Category Archives: Childhood Reminiscing

I LOVE SPORKS!

It's  a spoon?  It's a fork?  No, it is AWESOME!

It’s a spoon? It’s a fork? No, it is AWESOME!

I love sporks!

I have ever since I went to a Tupperware party with my mom when I was like five years old and I got a long yellow spork as the “thanks-for-coming” freebie gift. I used it for years, especially to consume hard-to-eat dishes like Spaghetti O’s. It got discolored orange from all the tomato sauce.

Then, alas, one day it snapped in two. It was a very sad day:(

And so, except for the occassional Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner, I went sporkless for years. It was a hole that remained in my heart for a long time.

Then, around the time I got my own apartment, my mom found me some sporks!

They were yellow Pikachu sporks. They were meant to be a party supply for a children’s birthday party. I think the package came with eight. I hoarded them, only using two at a time. And they seemed to last forever.

Then, the toddler came along.

Ten year old disposable forks that have gone through the dishwasher, been put in the fridge, and multiple uses, just do not hold up to the destructive throw-down of a two-year old.

With only three remaining Pikachu’s left, I went on a mission for more sporks. I found the blue ones you see above in the camping area at Walmart (Usually I take this opportunity to boast about Meijer, but they let me down on my mission for sporks).

As I began to imagine the future of these brand new blue plastic sporks ending in breakage as well, I dreamed of a metal spork.

With a simple Google search, look what I turned up:

BEHOLD! The Titanium Spork! In trendy colors!

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork Photo: Amazon.com

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork
Photo: Amazon.com


http://www.amazon.com/Snow-Peak-Colored-Titanium-Utensil/dp/B004T2YPN8/ref=lh_ni_t?ie=UTF8&psc=1

So awesome! I must own one of these! And I love the reviews that say it also makes a great gift. Watch out, friends and family. Next Christmas will be SPORKTACULAR!

I also loved the reviews because, I realized for the first time, I AM NOT ALONE! There are other spork lovers out there!

From an Amazon review by EJ on the same page linked above:

“It’s a TITANIUM SPORK. If you can’t appreciate the glory of that, then I can’t think of anyting that I can say that would help.”

Oh, but upon further searching, check this spork out! It is called the “Apocalypspork”! It claims to be “flat wear that will last you through the apocalypse” and good to “ram through a zombie skull”.

Photo: americankami.com/swag.html
Head over there to purchase
(Note: I have never purchased from this website.)

My Tribute to GALAGA (Written By A Total Non-Gamer)

Photo: arcadeartlibrary.com

My all-time favorite video game in the whole wide world is GALAGA!

Thank you Namco for making the only video game that I can half-ass play!

I first discovered Galaga at the bowling alley just minutes from my house. I would follow my asbestos friend on her newspaper route. At the end of it, we would stop at the bowling alley and she would make the owner turn on the video games so we could play them. (She was always a bad influence on me, from day one!)  She would spend her paper route money there. As I had no paper route (and received no cut for assisting with hers), I would rape my piggy bank of quarters. I once shattered an adorable ceramic elephant bank in my haste to feed my video game needs.

Granted, this was a very short phase in my life. Having never had a gaming console in my house until I met my husband, I am not a huge video game fan (player, whatever). But the arcade games at the bowling alley were a nice dip into that world. There was Gauntlet, Centipede, and Donkey Kong, which I sucked at. I could play Pole Position (who couldn’t?), but I rarely ever qualified for the actual race. There was a karate game I could sort of play, where if you won a little girl would come out and kiss you. I dabbled with Pac-Man, but those ghosts are not nice.

While they occasionally rotated the games in and out, Galaga seemed to always be there. And that was good, because I could actually play it for a few minutes on the same quarter. I could routinely make it through the first two stages of play and the Challenging Stage (bonus round), before being completely killed. IT WAS AWESOME!

A totally uninteresting factoid: Galaga is the first (and one of very few) video games my mom has ever played.

One time when I was in middle school, my Grandma had flown down to visit my Uncle Jim in Florida.  My mom and I were supposed to pick her up from the airport when she came back.  But Grandma called and said her flight was delayed.  We really had no idea when it would arrive, so we went to the airport prepared to kill some time.

I got very excited when we got there and they had a Galaga machine. My mom let me play, and then I tried to help her play. After that, we checked out the (very small) airport some more, then we went to the restroom. As I was heading out the door of the restroom, I slammed right into someone hurriedly coming in. We collided so hard, that my hat fell off my head. Turned out, it was my Grandma (I don’t think she used the bathrooms on the airplane and with the delay and all, well….).

