Category Archives: Entertainment Worship & Review

JEM is Truly Outrageous

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Jem is awesome. It is a cartoon rock’n’roll soap opera from the late 80’s. It has everything a pre-teen girl in the 80’s could have wanted: glamor, glitter, fashion, fame, exciting adventure, a boyfriend with purple hair and eyes to match. *sigh*

I remember I used to come home from school and watch Jem. A lot of days I would go over to my asbestos friend’s house to watch it with her. Although she was always grounded and not allowed to watch TV afterschool or have me over. (Her mother thought I was a bad influence. Maybe she is right. I did get my asbestos friend into blogging-hehehe.) I remember one time when her family’s floor model TV was dying. The whole picture showed up in one tiny strip across the center of the TV, maybe only two or three inches vertically. But we watched Jem on the distorted TV anyway.

Jem and Hannah Montana have a little in common. Both are series about pop stars with secret identities. Miley Stewart is to Hannah Montana as Jerrica Benton is to Jem. Jerrica turns into her rock star alter-ego Jem with the help of a hologram from super-computer Synergy. Jerrica had special earrings that allowed her to speak to Synergy whenever she needed. (By a total coincidence, I happen to own earrings that are very similar to Jem’s.) Jerrica as Jem gets her sister and foster sisters together and they start a band called Jem and The Holograms (get it?), in an effort to make money for Starlight Music which will in turn support the Starlight House, filled with foster girls. The Holograms are Aja, Shana, and Jerrica’s sister Kimber.

My “Jem-like” earrings


Every episode featured three mini music videos. Some of the songs are actually quite good. I used to tape them using my cassette recorder. Some were sung by Jem and The Holograms, some by their rival band, The Misfits. The Misfits are very bad. In many episodes, they literally are trying to kill Jem. My husband has seen bits of a few episodes and he is like “they would be so arrested for that.” But, somehow, they never are. The Misfits are made up of Pizzazz, Roxie, and Stormer. Stormer isn’t actually bad. She just has no backbone to think for herself, therefore she follows. Later, both bands would get an additional member.

All the Holograms know about Synergy and that Jerrica and Jem are one in the same. Too bad Jerrica’s boyfriend Rio doesn’t know. He is the long suffering Starlight House maintenance man, Hologram’s roadie, engineer, bodyguard, and Jem’s personal guardian angel. He doesn’t get paid enough. He deserves better. Rio is supposed to be Jerrica’s boyfriend, but then Jerrica as Jem is always hanging all over Rio, confusing him. Rio looks pretty much exactly like a Ken doll, but with purple hair. But it suits him. I am rewatching episodes on streaming Netflix now, and I do not think Jerrica ever tells him the truth about Jem. What a bitch.

Rio with Jerrica


I really liked in the third season when the writers added a third band. They were called “The Stingers” (bad name). They feature a male lead singer named Riot, along with rocker chicks named Minx and Rapture. It was nice to have more testosterone on the show, along with Rio and evil Misfit manager Eric Raymond, to balance out all the girl power. And it was nice to have some songs sung by a guy. Of course, Riot created love triangle with Rio and Jem. If you count Jerrica, that makes it a love square. The Stingers definitely were not good, but they weren’t always evil either like the Misfits. They sort of just played every situation to their advantage. Jerrica was such a goody-goody. Boring. Always keeping everything organized. Jem enjoyed the spotlight and let herself get swept away sometimes.

This was one of the cartoons of the 80s that Hasbro used to sell toys (Transformer, anyone?). I never bought any Jem dolls. Now I sort of wish I had. Although I remember them as not really looking like the cartoon characters that much. But that was the amazing thing. Although the writer, Christy Marx, was told to make a cartoon to sell a toy, she went way beyond that. She created Starlight Music, Starlight House, and all the various relationships between the interweaving characters. Even the Starlight Girls had a bit of screen-time and well-developed personalities and some back story. I am saying don’t dispell this as just a dumb fluffy cartoon. It has real heart and stories. (Just don’t keep count of how many times Rio has to rescue Jem from an avalanche;)

The fashions on the cartoon are so…80’s. I think the only way to really know what that means is to have lived through it. Stripes, polka-dots, ruffles, bows. Big, colorful hair. You name it. All on the same outfit. On the same person. The makeup is also crazy. Just random streaks of makeup across their cheeks, like little kids would do to dress up like an Indian for Halloween.

