I'm not stalking you.

Behind the Scenes: The Riley Sisters Series

Posted on November 30, 2016 by funnygurl2

I can’t wait to tell you about my next project. But before I go gung-ho on that, I had an idea for another Riley sisters post before I put them to bed. Not that I will stop talking about them completely, because (hopefully next month) they will still make up three out of four books I have available. But I thought this would be a nice way to bring a little closure to them by sharing some behind-the-scenes factoids.

The Wind Could Blow a Bug was always called that. I tried to rename it, but I couldn’t find anything else that fit better. And I really loved how the title came from the story, and was really the essence of it. People often comment on it, which gives me a great opportunity to explain it.
When You Least Expect It was first known as Kiley’s Turn. I had never intended for Miley or Kiley to be more than background characters in Bug, but then I wrote the scene where they go to the mall with Jane, and that started me wondering what their future lives might look like.
Be Careful What You Wish For was originally called Miley’s Muddle. My son is very into Thomas the tank engine, and there was a story called Milkshake Muddle, which is where I got the alliteration from. Imagine if Miley had been covered with a milkshake in her story? Her and that movie star Mark got down doing some pretty funky things. Who knows, maybe she did!
US223, that is mentioned in Bug, really exists. It is the main road through Lenawee County, Michigan. I have traveled on it almost every day of my life. I could drive that road in my sleep. My mother had to travel on it to give birth to me!

Actual road sign

Dave from Expect is really my dog. She is an orange Lab/Chow mix with lots of personality. I love her to pieces and when a dog showed up in my story, it just happened to be her. Note that that book is also dedicated to her. How many crazy authors dedicate a book to their dog? Probably only me.

My Dave dog

The worn orange counter at the convenience store really exists! I worked at a Mobil station while I was in college. I used to have to wipe down that counter every night. The store has gone through several ownership changes since then, but he counter remains. I am so happy that that store got to play such a big part in Expect.
Blake and Luke, workers for Travis’s catering company in Wish, were originally named Parker and Dave after my dogs. (I am really bad at coming up with names for characters.) I had already used them both previously, so they got renamed after popular country music singers, whose personalities fit the dialogue I had already written quite well.
The messenger bag I picture Jane carrying in Bug is the one that I had made to advertise my blog.

Official limited edition INSY messenger bag

Alva University was named in part after my dead dad.
I specifically named Travis’s cafe Taste of Travis because I thought it sounded really dirty. 😛
There is no such place as Oakley, Alabama. I made it up. But it lives on in my heart.

My version of Oakley.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
Be Careful What You Wish For – AVAILABLE NOW!
When You Least Expect It – THE CONTINUING ROMANCE!
The Wind Could Blow a Bug – WHERE IT ALL BEGAN!

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Posted in A day in the life, Unusual Poetry & Writing and tagged Alabama, author, Be Careful What You Wish For, book, Dave, Jane, Jennifer Friess, Kiley, Miley, Mobil, novel, Oakley, Parker, Perky Pantry, Riley, series, The Riley Sisters, The Wind Could Blow a Bug, US223, When You Least Expect It. Bookmark the permalink.

Just a Reminder

Posted on November 26, 2016 by funnygurl2

Just a reminder…

Are those three words that your boss sometimes says to you that grate on your nerves? Or that your father says lovingly before you step through the door and out into the big, bad world? Or a phone call from the American Red Cross letting you know there is a blood donation date coming up right in your neighborhood?

Well, this is none of those things.

This is just a reminder that these three boys have been missing six years to the day. And they are still missing.

Usually there is a small story on the local evening news. Several years ago, there was a vigil.

As of this morning, when I googled “missing Skelton brothers”, no recent news stories pop up. There have been no updates to their Facebook page. The website set up to help locate them no longer exists.

Nothing was ever put out into the media that there was reason to give up on the search, or give up hope that they are out there.

All I can say is it is a good thing the father who took them (and isn’t telling where they are) is behind bars for kidnapping, because otherwise his wife may have tortured him for the information by now. If he was my husband, I know I would have wanted to. If the worst is true and he killed them, he could at least have the decency to let everyone know where they are buried so that the rest of the family could have peace of mind.

How is it that easy to just make three human beings disappear into thin air?

I didn’t know these boys personally, but this time of year, on the anniversary of their disappearance, they are always close to my heart.

Kindly keep an eye out, would ya?

