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Principles – I HAS DEM

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A year ago, I was desperate for a job. But even then, there were some things that turned me off to certain jobs.

I applied to many jobs that required a drug test. Only one actually was interested in me enough to want to send me for one. But, as I got a concrete job offer from a different business, I took the concrete job offer. The place requiring the test had not given me a job offer. I was just in a big cue with a bunch of other desperate applicants. Mostly, I did not want to take the drug test. Now, Lazy Hippie Mama will vouch for me, that I am the squeakiest clean girl out there. Actually, she laughs at me that I don’t want to take one. The test would not have found anything. But I don’t really want any job enough to give them my bodily fluids. Unless, say maybe Edward Cullen is looking for blood donors.

I feel the same way about being finger printed for a job. A background check on me would turn up nothing that I would need to hide. But, if in the future, I want to start committing crimes, I want to have that option open. I want my fingerprints to be some of those that have no match in the CSI database. (I also don’t want to get a library card–just another way the government can track you!)

It is like in high school when my favorite teacher asked me why I wasn’t going to join the school’s anti-drug program. He must have been curious. He knew I was a good kid, did my homework, co-editor of the school newspaper, of which he was the adviser. Aside from the obvious fact that it was a big phoney club full of students who most definitely did do drugs, I told him the truth: I told him that I wanted to keep my options open for illegal drug use in the future. I still have that viewpoint.

So, that brings me to the purpose of this post. I have never been big on dress codes, but realize that in some positions they are made a necessity by the management.

My manager wants me to wear…

Ugh.

I can’t even get the words out.

Matched socks.

Not only that, she wants them to be black!

YOU:  Why DON'T you match your sox?  MY REPLY:  Why SHOULD they match?

YOU: Why DON’T you match your sox? MY REPLY: Why SHOULD they match?

Now, when I was hired a year ago, I gladly agreed to wear black, closed-toe shoes with black pants and a work shirt. They never said anything about socks. There is nothing about socks in the employee handbook. At one point, my manager’s manager saw my socks, and we had a whole conversation about why I mismatch them. She never indicated that this was a bad thing. With new faces at the top of our local rung of the corporate ladder, we have now been instructed to wear black shirts under our work shirts, and black blazers over them. Now, mind you, we have to buy EVERYTHING but the work shirt ourselves. And if the minimum wage were to be raised to the value that the President of the United States has thrown around in the press since his State of the Union speech, I would stand to get a raise of over a dollar. I would be really upset about the blazer thing, if I did not already have one. And since I don’t have any black shirts without Twilight logos or characters on them, I had to buy one of those just to wear for work.

But this sock thing really irks me. Afterall, mismatched socks IS MY THANG! And, I mean, no one is probably even going to notice, as my pants meet the tops of my shoes. But I feel like there will be secret sock patrols out to catch me! I feel like I do my job pretty well. But part of me wonders if they would fire me over non-conforming socks.

THEY ARE SOCKS!

They are not like a ring in my nose or a tattoo on my forehead. Although, what would really be so wrong with those things either. Socks are a personal, private thing between a person’s feet and their shoes. Socks are like underwear. You wear them under your pants and shoes. I would not work at any job that tries to legislate my underpants and bra.

And if they did fire me over socks, it just might be worth it. I would still have my self respect. And imagine when I fill out future job applications. They will say “Reason for Leaving”, I could put “I wouldn’t wear black socks.” Some might see that as stubborn or not a team player. But some future employer might see it for the ridiculousness that it is.

One Degree of Twilight-Part 3

This man chased me across a stage.


This is my final installment in my three part Twilight blog extravaganza in honor of the final Twilight Saga movie, Breaking Dawn-Part 2, coming out this week. The story I’m about to tell you happened on Saturday, November 14, 2009. It was a week before New Moon, the second Twilight Saga movie was to hit theaters.

My asbestos friend and I, and her five year old daughter, all took a trip (about an hour) to Monroe, Michigan. I had heard that Peter Facinelli was to appear at the Frenchtown Square Mall. Facinelli, of course, plays the impossibly handsome and young Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the acting father of the Cullen clan of vampires.

Peter was due to arrive around noon. I believe we got there around 7:00AM. We were 30-50 people back from the door. I thought that was pretty darn good. As I remember, we ate snacks and played and talked and my friend’s daughter, MV, danced around. The line got so long it spread all the way in front of the mall, the Target attached to it, to the corner of the building.

When the mall opened, we got to go inside and wait like cattle being herded to the barn. The mall was having some sort of re-dedication ceremony, so there were a few chairs set up. We were so close to the front that we took turns sitting down in the chairs for a rest. When we looked back, the line went all the way back through half the mall, turned left down a hallway, and what we assumed (correctly) was right out the outside doors. The crowd was mostly teenagers, with some mothers there with their younger pre-teens.

