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What I Learned This Week – 1/4/15

This week I learned that it feels good to reach a goal, and then to receive your reward for reaching said goal.

Per my blog post from August 18, 2013, I made a promise to myself that when I published my first book, I could get a cool “Writer” tatoo. And in the last few weeks, I did publish my first book “The Wind Could Blow a Bug” by Jennifer Friess (available everywhere on Amazon that good books are sold). I actually reached this goal a year later than I intended. But I promise you, the next one will not take that long.

So, here is the result.

New tattoos make me feel so bad ass...

New tattoos make me feel so bad ass…

To answer my asbestos friend, “Yes, I love it”.

And even if I were to stop tomorrow and never write another word again, I am a published author.

I have sold a few copies too. Woohoo!

 

My first book, The Wind Could Blow a Bug is NOW AVAILABLE!

Purchase as a Paperback or eBook on Amazon.com TODAY.

Blatant Product Endorsement: Aquaphor

Aquaphor is a great, fast-acting, healing ointment made by Eucerin.

Aquaphor Healing Ointment

Aquaphor Healing Ointment

I first discovered it when I got my second tattoo. My green-haired friend had always been told to use A&D ointment on her new tattoos, which is what I used on my first one. A&D healed everything up fine enough.

With my second tattoo, they offered to sell me this tiny white tub of ointment to use, called Aquaphor. I think it was like $5, which seemed like a lot at the time (but that is pretty much what it goes for in the store).

Aquaphor healed up my tattoo in record time! (It may have also helped that I didn’t wash the second one as often as I washed the first. Live and learn.) I think that first tube I had was “healing ointment.” I used it on everything until it was gone.

Aquaphor Baby

Aquaphor Baby

When that was gone, I had a baby, so I bought the Aquaphor baby variety, found in the baby aisle. It heals up diaper rash the fastest of anything that I have found. If you ration it out, that tiny tube will get you a long way.

But I missed the freedom of using it on chapped lips as well. The formulas do not seem to vary in consistency at all. But I was worried that since it was intended for baby’s butts, it would be bad if I put it on my lips and accidentally ate some.

Aquaphor Lip Repair

Aquaphor Lip Repair

So the other day I bought the lip care version. We used it on my son’s chapped upper lip after a nasty cold first (oops), so now it is sort of only for him. But I have been using it on my uber-chapped hands at night, and I can tell an improvement in an hour or less. Of course, they get a lot of dog hair stuck to them in the mean time…

According to their website, Aquaphor can also be used for athletic blisters, chaffing, windburn, and saddle sores. I am not an athlete. I cannot vouch for those uses in anyway. It is also apparently good for post-cosmetic surgery. Um–ya. I haven’t gone there either. It is also used by many with eczema or tender, diabetic skin.

Aquaphor is free of fragrances, preservatives (oh, so I should mind the expiration date, then?), and dyes.

This is a great product, that I feel like very few people know about. Hence, the blog post. From reading up on this product to write this post, I already have someone new in mind to recommend this product to.

With the super cold weather of last week’s snowpocalypse behind us, I just wish I had posted this sooner! To help more people!

Stay moisturized!

Right Side Only

I’m weird.

My brain works in weird ways.

This should not be news to anyone who has read any of my blog posts. (If you haven’t, then what the f*ck are you waiting for!)

We have already established that I mismatch my socks.

YOU:  Why DON'T you match your sox?  MY REPLY:  Why SHOULD they match?

YOU: Why DON’T you match your sox? MY REPLY: Why SHOULD they match?

I wore jeans to my own wedding.

At certain points in time, I have had pink hair.

But I have another quirk as well…

I prefer to wear jewelery only on the right side of my body.

Now, I am right-handed. My mom says that right-handed people usually wear watches on their left wrists, so that they will not be in the way.

That doesn’t work for me. I can wear jewelry on my right hand or wrist without it bothering me. But if I wear jewelry on my left hand or wrist, it drives me crazy all day. I feel like I am being tied up and held prisoner. I just can’t stand it.

When I turned 18, I wanted to do something rebellious. Being a goody-goody, my desires never took me further than the ear piercing chair at the nearest mall. I already had my ears pierced, with the standard one hole in each of my two lobes. But I wanted to do something my mom would not approve of and get them double pierced (a second set of holes in my earlobes).