Original pictures with age progression. Six years is a long time.

Original pictures with age progressions released in 2015. Six years is a long time.

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Posted in A day in the life and tagged Alexander, Andrew, anniversary, brothers, disappearance, kidnapped, Michigan, missing, Morenci, persons, six, Skelton, Tanner, Thanksgiving. Bookmark the permalink.

There’s Definitely [Not] Something Wrong with Me.

Posted on November 16, 2016 by funnygurl2

My (wrinkly) shirt purchased from Media Play many centuries ago.

I bought this shirt years ago. I bought it at Media Play. They went out of business in 2006.

I saw this T-shirt in one of those clear plastic squares up on the wall. I searched and searched the rack below, but they did not have anymore. The last one was pressed into that display box. So, I did something very uncharacteristic of me. I actually went and ASKED AN ASSOCIATE to get it out so that I could buy it. It was a size way too big when I was actually beginning to eliminate some of my too large 80s shirts from my wardrobe. But I didn’t care. I HAD TO HAVE THAT SHIRT.

It may have been the first shirt I had that I didn’t want my mom to see me wear. (There are many more now. Not slutty, just advertising my writing or tattoos or the church I sometimes hang out at, all things she would have issue with.) I figured she would try to point out that there wasn’t something wrong with me. Which, how would she know, because she never has known the real me.

I wore it quite a bit over the years. More recently, I relegated it to being a sleep shirt mostly because it was such a large size that it was hard to layer under a long-sleeved shirt and a hoodie in the winter months. I count winter as September through May. (Yes, three layers, minimum. I will need to retire somewhere warmer and sunnier than Michigan.)

I intended to write a blog post about this shirt for a long time. The date of June 9, 2014 is on this photo in my computer. Although, for all I know, that could just be the last time I replaced my hard drive. I initially intended to write about how made-for-me it was, how true the statement was.

But something has happened to me recently. I don’t always think the same way I used to. And, well, I can’t write that post anymore.

Last year, about this time, a saying popped up in my head:

EMBRACE YOUR WEIRDNESS

And while I contemplated getting that tattooed on my wrist for a short time, I don’t think it is entirely accurate either.

Because while others think I’m weird, weirdness IS my normal.

Maybe it is everyone else (those who judge me) who have something wrong with them.

So now, I have moved on to:

Don’t write me nasty comments. This is just a pen & ink illustration, NOT an actual tattoo.

The symbols of a heart and an arrow, which to me represent “Love Yourself.” You may have even seen me use such a picture with the saying on a previous edition of my blog or a tweet. This is the latest tattoo I am contemplating, this time for the inside of my forearm. I would love it to be a daily reminder to do just that. But, alas, life is a very mental game and outside stimuli are very bad at reminding me of who I need to strive to be.

Being positive remains a daily battle.

I just have to remind myself that if I lose today, maybe I can still win tomorrow.

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Posted in A day in the life and tagged attitude, embrace your weirdness, law of attraction, Love Yourself, Media Play, personality, positive, self, self-esteem, Tshirt, wrong. Bookmark the permalink.

F*ck Ya, That’s My Dream

Posted on November 9, 2016 by funnygurl2

Ever since I was a little girl watching Laverne & Shirley and Punky Brewster, I have wanted to be a sitcom writer. I knew I could never be an actor, for various anxiety-related reasons. But the actors don’t choose (in most cases) what comes out of their mouths anyway. That is controlled by the writers. So, that is what I wanted to be.

I never really believed that that dream could come true. Recently, I have thought, “What the hell. I am going to believe that it could be a possibility. And things like when The Mindy Project began following me on Twitter for no apparent reason get my hopes up. What if they realize my genius?

I was losing faith that there would still be shows like that for me to write these days. In recent years, everything became a “reality” show (although I believe that they actually have writers too. Really real, right?) Now everything is a serialized horror anthology. Not my style at all.

Photo: Netflix

But then there is The Ranch on Netflix. It restores my faith in the half hour comedy with a little-drama-thrown-in-to-grow-the-characters format. Plus there are LOTS of swear words, which the 12-year-old boy that lives inside of me loves.