The mall played music while we waited. They played “Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus. I sang along (I admit, I really like that song.). A few other girls did too. Then “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift came on. The whole freakin’ joint was singing along, way more so than with Miley’s song. That is when I realized the awesome power of The Swift. It was pretty moving sharing this experience and hearing all those voices unite as one.

Then Peter Facinelli showed up! He was way cuter in person than I had anticipated and looked much better with his natural dark hair than with the artificial blond of Carlisle. He spoke for a few minutes. Talked about how the money you paid to get his autograph or a picture with him was going to a good cause.

I was planning on paying for an autograph, but my asbestos friend was not. (What a great friend to have come all that way just to stand with me…and see PFach in person.) I had brought my hardcover Twilight book to get autographed. My thought process was, as I meet people from the film, I could have each one sign a different page in it. It would serve as my official Twilight autograph book. (As of November 2012, only one page is autographed:(

There was an organizer girl standing at the top of the stairs, seemingly guarding the stage from the hormone hoard awaiting their turn. She was the woman with all the power…or so she thought. See, my friend was like “Why don’t you take MV up with you onto the stage when you get your book signed?” I agreed. The organizer girl must have been the one to take my money too. She was like “Only one autograph, correct?” eyeing MV suspiciously. Surrrrrre, lady. Whatever you say. But Peter had other ideas.

I got up on the stage and I think Peter chatted with MV for a minute. She was shyly peeking over the table he was signing on. I think he asked her if she was a vampire and was going to bite him. He probably liked her outfit, because she was dressed up so darn cute that day. I got my autograph. We began to walk across the stage to the exit. Then it happened.

Peter Facinelli, movie star, chased me across the stage.

He wanted to know if MV wanted an autograph too.

Bingo. MV’s cuteness had worked like a charm. It helped that Peter had 3 little girls at home himself.

Of course, some might say he was chasing MV across the stage. That is now how I tell it.

So, we walked back over to the table and he used one of his pictures from the stack he had of Dr. Cullen and autographed it for her. And she was in love!

After that, she would go to school and tell them Peter Facinelli was her boyfriend. As other kids at the bus stop debated Team Edward or Team Jacob, she would declare she was Team Peter Facinelli.

The local paper, the Monroe Evening News (I am pretty sure there hasn’t been a “Morning News” for a number of years.), reported that an estimated 2,500 fans showed up to meet Peter that day. He stayed until 8:45PM to autograph for everyone who had waited. He had been scheduled to leave at 4:00PM.

I always worry about going to events like that how everything will work out—-parking, waiting, standing, eating, bathroom, etc. But usually it all works out pretty well. And if I am obsessed at the time with whatever it is I am attending (ex. 2008 Obama Campaign stop in Detroit, MI), that helps win out over the anxiety that would otherwise keep me away.

At the time I was a viewer of CNN.com/live’s webcast for 8 hrs every day. They had a call out for people to submit their Twilight-inspired photos and videos. I submitted my stuff, and someone from CNN contacted me about verifying the info. It got approved as part of their “iReport” series.

You can view it here: http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-358655

Maybe my blog will be chosen for media for release of the final movie. A girl can dream.

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Love of Twilight, Part 2-The Movies


The whole time I was reading and rereading Twilight, I was hoping for a movie. I am a much more visual person than a reader. It takes like six hours to read a book. I can watch a movie in two hours. My time is valuable to me. I also like the all-around viewing experience of the actors, costumes, special effects, music, and script. I like how they work together to provide you with a visceral reaction that no one element could give you on its own.

Twilight

I really enjoyed the movie Twilight. I have heard others repeatedly knock it. I don’t think a low-budget is a reason to knock a film. Although I have come to loathe the casting decision of Kristen Stewart as Bella. She doesn’t hold up on multiple viewings. I LOVED both the soundtrack and score from the first movie. I bought them both on CD. (Yes, I’m Old School.) Some good shots got relegated to the DVD deleted scenes, but it was good. My favorite parts are when Bella pictures Edward biting her, as if they were in a movie, and the beginning of the end credits with the Coldplay song and the black and white shots.

New Moon

When I first read New Moon, I hated it. After all, I was Team Edward and it was a book that Edward is only in about a third of. It is all Jacob and he is sooo annoying (in the book)! (Although Taylor Lautner is a fine actor.) But then I began to enjoy Bella’s pain and longing. My favorite part is when they are on the plane flying back from Italy and Bella just knows that Edward will leave her again, but she savors these moments together like a drowning man savors his oxygen.

