I have a Bachelor’s degree in Communications-Mass Media, specifically Radio & TV Broadcasting.
I have never used it.
People ask me why. I have always dodged the question.
Why would you ask someone that? It is just pointing out that I failed. How, I’m not sure. But that question still makes me feel like a failure. It is like a big gray cloak being pulled over me. It suffocates me.
My mom probably hates me for not using my degree. But she was the one who made me go to stupid college in the first place. If I was going to be there for 4 years, I wanted to do something fun.
I was a fan of many local DJ’s at the time. While I was still in high school, I even got to be on the most popular local radio station for an hour and pick all the songs. I thought the Universe was telling me this was my thing.
Me on “Look Ma, I’m on KISS-FM”, 92.5 WVKS Toledo, 1994
None of my college projects turned out perfect. I got A’s on most of them. But there was always something about the audio quality or length or lighting or editing that bothered me about every project I did. I wasn’t used to not being perfect in school.
Four years later, after spending time on half-broken, analog equipment, I didn’t feel like my college had actually prepared me for the real world. I didn’t feel confident I could walk into a radio station and operate their board. And the college gave me no assistance in finding a job.
Laryngitis. The only time in my life I have ever lost my voice was the last month before I graduated from college. Right when I wanted to make demo tapes to send out to radio stations. While my voice came back, it wasn’t the same for about 2 months. I had a limited window of time that I had access to the recording equipment, so I made tapes anyway. They didn’t sound like me. I did send them out to stations. None of them called.
But I took the laryngitis as a sign that I wasn’t meant to go into radio. The Universe is a fickle mistress. It broke my heart a little. But I was also scared to death to go out into the big bad world and be that brave. I think my discouragement was equal parts laryngitis and fear. I decided maybe I was just a better radio spectator than player.
I got a boring office job in a giant corporate building filled with cubicles I hated. My mom had always worked in offices. It felt like a safe bet, if not one I was thrilled about. I hated the long commute. I hated the work. But I liked the people. I made some great friends just at the time in my life when I needed them. We had lots of important experiences that shaped me into the dorky weirdo that I am today. I wouldn’t trade the chance to meet those folks for anything. (Love to Patti, Carrie, Jeff, Linda, Ann, Megan, Paul, and the rest…)
I recently applied a few times to the local radio station. I got an interview, but with no current experience, they didn’t hire me. Other stations are an even further commute for me. Or I would have to move. I don’t want to move. For many reasons.
You might look at this post as a list of excuses. I suppose it is. But I don’t have a better explanation.
The Universe told me it wasn’t my thing. I believed it.
Maybe the Universe was trying to tell me that my words were important, just not the ones that come from my mouth. Maybe the ones that come from my fingers are more important?
This post will make you laugh, and it will make you cry.
My deep feelings about the Wienermobile are plenty. Let me share them with you now.
I never knew such a thing as the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile existed, until one night on the 11 o’clock news I saw it as the final 30 second special interest feature they always do before cutting away to the Tonight Show. As a devoted follower of all things weird and pop culture, I instantly fell in love.
I sent away to Oscar Mayer for an information pack about the Wienermobile. In those pre-Internet days, that is just how we did things. The packet was a folder full of stuff, containing an 8×10 glossy of the Wienermobile, along with historical facts, and of course a catalog of fine Oscar Mayer products for purchase.
First Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer
Being a good little consumer, I totally ordered a Wienermobile shirt (it was one of my favorites for years), a Wienermobile Hot Wheel, and several wiener whistles, that I then continued to hand out to people who were important to me for years to come. (If you knew me in person, you would understand. Or at least you would smile to my face and laugh behind my back about it. That IS the polite thing to do, afterall*.)
Wiener Whistle
I was instantly interested in how I could maybe one day get to drive the Wienermobile. Unfortunately, it was a college internship thing. At this time, I was only senior in high school. So, I hung the picture on my bedroom wall and wore my shirt weekly. (Can you guess that I was not popular in high school? I was Sue Heck, from The Middle. I was so oblivious, I didn’t even realize how unpopular I was. Except I had glasses instead of braces.) At this time, I may have also came up with my dream of Jennifer’s Wiener Hut.
Sue Heck from The Middle standing in front of a giant hot dog. It is like this picture was MADE for this post!
When I started college and majored in Communications, taking classes in Radio and TV Broadcasting, and minored in English-Writing, I thought that maybe those would be skills Oscar Mayer might find useful. I thought that maybe if I had a Wienermobile internship for a summer, that then I could parlay that into an actual job at Oscar Mayer. Wisconsin is not that different from Michigan. Weather or culturally. I could probably handle living there. I like cows and cheese.
When I was a junior in college, I inquired again in writing to Oscar Mayer about how to become a hotdogger (what they call the people who drive the dog). They sent me another information packet (not quite as awesome as the one from 3 years before). Incidentally, that was the 60th anniversary of the Wienermobile. They informed me that the internship was only for graduating seniors. So, I would still have to wait.
