Tag Archives: humor

What I Learned This Week – 9/16/12


This week I learned that Ugly Betty is a really good show. I know it hasn’t aired since 2010, but I have been watching reruns every weekday. The writing is so good, the characters so catty, and the actors all just eat their rolls up. I am especially liking Becki Newton (the blond receptionist) lately, although she didn’t impress me much when I watched Ugly Betty during its prime time run.

Amanda (played by Becki Newton)


I must admit though, I am now in trouble.

I have discovered Ugly Betty is on streaming Netflix.

This is both good and bad. The good is that I can watch it at my convenience and not have to starve my son from 1-3PM M-F. But it allows for things like me watching four episodes yesterday. I am naughty.

Betty: Mark, I started a blog!
Mark: Oh, a blog…That is so six years ago.


I have also learned that Once Upon a Child is a great place to shop, but not so great to turn in items to. I left with the same high chair/swing and giant plastic toy I showed up with. My items were rejected, which left me feeling rejected as well.

I guess part of the problem is my delusion that I should be able to get back some of the value out of the expensive items I had to buy to set up house for my shorty. Technically, I used the high chair and/or swing every day for two years. I guess that MIGHT mean I got my value out of it.

Now the high chair/swing is out of my kitchen. But, it is still filling up my car. Doh.

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Remembering 9/11


In 2001, I was a gal with her own apartment, and a live-in boyfriend and his pet African Pygmy Hedgehog. (Don’t judge us, we were poor. And he claimed he was too young to get married…at 23 years old.) I worked at my job that was a 40 minute commute one way. I had been there for 2 years and didn’t like it much. (I told myself if I was there past 5 years, I would kill myself. I was there for 12 years…until they went bankrupt and out of business.)

11 years ago, to the same time of day, I was sitting in my cubicle, just settling in for a day of work. In an office you pretend to not hear everyone else around you, although you can totally hear everyone else around you. People started to talk about a plane crash. Now, I drove past the small Ann Arbor Municipal Airport every day on my way to work. I had just been past it not 10 minutes earlier. I didn’t see any plane crash, I thought to myself.

Then my curly-haired friend came over and told me that two airplanes had crashed into the World Trade Center.

“Is that in Chicago?” I asked. She replied they were in New York.

I went with her back to her cubicle because her computer had the Internet. (In my peon job, I was not trusted with the Internet until 2003.) A guy who was a military reservist at the time said that there had been a crash at the Pentagon as well. There were rumors of another plane that was headed for the Capitol, but had crashed before it reached its destination.

It seemed sort of exciting. Sort of drove me nuts that there was no TV to get any news from in the building. I went back to my desk to work. Then my boss and his boss came over and told me that if I felt uncomfortable with staying at work, I could go home.

“Hells ya!” Well, I didn’t say that, but that is how I felt. Like a child who had been told school would get out early because a devastating snow storm was on its way.

I tried to call my boyfriend on my cell phone on my way home. No service. Too many people calling each other.

When I got home, my boyfriend was of course asleep, being a 2nd shifter, and oblivious to the world events being broadcast on national television.

“Hey Honey. They let me out of work early because two airplanes hit the World Trade Center. Did you know that was in New York City? We have time before you go to work to go to Toledo. Let’s go to the pet store and pick me out a hamster. Wake up, let’s go.”

He looked at me bewildered and turned on the TV. He continued to watch television until he went to work. I didn’t get to go pick out my hamster until Saturday:(

This post may make it sound like I didn’t care about the September 11th attacks. I watched the television obsessively just like everyone else. After about two weeks of coverage, I got sort of depressed, like everyone else. Like everyone else, I moved on.

Live everyone else, when the eastern part of the country had a giant blackout in August of 2003, I assumed it was terrorist activity. It was not. But it did inconvenience us and our guests a little for our wedding rehearsal.

Bunke Lynn Elizabeth


I did get a hamster. She was orange and I named her Bunke. Did you know Golden Hamsters have a gestation period of 16 days? 14 days after I got my hamster, she had 8 babies. Just so you know, if I had gotten her on 9/11, I wouldn’t have had to find homes for 8 hamsters. (Becoming a grandmother can be really stressful.)

And there you have it. What I remember from the September 11, 2001 attacks. Remember, this blog is about my mildly entertaining random thoughts. If you want a history lesson, you will have to visit Wikipedia.

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Potty Training – The Saga Begins

My son, M, is now 21 months old. I have started to try to potty train him. So far, I have been highly unsuccessful.

He has his own little potty. He loves to take it apart (no surprise, see post Like Father, Like Son). I tried making him stay seated on it while I read him stories. I found when he got up off the potty is when he would actually pee-pee. In the corner, or next to the potty. Anywhere but in the potty.

Now M doesn’t want to sit on it. He wants to wander around the bathroom with no diaper on or sit on my lap (must be more comfy than the potty). While his baby butt is adorable, we really aren’t getting any closer to getting this done.

I have a theory. And since this is my first child and I have only potty-trained (i.e. housebroken) my Lab-Chow mix Dave, it really is just a random theory. I believe that to potty train a kid, they have to be old enough to understand what you are trying to accomplish. But I also believe you have to train them before they are old enough to decide not to do what you are asking of them, just to spite you. From the stories my mom tells, she makes it sound like I was the latter.

