If First Impression Flaky, Look Deeper To Find The Gooey Sweet Center

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[If you clicked on this to post to find scrumptious pie recipes, you are out of luck. I have never made an entire pie from scratch in my life. Actually, that probably means you need to be sending me pie recipes. Just sayin’.]

I was baked in America, call me "Crescent"

I was baked in America, call me “Crescent”

My first impression of most woman in a work setting is that they are very intelligent, but kinda flaky.

Being a woman, I realize there is a very real possibility other people are viewing me this way as well.

This could be why we won’t have a female president any time soon.

Although no one probably would have predicted that in 2008 we would have elected a black president either.

What I am saying is, don’t take your money to Vegas and bet on my predictions. But, I digress.

I have talked to my husband about this. I think women just have a lot more going on in their heads than men do at any one given moment. And I used to think this was just how my brain worked.   That this was a sign I was going insane.  But through exact scientific research (i.e. Facebook e-card jokes), I am beginning to think it is actually a gender thing.

It sticks in your head, because it is true

It sticks in your head, because it is true

Sample Female Brain (mine – 5 seconds): I need to remember to DVR that show tonight in case my mom wants to watch it. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the diaper bag. I wonder if there are enough diapers in the house. I wonder if I used up all my diaper coupons. I wonder if Meijer has a diaper sale this week. I wonder if the sale is for the big boxes, or the even BIGGER boxes. Will my husband fall asleep and not get to work on time? What are we going to do about our conflicting schedules next Thursday? What if I accidentally touch that Hogweed plant I heard about on the news that causes blindness? Is Hogweed more or less scary than Lyme Disease? And are killer bees still the scariest of all?

[OK. My anxiety might have crept in at the end. But I think the quantity of thoughts is accurate, if not the actual content.]

Sample Male Brain (my husband’s – 5 seconds): I wonder how that clock works. Where is the screwdriver?

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

George always speaks the truth

George always speaks the truth

And I think this is why sometimes women come off as scatter-brained or flaky. Just because there is such a wealth of information racing through our heads, that it takes one extra second for the file hamster to grab the right index card of information while still running on the wheel in our brains.

We aren’t flaky because we can’t do the job, but we can do the job better because of it.

The File Hamster.  Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

The File Hamster. Working hard to keep you organized and in your right mind.

What I Learned This Week – 6/30/13

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Apparently, I learned a lot this week.

I learned that I might like the artist Colette Carr. I originally checked her out on YouTube because I saw a pic of her with multi-colored hair. I wanted to know what she sounded like. She is lots of autotune, but also very cute, has bright clothes, some snarky lyrics, and dancey beats. I like to think I looked like her in my 20s. I didn’t. I wish I still looked like her. Here is a cool song by her.
NOTE: Contains explicit language. (Like, all through the song, including the title.)

I also learned that I am not the only one who has thought all these years that Avril Lavigne and her lead guitarist should get together. I think I started thinking that when I watched an MTV day-in-the-life special about her. Avril and her guitarist, Evan Taubenfeld, seemed very snuggily and friendly and oh so cute together. Here is a link to a couple videos featuring them.
NOTE: Contains angsty pop lyrics.

I also added a new page to I’m not stalking you. It is called What I Support. I plan to add causes to it from time to time. I am sure there are more I forgot. It lets you know a little more about what mental and emotional place in the universe I am working from.

I learned at work there is something called a “Gold Star Award” that the manager can give out for employees who go ‘above and beyond’. Ever since, I have been consumed by thinking about how I could win one of those. I really miss Academic Awards ceremonies from when I was in high school. They made me feel like a rock star! (Well, not really. But it was nice to feel recognized for my achievements. “Rock star” just makes it sound more glamorous…) They had similar awards at the last place I worked. But when I started there were 1200 employees in the building! And I did not have a job that screamed ‘above and beyond’ potential. By the time the place got down to a third of that amount of employees, they had stopped giving out awards:( When the place closed, I was fortunate enough to provide a home for one of my favorite ex-boss’s awards. (While we were alike in many ways, he did not treasure his awards as I would. Just sayin’.) My current job doesn’t scream ‘above and beyond’ potential either, but I have lots of extra time to craft a way to try and make that happen.  And I have fewer employees to compete with.