Photo: technabob.com

The next time I can remember encountering Galaga is when I was in college. As a Communications major with an emphasis in TV and Radio Broadcasting, I had to make a lot of media projects. Many of them required sound effects. The Communications department at my college did have a collection of very sad and badly worn sound effects CDs. But often someone else was using the one you wanted, or it was too scratched to work any longer.

I think when I complained about such things to my best friend, she though I was crazy (she was studying Art and Elementary Education). But, thank God, she was thoughtful enough to buy me my very own sound effect CD for my birthday. Then, all I had to do was base each project around the sound effects that I owned myself.

One of the categories on the CD was “video game”. Are you with me? Have you guessed? I found the sound effects on the CD very familiar. Then one day, I placed it as all the sound effects from my most favorite video game, Galaga! What are the chances?

Since then, I have owned Galaga in many different incarnations. Orginally, I played it as an arcade game. This is the absolute best because a shot is fired EVERY TIME you hit the button. If you can hit the button 180 times per minute, then you can shoot 180 shots! (In almost all other versions, this is a major handicap!) Of course, your arm will fall off afterwards. The joy stick makes it very easy to move your ship very fluidly, as if it is an extension of your own hand. And, this is where you can end up with “the claw” (As illustrated by Chandler Bing on Friends).

Click to play on YouTube.com

Click to play on YouTube.com

My husband bought me a Namco Museum disc for the PlayStation One. But then he took the PlayStation One apart and never put it back together again. This disc would of course also play on the PlayStation Two. But that was harder to get the game started on for someone not used to it. And these days, the PlayStation Two is almost never hooked up. I am pretty sure this disc gave you the ability to adjust how many lives you got and when you could obtain more. I am fairly sure this is the version I got my all-time high score on: 141,140.

Photo: melarky.com

At one point, I bought one of those joysticks with the game built right in, that you plug directly into your TV. But it proved to have poor picture quality. (I can’t imagine why.)

After we got a Wii, my husband was kind enough to purchase Galaga from the Nintendo online game store thingy. So, this is the easiest way for me to play it in this day and age. But, as I have mentioned before, it has a tick where it will not fire as often as you hit the button.

As you may have guessed, my hit/miss ratio, while displayed at the conclusion of your game, means nothing to me. I want to shoot-shoot-shoot, baby! Like a blind man at a shooting range! Like a man on Viagra at a sperm bank! Like a photographer at a triplets’ wedding!

Photo: www5.pcmag.com

I love this game because all you do is move your fighter left or right, and shoot. You don’t fly through space or have bombs come at you. They drop at you! Straight down! This game isn’t 3D. It is barely 2D. It is like a one dimensional game!

I love that the “alien ships” look like bugs. Bees, scorpions, dragonflies, etc. It makes me want to shoot and kill them sooo much more! The bees are the worst. They are the only ships that once they fly off the bottom of the screen, will circle back up and kill you from the bee-hind! In later levels, they also turn into scorpions that move quickly and have the same ability. I have a new technique I am applying–kill all the bees first! (It seems to be working quite well.)

If your white ship gets sucked up by the blue ship guy in his tractor beam, you can get it back if you are very careful. You can shoot the blue guy as he attacks you with your other ship. Then your ship will come back to you, and you will have a Double Fighter. (My husband finds this awesome.)

The Double Fighter is great to rack up bonus points during the Challenging Stages, because you are double-wide with more shooting width. But, the Double Fighter make you a double-wide target for the bombs and bugs during regular play. The Double Fighter is a dangerous scheme to play, losing more often than winning (like Double-Down in Blackjack).

As often as a bee comes up & “stings” you from behind or an arrow you never saw blows you up, there are the wonderful “bad programming” saves. At least once a game, a ship that should totally have killed you totally flies right through you and keeps going. When that happens, it is GREAT!

Photo: fc02.deviantart.net

As Galaga is a very old, classic arcade game, it has that charming, yet frustrating programming where the levels as you advance do not look all that different. The levels do, indeed, speed up on you. This is usually not a big problem for me, as I rarely advance that far. My husband finds it rather frustrating though.

