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What I Learned This Week – 5/24/15

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I was at McDonald’s with my family this week. I was merrily chewing away on my chicken nugget when I grabbed the fountain cup that I assumed was mine. I took a big swig to wash down the compressed mystery chicken meat and greasy batter (Delicious!), when I realized I had my husband’s cup.

This week I learned that iced tea tastes like I imagine garbage juice would taste.

You know, when all the liquid in the garbage settles to the bottom, but then a hole gets in the bag and it leaks out and is an unappealing brown color.

WEEK-Picky Eater

That is exactly what tea tasted like. I have never had it before, and can guarantee (barring another fast food mix-up) I will not have it ever again.

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Lunch Dessert

The other day my mother-in-law called me. I have to read the caller ID on my phone correctly, or else I think it is MY mother, and I answer my phone all aggravated. Our conversation went a little something like this:

MIL: Are you busy?
ME: No, just finishing up lunch.
MIL: Should I call you back later?
ME: Oh no, I’m just having lunch dessert.
MIL: You are having what?
ME: Lunch dessert.
MIL: What is that? (laughing)
ME: The sweet treat you eat after lunch.

Hey, if Taco Bell can create fourth meal, I can create lunch dessert. I can also get fat from eating lunch dessert. But I just can’t stop!

Am I having an unhealthy snack? No, it is just lunch dessert.

Can’t wait to eat those cookies til after dinner? Have them for lunch dessert.

My lunch was a piece of cake (literally!). Can I still have something else sweet for lunch dessert? Why certainly.

I had lunch dessert today, can I still have a dessert after dinner? Certainly!

Is there such a thing as breakfast dessert? Yes!

Unfortunately, all the sugar & calories of breakfast & breakfast dessert in one :(

Unfortunately, all the sugar & calories of breakfast & breakfast dessert in one foil packet 😦

Can you have breakfast dessert after eating Pop-Tarts for breakfast? Sorry, no. The sugar and calorie content in Pop-Tarts is just too high to allow that 😦

For more wacky unofficial dietary suggestions, visit my past posts*:

The Candy Bar Diet

Picky Eater

As Paula Deen was to butter, that may be how I am to sweets.

* Consult your doctor before doing anything a random blog post recommends.

Alternative To The Spork

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You might remember that a few months ago I wrote a moving blog post about that under appreciated little eating utensil known as the spork.

Well, my son has taken this to a whole new level.

Introducing, the Dino Fork!

My son, using a dinosaur tail to eat his food.  Inventive!

My son, using a dinosaur tail to eat his food. Inventive!

Ya, I know. My kid is an absolute genius!

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