Dinosaur Gardens

My family was lucky enough to get a chance to escape up to northern Michigan this summer. This gave me the opportunity to introduce my son to the land of dinosaurs, better known as Dinosaur Gardens.

You see, I visited there when I was only a little older than he. And I not only lived to tell the tale, but I left with proof.

Dinosaur Gardens

Dinosaur Gardens

I didn’t tell my 4 1/2 year old son where we were heading. I had visited the Dinosaur Gardens website, but I was still afraid that maybe they would be closed or something. Then, of course, he was asleep when we arrived. I groggily took him out of the car and, holding him lovingly to me, said, “Hey, look what is over there in the woods!” and pointed out the giant brontosaurus to him.

An immediate look of horror crossed his face. This is a little boy who actually likes scary things. (And making up stories. I am planning on him to be the next Stephen King.) But, well, apparently he doesn’t like them when he first wakes up.

We took him into the gift shop, where the sight of toy dinosaurs quickly woke him up.

But when we began down the path into the woods, M wouldn’t budge. He was afraid of the brontosaurus. Mind you, it did tower over even mom and dad, let alone him. With some gentle but firm coaxing, he entered the forest. But first he said, “This is very weird and ridiculous.”

I can't imagine why he could be scared...

I can’t imagine why he could be scared…

In time he became so comfortable, he even began to feed the creatures himself!

M feeding one of the animals.

M feeding one of the animals.

I had told my husband that my mom had brought me here 30 years ago. He asked me how she knew about it. My mother’s grandmother had a newspaper clipping she had saved about the extraordinary sculptures someone had made in Osseneke, Michigan. So, they had brought my mom (and most likely her older brother) up here once when she was a girl. I love that this roadside attraction, many of which thrived in the days of drive-ins in the 1950s but have since become extinct, continues to roar on for generations of my family.

Even my husband was charmed.

Even my husband was charmed.

I asked my son if he would bring his kids back to visit. He said that he would, and that I could come too.

I think it is amazing that this tourist attraction has survived for 80 years. And not only been maintained, but improved! There were two new exhibits that had been added in recent years. While we were there, we saw several concrete statues that had either been recently repainted, or had had their previous paint carefully removed and were primed for a new coat.

This was the only sick animal, and I thought it was very clever how they explained his illness.

This was the only sick animal, and I thought it was very clever how they explained his illness.

This is a great stop for everyone. If you like art and dinosaurs, you will love the statues and appreciate all the hard work that must have gone into them by the artist, Paul Domke. If you are a nature enthusiast, you will love the walk in the woods. If you like souvenirs, they have those too. (Personally, I like all four of those things.)

Beautiful

Beautiful

I love that all this was created from one man’s imagination gone wild. He stood on this piece of land and saw that the fabric of time was thin here, that others would be able to come after him and experience prehistoric times as he could, with a little help from his own hands. I love that he had a dream that most would call crazy, to build dinosaurs in northern Michigan’s harsh climate. But he did it. And it has endured for nearly a century.

Yes, I had to recreate the past.

Yes, I had to recreate the past.

That is all I am asking out of my writing career. That isn’t too much to ask for, right?

The End

The End

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Young & Hungry (& Good TV)

Emily Osment stars in Young & Hungry on ABC Family

Emily Osment stars in Young & Hungry on ABC Family

A few months ago on Netflix, I stumbled upon a show called Young & Hungry. I may have skipped over it completely, until I saw that it starred Emily Osment. I always enjoyed her as the sidekick on Hannah Montana (yes, I am an adult who watched Hannah Montana. Deal with it.). I actually always liked her character of Lilly better than Hannah.

I gave Young & Hungry a try, and I am so glad I did. If you are looking for a realistic, deep, intellectual drama… ya, keep walking. But if you just want a little bit of marshmallow fluff to make you smile at the end of a rough day, this show is for you. It is a multi-camera sitcom in the tradition of humor based on misunderstandings, the type that no longer exist on the big 5 television networks. I love that by reading one word in the episode title, I can guess the plot of the whole ensuing episode pretty spot-on. That brings me great joy.

