I didn’t give a rat’s ass about my appearance for, oh, let’s say the last 5 years.
In 2009, I was like, “Well, I might get pregnant soon, so I won’t worry if I gain a few pounds.”
In 2010, I was all, “I’m pregnant. I’m tired. Why should I bother to gussy myself up.”
In 2011, I was like, “I have an infant. If I wear jewelry, he may rip it off. If I wear nice clothes, he may puke on them.”
In 2012, I was all, “I don’t have a job. When I leave the house, I have a tiny terrorist with me. Why bother to look good.”
Now I find myself in 2013. I have a job, albeit a part-time one. I have a uniform shirt I am required to wear there, and black pants. But I can still express my personality through my jewelry, shoes, and hair choices.
Problem is, all my clothes and jewelry are about 10-15 years old. Some is from my “I am in my 20’s and just discovered Goth” phase. Most of my clothes are from my pre-baby smaller boobs.
Oh, and I’m getting old. It used to be fun when people guessed my age and they guessed way too low. Now people are guessing closer to my actual age. I no likey that so well.
I miss my pink streaks. And I miss the hedgehog. But I don’t miss keeping a 10-speed bike behind my couch in a one-bedroom apartment.
When I started my job, I dyed my hair blond again. I started out blond as a child. In 6th grade I whined to my mom that I didn’t like how dark my hair had gotten. She bought me some hair color. So, from 6th grade through college, my mom dyed my hair blond for me every few months. It was blond in my wedding pictures. I experimented with pink and purple and red and black. Most recently I kept doing blond highlights, because they were not as time-sensitive to keep up. But I let them go when I got pregnant. I really like my hair blond again, and so does my husband. It is a pain to keep up with though. I even bought special shampoo to try to keep the color more vibrant longer and keep it moisture-filled.
And I keep reading in magazines how guys like “beach waves”. My hair is mostly on the straight side, only showing signs of curl when the humidity gets above 85%. I bought a weird curling iron contraption to try to give me the beachy look. I haven’t found time to try it yet, and am afraid it will dry out my colored hair.
Medieval torture device?
I have never had a very good skin care regimen. Dove soap is often my face cleaning product of choice. For a short time I tried the Cindy Crawford Meaningful Beauty products. I liked them, but found I was using less and less of them. Then they changed the moisturizer and added more SPF. I got a terrible skin rash and discontinued it’s use. It wasn’t long before I gave up buying the face wash as well.
A few months ago, I had to take my mom to the dermatologist for a skin rash thingy on her hand. They had lots of free samples in the office, so I grabbed them all. One I used and liked was CeraVe foaming facial cleaner. It leaves your face feeling weird after you wash it, but I think that is because it isn’t stripping every single last drop of oil from your skin. I have tried many moisturizers. Without wanting to get pricey, the best I have found is Lubriderm body lotion. It does the trick.
CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser
I bought myself 2 new watches the other day. This can be tricky, due to my intense nickel allergy. I also bought a new pair of earrings I haven’t had time to try yet. The saleswoman claimed they were nickel-free, but she may just get paid to say that. All my cool nickel-free jewelry I bought from Avon a few years ago is already tarnishing/losing color. Makes me kind of sad. I didn’t even hardly get to wear it much.
Other than a few new T-shirts and a few new pair of non-jean pants, I haven’t bought much. I have a desire to have a few clothes that aren’t jeans or T-shirts. But all that stuff just looks terrible on me. It just looks like I am playing dress up or wearing the clothes of someone’s grandma.
A new shirt I am proud of, with my non-jean pants, sucking in my stomach, wearing a leftover goth bracelet on a very humid day where my hair might do something–or not.
I have managed to score some new footwear, courtesy of thrift stores and garage sales. Unfortunately, most are not comfy enough to wear for a full day of work.
My sweet boots I scored at Goodwill
So, ya. My husband probably thinks I am a crazy, spendy mess. And I am. But I also may be going through a mid-life crisis. (I have low expectations about my own life expectancy.) When I was younger, I used to try to picture getting old. I could never picture myself older than 26. Ugh. I am 11 years past that now, quickly approaching 12.
Hopefully some of these things will make me look younger/feel more confident/not frighten small children. Time will tell.