But to be even edgier and more different, I decided to just get one ear done. If you are keeping count, that means I would have three piercings total. Because of my aversion to jewelry on the left side of my body, I got it in my right ear. Now, I know, at least back in 1994, getting an ear pierced in one ear or the other had special meaning. If you got a single piercing in one ear as apposed to another, it might mean that you were gay. I had my reasons for getting it in the ear I did. I decided not to allow the external factors of the world affect my decision. Then again, I hope it wasn’t the gay side because at that time I was very much trying/hoping/praying to get a man into my life.

It was my first body modification to demonstrate to the world that I am not the complete goody-two-shoes that I seem. I hate that I look like a big giant geeky plain Jane, with my glasses and crooked teeth and nothing remarkable to speak of. (I AM INTERESTING, DAMMIT!) This is very important to me in my life. I would later get two tattoos as well for the same purpose.

I was worried about my mom’s reaction to my new earring. I wore my hair up, down, whatever. She may have colored my hair in that time. Six months, and she never said a thing. I figured she must have seen it, and just decided to say nothing.

Then one day she did notice. She was all mad–AFTER 6 MONTHS! Her discovery sort of lumped together with other unpleasant events at the time. I actually used that all as a jumping off point to write a story back then. I hope to release it in a short story collection someday.

FYI–I do not ever recommend getting a piercing done at an accessories store at the mall. My eighteen year old rebellious earring was done too close to the existing hole. (Although I guess it wasn’t too bad because I have kept it all these years.) Many years later I tried to get a cartilage piercing in my right ear as well at Icing. The piercing gun literally got stuck on my ear. Then the piercing never did heal up correctly. I ended up having to take the earring out and let it grow shut. There is still a small lump there where it was for such a short time. I think that is when I switched to tattoos.

God, I do love the feel of a needle through or against my skin.

Pain is sexy.

OK, where was I?

So, everyone in the Western World is probably asking the same question right now:

“Funnygurl2, what about your wedding ring?”

I will tell you the truth, that I wear it on my right hand every day. And I realize that society puts certain connotations on that as well. Screw society! I was up front with my husband about which hand I would wear it on before we were married, and he had no problem with that. And I am not a beauty who has to beat off other guys anyway, so he has nothing to worry about.

My right hand

My right hand

Occasionally, I will put my ring on my left hand.

For brief periods of time.

When I want to remember something.

You know, like the old “tie a string around your finger so that you will remember” type of thing. The ring annoys the Hell out of me, so I usually take care of whatever it is I needed to remember quickly.

Yes, it’s weird. I am weird.

But it is only after I began to embrace my weirdness that I have started at the very beginning of the path at being happy with myself. That could have started the day I got my third earring. I have learned by sharing my weird views on the world, I can often make others laugh. I REALLY LIKE to make others laugh (Note: Different from laughing AT me.). And now I think we have come full circle to my blog 😉

What I Learned This Week – 8/18/13

I learned that while both my husband and I being employed reduces financial stress (a little), a constantly changing schedule causes an increase in planning stress.

I realized I need to quit eating so much chocolate and move more.

I decided that when I reach my goal of getting my first book self-published by the end of the year, I am going to reward myself with a bitchin’ new tattoo.

And now I am off to eat a spoonful or two of Nutella and watch a romantic movie. Night-night everyone.

Tattoo writer lowercase

You Can Never Get Too Much Punky Brewster

Since I had almost no followers a year ago, most of you probably do not realize that I have previously blogged about Punky Brewster. (Clicking on the link will let you see my Punky-inspired tattoo.) I loved her growing up and spent quite a while dressing like her and buying assorted merchandise which I am sure made NBC quite rich and Soleil Moon Frye didn’t see a penny.

I now follow her on Facebook. It is very cool to get to see glimpses of her life now with her husband and two young daughters. I have learned that she really loves to take pictures of herself. Sometimes I try to pretend our lives have things in common. They really do not.

The other day I found this page from my scrapbook about my Punky-worshipping years. Enjoy. Please don’t laugh so hard your gut bursts open.

Yes, my scanner is small and I had to piece together 2 pictures.

For more Punky, please visit:

Ode to Punky Brewster https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2011/09/27/ode-to-punky-brewster/


My Life Philosophy (Sitcom Style) https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2012/09/18/my-life-philosophy-sitcom-style/

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

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