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Wienermobile

This post will make you laugh, and it will make you cry.

My deep feelings about the Wienermobile are plenty. Let me share them with you now.

I never knew such a thing as the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile existed, until one night on the 11 o’clock news I saw it as the final 30 second special interest feature they always do before cutting away to the Tonight Show. As a devoted follower of all things weird and pop culture, I instantly fell in love.

I sent away to Oscar Mayer for an information pack about the Wienermobile. In those pre-Internet days, that is just how we did things. The packet was a folder full of stuff, containing an 8×10 glossy of the Wienermobile, along with historical facts, and of course a catalog of fine Oscar Mayer products for purchase.

First Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer

First Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer

Being a good little consumer, I totally ordered a Wienermobile shirt (it was one of my favorites for years), a Wienermobile Hot Wheel, and several wiener whistles, that I then continued to hand out to people who were important to me for years to come. (If you knew me in person, you would understand. Or at least you would smile to my face and laugh behind my back about it. That IS the polite thing to do, afterall*.)

Wiener Whistle

Wiener Whistle

I was instantly interested in how I could maybe one day get to drive the Wienermobile.  Unfortunately, it was a college internship thing.  At this time, I was only senior in high school.  So, I hung the picture on my bedroom wall and wore my shirt weekly.  (Can you guess that I was not popular in high school?  I was Sue Heck, from The Middle.  I was so oblivious, I didn’t even realize how unpopular I was.  Except I had glasses instead of braces.)  At this time, I may have also came up with my dream of Jennifer’s Wiener Hut.

Sue Heck from The Middle standing in front of a giant hot dog.  It is like this picture was MADE for this post!

Sue Heck from The Middle standing in front of a giant hot dog. It is like this picture was MADE for this post!

When I started college and majored in Communications, taking classes in Radio and TV Broadcasting, and minored in English-Writing, I thought that maybe those would be skills Oscar Mayer might find useful.  I thought that maybe if I had a Wienermobile internship for a summer, that then I could parlay that into an actual job at Oscar Mayer.  Wisconsin is not that different from Michigan.  Weather or culturally.  I could probably handle living there.  I like cows and cheese.

When I was a junior in college, I inquired again in writing to Oscar Mayer about how to become a hotdogger (what they call the people who drive the dog). They sent me another information packet (not quite as awesome as the one from 3 years before).  Incidentally, that was the 60th anniversary of the Wienermobile.  They informed me that the internship was only for graduating seniors.  So, I would still have to wait.

Second Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer

Second Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer (Yes, I DO save everything)

With either the first or second mailing, they had sent me a cassette tape with all the different versions of the Oscar Mayer weiner song on it.  Traditional, march, bossa nova, you name it, it was on there.  I even used the music (and some of my other memorabilia) to make a commercial for my TV Production class.

[My apologies to the college students who are displayed within. I am withholding their names to avoid any further embarrassment.]

The Wienermobile came to Toledo.  I was brave and drove down all by myself to go see it at the Lucas County Fairgrounds.  I took many pictures.  They wouldn’t let anyone go inside of it 😦

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile at Ned Skeldon Stadium

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile at Ned Skeldon Stadium

As I got closer to graduation, I wandered into the Career Center at the college once or twice.  It was useless.  Usually no one offered any help in there.  Once the adviser guy did talk to me, and admitted that they did not get many job postings for positions in the Communications area.  (Gee, thanks.  Glad I spent 4 years worth of money here so that you could tell me that now!)

On one of these trips in, I saw it…

The sign to apply for the Wienermobile Hotdogger interships that year!  The year of my impending graduation!

The bulletin that Adrian College posted (Note the incorrect spelling of Mayer!)

The bulletin that Adrian College posted (Note the incorrect spelling of Mayer!)

But F**K!  The deadline was just a few days away!

