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Finally revealed! My awesome Halloween costume!

Parts of this image may have been altered after photographamatation. If I owned PhotoShop, I would have made myself skinnier as well.

JEM from Jem & The Holograms!!!

(Why is it when I come up with a costume idea, I always forget I wear glasses and it will look uber-dorky wearing them? *sigh*)

Why am I wearing extra layers of clothing? Because it is Michigan and it is frickin’ freezing!

Also, see pictures of my ultra-creepy husband…

I begged him not to buy this mask. It is truly creepy. Actually, the mask isn’t. I think it is the fact that you can see his eyeballs and nothing else that makes it so creepy–the LACK of facial expression of any kind.

And my darling puppy…Oops, I mean boy;)

He was a super-good trooper all night and got lots of candy to show for it.

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A Few of My Fav 80’s Pix (Fashion Extravaganza…or lack thereof)

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I guess I am glad I grew up in the 1980’s. It gave me a chance to wear some truly bright and strange clothes. I still got teased for wearing them. But I still think I looked good.

Here is a picture of my asbestos friend and I at a school dance. We must have been dancing hard because we look a little sweaty and gross. I look at this picture and think “No wonder no boys wanted to kiss me. I look like I’m eight years old!” And yes, I am wearing my Wild Puffalumps shirt that I got from the Kool-Aid Wacky Warehouse. I wonder if that still exists?

Two hot chicks at the middle school Beach Party Dance. 5/20/1988

This is my favorite 80’s outfit. I have never gotten to make my own tie-dyed shirt (I am lacking in so many essential life experiences). This shirt from Hill’s (the 80’s palace of pre-teen low-budget sub-standard style) was as close as I came. I am also wearing my jean skirt–everyone was required to have one. Notice how I am not just wearing 2 socks on each foot, but one foot has yellow/pink, and the other has pink/yellow. Ya, I knew how to rock it.

My favorite 80’s outift

This is my second favorite 80’s outfit. It was very colorful. And I was very into the color fuschia/magenta at the time. Notice the fake suspenders, where both ends are attached to the shirt. The jeans had multi-colored patches on them. (My mom didn’t put them on, they came that way. I know, stylish.) I think there were 3 patches in all, but only two can be seen in the picture.

My second favorite 80’s outfit

I told my husband “This is what teenage girls do when they don’t have boyfriends and they are at home bored.” He said, “What, masterbate?” I replied, “Well, that too. But they also put lots of hair spray and make-up on to see how awesome they can look.”

Maybe I was going for the Pizzaz from Jem & The Holograms look? Notice the Kirk Cameron T-shirt. (Man, I was a nerd.)

Final and lastmost. The pride of the collection. I present to you, the hightest my bangs ever got. They would have gotten bigger…but then the 80’s ended:( This was a school picture. Yup, I rocked the necktie in a school picture. I still totally have that shirt. I wear it now and then and tell people it is over 20 years old. (They are unimpressed.)

School picture time. Whoa, can barely fit those bangs in the picture-NOT!

OK. That is all the embarrassment I can handle for one post. Remember folks, these are the pictures I CHOSE to share with the world. There are many others that will never see the light of the cybersphere.

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JEM is Truly Outrageous

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Jem is awesome. It is a cartoon rock’n’roll soap opera from the late 80’s. It has everything a pre-teen girl in the 80’s could have wanted: glamor, glitter, fashion, fame, exciting adventure, a boyfriend with purple hair and eyes to match. *sigh*

I remember I used to come home from school and watch Jem. A lot of days I would go over to my asbestos friend’s house to watch it with her. Although she was always grounded and not allowed to watch TV afterschool or have me over. (Her mother thought I was a bad influence. Maybe she is right. I did get my asbestos friend into blogging-hehehe.) I remember one time when her family’s floor model TV was dying. The whole picture showed up in one tiny strip across the center of the TV, maybe only two or three inches vertically. But we watched Jem on the distorted TV anyway.

Jem and Hannah Montana have a little in common. Both are series about pop stars with secret identities. Miley Stewart is to Hannah Montana as Jerrica Benton is to Jem. Jerrica turns into her rock star alter-ego Jem with the help of a hologram from super-computer Synergy. Jerrica had special earrings that allowed her to speak to Synergy whenever she needed. (By a total coincidence, I happen to own earrings that are very similar to Jem’s.) Jerrica as Jem gets her sister and foster sisters together and they start a band called Jem and The Holograms (get it?), in an effort to make money for Starlight Music which will in turn support the Starlight House, filled with foster girls. The Holograms are Aja, Shana, and Jerrica’s sister Kimber.

My “Jem-like” earrings

Every episode featured three mini music videos. Some of the songs are actually quite good. I used to tape them using my cassette recorder. Some were sung by Jem and The Holograms, some by their rival band, The Misfits. The Misfits are very bad. In many episodes, they literally are trying to kill Jem. My husband has seen bits of a few episodes and he is like “they would be so arrested for that.” But, somehow, they never are. The Misfits are made up of Pizzazz, Roxie, and Stormer. Stormer isn’t actually bad. She just has no backbone to think for herself, therefore she follows. Later, both bands would get an additional member.