Plus, everyone says it is easier to potty train when you are at home to devote time to it. I am definitely at home with time right now. And fearing my unemployment will run out at the end of the year, I need to get him trained before I have to return to work. And I could wait longer to go to work if I didn’t have to spend money on diapers.

I feel like if I could get over this child development hurdle, it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Because I am a first time parent and I am just that naive. I haven’t gotten within spitting distance of the terrible twos or terrible threes yet. But the two things that worried me most before I ever got pregnant were changing diapers and potty-training. Hmmm. I sense a theme here.

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Why I Blog

I got the idea to write this post from a comment I left for Friffle Thoughts in response to her post “Are All Bloggers Writers?”:

I used to think I wanted to write fiction/novels/short stories as a career someday. Then I tried it and realized it was hard work, like every other job. I didn’t like that. I stopped.

But then I discovered blogging. Blogging to me is like the free-writing I used to do in high school English class. It is easy. It clears my mind. My “blogging voice” is exactly what runs through my head. And once I write it down, then I don’t have to hold that experience/memory in my head anymore (it is getting very crowded in there).

My real inspiration for my blog was Tina Fey’s book “Bossypants”. Afterall, it is really just a free-write of events in her life. And it sold millions!!!

FYI-I love your friffles of thought.

And to expand on that tiny little comment:

If I am in a writing mood (i.e. writing about a topic I am interested in and for my own enjoyment and not for, say, work), the words just flow to me. They just pour out of my head and through my hand onto the paper. I feel as though someone else writes through me. I get frustrated that I cannot write fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I would be a terrible writer of books. I usually believe that the first batch of words I capture on paper are the best and I do not like to edit them after (except fixing spelling and grammatical errors). In school, they always wanted you to have multiple drafts of big papers. Often all my drafts looked very similar.

Without realizing it, I often think in my head as though I am writing or telling a story to someone else. Often, I can think of a blog post in my head multiple times before I actually have the chance to write it down. When I do write it, it will be almost identical to the first time I ran the thought through my head. Yes, I like to write my posts out in long hand. I can type faster than writing, but then I get lots of typos and they slow me down and make me lose my train of thought. (I recommend Uni-Ball Jetstream 1.0 Bold pens. They flow quickly and thickly.) And I might not get to type it up for another month. And when I do, I can anticipate the next words or sentences while typing–because the words came out of my brain in the first place.

With blogging, there is also that delicious chance at the monster that is fame. Someone might read my blog. Anyone might read my blog. Someone who reads it might pass it on to another. A link might get posted somewhere else. My writing might get re-posted. Someone famous might read my blog. Someone in publishing might see and want to give me a book deal. Someone in news might see it and want to include me in a newscast. (Hey, it can happen. I take full credit for badly influencing my asbestos friend, lazyhippiemama, to begin blogging and she ended up on HuffPost Live!)

I am someone who has anxiety, but secretly yearns to be famous and known. I love the entertainment industry. I read Entertainment Weekly every week cover to cover. I went to college and studied Radio and TV Broadcasting. On radio, you can be heard by millions but hide behind the microphone. On television, you can hide behind the camera. On my blog, I can hide behind my computer screen. I can blur my face out in photos one week if I feel like being anonymous. The next week I can leave my face alone if I am feeling brave and confident in my writing and topic.

Most of all, I can get all these words and experiences out of my head! I am almost 37 years old and running out of room up there. I have trouble remembering anything, especially since I was pregnant and had my son. I thought not being able to hold a thought was just a “pregnancy” thing. But for me, it seems to be just a “parent” thing.

I used to watch the great sitcoms of the 80’s and always say “I could write that.” And except for the fact that I am too scared of big cities to move to L.A., I think I could have been good at that. I think it was my secret career dream. I should have listened the night it presented itself to me in a dream. In the dream, I was working with a group of people to create a new TV show. It was all last minute and came together very quickly (Yes. I am aware shows take years to develop and get on air–DREAM, remember?) So quickly, that when they put the show together, they wanted to give me a vanity card at the end, but I hadn’t created one. In the dream, I never knew they created one for me until I watched my first episode and saw it at the end. The other creators knew I liked to cross-stitch (I actually do in reality, but haven’t done it in years), so my vanity card was done in cross-stitch. If I ever knew what it said, I can’t remember. I have never forgotten that dream. And I know if I ever do create a series, that is what I will use.

An example of a simple cross-stitch

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What I Learned This Week – 8/19/12

I had a dream. A dream to take the cooking time out of bacon preparation. A dream to eliminate the walk to the back of the store for pre-cooked bacon in a box. My dream was to hang bacon right next to the beef jerky in a convenience store near you for easy, on-the-go snacking. I was mentally preparing myself to build this empire.

…Then I saw that Johnsonville had beaten me to it. Beaten me to my convenience junk food dream. And I found this out at the dollar store, no less! What a sense of disappointment, jealousy, and failure I now feel.

Damn you Johnsonville, for thinking of my idea before I did!


What I learned this week is that I am always a day late and a dollar short.

I’ve also learned that watching TV shows with the closed captioning turned on while on the TV Guide Channel can cause motion sickness. I like to watch Ugly Betty on the TV Guide Channel while my baby naps. But then the TV listings scroll vertically while the closed captioning scrolls horizontally. It makes me sort of seasick.

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