It is summertime! The time for my husband to grill me up a delicious dinner while I hide inside from the swarms of mosquitoes. Now, you might remember from my previous posts that I am a picky eater.
Thus, you will never find any tomatoes on my burger–I would pick them off.
I wouldn’t stand for mushrooms.
Condiments such as mayo or mustard on my burger? Yuck.
Anything weird like feta or alfalfa sprouts or pineapple or olives is totally off the table.
No, my perfect burger has cheddar cheese–sharp cheddar is alright. American is barely passable, and usually only from McDonald’s. We are talking about home-made burgers here, preferably made on a grill (outdoor or the George–either is fine).
I like barbecue sauce on my burger. Yes, if I am somewhere else, ketchup will do. But, we are talking about my PERFECT burger here. I always use Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Barbecue Sauce. I put it on my bottom bun.
The Perfect Burger-In Progress
Then I need a white onion. I love onions. And raw, none of that sauteing business. I put a few rings or slivers on top of the barbecue sauce.
Next, the WELL DONE hamburger goes on top. Grade doesn’t matter, although a nice 80/20 usually does the trick. Years ago, before my husband was my husband, he and I found out that a bit of McCormick Grill Mates Montreal Steak seasoning mixed into the meat before cooking gives it a bit of a zing. Now I kind of miss the taste if we forget to throw some in.
The Perfect Burger
I top it off with the cheese over it, then the top bun. Some nice dill pickle chips with it. Yum!
That sounds so good, I think I will go make that for lunch right now.
If it is microwave hamburgers you are looking for, you do have a few choices still available in stores.
I had to go especially buy one to take a picture of for this post because, in the past, I kept eating them before I could get a picture.
Pita Cheeseburgers made by Kangaroo Brands, Inc. remind me a lot of MicroMagic burgers (I evaluated the cheeseburger variety for the sake of my hunger, and this post.) They still possess the microwave convenience that you enjoyed of yesteryear. I will warn you right off the bat you only get a half a burger per package. The burger is also quite thin, but this allows it to heat more evenly. It has a good fake-smoke taste. Since it comes in a pita, there is no bun to get overcooked. They are good to get your burger fix on, if you only want a half a burger. (I usually eat one for lunch, then supplement with chips or cookies.) If you are a big guy, you would definitely want to pack at least two into your lunch box.
They are good, but I must admit that the cheese-like substance on it that doesn’t melt in the microwave does disturb me.
Meijer Frozen Microwavable Cheeseburger
If you live where there is a Meijer store near you, you are in luck. Meijer had great frozen hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and chicken sandwiches. Great, ya know, considering it is a frozen, then microwaved highly processed burger.
What to do if that bothers you?
Put bacon on it!
Oh yes, they offer a bacon cheeseburger as well (Although the bacon does not come out of the microwave crispy:(
Nothing fancy here. They come on traditional sesame seed buns. and if you catch one of Meijer’s famous “10 for $10 and the 11th is FREE” sales, well, then that makes these burgers cheaper than pita burgers or McDonald’s–with the bonus that they will survive in your freezer for months! Perfect in case of an unanticipated zombie apocalypse.
Of course, there is always the option of White Castle frozen burgers. They satisfy my craving sometimes, but I feel like they are an acquired taste (READ AS: grease & onions).
Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy Fries
I believe the only major microwave french fries available right now are Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy Golden Fries. They are a good facsimile of the grease and cardboard taste of the old MicroMagic.
I knew of the burgers and fries listed above before I started this post. They are actually what made me nostaligic for the old MicroMagic of yesteryear. But I didn’t know of any companies currently selling microwaveable milkshakes in stores across the country. And even if there were, I do not think they would be as tempting to buy without the microwave fast food branded trifecta that MicroMagic represented.
Then I walked into the grocery store tonight and found this:
Right down the road at my local grocery store, I was able to assemble this:
Yum! Nostalgia (As close at it gets, anyway!)
I taste-tested the chocolate milkshakes. They were good. I erred on the side of less microwave time, so it was still thick. It wasn’t super creamy, but definitely hit the spot. Well, the half of the cup I managed to wrangle away from M, my two-and-a-half year old anyway.
I also found a company called Cold Cow Ice Cream that is apparently putting in freezer/microwave combo display units in convenience stores across the country to satisfy your need for sweet that cannot be satisfied with candy bars or the usual ice cream novelties found in party stores, or the ice cream store that is likely right next door or down the block. I am very glad they did not have one of these in my store when I worked there. I would have eaten one every day. There website has a “milkshake finder” option to find the space age milkshake vending contraption closest to you.
That is all for today.
Happy unhealthy snacking everyone!
I found this humorous how-to on YouTube.com. I thought I would share.
This is a new feature I am starting where I reminisce about old products that I do not want to be forgotten to the tunnels of time. Most of my first submissions will probably be food-related. There is nothing like the empty hole that is left behind in your kitchen when a delicious food product disappears from store shelves.
Do you remember MicroMagic frozen food? Because I do, very fondly.
Behold! The MicroMagic burger!
MicroMagic products first appeared in the frozen food section of stores in the 1980’s. There were MicroMagic hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken sandwiches, french fries, and three flavors of milkshakes.
It was a perfect trifecta of 1950’s car hop food: burger, fries, and milkshake. It was something you expected to see on the tray of Richie Cunningham’s car outside of Arnold’s on Happy Days (there were more external scenes during the first season or two of the show).
EXCEPT YOU PUT IT IN YOUR VERY 1980’S MICROWAVE OVEN!
It was like going to McDonald’s, without leaving your home.
There were several years of my life where my main food source was MicroMagic cheeseburgers. I bought them far more than any of the other products. I was a latchkey kid, so I would eat them before my mom got home from work, or for lunch during summer break. Sometimes I ate them for weekend lunches.
FYI–The ones I bought only had English on the packaging.
I liked the fries as well. They were sold in three packs. Two boxes of fries often counted as a meal for me.
I probably only had all three (burger, milkshake, fries) together probably once. The milkshakes were kind of a waste of money. I mean, it was a cup of ice cream that you put in the microwave to partially melt it. And I seem to remember it tasting a bit like ice milk. Although sometimes it was fun to eat the fries and chocolate milkshake together and dip the fries into the ice cream.
Chocolate was the only option for me.
While I remember them fondly and wish I could consume them again, I have to admit that they did not come out of my microwave at the height of quality. If I followed the package instructions, the burger would still be cold in the middle. So I always over-nuked it, which led to a hard top bun and the cheese melted off everywhere. But it tasted like a burger, complete with fake smoke flavor.
The fries came in a cardboard box that was lined with silver coating, so that they would attempt to get crisp. The fries could be soggy or over-crisp, depending on how long you cooked them. They were always kinda greasy.
Seeing as I was a middle school kid who wasn’t old enough to drive and had no fast food place in town to walk to, this was as good as it got.
I haven’t seen them on store shelves in years. I searched the Internet, but cannot seem to find out anything about what company used to make them. Some similar products exist today to give you a sense of how awesome they were. I will talk about that in my next post on Thursday.
I searched all over YouTube and found a few MicroMagic commercials for you. I will appologize now for making you crave a product that is no longer available.
I love the 80’s outfits!
I had a black hat like that girl!
100% Real American Cheese! (Whatever THAT means!)
[TV Trivia: The guy with the girl in the last commercial with the dark hair is probably actor David Kaufman. I remember him most from a show called Dweebs also starring Peter Scolari and Corey Feldman.]