Dirty Pop-Tarts

This started out as just an homage to Pop-Tarts. But then somehow it just turned dirty. I guess that is what happens when you have been writing smutty stories since 7th grade.  Maybe no one else will appreciate this poem, but it makes me laugh out loud each time I read it.

Dirty Pot-Tarts

Oh, Pop-Tarts
How I love you so
I want to hold you
And never let you go.
But you are still hot
from the toaster
So I scream and drop you
on my plate.
You are called “Pop”
Because you pop out of my toaster
You are called “Tart”
Because that was someone’s
original inspiration to invent you
And fill you with a fruit-like substance.

Cherry is my favorite flavor
And used the most for
advertising purposes.
An iconic image
pink frosty glaze
painted on top of a
cardboard-like crust
topped with red sprinkles
Filled in the center
with ooey-gooey
non-flavor specific
sweet goodness.
I devour you–
I can’t get enough
your fruit filling
glues the crust
into my teeth.
That nagging processed taste
fills my brain with sensations.

Some people will eat you out
of a vending machine
COLD.
Not me
I don’t want you that way.
I need you hot
gooey
hard & warm in my hand
Then in my mouth
so sticky sweet
a little salty too
And then it’s over
And I am not satisfied
You always leave me wanting…

–JLS 9/8/13

Deliciously lovable Pop-Tarts