I had to type up a resume and cover letter and get it in the mail, pronto.  I am sure whatever I had for a resume at the time was pathetic, so I am sure I had to spend some time in the computer lab to revise it.  The computer lab that was always busy, because many students did not yet have their own desktop computers.  (Laptop?  What is a laptop?  A cell phone?  Only guys on Wall Street have those.  A smart phone?  Does not compute.)  I went to the post office and mailed it off priority 2-day mail, which I had never used before, because I wanted it to make it there by the deadline.

Then I worried and fretted that I had not made the deadline.  I never heard back from them.  Not even a rejection letter.  By the time summer came and they would have been starting their Wieneriffic journey, I knew I was not worthy of the wiener 😦  I would have missed my then boyfriend, now husband if they had chosen me.  But I think he would have understood.  And followed me to Wisconsin.

For years, I was bitter about not getting the internship.  I still am.  In July of 2011, I was laid off from my job of 12 years.  A year and a half later, I was still looking for a new job.  I had gotten pretty desperate by then, so I was applying to somewhat crazy jobs anyway.  Then I stumbled across the Hotdogger job.  Again!  But this time, it was not tied to anything about college.  There were no restrictions, so I applied again!

I knew I wouldn’t get it.  And I knew it was crazy, since I had a husband and small child at home who I really couldn’t leave to travel.  But I had to apply.  Again.

So I could feel rejected.  Again.

I always knew someday I would write a blog post about the Wienermobile.

But what spurred me to do it now?

THIS!

It is for only 8 hours, and there are other restrictions (click here for more info).

I HAVE ANOTHER SHOT!  And because I am a powerful manifester, I will continue to get shots until IT IS MINE!

You think my confidence is cocky?  I have a $2000 6 foot tall plush giraffe that I got for free in my house to prove that I CAN make my dreams come true.  That only took me 20 years.  And it only took me 20 years to get a dog.  Hmmm…and to get a Red Wings hockey jersey…

I see a pattern here.

This bodes well for me and the wiener.  And for getting a book published sometime soon.

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!

RELISH THEM! (hehehehehe)

Once again I am coming down to the wire, though.  If you want to enter as well, just tweet #tweet2lease by 2/7/14.  But please don’t, because I want to win.

But if you do, and you do win, please swing by my house for a ride.  That is all I really want…to have a ride in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

…and the Goodyear Blimp.  Obviously not at the same time though.

* “afterall” is one word in the funnygurl2 dictionary.

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11 responses »

  1. I have heard of some interesting dreams before, but this one is certainly the most unique and therefore the best. Too bad you’re not a kid dying of cancer. (Yep, I can have a twisted mind too.) 😉
    P.S. Love the relish pun!

    Reply
    • I actually didn’t realize how obsessed I was with it back then until I proof-read this post. That is what happens when you are a young girl with no boyfriend. You become obsessed with wieners. (No, wait. I didn’t mean it like that….)

      Reply
      • Haha! I was obsessed with Pearl Jam in h.s. I could totally write a post about how well THAT was received. You’d think it would make me cool, but no, it didn’t. Just like you’d think your weinermobile would make you cool…. 🙂

  2. This is by far, one of my favorite posts of yours! Love the video. I so hope you win! Every time I see anything related to Oscar Meyer (since I learned of your dream months ago) I think of you.

    Oh yeah, I love puns! Include them more often please. 😀

    Reply
    • It is one of my favorites too. Imagine how much better it would be if I hadn’t hastily written it!

      The Wienermobile literature is loaded with puns. I was just trying to ketchup 😉

      Can you believe I just used the phrase “Wienermobile literature”?

      Heavily processed meat products make you think of me? Aw, thanks. I can’t imagine a bigger compliment 🙂 (Or condiment?)

      Reply
  3. I’m not sure I could bear the excitement of you winning this. I would be so freaking happy for you it just might make my head explode. 😉

    Reply
    • The odds have to totally be against me. But the prize does include the ride and a $500 prize. So, I would be getting paid to ride in the Wienermobile, which is technically the dream….

      Reply
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