It is the only show that has made me literally laugh out loud in a really long time. And yes, much of the humor is based off of stereotypes, but I think it is done in a way that doesn’t come off as offensive as many other shows.

The basis of the show is that Gabi (Osment) is a young and poor girl who is good at cooking and desperately needs a job. She interviews to be a personal chef for a wealthy, successful tech developer named Josh (Jonathan Sadowski). They discover that they have a bit of chemistry. They sleep together, then realize it is a mistake for several reasons. And then he hires her anyway.

And, that my little friends, is THE PILOT.

Yes, they go THERE in the pilot. The ensuing episodes all have a standalone plot, while the overarching theme of the series is always “When will Gabi and Josh get together as a couple?” Which, unfortunately, is something I totally fall for.

Elliot (Rex Lee) & Yoland (Kim Whitley)

Elliot (Rex Lee) & Yolanda (Kim Whitley)

The supporting cast is great, and one that makes you believe that old sitcom falsehood of “they are all one big, happy family,” even though they bicker with each other. It is a very diverse cast. And the actors mesh together so that I actually believe they might all talk to each other if they were in the real world. There is Kym Whitley playing the strong, outspoken black woman. There is Rex Lee playing the gay Asian who bosses everyone around, but is actually quite insecure when not involved in his job. I LOVE Aimee Carrero as Gabi’s roommate Sophia. She gets some of the best lines.

I loved it when Gabi was going to set up an online dating profile against her wishes and stated that her name, “Sofia Maria Consuela Rafaella Rodriguez,” would be an auto-correct nightmare.

Aimee Carrero as Gabi's roommate Sophia.

Aimee Carrero as Gabi’s roommate Sophia.

I love it when Gabi’s car breaks down, so Josh figures he will remedy the situation by buying her a new used car. And his other employees Yolanda and Elliot are like “What about us? Where are our new cars?

“Or when Gabi thinks she may be pregnant. And she has only slept with Josh. And apparently the only place she can take her preg test is at work at Josh’s apartment?!? Hi-jinks and confusion ensue.

Josh often wears this expression. As if he is frustrated with Gabi, but about to bust out laughing any second. Photo: ABC Family

Josh often wears this facial expression. As if he is frustrated with Gabi, but about to bust out laughing any second. Photo: ABC Family

This show is currently in the middle of its second season on ABC Family. You can check out past episodes on Netflix. And it is a show that, with my brilliant synopsis above, you could join in the fun at anytime. Just know that as the season comes closer to an end, the writers will give you the illusion that Josh and Gabi are getting closer to a real romantic relationship. Then they will find a way to RIP it away from you! (That is what happened at the end of season one, and before the mid-season two hiatus.) But, the show is so cute and funny, you will find that you will come back for more anyway.

Don’t forget I have a NEW CONTEST running where you can win a pair of passes to the GREAT LAKES BOOK BASH October 10th in Kalamazoo, MI. Winner provides own transportation and/or lodging. See contest for complete rules. Hurry! Contest ends September 15, 2015.

AFV

The other day I happened to have on America’s Funniest Home Videos, which I rarely watch. My son sat next to me on the couch, constantly asking, “What happened? What happened, Mommy?”

There are only so many times I can answer, “He fell down, honey.”

America's Funniest Home Videos

America’s Funniest Home Videos

There was a time when I thought that America’s Funniest Home Videos wold run out of material.

Wait, listen to me before you judge. It was a past century, a very different time.

When the show debuted in 1989, the viewing audience sent in their videotaped bloopers. At that time, not every household could even afford a video camera. And not everyone who owned one captured something funny enough for the show. Then, in a cash grab, people went through their old 8mm film looking for comedy gold.

But, at some point, I figured people would run out accidents from the past to send in. And there was no way recent footage could keep up with the demand to keep the show on the air, right?