And speaking of my husband and frustrating, when I play, he always wants to also. I get it, it is his game system, etc. But if we take turns, he plays for twice, sometimes three times as long as I do. This is because he is a better player than me and lives longer. Should I be penalized with limited playing time just because I don’t have the years of video game practice and eye/screen-hand/controller coordination that he has acquired? And how will I ever improve if I always have less game time? (Sorry, pet-peeve of mine.)

Galaga permeates in our modern culture. It was regularly seen in the background of the student lounge on The O.C. I was delighted to see it used in the credits for the movie Grandma’s Boy. Galaga was name-dropped on the TV series Lost.  I believe someone uses it as a TV production logo (vanity plate).  It continues to be available through the years on almost every gaming system.

I would love to get a T-shirt or baseball hat with the Galaga logo, to “represent”. Someday, when I win the lottery (WAIT! Make that TOMORROW when I win the lottery…), I am going to buy the upright arcade version. Brookstone sells a version for a mere $3,000. *sigh*

And after over 20 years of playing Galaga, what do I have to show for it? I can routinely make it through the first two stages of play and the challenging stage, and occasionally make it to the second challenging stage as well, before being completely killed;)

Alex: I’m not any of those guys, I’m just a kid from a trailer park…
Centauri: If that’s what you think, then that’s all you’ll ever be!

–The Last Starfighter (1984)

Rocky Mountain Christmas

To most, John Denver is a joke.

To me, he is the sound of Christmas.

When I was a kid, my mom had the record (large, round, vinyl black thing with grooves) Rocky Mountain Christmas by John Denver.  She played it every year at holiday time.  Christmas starts for me with the first few tinkling notes of Aspenglow.

Rocky Mountain Christmas by John Denver on CD & record, and John Denver: Christmas in Concert on CD

I would be happy if it was the only Christmas album I ever owned or played.

My mom didn’t own any other John Denver records.  My crazy friend knew that I liked this Christmas album, so then on mix tapes she would put other non-Christmas John Denver songs.  She didn’t understand.  It wasn’t so much that I liked John Denver, it was that I liked his voice with this collection of Christmas songs from this period of time.  From my childhood.

John Denver sings nice, straight-forward renditions of the classics: The Christmas Song, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, the seldom-heard Silver Bells, Away in a Manger, What Child Is This, Oh Holy Night (a spectacular version), and Silent Night.  There is no Mariah Carey warbling.

The original songs on the album are some of my favorites.  I already mentioned Aspenglow.   Christmas for Cowboys paints a wonderful musical picture of a lonely holiday on the snow-covered plains.  My husband likes Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas).  A Baby Just Like You is my favorite.  John Denver wrote it for his own son Zachary. I love to belt out “MERRY CHRISTMAS LITTLE ZACHARY!” at the top of my lungs.

I know, I’m weird.

Sometimes now I change it to be my sons’ name.

Inside cover of Rocky Mountain Christmas, featuring the lyrics to A Baby Just Like You (I used to love to look at the details of this picture when I was a kid)

Several years ago my mom bought the album on CD, so it was very nice to be able to listen to it again.  The problem was, we had only one copy that we shared.  (I have no idea why I never thought about burning a second copy.  Oh ya, because that would be illegal.;)

Last year I found my own copy of Rocky Mountain Christmas on CD.  I even found a concert version of the same songs.  My mom is very happy I am no longer hogging her CD.

I still don’t understand why none of the Christmas music radio stations play anything off this album.  They play other seldom-played artists.  They always need different artists singing the same 12 traditional songs.  And it would make me so happy.

A Christmas Together: John Denver & The Muppets – Also a nice album, but just not the same for me

I kept my mom’s record of Rocky Mountain Christmas all these years, even though there was no way to play it.

Last year, my husband and I picked up a Fisher Price children’s record player from the 80’s at a garage sale and a handful of records.

So, while I totally enjoy digital clarity, the ability to listen to it in my car, and load it on my iPod, I am playing the original record for my son as I write this.  Sure, it is scratchy from 37 years of use and improper storage and probably a pretty dull needle.  But it takes me right back to being a preschooler myself in my living room in our house in Riga, Michigan.  In the terrible 70’s clothes that my mom dressed me in.


When you listen to the CD, you don’t have to see his dorky appearance.

A Picture of Contrasts

I love this picture. Always have.

Just a couple of youngin’s walking down the street, up to no good.

This picture used to be on my bulletin board. Now it is in one of my special picture albums that does not conform to chronological order, as the rest of them do.