All the Holograms know about Synergy and that Jerrica and Jem are one in the same. Too bad Jerrica’s boyfriend Rio doesn’t know. He is the long suffering Starlight House maintenance man, Hologram’s roadie, engineer, bodyguard, and Jem’s personal guardian angel. He doesn’t get paid enough. He deserves better. Rio is supposed to be Jerrica’s boyfriend, but then Jerrica as Jem is always hanging all over Rio, confusing him. Rio looks pretty much exactly like a Ken doll, but with purple hair. But it suits him. I am rewatching episodes on streaming Netflix now, and I do not think Jerrica ever tells him the truth about Jem. What a bitch.

Rio with Jerrica

I really liked in the third season when the writers added a third band. They were called “The Stingers” (bad name). They feature a male lead singer named Riot, along with rocker chicks named Minx and Rapture. It was nice to have more testosterone on the show, along with Rio and evil Misfit manager Eric Raymond, to balance out all the girl power. And it was nice to have some songs sung by a guy. Of course, Riot created love triangle with Rio and Jem. If you count Jerrica, that makes it a love square. The Stingers definitely were not good, but they weren’t always evil either like the Misfits. They sort of just played every situation to their advantage. Jerrica was such a goody-goody. Boring. Always keeping everything organized. Jem enjoyed the spotlight and let herself get swept away sometimes.

This was one of the cartoons of the 80s that Hasbro used to sell toys (Transformer, anyone?). I never bought any Jem dolls. Now I sort of wish I had. Although I remember them as not really looking like the cartoon characters that much. But that was the amazing thing. Although the writer, Christy Marx, was told to make a cartoon to sell a toy, she went way beyond that. She created Starlight Music, Starlight House, and all the various relationships between the interweaving characters. Even the Starlight Girls had a bit of screen-time and well-developed personalities and some back story. I am saying don’t dispell this as just a dumb fluffy cartoon. It has real heart and stories. (Just don’t keep count of how many times Rio has to rescue Jem from an avalanche;)

The fashions on the cartoon are so…80’s. I think the only way to really know what that means is to have lived through it. Stripes, polka-dots, ruffles, bows. Big, colorful hair. You name it. All on the same outfit. On the same person. The makeup is also crazy. Just random streaks of makeup across their cheeks, like little kids would do to dress up like an Indian for Halloween.

I liked how everyone’s nickname told their profession. Video made the videos. Danse danced in them. Techrat knew technology and had the personality of a rat.

How Synergy could create holograms around the world, I will never understand. Or how no one realized Jerrica & Jem were the same person. Apparently changing your hair from blond to pink is the equivalent of Superman removing his eye glasses. I mean, both women hung out with all the same friends. You would think that would be easy to figure out. Maybe Jerrica wasn’t a bitch, maybe Rio was just really dense. He also should have dumped Jerrica for never putting out.

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I like Hannah Montana

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I am 36 years old and I like Hannah Montana. Think of me what you will.

I can’t even pass off that my child is actually the one who likes the show. I have a son and he is only 18 months old. He doesn’t have much of an opinion on TV yet. And I have liked the show longer than that.

I heard about the show Hannah Montana long before I ever saw it. I do not have the Disney Channel. But I thought a show with Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter as a secret rock star sounded interesting. And I was under the false notion that she actually lived in Montana.

Then ABC started showing the series on Saturday Morning. It was goofy and simple and made me miss TV sitcoms of yore. Doesn’t every girl (everyone), deep down feel like they could be a rock star? I liked how at school, when she is just Miley Stewart hanging out with her friend Lily, they are losers. (I can totally relate to that.) It is refreshing that she gets both experiences. Although, if a teenager knew that they had a sure fire way to be more popular instantly, there is no way they could resist that. In the real world, Miley would surely have outed herself as Hannah in the pursuit of popularity.

Miley and Lily are supposed to be best friends. But if you watch the show and what they say and how they treat each other, they are very mean. It is meant to be funny, but it really isn’t. If my best friend treated me like that, I think I would find a new friend. Is the Disney Channel where today’s kids are learning to be mean to each other?

I own the Hannah Montana movie. (I may have used nefarious tactics to obtain it. But that is what my husband gets for signing us up for the Disney DVD club.) And the soundtrack. I enjoy spending an afternoon watching Miley rediscover her roots in Crowley Corners. The movie is nice because it has better writing, better production values, and a bigger budget than the regular TV series. I tend to like movies about teenage girls coming of age and young adult fiction anyways. It is what I am drawn to. I have experience in it. Just two decades ago. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t buying Hannah Montana merchandise. OK, maybe a musical toothbrush. It is not like I am drawn to TV stars who have their own unique style or anything.

ABC Saturday morning drove me nuts, because I believe they were only showing the same episodes from one season of the show. It drove me nuts knowing there were more stories I wasn’t seeing. I wasn’t seeing the kids grow up. After seeing the same episodes for like three years, I quit tuning in.

Recently, I found all four seasons of Hannah Montana on streaming Netflix. I got to see the final season where she reveals her true identity to the world. I got to see the pilot episode where Lily finds out her identity. Now I am trying to recap and watch all the episodes I still have not seen all these years. One problem: I am watching Jem at the same time. I am totally going to get my rock star secret identities all mixed up. Jem, Hannah Montana, Jerrica Benton, Miley Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Destiny Hope Cyrus. Will the real pop star please raise her hand?

More about Jem in a truly outrageous future post:)

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