I didn’t foresee the birth of the smart phone. (If I had, I would be sitting here naked in a pile of money right now.) People overnight were able to capture absolutely every single second of their lives in a file of moving pictures. I mean, look at the tragedy of 9/11/2001. BOTH planes crashing into the World Trade Center were caught on tape.

Falling down has gone from being shot on film to recorded on video tape to saved in a file. No more worrying about that pesky trip to the post office to ship your bulky old black plastic VHS to California. Now you can just email the footage for free. The evolution of earning money for clumsiness in the last three decades is staggering.

AFV-nuts

Speaking of AFV, I have always wondered why the audience dresses up in suits and fancy dresses. Am I the only one that thinks that is bizarre? It is a show a show where people obtain groin injuries for others’ entertainment. Are the audience members planning to dine at a hoity-toity restaurant after? AFV is always promoting Disney. Couldn’t they just have some tourists from Disneyland file into the studio wearing their shorts and Hawaiian shirts and ball caps? (Confession: I have never been to a Disney theme park, but that is what I imagine the people all wear.)

Please check out my updated EVENTS page, as I have just added a few new ones for this year.

And speaking of events, I have a NEW CONTEST running where you can win a pair of passes to the GREAT LAKES BOOK BASH October 10th in Kalamazoo, MI. Winner provides own transportation and/or lodging. See contest for complete rules. Contest ends September 15, 2015.

Air Conditioning

It is something lots of people in the U.S. take for granted.

When I was a child, we didn’t have air conditioning in our house or our assorted cars. And I never thought anything about it. The lack of it was not hardship in my life.

Then when I started 2nd grade, my mom and I moved into a trailer (a.k.a. mobile home) in the trailer court. Crazy thing here is that it had an air conditioner–in my bedroom, no less–(and a washer and dryer) when we moved in, but she sold them, with the excuse that they would be too expensive to run. Then she spend the next 16 years that we lived there complaining about how the laundromat was so much more expensive than having a washer and dryer at home. Go figure. A lot of what she does doesn’t make sense to me. But if I ask her, she will double-talk me until it does. Until I talk to another rational human being, who points out the holes in her logic, or lack thereof.

My old hoome was just pulled out to the curb to be sold for best offer.

My old home was just pulled out to the curb, to be sold for best offer, like some used car or piece of trash.

Anyways, if you are not aware, trailers heat up faster and retain more heat than your typical wood-frame house. Actually, you can liken them a lot to the greenhouse affect that happens to your car on a hot day. You know how they say “no matter how far open you leave your windows on a hot day, it will always get too hot to leave your dog in there?” Works the same way with a trailer. No matter how many windows you open or how far, it will always heat up in the midday summer sun to an unbearable level. (And we had the old, slanted crank windows that blocked any potential breeze. And eventually became too stripped to crank, no matter how careful you were each time, and had to be propped open with a chunk of wood.)

I was that dog.

While my mom scampered off to work in an air-conditioned office, I was at home for three months every summer, with nothing but an oscillating fan.

Most days I could ride my bike outside and make a little breeze for myself. With little tricks like aiming the fan to blow hot air out the kitchen window when running the oven, then turning it around to suck in the cool air at night, we managed. Barely.

Do you remember that Married with Children episode where the Bundys were so hot they went to live in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store?

The Bundys camping in the grocery store.

The Bundys camping in the grocery store.

That may be based on a true story. I used to travel to the little local grocery store that was only a four minute walk from my house, just to loiter and absorb as much cold air as possible before my short, sweaty walk home again.

On 80 or 90 degree days, it was just so miserable. Where my current house may equalize with the external temperature, it never gets hotter than that. In that trailer, it was always at least five degrees hotter inside than the temperature outside. There was one summer where the high temp was 100 or greater for four days straight. All my mom and I could do was lay in front of the fans and sweat. Well, she was recovering from surgery, so she couldn’t do much else anyway.