I liked how everyone’s nickname told their profession. Video made the videos. Danse danced in them. Techrat knew technology and had the personality of a rat.

How Synergy could create holograms around the world, I will never understand. Or how no one realized Jerrica & Jem were the same person. Apparently changing your hair from blond to pink is the equivalent of Superman removing his eye glasses. I mean, both women hung out with all the same friends. You would think that would be easy to figure out. Maybe Jerrica wasn’t a bitch, maybe Rio was just really dense. He also should have dumped Jerrica for never putting out.

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What I Learned This Week – 6/10/12

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I learned that “Being Human” (the U.S. version) is a really good show. It probably helped that my husband and I roared through the first season in like 48hrs due to my son having a cold and not wanting to sleep much. Unfortunately, we watched “Being Human” on streaming Netflix, and they do not yet have the second season available for viewing:( If you don’t know, it is the show about a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost who live together in a Boston house. It sounds like the beginning of a very lame joke, but the show was well-written, had action, humor, sex, and left me caring for the not-quite-human cast.

Suction-cup soap dish


I also learned this week that they sell suction-cup soap dishes. How long have these been around! Why didn’t anyone tell me! We moved into our house in 2004, which has a tub surround with no soap dishes built-in. For years we have been balancing the soap dish on the edge of the tub. I couldn’t buy a new soap dish, because new ones would not balance in the corner as well. And the new suction cup one we can put up high, so we don’t have to always bend over. And it has holes for self-draining! Which I love, because I use Dove bath soap, and it melts like nobody’s business when left sitting in water. Which happened frequently before.

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I dreamed I rode a skateboard

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The other night I dreamed I was riding a skateboard. Not doing any tricks, but just riding it down the sidewalk, feeling the wind rush past my face. I was going faster than I ever would dare in real life and very sure of myself that I would not fall off.

After I woke up, I kept thinking about the nice rush I got in the dream. Sort of like riding a bike, but in the dream it seemed like less work. I let my mind wander to what I would put on my skateboard if I could have a custom picture on it. This is what came into my head. Then I had to draw it to try to get it out of my head. It is sort of like Harajuku girl meets Punky Brewster, with a little bit of Cartman when the aliens make him sing because of the probe in his ass.

The skateboard design in my head


The only skateboard I have ever actually owned as a kid was a skinny red plastic one from Meijer. I liked it, but fell off it a lot. I never had one of these fancy wide wooden boards that the teenage boys have today. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I just might buy one to horse around on, just because of this dream. But I forget that I am old and the ground is harder than it used to be. And less forgiving. And that I would never have a picture this cool on my board.

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I like Hannah Montana

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I am 36 years old and I like Hannah Montana. Think of me what you will.

I can’t even pass off that my child is actually the one who likes the show. I have a son and he is only 18 months old. He doesn’t have much of an opinion on TV yet. And I have liked the show longer than that.

I heard about the show Hannah Montana long before I ever saw it. I do not have the Disney Channel. But I thought a show with Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter as a secret rock star sounded interesting. And I was under the false notion that she actually lived in Montana.

Then ABC started showing the series on Saturday Morning. It was goofy and simple and made me miss TV sitcoms of yore. Doesn’t every girl (everyone), deep down feel like they could be a rock star? I liked how at school, when she is just Miley Stewart hanging out with her friend Lily, they are losers. (I can totally relate to that.) It is refreshing that she gets both experiences. Although, if a teenager knew that they had a sure fire way to be more popular instantly, there is no way they could resist that. In the real world, Miley would surely have outed herself as Hannah in the pursuit of popularity.

Miley and Lily are supposed to be best friends. But if you watch the show and what they say and how they treat each other, they are very mean. It is meant to be funny, but it really isn’t. If my best friend treated me like that, I think I would find a new friend. Is the Disney Channel where today’s kids are learning to be mean to each other?

I own the Hannah Montana movie. (I may have used nefarious tactics to obtain it. But that is what my husband gets for signing us up for the Disney DVD club.) And the soundtrack. I enjoy spending an afternoon watching Miley rediscover her roots in Crowley Corners. The movie is nice because it has better writing, better production values, and a bigger budget than the regular TV series. I tend to like movies about teenage girls coming of age and young adult fiction anyways. It is what I am drawn to. I have experience in it. Just two decades ago. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t buying Hannah Montana merchandise. OK, maybe a musical toothbrush. It is not like I am drawn to TV stars who have their own unique style or anything.