Second Wienermobile info packet from Oscar Mayer (Yes, I DO save everything)
With either the first or second mailing, they had sent me a cassette tape with all the different versions of the Oscar Mayer weiner song on it. Traditional, march, bossa nova, you name it, it was on there. I even used the music (and some of my other memorabilia) to make a commercial for my TV Production class.
[My apologies to the college students who are displayed within. I am withholding their names to avoid any further embarrassment.]
The Wienermobile came to Toledo. I was brave and drove down all by myself to go see it at the Lucas County Fairgrounds. I took many pictures. They wouldn’t let anyone go inside of it 😦
The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile at Ned Skeldon Stadium
As I got closer to graduation, I wandered into the Career Center at the college once or twice. It was useless. Usually no one offered any help in there. Once the adviser guy did talk to me, and admitted that they did not get many job postings for positions in the Communications area. (Gee, thanks. Glad I spent 4 years worth of money here so that you could tell me that now!)
On one of these trips in, I saw it…
The sign to apply for the Wienermobile Hotdogger interships that year! The year of my impending graduation!
The bulletin that Adrian College posted (Note the incorrect spelling of Mayer!)
But F**K! The deadline was just a few days away!
I had to type up a resume and cover letter and get it in the mail, pronto. I am sure whatever I had for a resume at the time was pathetic, so I am sure I had to spend some time in the computer lab to revise it. The computer lab that was always busy, because many students did not yet have their own desktop computers. (Laptop? What is a laptop? A cell phone? Only guys on Wall Street have those. A smart phone? Does not compute.) I went to the post office and mailed it off priority 2-day mail, which I had never used before, because I wanted it to make it there by the deadline.
Then I worried and fretted that I had not made the deadline. I never heard back from them. Not even a rejection letter. By the time summer came and they would have been starting their Wieneriffic journey, I knew I was not worthy of the wiener 😦 I would have missed my then boyfriend, now husband if they had chosen me. But I think he would have understood. And followed me to Wisconsin.
For years, I was bitter about not getting the internship. I still am. In July of 2011, I was laid off from my job of 12 years. A year and a half later, I was still looking for a new job. I had gotten pretty desperate by then, so I was applying to somewhat crazy jobs anyway. Then I stumbled across the Hotdogger job. Again! But this time, it was not tied to anything about college. There were no restrictions, so I applied again!
I knew I wouldn’t get it. And I knew it was crazy, since I had a husband and small child at home who I really couldn’t leave to travel. But I had to apply. Again.
So I could feel rejected. Again.
I always knew someday I would write a blog post about the Wienermobile.
I HAVE ANOTHER SHOT! And because I am a powerful manifester, I will continue to get shots until IT IS MINE!
You think my confidence is cocky? I have a $2000 6 foot tall plush giraffe that I got for free in my house to prove that I CAN make my dreams come true. That only took me 20 years. And it only took me 20 years to get a dog. Hmmm…and to get a Red Wings hockey jersey…
I see a pattern here.
This bodes well for me and the wiener. And for getting a book published sometime soon.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!
RELISH THEM! (hehehehehe)
Once again I am coming down to the wire, though. If you want to enter as well, just tweet #tweet2lease by 2/7/14. But please don’t, because I want to win.
But if you do, and you do win, please swing by my house for a ride. That is all I really want…to have a ride in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.
…and the Goodyear Blimp. Obviously not at the same time though.
* “afterall” is one word in the funnygurl2 dictionary.
I got the idea to write this post from a comment I left for Friffle Thoughts in response to her post “Are All Bloggers Writers?”:
I used to think I wanted to write fiction/novels/short stories as a career someday. Then I tried it and realized it was hard work, like every other job. I didn’t like that. I stopped.
But then I discovered blogging. Blogging to me is like the free-writing I used to do in high school English class. It is easy. It clears my mind. My “blogging voice” is exactly what runs through my head. And once I write it down, then I don’t have to hold that experience/memory in my head anymore (it is getting very crowded in there).
My real inspiration for my blog was Tina Fey’s book “Bossypants”. Afterall, it is really just a free-write of events in her life. And it sold millions!!!
FYI-I love your friffles of thought.
And to expand on that tiny little comment:
If I am in a writing mood (i.e. writing about a topic I am interested in and for my own enjoyment and not for, say, work), the words just flow to me. They just pour out of my head and through my hand onto the paper. I feel as though someone else writes through me. I get frustrated that I cannot write fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I would be a terrible writer of books. I usually believe that the first batch of words I capture on paper are the best and I do not like to edit them after (except fixing spelling and grammatical errors). In school, they always wanted you to have multiple drafts of big papers. Often all my drafts looked very similar.