I did like how in the movie they gave you a more fulfilling reason for Harry Clearwater’s death. In the books, Harry Clearwater is a close friend of Charlie’s , keeping him stocked in homemade fish fry. Harry is just suddenly snuffed out with a heart attack at a convenient plot transition. In the movie, Harry’s heart attack is brought upon my seeing and being confronted by Victoria the vampire. And right behind Charlie’s unsuspecting back. A very nice twist to add details to the bare-bones of the story the book tells.

“Edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way. So that’s what I did. I pretended, to make the moment sweeter.”

“I touched his face, too. I couldn’t stop myself, though I was afraid it would hurt me later, when I was alone again. He continued to kiss my hair, my forehead, my wrists…but never my lips, and that was good. After all, how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating? I’d lived through a lot that should have finished me in the last few days, but it didn’t make me feel strong. Instead, I felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatter me.”
– New Moon (Little, Brown and Co., Hachette, 2006)

And, of course, the movie cuts those scenes, those feeling of impending abandonment out altogether. And New Moon (the movie) has the most GOD AWFUL soundtrack! There are whole parts I have to mute when I watch it because the music is so horribly distracting. (Just before Edward leaves Bella in the forest and the spinning room are the worst.) So, while New Moon is my favorite book, it is my least favorite movie.

Eclipse

Eclipse is an OK movie. I love the part where Edward gets right in Jacob’s face after Jacob kissed Bella. I sooo want Edward and Jacob to kiss there. Then there is the awkward and obvious absence of one of the best Twi-universe quotes: “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” (I almost bought a shirt with that on it once. I totally should have. Where did I park that Time Machine…) It isn’t even in the DVD extras. Bummer. I liked that they beefed up Riley’s part.

Breaking Dawn-Part 1


Breaking Dawn-Part 1–> who paid how much for that to get a PG-13 rating? The birth scene makes it one of the most disturbing movies of all time. First you have Bella digitally emaciating (which I didn’t realize right away. I felt better when I realized it was not real, only a computer trick.). Then Edward is chewing open her uterus. Ew. Ew. Ugh. Then they show her bloody form following birth (which an actual O.B. pointed out in a print article was not nearly enough blood to be realistic!). There was not enough sex to balance out the gross factor. Although it is tame compared to what was in the book. They did a great job of cutting out lots of Jacob’s whining that was in the book. The wolves talking to each other in wolf form felt awkward, but that is how it is presented in the book.

Breaking Dawn-Part 2

I can’t wait for Breaking Dawn-Part 2. Although I did hear that Stephenie Meyer and Melissa Rosenberg (screenwriter) dreamed up something new for the final third of the film over dinner. (Entertainment Weekly, Aug 17/24,2012) That worries me a little. Will the Volturi be defeated with giant meatballs? I can’t spoil it, because I don’t know what it is.

It will be nice to see Jacob happy instead of mooning over Bella. And maybe the rest of the Cullen family will have more to do in this movie than just stand around like statues. (In some movies I have wondered if it was Elizabeth Reaser or a mannequin playing Esme.) I hope Edward and Bella’s cottage doesn’t look as lame in the movie as Stephenie Meyer describes it in the book. And Alice really needs to quit trying to dress up Bella. And will THIS be the movie where Alice gets spiky short hair as it is actually described in the books?

To tell you the truth, I got my son’s name from the Twilight books. (But it wasn’t because I am such a hard-core obsessed fan. It is just one of the few names my husband and I could agree on. Now you are all trying to remember a name that starts with “M”, aren’t you?) Come back Wednesday for my retelling of how Peter Facinelli chased me across a stage;)

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Love of Twilight, Part 1 – The Books


Due to the impending release of Breaking Dawn-Part 2 (and the end of a Twilight era), this is the first of three posts about my love of Twilight. This post focuses on the books.

I was supposed to have lunch with a former co-worker. It was September of 2007. She was excited that a book called Eclipse was coming out. It was by a chick named Stephenie Meyer. I had never heard of it or the author. My friend told me I must read the first book, Twilight.

The next day when we had lunch, she loaned me her copy of Twilight. I was magnetically drawn to it somehow. I got stuck in a construction zone on the way home, one notorious for a long wait. I knew from the back cover of Twilight that the girl falls in love with a vampire. (Thanks publishers, for spoiling the first 150 pages of the book.) I thought I would just look at the first few sentences while I sat in traffic. I think I read the first ten pages while crawling along at two miles per hour. (I know, bad me.) I was hooked.

When I got home I devoured the whole book. Within the week I would go to my local Waldenbooks (which of course no longer exists), and purchase the next two books, New Moon and Eclipse. I would finish reading them in the same week. I had never been so drawn into a book series before, except for Fearless.

