband didn’t realize they were going to have a regular service after. He ended up going in the nursery with my son and taking a nap (New job, screwed up schedule, remember?). I stayed to listen to the sermon for two reasons.

The first and biggest reason is that we usually attend the church events, but not Sunday service. And the few times a year we do attend Sunday services, the church either doesn’t collect an offering or collects it for some charity other than themselves. While that is nice, it doesn’t make good business sense. They need one of those drop boxes for donations. It would make them more susceptible to burglary, but I would give more often. So, I had to stay until they collected the offering.

The second is that it only seemed polite. Get breakfast and eggs and ditch? That didn’t seem nice. And my whole family came, it seemed like at least one of us should actually stay in the church area (I can’t remember what it is called) and listen to the sermon.

The pastor talked about how Jesus rose and stood right next to a chick he had known and she didn’t recognize him.

Um, maybe because he was a rotting re-animated corpse?

And, corpse or not, if he rose again, what happened to him then?

Did he just say “Hey dudes, I did it!” and disappear into colored vapor? Did someone have to exorcise him? Did they have to kill him again? Shoot him with a silver bullet? Cut off his head?

Inquiring minds want to know. My entire biblical education amounts to watching the Charlton Heston movie “The Ten Commandments.”

I tell you, my new enlightenment today on this old story makes it seem WAY more interesting and contemporary. Because, you know, the zombies are coming soon…

Photo: austinist.com

Photo: austinist.com