The premise is that professional football player Colt (Ashton Kutcher) returns home to the ranch to live and work with his goofy brother Rooster (Danny Masterson) and their grumpy father Beau (Sam Elliott). They spend lots of time with their hands up cows’ asses, and the rest of the time drinking. All the dialogue is very easy going and it just feels like Ashton and Danny showed up to hang out for the day. Ashton even looks like he might just wear his clothes from home. Then maybe Sam Elliott is just grumpy because he came in expecting to actually make a real TV show, although he seems in on it as well. It just seems like something I would love to be a part of.

One of the few occasions where Ashton Kutcher is not wearing a baseball hat.
Photo: Netflix

In the episode I watched today, the sexy weather girl Tanya Showers was giving the lottery results on the Bennetts’ television. All the men were hypnotized by her. “First reading the weather, now the numbers. Is there anything she can’t do?” My brain jumped ahead to the punchline before they got there. Maybe everyone’s would, but I like to think I have a talent for it. I relish the predictability.

But then the cliffhanger at the end of part (season?) two totally surprised me. I was actually mad at myself for not predicting it, because they did foreshadow it in the preceding episodes. But it was still good.

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Posted in A day in the life, Childhood Reminiscing, Entertainment Worship & Review and tagged Ashton Kutcher, comedy, Danny Masterson, drama, dream, law of attraction, Mindy Kaling, Netflix, positive, Sam Elliott, sitcom, The Ranch, thinking, writer. Bookmark the permalink.

Paint It Like It’s 1988: DIY Child’s Coat Rack

Posted on November 4, 2016 by funnygurl2

When we moved into our 100 year old house in 2004, there were already shelves and coat racks and key racks screwed into the walls. I eliminated the shelves that were in what we referred to as “the dog room” when it became “the nursery”. That is before it was the “man room.” They were white and wire and, in my opinion, ugly. I ripped out the one that was in what is now my son’s bedroom as well.

The coat rack and key rack by the back door I left untouched. We actually use the front door more than the back, so we always find ourselves walking to the back door to get our coat, then walking back to the front to leave. The keys that hang on the rack back there are ones we almost never use. The ones we need for cars and houses and our mothers’ houses we carry with us.

When we redid a bedroom upstairs for my son last year, we made him a cool train room [You can see it here: https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2015/08/05/ms-train-station-bedroom-my-new-upstairs/], complete with a coat rack that looks like a train sign. (We made a white one, he wanted the round yellow one. Le sigh.) It is great for his robe and baseball hats and such, but if we are leaving and I send him upstairs for a coat, he will get sidetracked and never make it back down again. The coat rack by the back door, while useful, was not very functional for a shorty like my almost six year old.

So, I came up with the idea that I needed to make him his own coat rack that he could reach downstairs. I was so fed up last spring, that I wandered into the local Habitat for Humanity Restore. (If you don’t know about these places and their treasure-trove of recycled goodies, look into it.) Twenty minutes later I walked out with an old oak board and enough hardware to handle coats for an army of children. I don’t remember the exact amount, but it seems like it was around $5 for my haul that day. I always intended to splatter-paint it with the leftover paint from my upstairs revitalization project, but never got to it all summer. With autumn’s cold mornings, it became necessary once again.

The completed board. The paint is still wet here.

So, one day I designated as “paint day”, my son and I went out in the front yard in our junky clothes and painted his proton pack for Halloween, as well as the board for this project.

My son did all the painting himself. He did an excellent job, even if it is slightly more paint than I myself would have used. He had fun. And it got done.

Manly husband with power tools doing installation. Ahr, ahr, ahr. Now, where did we leave those studs???

While I have my own drill and bits and hoped to do the whole project myself, I am a giant loser wuss woman and had to have my husband come in and save me to screw on the hardware and attach it to the wall. But I think it came out pretty sweet!

Finished product. Reminds me of a New Kids on the Block shirt that I used to own.

Now, if only my son would quit wearing his coats to school on cool mornings and then LEAVING THEM IN HIS LOCKER instead of bringing them home. His coat rack looks a little empty at the moment.

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Posted in A day in the life, UnProfessional Photography & Artwork and tagged 1980's, child, coat, DIY, do it yourself, Habitat for Humanity, handmade, homemade, organization, rack, recycle, reduce, Restore, reuse, upcycle. Bookmark the permalink.

I'm not stalking you.

Behind the Scenes: The Riley Sisters Series

Just a Reminder

There’s Definitely [Not] Something Wrong with Me.

F*ck Ya, That’s My Dream

Paint It Like It’s 1988: DIY Child’s Coat Rack

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