Hand-me-down award

Hand-me-down award

I also learned that it is AWESOME to go spy on the filming of a movie. They were shooting a scene for Transformers 4 in my backyard (OK, actually 20 minutes down the road). My son and I went down and watched for about an hour before I had to go to work. Of course we weren’t able to get near the actual set. But we were able to stand across the road from where they were moving the cars in and out. I took lots of pictures. Here are a few.

Optimus Prime!

Optimus Prime!

I was told this was a Lamborghini

I was told this was a Lamborghini

Stunt man?

Stunt man?

The proof is on the rented truck...

The proof is on the rented truck…

This video is taken by someone I don’t know, but is way more awesome than any of the pictures I took. Enjoy.
NOTE: Bitchin’ explosions.

The Mall (A Poem)

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The Mall

I sit still
And the world rushes past me.
On my right, the people rush North.
On my left, the people rush South.
If I try to watch
I find myself spinning
spinning
dizzy
too many colors
too many faces
too many voices.
All I can do
is wait
until the rush stops
And then sneak away home.
-JLS
5/26/13

A Determined Dog Cannot Be Fenced

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My asbestos friend always laughs at me because I bought a house with a fenced in backyard, yet we at my house wage a constant battle to keep our two dogs in the yard.

It really isn’t funny.

STOP LAUGHING!

We got Dave in 2004. I think the first time she escaped was during the first week we had her. I left both the front and back doors to the garage open. Whoops. E. The back door is within the fence, the front is not. So she just walked right on through, and sniffed her way three houses down. I caught up to Dave just at the same moment a lady popped out her back door and gave me a funny look. “Just getting my dog,” I explained. Apparently that lady is still mad about that, as she brought it up to my sister-in-law last summer: eight years later!

Fugitive #1

Fugitive #1 – Dave

The next time, my husband left one of our three gates open. It was garbage night, so Dave wandered across the street to sniff the neighbor’s garbage. My husband had to chase her in his socks. Luckily, in both these early Dave incidents, she had her nose to the ground and was traveling at a pace very conducive to recovery.

Dave was great until…she would see the dog next door outside. Over the fence she would go. Or a dog passing by on the sidewalk. Or two. Or three. (We live in the city, on a very busy corner.) A four foot high chain-link fence, a 60lb dog. But she would just scale it in no time. We had to start putting her on a lead when she was outside unsupervised. We learned real quick that the collars with the plastic, snap-together closure are not meant for tie-outs. Also, we learned to change the tie-outs annually, before they could break on their own. Both of these incidents ended with Dave in the neighbor’s yard. Once they put their dog back in the house, she would stand there like “Wait, how do I get back into MY yard now?” Apparently, climbing a fence requires the appropriate motivation.

I contemplated buying some of that fence topping stuff they use on high school baseball fields. You know, it looks like plastic drainage pipe for a field? (Sorry. Maybe you only know that if you live in rural Michigan.) I went as far as going to a lumberyard to price it, but the salesman pretty much laughed at me and discouraged me. I think it would have worked too, because it would have been too wide for Dave to wrap her legs around and get a grip. But, in the end, old age seems to have been the best deterrent for that behavior.

Now, when we moved in, our backyard was fenced in, as I mentioned earlier in this post. But the back door was not.

“What?” you ask…

The previous owners added on a laundry room past the back door, which I am forever grateful for. But this made the backyard gate NEXT to the backdoor, instead of within it. It wasn’t a problem with Dave. She would just run around the corner to the backyard, no problem. Parker, we would hold on to his collar as he went around into the yard. Parker is a German Shorthaired Pointer and a real flight risk. Sometimes the gate still got left open and the dogs escaped.

Fugitive #2

Fugitive #2 – Parker

Well, just Parker.

If Parker got past the five nearest houses, it was impossible to catch him. Usually we had to wait for him to quit running, and stop at someone’s house. (I am sure he was looking for a couch to lay on.) The good samaritan would call us, and we would go pick him up. One time some high school kids found him and brought him back to our house. It was a cold, freezing rain night (that is when he chooses to run away 95% of the time). He was curled up in the backseat of their warm car and didn’t want to get out and go in the house. I could have strangled him. One time a couple brought him back, and he smelled like the woman’s perfume. He must have rubbed himself ALL OVER that poor woman to smell that strongly.

