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My Perfect Burger

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It is summertime! The time for my husband to grill me up a delicious dinner while I hide inside from the swarms of mosquitoes. Now, you might remember from my previous posts that I am a picky eater.

Thus, you will never find any tomatoes on my burger–I would pick them off.

I wouldn’t stand for mushrooms.

Condiments such as mayo or mustard on my burger? Yuck.

Anything weird like feta or alfalfa sprouts or pineapple or olives is totally off the table.

No, my perfect burger has cheddar cheese–sharp cheddar is alright. American is barely passable, and usually only from McDonald’s. We are talking about home-made burgers here, preferably made on a grill (outdoor or the George–either is fine).

I like barbecue sauce on my burger. Yes, if I am somewhere else, ketchup will do. But, we are talking about my PERFECT burger here. I always use Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Barbecue Sauce. I put it on my bottom bun.

The Perfect Burger-In Progress

The Perfect Burger-In Progress

Then I need a white onion. I love onions. And raw, none of that sauteing business. I put a few rings or slivers on top of the barbecue sauce.

Next, the WELL DONE hamburger goes on top. Grade doesn’t matter, although a nice 80/20 usually does the trick. Years ago, before my husband was my husband, he and I found out that a bit of McCormick Grill Mates Montreal Steak seasoning mixed into the meat before cooking gives it a bit of a zing. Now I kind of miss the taste if we forget to throw some in.

The Perfect Burger

The Perfect Burger

I top it off with the cheese over it, then the top bun. Some nice dill pickle chips with it. Yum!

That sounds so good, I think I will go make that for lunch right now.

Pro-Meat meme. Meat. It's what's for dinner...

Pro-Meat meme. Meat. It’s what’s for dinner…

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If You Miss The Days of MicroMagic, Try These

I wrote on Tuesday about how much I used to eat and enjoy MicroMagic products.

If it is microwave hamburgers you are looking for, you do have a few choices still available in stores.

I had to go especially buy one to take a picture of for this post because, in the past, I kept eating them before I could get a picture.

I had to go especially buy one to take a picture of for this post because, in the past, I kept eating them before I could get a picture.

Pita Cheeseburgers made by Kangaroo Brands, Inc. remind me a lot of MicroMagic burgers (I evaluated the cheeseburger variety for the sake of my hunger, and this post.) They still possess the microwave convenience that you enjoyed of yesteryear. I will warn you right off the bat you only get a half a burger per package. The burger is also quite thin, but this allows it to heat more evenly. It has a good fake-smoke taste. Since it comes in a pita, there is no bun to get overcooked. They are good to get your burger fix on, if you only want a half a burger. (I usually eat one for lunch, then supplement with chips or cookies.) If you are a big guy, you would definitely want to pack at least two into your lunch box.

They are good, but I must admit that the cheese-like substance on it that doesn’t melt in the microwave does disturb me.

Meijer Frozen Microwavable Cheeseburger

Meijer Frozen Microwavable Cheeseburger

If you live where there is a Meijer store near you, you are in luck. Meijer had great frozen hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and chicken sandwiches. Great, ya know, considering it is a frozen, then microwaved highly processed burger.

What to do if that bothers you?

Put bacon on it!

Oh yes, they offer a bacon cheeseburger as well (Although the bacon does not come out of the microwave crispy:(

Nothing fancy here. They come on traditional sesame seed buns. and if you catch one of Meijer’s famous “10 for $10 and the 11th is FREE” sales, well, then that makes these burgers cheaper than pita burgers or McDonald’s–with the bonus that they will survive in your freezer for months! Perfect in case of an unanticipated zombie apocalypse.

Of course, there is always the option of White Castle frozen burgers. They satisfy my craving sometimes, but I feel like they are an acquired taste (READ AS: grease & onions).

Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy Fries

Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy Fries

I believe the only major microwave french fries available right now are Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Easy Golden Fries.  They are a good facsimile of the grease and cardboard taste of the old MicroMagic.

I knew of the burgers and fries listed above before I started this post.  They are actually what made me nostaligic for the old MicroMagic of yesteryear.  But I didn’t know of any companies currently selling microwaveable milkshakes in stores across the country. And even if there were, I do not think they would be as tempting to buy without the microwave fast food branded trifecta that MicroMagic represented.

Then I walked into the grocery store tonight and found this:

Homemade Milk Shakes

Homemade Milk Shakes

I found Homemade Brand Microwave Milkshakes.

Right down the road at my local grocery store, I was able to assemble this:


Yum!   Nostalgia (As close at it gets, anyway!)

I taste-tested the chocolate milkshakes.  They were good.  I erred on the side of less microwave time, so it was still thick.  It wasn’t super creamy, but definitely hit the spot.  Well, the half of the cup I managed to wrangle away from M, my two-and-a-half year old anyway.

I also found a company called Cold Cow Ice Cream that is apparently putting in freezer/microwave combo display units in convenience stores across the country to satisfy your need for sweet that cannot be satisfied with candy bars or the usual ice cream novelties found in party stores, or the ice cream store that is likely right next door or down the block. I am very glad they did not have one of these in my store when I worked there. I would have eaten one every day. There website has a “milkshake finder” option to find the space age milkshake vending contraption closest to you.

That is all for today.

Happy unhealthy snacking everyone!

I found this humorous how-to on I thought I would share.

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