ABC Saturday morning drove me nuts, because I believe they were only showing the same episodes from one season of the show. It drove me nuts knowing there were more stories I wasn’t seeing. I wasn’t seeing the kids grow up. After seeing the same episodes for like three years, I quit tuning in.

Recently, I found all four seasons of Hannah Montana on streaming Netflix. I got to see the final season where she reveals her true identity to the world. I got to see the pilot episode where Lily finds out her identity. Now I am trying to recap and watch all the episodes I still have not seen all these years. One problem: I am watching Jem at the same time. I am totally going to get my rock star secret identities all mixed up. Jem, Hannah Montana, Jerrica Benton, Miley Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Destiny Hope Cyrus. Will the real pop star please raise her hand?

More about Jem in a truly outrageous future post:)

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Things That I Wish Were Better Than They Actually Are

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Are you ever disappointed in something? You were so excited to see or get something, and then it was just a big letdown? Here are a few of my personal examples.

My number one example of this is the movie The Lake House, starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. I love me some Sandra Bullock (especially in Miss Congeniality, The Proposal, and of course, While You Were Sleeping). I love me some Keanu Reeves (Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Point Break). I love me some Sandra and Keanu together (Speed). I love me some romantic movie (Hope Floats, Sweet Home Alabama). But The Lake House? I always finish it with a big “Eh”. It just is never the movie that I wish it could be. I keep watching it, hoping it will turn out better next time. But it doesn’t. It even has a dog, which usually makes any movie better.

Maybe the Time Travel confuses me too much. Or maybe the leads lack the right chemistry? Or a bad director? Or the cover art on the DVD case is too teal? There is a chance that it is because I could never seriously believe Sandra Bullock as a doctor. I have some trouble believing her as a bitch in The Proposal. But she raps and gets to kiss Ryan Reynolds, so I let it slip.

I also feel this way every Monday when I watch the CW show Hart of Dixie. In my house, it is known as the bad doctor show.

I will say: Honey, I want to watch something at 9PM. But it is the bad doctor show.

Honey will say: Aw, that show with the female doctor. That is the only show you watch I really can’t stand.

So, why do I keep watching it, do you ask? Well, at first I thought it was because I was waiting for Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson) to come to her senses and quit pining over George and pick the wonderful (if hillbilly) Wade (Wilson Bethel). But then I realized Wade is way too good for Zoe. Zoe is rude to him like all the time. Then I thought I was watching it because Jamie Pressley is so good on there. Then I remember I am watching Jaime King doing a damn good Jamie Pressley impression. (Am I the only one who remembers when she went by James King and dated Kid Rock?) Then I thought maybe I was waiting for Zoe to leave town and the show could go on without her featuring the rest of the quirky cast going about their daily Bluebell business. But, then I realized the truth. Being that the show was created by Josh Swartz and Stephanie Savage (of The O.C. fame) and stars Bilson, I am just waiting for her to snap in one episode and turn back into Summer Roberts, the character she played on The O.C.

Yes, I have trouble letting go.

That leaves me to my third major repeated disappointment. Hello Kitty licensed products. Just the sight of Hello Kitty’s face brings a smile to my face. It lifts me up on a low day. So, I feel like if I surround myself with Sanrio products featuring her image, that I will be a happier person living a happier life. Except that Sanrio licenses her image to horrible manufacturers! After I had a Hello Kitty sandwich maker that was useless due to the absence of a floating hinge, I made a new life rule never to buy anything else with Hello Kitty’s image. If I can help it. Most recently I slipped and bought a Hello Kitty soap dispenser. As it didn’t have a barcode on it, I believe Meijer incorrectly gave me a deal on it. I figured “How wrong can you go designing a liquid soap dispenser?” It turns out it is rounded on the bottom. Oy. On the bright side, they say we shouldn’t use anti-bacterial soap because it will create super bugs. I told my asbestos friend that I was pretty sure the pink, glittery, bubble-gum scented soap that comes out of Hello Kitty isn’t anti-bacterial. Her comment? “It probably isn’t even soap!”

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