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What I Learned This Week – 9/9/12

I learned this week that the power of positive thinking does in fact manifest great things.

My fellow blogger LazyHippieMama this week manifested herself a trip to Disney World. She simply asked clearly for what she wanted and ye shall receive!

This week I stumbled and bumbled and begged the universe for my son’s urologist to give us a good report. It wasn’t a glowing report. But he also didn’t say anything was wrong either. (Which, as a mother, leaves me a little in limbo.) He said the portable ultrasound my son had a month ago was good enough to see that his kidney was still large (bad), but not dilated (good), and that it could take several years for it to return to a more normal size (as it has been enlarged since the womb). He said we should come back in November for a regular ultrasound, just to keep an eye on things.

My son at the McDonald’s Play Place, about an hour after the doctor gave us a good review.


This week I also became the proud owner of a new modem, then in turn, a new router. But, maybe this was manifested too. After all, I never doubted that we would have Internet back soon. OK, so I didn’t doubt…much.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

Time Machine

Do you ever wish you had a Time Machine to skip over a hard day? I sure do.

I could put on Facebook when my son is going into the hospital to have surgery (which seems like a form of medieval torture) to get sympathy and support. But I do not, for two reasons:

1. I don’t want thieves to go “Oh, she is at the hospital with her kid, let’s break into her house.” That would add insult to injury.

2. I may want to get a job someday, and I don’t want potential employers to know that my kid has racked up over $100,000 in medical bills this year, and counting.

I must be the wussiest parent ever. All the other parents in the pediatric pre-op waiting room seemed calm and composed. I was a freakin’ mess. I was freaking out for two main reasons:

1. I am afraid when I hold him before surgery it will be the last time I ever hold him. Surgery always has risks.

2. I feel like this will never end. I feel like my son will be 18 years old and we will still be going to the urologist every month for his dilated kidney. I would LOVE for the doctor to fix it and then we only have to have a test like once a year to make sure it stays on track.

* I secretly believe my son’s urologist is writing some groundbreaking article he will publish in a medical journal about my son’s unique complications and the doctor will make a ton of money off of it.

As my son screamed in the backseat, my overwhelming thought on the hour drive to the hospital for my son’s latest surgery was: I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be an adult. I don’t want to be a parent. I can’t handle all this responsibility. Everyone has their limit of how much shit life can throw at them, and my son’s medical issues are bringing me very close to my limit.

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