Reading about Bella lusting after Edward across the lunch room was similar to my high school experience. I sat at the very far corner of the lunchroom from the boy that I thought was simply the dreamiest, but that had no idea I existed. The thought of if that boy had actually come up and talked to me, if he had driven me home too fast in his car. Agh! It left me twitter-pated.

I didn’t know who Edward or Bella were a week earlier. Now they had come to be my whole world. When I finished the three books, I started over again. Instead of my usual walk outdoors, I would hide in my car on my breaks at work to read it. I went a step further. I bought Twilight on audio book so that I could listen to it as I drove. (with a two hour daily commute, I got some good use out of those CDs.) I went from “never heard of it” to crazy obsessed overnight.

I have always considered myself Team Edward. In the books, Jacob is like the annoying younger brother I am glad I never had. But really thinking about it, I am too sensible a person. I hate change. If I were Bella, I would not be Team Edward or Team Jacob. I would be Team Mike Newton. Yup. Give me the normal human boy any day. At least you know what to expect with him. A little hand holding at the movies. Getting lucky after the prom. And Mike doesn’t have to worry about any super-human strength killing you at a climactic moment (Wait, did this post just turn into 50 Shades of Newton? I smell fan-fiction!).

Bella is so quick to assume that Jacob’s father, Billy Black, was never a werewolf. But what if he was? We never do hear how he ended up in a wheelchair. Freak shape-shifting accident, maybe? There would have been no Dr. Cullen around to re-break and set his bones if they had healed wrong after a bloodsucker incident. Even in a dream, Bella sees a wolf version of Billy Black:

“Rosalie, her hair swinging wet and golden down to the back of her knees, was lunging at an enormous wolf – it’s muzzle shot through with silver – that I instinctively recognized as Billy Black.”
– Eclipse (Little, Brown and Co., Hachette, 2007


I know some people aren’t Twilight people. But I was always drawn to young adult books anyway, especially about girls coming of age. And I realize that Stephenie Meyer isn’t a top-notch writer. That was part of it’s charm. It was like reading my asbestos friend’s writing in high school. (Except there were no hockey players. Hmmm…That could be that the Twi-universe is missing.) Meyer’s writing just felt comfortable to me in a way that I loved. I also loved that she came up with her characters and a whole chapter of Twilight (Chapter 13. Confessions) from a dream, as my dreams have given me many unfinished novel ideas.

I have read that fans have asked Stephenie Meyer how it affects Edward when Bella has her time of the month. (Ya, ew.) Stephenie answers that it is “dead” blood and Edward isn’t interested in it. A related, but different, question that always drives me nuts: Q. If the sight and smell of a drop of blood (in Science class) makes Bella faint, what the heck does she do for one week out of every month? Does Charlie have to scrape her up off the bathroom floor every time she has to change her feminine hygiene product and loses consciousness? What if an aversion to blood is her strongest strait that she carries with her into her new life as a vampire? She would end up an anorexic vampire.

When the fourth and final book, Breaking Dawn, was due out, the publisher started putting the first chapter at the end of Eclipse books. I stood at Walmart and read the whole first chapter while standing in front of their book section, so that I wouldn’t have to re-buy Eclipse. (And all I learned was that Edward sabotaged Bella’s beloved truck and Charlie didn’t shoot him.)

I decided to be one of those dorks who goes to the bookstore to buy Breaking Dawn at midnight the day it goes on sale. I had fun. And I went home and stayed up late reading it. I took a little nap. In the morning my husband asked me to go to the campground with him. And he was actually surprised that I turned him down in order to stay at home and read all day. Which I guess I deserved. It was probably the only time in my entire life that happened.

(Spoiler Alert: But if you haven’t read it by now, come on, you aren’t going to.) Throughout all the books I was eager, as Bella is, for her to become a vampire. It always seemed the inevitable end. That was almost the case in Twilight. After all, James did bite her. But, as a reader, I am very glad she was not turned until the final book. Because as soon as Bella becomes a vampire, I could no longer relate to her. I know it sounds crazy, but that is how deep her change affected me. Before she was clumsy Bella. Plain Bella. Worried Bella. Reckless Bella. In love Bella. Once she becomes a vampire, it was suddenly the same as reading about Frankenstein or Swamp Thing (Wolfman and Dracula were already taken.).

It ended alright. Probably the only way it could, with a happy ending. I am so glad we finally found out why Bella was immune to Edward’s abilities, and that she put her own new-found abilities to good use. I am also so glad that Charlie got to at least be clued in to a little of the supernatural that has been going on around him, right under his law enforcement nose. I also liked that he got some action.

Come back on Monday to read Love of Twilight, Part 2 – The Movies.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

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