This is a picture of my asbestos friend and I walking down the street in front of my house while we were in high school. My mom shot it out our front door. My asbestos friend and I were probably heading from the small village grocery store back to her house. (I think she still stops at that store at least once a day, every day. I don’t know what she did when she lived 2,000 miles away in Arizona.)

To me, this has always been a picture of contrasts.

First of all, there is snow, but also puddles.

I am wearing a scarf, but no winter coat.

We are not children, but not yet adults.

We look like we are deeply engaged in conversation, when we were probably talking about nothing.

That isn’t true.  We were probably talking about boys.

I love this picture.  I love the purple boots I am wearing in the picture.

I still own that cream-colored hoodie and that scarf (I knew the hoodie was that old, but not the scarf.).  That hoodie can be found in the lower left of a picture in my post from April of 2012 called You Give Hoodies A Bad Name (https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2012/04/01/you-give-hoodies-a-bad-name/)

I look like I am almost skipping, probably just happy that someone stopped by and I got to leave the house for five minutes. At that time in my life, my friends were in sports, band, modeling, had boyfriends, etc. Me, well, I had television. An active imagination. Lots of markers to draw with. Ya, that was about it. My existence was pretty dull at that point.

But I don’t even mind that my mom secretly captured all that. It makes me yearn for more innocent days (but not boring days. Or high school. Or being sad, lonely, depressed, unloved, suicidal.)…ok, scratch “innocent days”.

It makes me yearn for my friend’s kid-free day, when we go roaming about as we please, willy-nilly, with no one to feed or take care of but ourselves.

Maybe what I see most in the picture is freedom. Freedom from school. Freedom from winter. From winter coats. From snow. Freedom to just be.

I Love Cheap Jewelry, But It Doesn’t Love Me

You would be correct to assume that a great number of these items are non-compliant.

I love cheap jewelry. You know, the stuff 12 year old girls buy featuring rainbows and sunshines and Hello Kitty. Bracelets, rings, earrings, especially necklaces. I love them all.

And life was all fine and dandy until I was in 10th grade. Then I got oozy ears.

Earrings I had worn on many occasions, for extended periods of time, were suddenly causing my ears to ooze yellow puss. It was gross. My mom took me to the doctor. I always remember that the doctor had a giant red bulbous nose (whose daughter incidentally has been my anesthesiologist on two occasions since then). I got the dreaded diagnosis: I had a nickel allergy.

Now, if you haven’t experienced this yourself or know anyone who has, you are probably just thinking of the U.S. currency coin in the amount of 5 cents, commonly known as a nickel. But nickel is in a surprising amount of items. Not surprising, if you realize that it is a cheap metal to add to other metals as filler. And for those who are allergic, it is an itchy nightmare.

The scientific name for nickel allergy is allergic contact dermatitis. I am guessing the cream the doctor gave me that day was some sort of corticosteroid, because it cleared that particular episode right up. Of course, I had to change my earrings. And overnight 95% of my earring collection I could no longer wear for fear of reaction. You can’t tell, but in my first drivers’ license picture I had oozy ear. The puss would literally drip off my earlobe, so I sat there dabbing at it as I took my written test at the DMV.

For a while (maybe a year?), I had had odd incidents that infrequently occurred of my upper lip being swelled up when I woke up in the morning. I figured it must be some sort of allergy, but I didn’t know what. I tried to trace it to some food I had eaten the day before, but no pattern emerged. After I found out about my nickel allergy, I realized that is what was wrong with my lip as well. I had one necklace, a souvenir from my gramma from Garden of the Gods. Every time I wore it, I sucked on the charm. Which was apparently made of my enemy nickel. Other women have to put collagen in their lips for the full look. All I need to so is rub some cheap jewelery on mine.

My Garden of the Gods Colorado necklace that triggered my first nickel allergy.

Then I noticed as I wore necklaces, the back and sides of my neck (where the chain touched my skin) would get irritated and itchy. I could no longer wear watches. Not because of the metal on the back of the face, but because of the metal in the buckle. One day I took a bike ride and I put my house keys in my sock as I usually would. By the time I got to my friends house, my ankle was already red and itchy and developing a rash.

Probably the worst time was when my glasses started to bother my face. I had metal frame glasses that sat on my nose. So, where they touched on either side of my nose, my face just turned to red itchy ooze. I learned I could put baby powder on it, and that would not only soak up the ooze, but also turn my bright red skin to a more normal pink. Imagine trying to study in college and all you want to do is claw your face off. I got to where if I was at home and wanted to watch TV, I would remove my glasses and just sit very close to screen. Someone suggested putting clear nail polish on the frames, maybe a layer between the metal and my face would stop it.