And I realize I sound like I am whining, but I’m not. I actually don’t even like AC because it dries out my sinuses and makes it hard to breathe. And I know some people work construction or road crews and are subjected to high temps for hours. This post isn’t really meant for them.

I want to campaign for if you are going to live in a tin can, you need to provide air conditioning for your child. I used to ride my bike all through the trailer court (there must have been a couple hundred parked in there) and look at each and every home as I went. Some had central air, some only window units, but were all running. MY TRAILER WAS THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT AIR CONDITIONING!!!

After that, I lived in an apartment and now I have a house, in both I have had access to window AC units that I rarely use, because it just doesn’t get as miserably hot as the trailer did.

My mom bought a different trailer after I moved out, and guess what it had?

Central Air.

My favorite quote from the movie The Last Starfighter

My favorite quote from the movie The Last Starfighter

I write about things that stood out in my childhood. Being HOT (and not in the leggy supermodel way) and bored and lonely all summer long is something I will never forget until the end of time. It indeed felt like I was in hell.

If I win the lottery, I think it would be awesome to start a fund that would help poor people living in trailers to get an air conditioner, and maybe supply a stipend to help offset the increased electrical usage annually. Maybe that is silly. Food and medicine and such are always looked at as more pressing necessities for the needy. But heat can be dangerous. That is why NOAA has heat advisories and there are community cooling centers on really hot days. It can be a danger as much as any forest fire or volcanic eruption.

Individuals who live in trailers have enough issues to deal with. There is the stigma of being trailer trash, white trash, or redneck. Then their is the fact that Mother Nature has it out for you in other ways as well.

Johnny freaks out over a tornado on WKRP in Cincinnati.

Johnny freaks out over a tornado on WKRP in Cincinnati.

It is funny because it is true.

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
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When You Least Expect It AVAILABLE NOW!

Excerpt: Chapter 2 of When You Least Expect It

When You Least Expect It by Jennifer Friess

When You Least Expect It by Jennifer Friess

Here is Chapter 2 from Book 2 in The Riley Sisters Series, When You Least Expect It.

If you want to read Chapter 1, please click here: https://imnotstalkingyou.com/2015/07/16/excerpt-chapter-1-of-when-you-least-expect-it-goodreads-giveaway/

If you read Book 1, The Wind Could Blow a Bug, then maybe you were always curious about what life was like inside the big old Tucker farmhouse. So was I. After all, the Tuckers are like royalty in the tiny town of Oakey. All those hot bachelors living on top of each other. Here is your inside look, courtesy of our protagonist Kiley. And don’t forget that my Goodreads giveway ends 8/15/15. Enter here: https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/147094-the-wind-could-blow-a-bug

2

Kiley used to like driving, but now she was just sick of it. She wanted to get to her destination and not have to start her SUV again for at least a week. The sun was sinking lower in the darkening sky. She was only an hour out. Being on South 223, headed toward Oakley, she could already feel her body relaxing. She was headed home. Well, to her hometown anyway. The house she had grown up in with her parents and her sisters had been sold after their divorce when she was 15. Kiley and Miley, along with their mother, Helen Riley, had moved in with their Aunt Jamie in Huntington. That is where they had finished high school. Her dad had gone to take care of his ailing mother in Jackson, until her death a few years later. He must have put down roots, because he stayed. Kiley’s older sister Jane had gone off to college. Miley and Kiley’s relationship with Jane actually improved once their parents were removed from the situation. But she wasn’t going to think about all that fucked up shit just now. Jane was the reason Kiley would be in Oakley by dinnertime.

Kiley could see the large farming complex in the distance; all of the grain elevators, bins, barns, garages, and the office that made up the business of Tucker Farms. The fields stretched out on either side of the road. Freshly planted distinct rows of winter crops gave the optical illusion of bending as they reached toward the horizon with the motion of the moving vehicle. Kiley knew it was the right homestead, because there was no other farm this big anywhere nearby. She could just make out the chipped paint of the wedding proposal for Jane that her now-husband Wade had painted on one of the silos. She pulled into the driveway of the Tuckers’ large farmhouse. It is a good thing it was large, because right now there were seven people living in it, and there were about to be two more.