Without realizing it, I often think in my head as though I am writing or telling a story to someone else. Often, I can think of a blog post in my head multiple times before I actually have the chance to write it down. When I do write it, it will be almost identical to the first time I ran the thought through my head. Yes, I like to write my posts out in long hand. I can type faster than writing, but then I get lots of typos and they slow me down and make me lose my train of thought. (I recommend Uni-Ball Jetstream 1.0 Bold pens. They flow quickly and thickly.) And I might not get to type it up for another month. And when I do, I can anticipate the next words or sentences while typing–because the words came out of my brain in the first place.
With blogging, there is also that delicious chance at the monster that is fame. Someone might read my blog. Anyone might read my blog. Someone who reads it might pass it on to another. A link might get posted somewhere else. My writing might get re-posted. Someone famous might read my blog. Someone in publishing might see and want to give me a book deal. Someone in news might see it and want to include me in a newscast. (Hey, it can happen. I take full credit for badly influencing my asbestos friend, lazyhippiemama, to begin blogging and she ended up on HuffPost Live!)
I am someone who has anxiety, but secretly yearns to be famous and known. I love the entertainment industry. I read Entertainment Weekly every week cover to cover. I went to college and studied Radio and TV Broadcasting. On radio, you can be heard by millions but hide behind the microphone. On television, you can hide behind the camera. On my blog, I can hide behind my computer screen. I can blur my face out in photos one week if I feel like being anonymous. The next week I can leave my face alone if I am feeling brave and confident in my writing and topic.
Most of all, I can get all these words and experiences out of my head! I am almost 37 years old and running out of room up there. I have trouble remembering anything, especially since I was pregnant and had my son. I thought not being able to hold a thought was just a “pregnancy” thing. But for me, it seems to be just a “parent” thing.
I used to watch the great sitcoms of the 80’s and always say “I could write that.” And except for the fact that I am too scared of big cities to move to L.A., I think I could have been good at that. I think it was my secret career dream. I should have listened the night it presented itself to me in a dream. In the dream, I was working with a group of people to create a new TV show. It was all last minute and came together very quickly (Yes. I am aware shows take years to develop and get on air–DREAM, remember?) So quickly, that when they put the show together, they wanted to give me a vanity card at the end, but I hadn’t created one. In the dream, I never knew they created one for me until I watched my first episode and saw it at the end. The other creators knew I liked to cross-stitch (I actually do in reality, but haven’t done it in years), so my vanity card was done in cross-stitch. If I ever knew what it said, I can’t remember. I have never forgotten that dream. And I know if I ever do create a series, that is what I will use.
An example of a simple cross-stitch
I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)
Back in 1990, I would listen every night to the Live 5 at 8 Countdown with Dave Fuller on 92.5 KISS-FM. (I am so old, I remember before they were called KISS-FM.) I would listen on my awesome stereo AM/FM cassette player mini boom box from Sears. (I still have it. The best radio I have ever owned.) I had a total crush on the DJ, Dave Fuller. I still do. Well, a crush on his voice. I had no idea what he looked like. And I wouldn’t know for another 22 years.
I loved the song “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor. And it was VERY popular on 92.5, since that is the station all the school girls listened to. I had a knack. I would call about 15 minutes before he did the number one song on the countdown. I knew the number one song would be “Nothing Compares 2 U”. I knew that with the number one song, Dave Fuller always played a phone call. And I knew that he pre-taped the calls. There were multiple times that Dave played MY call on the air.*
*Here is a transcript of one of the calls. I would totally put an audio clip in this post, but I don’t want to get sued:
DF: The coveted event.
The sacred moment.
The thrill you have been waiting all day for.
The number one song on the Live 5 at 8 Countdown. ME: I wanna request, um, Nothing Compares 2 U for the countdown. DF: That’s what they all say. ME: [Awkward teenage giggle.]
I had such a big crush on Dave. I believe I have his birthday written down somewhere in my house. That is probably when I decided that Dave was such a cool name, although that is not the whole reason my dog is named Dave. If I had had a drivers’ license, I totally could have gone to remote broadcasts and stalked him. But by the time I did, he was off to another radio station.
So, I kept listening to 92.5 and I developed a crush on Kurt Kruse (no idea on the spelling) and Billy Michaels. I used to tape the disc jockeys talking to one another at shift change. I actually got to meet Kurt when I got to do a show called “Look Ma, I’m on KISS-FM” where I got to play DJ for an hour on a Friday night when no one listens. But it was right before high school graduation, so I never found out if anyone listened and thought I was ultra-cool. (Or ultra-dork.) I wrote an outline for a story about Billy Michaels, but I have never fleshed out the full story.
Probably my obsession with the DJs (and being totally clueless as to what I wanted to do in life) is why I studied Radio & TV Broadcasting in college. Not that I have ever actually used my degree to go into that field, because I have not.
The other day I looked, and Dave Fuller is now on a station in Detroit. He even has a Facebook page, which means I got to see what he looks like. My 8th grade self was so excited:) [Awkward teenage giggle.]
Sorry for all of the nostalgia lately. I am in the process of converting all my audio cassette tapes to mp3 files. Sometimes technology can be great.
I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)
I'm not stalking you. 