NOPE.

It did not stop the reaction and then where I had put the nail polish on the glasses it reacted and turned green. No wonder I never had any dates in college. I was quite the catch. Not.

When I went to get new glasses, I expressed this concern to the eye care professional helping me to pick out frames. Ones without nickel were so expensive that I let her talk me into ones with nickel, but she said the nose pads would keep them up off my face. Even though it looked as though there would be no direct contact, that pair irritated me as well. Now I go titanium all the way. It is worth whatever I have to pay for it.

You would be shocked at how tiny events in your day could lead to a rash. One afternoon I had like an hour between when I got home from college classes and when I needed to be at work. So, I pretty much took my winter coat off and fell over on the couch to sleep, using the coat as my pillow.

I go to work later, and someone asks me why I have a circle on the side of my head. I crawled up on the stainless steel sink to try to look at the side of my head in the mirror on the reusable fabric towel holder that hung above the sink. There it was. A perfect bright red circle with a pink hole in the center, roughly the size of a quarter. Like a rash donut (Yum?). I was befuddled, until I remembered the nap.

My coat had metal snaps with a plastic center.

At least it was on the side of my head, where it could be slightly obscured by my hair. It could have been worse. The bright red donut could have been in the middle of my forehead!

When I started my first real adult job, I went from standing for 8hrs a day to sitting for about 9 1/2hrs. Ya, it sucked. The good thing was, it was a casual work environment, so I got to wear jeans every day.

And then a new issue surfaced.

The metal snaps or buttons that make up jeans? Yep, you guessed it. Made with nickel. I would get a rash on my stomach right never my belly button (I ❤ Mom Jeans, remember?) I suffered that way for a while, before I got my BRILLIANT idea to put electrical tape over the metal buttons. It is sturdy, you can continue to use the button with only minimal addition of bulk, and it survives multiple washings (but not dryings:).

My husband bought me real diamond earrings from an actual jewelry store and I can’t wear them because they contain nickel. Boo to you Kay Jewelers.

Then I got a patent leather bracelet I loved. How to cover the back of the snaps? Electrical tape. I got a very awesomely goth dog collar at Hot Topic. I was careful to get one that snapped instead of buckled. The electrical tape trick was slightly less effective on that, as there were other metal studs on the outside. But it helped.

An Edward Cullen bookmark/bracelet purchased at a bookstore? Oh, that doesn’t give me any irritation at all. Seriously.  Go figure.

I was at a Good Charlotte concert on Halloween in Toledo, Ohio several years ago. I was trying to bounce with the kids around me who were like 10 years younger. My dog tag kept flying up and hitting me in the face. So I tucked it between my breasts (I was wearing a tank top). I even stopped to think,”This won’t give me a rash. It is my dad’s official WWII dog tag. They wouldn’t put nickel in that.” Oh, Uncle Sam, you did. I truly hope that is no longer the case, for the sake of all the poor soldiers with sensitive skin.

As bad as that rash was, the worst was a concert at an outdoor theater where it rained on my green-haired friend and I. If I was with anyone else, I probably would have sought out some rain-free shelter. But she wanted to walk around, so we did. In the pouring rain. And I had change in my front jeans pocket. I learned that night that, when that white lining of my pocket gets wet, I can get a nickel rash right through the pocket onto my thigh:( (Have I mentioned that quarters and dimes contain nickel as well?) *sigh*

So, that is my story. For anyone who has suddenly found out that they are allergic to nickel, here are a few tips:

1. Avoid nickel at all costs.

2. When you can’t avoid it, electrical tape makes a great barrier. It comes in a variety of colors.  Clear nail polish does not.

3. If you have an outbreak of rash, you can try to manage it with over the counter hydrocortizone cream and antihistamine.

4. Wikipedia says you can try cleaning the area directly after it comes in contact with nickel with soap and water and lemon juice or vinegar. [I have not tried this. I would love to know if it actually helps.]

5. Avon claims that all of their jewelry is nickel-free. In my limited experience, I have found this to be the case. (And sometimes they have Hello Kitty jewelry:)

6. Stop looking at the jewelery tables at craft shows (usually about 50% of the total booths) because you will never be able to wear that stuff again.

7. Transfer charms from chains that contain nickel to nickel-free chains or black rope.

8. If you wear glasses, buy titanium frames. Titanium is your best friend.