Kiley parked her car behind one of the pickup trucks, not knowing where would be a good place to not block someone. Kiley was used to parking for the night in a parking lot. She was going to be staying here awhile, at least a few weeks, but some things were just not as clear cut as they would be at an impersonal hotel.

She stepped out of the car and slammed the driver’s door. Somewhere from within the house she heard a dog bark. She opened the rear tailgate and slid out her big suitcase. It hit the ground with an unceremonious thud. As she stood it up and pulled up the handle, she heard plodding footsteps approaching on the gravel.

“Oh my God. It is so great to see you!” Jane yelled as she came closer to hug Kiley. Jane’s light brown hair was up in its usual ponytail. Kiley had once read somewhere that how people wore their hair in high school is how they would most likely wear it for the rest of their lives. That would be true of her older sister. Jane had always favored comfort over style. Her current physical state wasn’t going to change that anytime soon. Jane’s blue eyes beamed at the sight of Kiley.

“Wow. It is great to see ALL of you, too!” Kiley exclaimed. Jane and Kiley hugged awkwardly around Jane’s giant, round belly.

“What did you expect? I’m almost nine months pregnant!” Jane said, sarcastically.

“Well, I guess when you put it that way, you COULD be bigger,” Kiley appraised her sister’s baby bump. Kiley had not seen Jane in months. “I am so glad you didn’t have it before I got here.”

“I haven’t had any contractions or anything, so we will see. They may have to go in after the little sucker,” Jane pondered, putting her hand on her belly affectionately. “I am so glad you came to be my nanny.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Kiley’s eyes bugged out a little, “but I will help where I can.”

Wade, who had followed Jane out, came around to grab Kiley’s large suitcase. Wade and Jane had been married for two and a half years. Evan Tucker, Wade’s father, grabbed Kiley’s carry-on bag out of the car. Mr. Tucker owned the house and the farm.

“Any more bags, Kiley?” Mr. Tucker asked.

“Um, in the passenger side. And please don’t judge me by the cleanliness of my car, Mr. Tucker. I have been living in it for six months,” she yelled, as he made his way around the vehicle.

“Please, call me Evan,” he replied.

It was throwing Kiley off, having people help her carry things. All the cheap motels she stayed at she schlepped her bags around herself. This was the first indication that after being on her own for four years, it might be hard to reacclimate to a family environment.

“C’mon. Dinner’s almost ready,” Jane led them into the house. It was kind of silly, as she was slowing everyone down with her weighted pace.

“Did Donna cook it?” Kiley asked, hopefully.

“Of course. You deserve a good, old-fashioned home-cooked meal. There is no better cook in these parts than my wife,” Evan boasted. He was always happy to brag about his wife’s cooking.

A haze of smoke surged out the door as Jane opened it. Walking in the door, the smell of homemade fried chicken reached Kiley’s nostrils. The aroma of grease hung heavy in the air. Her nose told her that burnt stray buttermilk batter bits in the pan had overcooked and were the source of the kitchen smog. Kiley thought she might pass out from the overpoweringly delicious aroma. She had only had Donna’s cooking on a few occasions, one of which being Jane’s wedding rehearsal dinner, but it never disappointed.

Kiley followed Jane through the door. A large, orange dog leisurely wagged its tail as Jane approached. When it got a whiff of Kiley’s unfamiliar sent, the dog went into a crazy barking fit. Kiley liked dogs, but was a little afraid of all the teeth she saw as the dog growled at her.

“Dave, come,” a man called from the living room. The dog barked three more times at her, the hair on his back standing at attention, before turning tail and heading further into the house to obey his master.