The only time we ever found Parker on our own once he left the immediate vicinity, he was running down the sidewalk. We followed him in the car. We clocked him doing 18mph. As my husband said, that was just “cruising speed”. One hot, summer day (part of the other 5%), Parker decided to take a dip in a nearby lake. Talk about a bad wet dog smell!

So, I was finally fed up. I measured and called to see how much it would be to get fence and another gate for the back door. I think it was about $350. I made sure I got a wide gate so that our back door could still be wheelchair accessible for my (other) sister-in-law.

The newest part of the fence, enclosing the backdoor.  See old fence restricting a toddler in the background.

The newest part of the fence, enclosing the backdoor. See old fence restricting a toddler in the background.

Best damn $350 I ever spent.

Totally worth it when the fence guy was backing out of the driveway and I let the dogs out. The concrete for the fence posts wasn’t even set yet. They ran into the backyard as usual. Parker peed, then ran at FULL SPEED up through the former gate (that was sitting open) and jumped on the new fence like “NOOOOOOOOOOO! What IS this thing blocking me!” I laughed so hard. He was even whimpering. It was great!

Space next to the garage with new fence

Space next to the garage with new fence

But, alas, Parker still found ways out. There was a small space next to the garage, a few feet wide. Parker would try to go there, so we would block it with a pallet. He would get past the pallet, to the old, rotten fence. He got past that. We put in a new section of fence, where the pallet used to be. Parker figured out he could crawl UNDER the back of the garage and escape beyond the fenced area. We had to block that “crawl space” with the leftover fence from the other barricade.

Barricade for under the garage. The remaining gap can still be seen to the right

Barricade for under the garage. The remaining gap can still be seen to the right

Where the house met the chain-link fence, there was a tiny gap. You wouldn’t think a 60lb Pointer could get his rib cage through there, but he did. There was another such gap where the chain-link and the wooden privacy fence came together. [Have you ever heard of a yard with SO MANY FENCES having so MANY dog escapes?] We put metal posts in both locations to block further escapes. The posts worked well until April 2, 2013, when Parker tried to impale himself on one [click here for more details].

The corner post that Parker injured himself on

The corner post that Parker injured himself on

Now, we are mostly fortified. I think.

Except there is still some open space under the garage. And the place where it looks like a dog head-butted the wooden fenced and warped the wood.

One day, I saw a Pointer run past my living room picture window and down the street. My heart instantly started to race.

Then I checked the couch.

It wasn’t my Pointer.

Good dog

Good dog

What I Learned This Week – 6/23/13

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This week I learned that my kid is naughty. Now, you are probably saying “Duh! He is 2.5 years old, of course he is naughty.” But I assure you, for 2 1/2 years old, he is actually very well behaved. He is less maintenance than my German Shorthair Pointer.

Several people have been babysitting for me lately, which I am eternally grateful for. In households with other kids, he blends in. I am sure he does a few naughty things, but he gets welcomed back, so it can’t be too bad.

At my mom’s house, he is the only child there. Therefore, he becomes the naughtiest kid in the house. Or rather, smallish apartment. With nothing to compare him to (except me 35 years ago when I was that age), my mom thinks she has her hands full. And she does. But I am sure there are other kids out there that would be way worse.

What else did I learn this week? Here is a great snickerdoodle recipe I got off of Facebook. I have made it twice now. Both times I think I should have baked it longer to have a more stiffer cookie. You make it. You be the judge.

 

My Snickerdoodle result

My Snickerdoodle result

Originally found at Lovin’ From The Oven
Visit original recipe here: http://lovintheoven.com/2010/03/even-better-snickerdoodle.html

An even better snickerdoodle!

Yield: 16-18 cookies

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter (1 stick), softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

For rolling:
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions

1. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugars with an electric mixer on high speed. Add the egg and vanilla and beat until smooth.
2. In another bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking soda, and cream of tartar.
3. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix well.
4. Preheat oven to 300 degrees while you let the dough rest for 30 to 60 minutes in the refrigerator.
5. In a small bowl, combine the sugar with the cinnamon for the topping.
6. Take about 2 1/2 tablespoons of the dough and roll it into a ball. Roll this dough in the cinnamon/sugar mixture and press it onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Repeat for the remaining cookies.
7. Bake the cookies for 12 to 14 minutes and no more. The cookies may seem undercooked, but will continue to develop after they are removed from the oven. When the cookies have cooled they should be soft and chewy in the middle.