Photo: YouTube.com
This week I learned that while my husband and I are both working for the first time since our son, M, was born 2 1/2 years ago, our living conditions at home are deteriorating.
Thursday from 10PM on played out like a painful sitcom episode. My husband and I both arrived at our wonderful babysitter’s house, having both worked for 8 hours. This was a miscommunication, because my husband’s job is 10 minutes from the sitter. My job? An hour. We were all starving (I assure you, the babysitter did feed my child. But his schedule is so far out of whack, that he now eats fourth meal on a regular basis.). So, I sent the husband home with the kid and to let the dogs out (who had been left an hour beyond their expected bathroom limits), while I headed off to the McDonald’s all-night drive through to buy a randomly-selected number of double cheeseburgers.
I arrived home, walked in the back door, and felt something stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I looked to discover it was dog poop. I cursed the dogs for pooping right outside the back door (I had not walked through the yard). I continued further into the kitchen for paper towels, only to discover that I had poop on both my shoes. And that is was actually diarrhea inside the back door on the laundry room floor.
My husband left my unhappy, thirsty, hungry son on the couch while we worked to get the mess cleaned up and the starving dogs fed (A rug was completely discarded in the process). We did manage to eat our dinner, although my son kept dropping chunks of burger on the couch, much to the non-diarrhea dog’s delight. I changed my son’s diaper one more time, gave the sick dog some Pepto-Bismol, and forgot to brush his teeth (the boy, not the dog). I went out and wiped down the floor a second time, which seemed to finally rid us of the doggy diarrhea odor.
The following night, on the same time table, seemed to go smoother. Only one parent showed up to claim the child (still me), we had dinner that wasn’t fast food, and no one pooped on the floor! Ya! Maybe this 2 jobs thing just requires practice.
I also learned that I have trouble working AND keeping up with my blog. But I assure you, I have many completed posts in my cue and the next three days off. Just let me catch up:)
This week I learned that:
1. Green Skittles are now green apple flavored, rather than lime. Both are gross.
2. It is supremely rude to type a phone number into your phone as I am on the phone giving it to you. IT IS LOUD on my end!
3. I think I might need to eat a Mrs. Field’s cookie every day for my entire life.
4. Eating Egg McMuffins at 12:15AM are not a good idea. (Wait, I already knew that, but did it anyway…)
5. Back to the Future is very unrealistic. There is no way they could know exactly what millisecond that lightning would strike.*
6. That my dog may be more closely related to dingos than I at first thought. See for yourself.
My Dog Dave
Dingos at the Toledo Zoo
* The time travel, flux capicitor, and the DeLorean becoming one of the most iconic movie cars of the decade are totally possible and believable.
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