Huge hooks filled with coats hung on the wall just inside the door. There was a striped rug over the tile on the entryway floor. It could hardly be seen under the pile of boots and shoes that eclipsed it, mostly men’s. Many were covered with a reddish-brown crust. Kiley was going to hope that it was only dirt. She figured Donna must make them all remove their footwear here. It was the only way that the carpet in the house would ever survive to see another year. There was a door to Kiley’s left that seemed to go directly into the kitchen. There was a short hallway to the right. There were at least three more doors down there. The living room lay straight ahead, filled with bodies. She found herself smiling reflexively at the smell from the food, even though she was entering a room full of people who were virtually strangers.

“Hi Kiley.”

“Welcome.”

The room collectively greeted her as she came in. She knew all the guys were Wade’s brothers. She used to know all their names, but was now fuzzy on who was who. She had met so many new people in the past year. The unknown female must be one of their wives. Jane led Kiley through the living room and in front of the pass-through window for the kitchen, where Donna spotted her.

“Oh, there you are! Give me a hug, honey.” Donna embraced Kiley in a giant hug before she ever had the chance to protest. Not that she would have. Donna was pleasantly plump with a wild nest of curly burnt sienna hair. Kiley didn’t know her well, but Donna was the most genuinely nice person she had ever encountered.

“Sorry about the smoke. Happens every time I make fried chicken,” Donna paused, taking a breath. “Are you excited to become a first-time aunt? Cuz I am SO excited to become a step-grandma-in-law, or whatever!”

“Yes, I guess so. I am interested to see how Jane does with labor,” Kiley said.

Jane held up a middle finger for her sister that no one else could see as she had already snuck into the kitchen.

“Oh, honey. I wanted to tell you what a great book you wrote. Oh, but I bet everyone tells you that. I read it cover to cover. Everyone in town is so proud of you…” Donna could talk a mile a minute, and use more exclamations than anyone could believe possible. Kiley was out of breath just listening to her.

“But one thing did bother me about the book. I never realized Jane was so mean to you growing up.”

“It’s not Jane!”

“It’s not me!”

Kiley and Jane yelled in unison.

That is one thing that Kiley never anticipated would be such a big deal about her book. The main character had an evil older adopted sister. The older sister character was in no way based on Jane, other than maybe that she was adopted. But now everyone thought Jane had been a wicked step sister. Even their mom had called Kiley and Jane to see if there was any truth in the writing to real life.

“Oh, well, that’s good. We are so glad you could come stay for the birth of the bouncing baby and for the holidays. It will be so good for Jane to have family around at this time.”

“You are all my family,” Jane said to Donna loud enough for those in the living room to hear, but Donna pretended not to notice. Maybe the statement had embarrassed her. Jane snatched a biscuit off the counter behind Donna’s back and took a bite out of it.

“Thanks for having me. I know you already have a full house. But it will be so nice for me to be off the road for a while,” Kiley sighed. ‘That is an understatement,’ she thought to herself.

“Hey, people can only check-in if they have a definite departure date,” a loud guy yelled from the couch in the living room.

“Then you are more in violation of that rule than anyone else here!” a younger-looking guy said. Everyone laughed.

Kiley wasn’t used to spending copious amounts of time with loud men. Ted definitely didn’t qualify as a loud man, and he wasn’t into horseplay or games. He was too serious for that. Kiley had grown up in a house full of girls. Her own father had been the quiet type. She would have to stay close to Wade and Jane for protection. On second thought, Wade often seemed a likely target. Kiley would have to hide behind the pregnant woman.

“C’mon everyone, gather round the table. Dinner is ready,” Donna sang. Literally, the words came out like a song.

“It’s been ready for forty-five minutes. We were just waiting for that chick to show up.”

“Shut up, Josh.”

Kiley saw the youngest brother jab his elbow into his older brother Josh’s ribs.

 

 

Follow the romantic entanglements of The Riley Sisters in my books:
The Wind Could Blow a Bug ON SALE for only $.99 for a limited time & GIVEAWAY going on over at Goodreads (ends August 15, 2015)
When You Least Expect It AVAILABLE NOW!