Tag Archives: family

So Eager

Posted on September 4, 2012 by funnygurl2


Do all first time parents feel the need to give their child every experience right away? Or are my husband and I just like that because our son had medical issues?

My husband and I bought my son, M, a shiny, new, red Radio Flyer tricycle…when he was just two months old. And, of course, my husband assembled it right away. My son is now 21 months old. We recently brought the tricycle down from the attic. He enjoys sitting on it and pushing it around, but he doesn’t have the hang of pedaling yet. Yes, we realize we are a little crazy.

But this doesn’t stop at tricycles. My son sat on Santa’s lap when he was just 15 days old. In his first year, M attended his first hockey game and his first baseball game. He was so young for the baseball game that the crowd’s cheering bothered him. He seemed kind of oblivious to the hockey game. M rode a carousel–twice.

At the animatronic dino souvenir store (check out the AWESOME T-shirt)


By the time M turned 18 months, he had had two rides on a real full-size train. He also had been on his first vacation, to a family event in North Carolina. Not yet two, he has now also racked up his first penny pony ride at Meijer, and seen life-size animatronic dinosaurs. M has ridden a Ferris Wheel. He has seen a full-size Thomas the tank engine, racking up yet another real train ride. He must just think that kids get to ride trains all the time. I think I was in middle school before I ever got to ride on a full-size train. There are probably some people who go their whole lives never riding one. (I like trains, can you tell? Random Fact: Also, lighthouses.)

To top it all off, M has already had his first flight. And not on a commercial airline or for vacation. We had an opportunity at a local festival to go up in a four seater Cessna and fly over our own house. M wasn’t scared at all. In fact, he fell asleep. (In case anyone cares, I got a little nauseous.)

I just wonder if this is normal behavior for parents. My asbestos fiend has a boy six months younger than M. She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to have him participate in life events before he is old enough to appreciate them, as we do. But then again, this is her second child. I don’t know how she felt with her first child. My asbestos friend lived clear across the country when her first was born.

Are we so eager because we are first time parents? Or is it because my son was born with an issue with his urinary system that required surgery at 6 months of age? Surgery that had complications. I know I really felt the rush to “hurry up” and “make experiences” with M while he was laying in the Pediatric ICU. My husband wanted to get a family portrait done as soon as M was born. I put him off and told him we would do it for Christmas, for our Christmas cards. Sitting in the hospital with my son, all I could think was that if he died before we got a family picture taken, my husband would never forgive me.

We got the picture taken on my son’s first birthday.

On television shows and in movies, the new mother always gazes down lovingly at her newborn child. I was not that mother. I found that I could not even let my heart fully love my son til he was almost a year old. It was a mechanism I used to guard myself, in case he should die from his medical issues or from the complications a surgery could bring. (Morbid, I know. And it hurts my heart to write it now. And it hurt my heart to live all this.)

M has a follow-up appointment on Wednesday. It makes my chest tight just to think about it. Our last appointment brought good news. I don’t know how to ask the universe or pray to God or beg and plead for more good news. I can’t handle a nephro tube or surgery again. I can’t. And my boy wants to put that all behind him and play with his Cozy Coupe and Thomas Wooden Railway (“toot-toot” he says). Please, everyone put in a good thought for him. And I will in return wish that you all get a moment to yourself to enjoy an ice cream.

What will be the next life experience we rush my son into before he turns three? Run for President of the United States? Trip to the moon?

You guys are wearin’ my ass out.


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What I Learned This Week – 8/26/12

Posted on August 26, 2012 by funnygurl2

I learned that it is awesome to have an anniversary date with my husband with NO CHILD with us! We haven’t both been out together without him since before he was conceived (well, I guess the first 40 weeks don’t count). He is 21 months old…TODAY! I felt rushed, because we had to get back before he fell asleep (we failed). But we had a great time.

Thanks again to LazyHippieMama for babysitting.

I also learned that it is awesome to go on a family play day out together (along with our favorite little blue engine). We went to Day Out With Thomas at the Crossroads Village and Huckleberry Railroad in Flint, Michigan.

When I was a kid, we had a brochure in my house for Crossroads Village and Huckleberry Railroad, that we had picked up on some vacation Up North. I used to stare at that brochure and wish we could go there. How sad is that? At that time I had never been on a full-size train ride and had not been pulled by a steam engine. I have done both those things in the almost 30 years since. But, I had still never gone to Crossroads Village and Huckleberry Railroad. I sort of assumed they had gone out of business, because railroads have expensive upkeep.

Then last summer a friend of mine recommended this Thomas event. I figured that my son was sort of too young to get it last year, so we didn’t go. But this year we went. And WE HAVE CREATED A MONSTER! My son can’t say “Thomas” or “train”, but he sure did say “toot-toot” a lot. I witnessed the awesome power of licensed characters and the merchandising machine first hand. But we all had great fun. And the village had lots more to do than I would have thought. We didn’t arrive til 11am, and I felt rushed. We didn’t get to see it all.

When we got home, my son grabbed all his Thomas and Friends books and looked at them more carefully than before, no doubt remembering his awesome day. At least he isn’t old enough to ask for a trip to the Island of Sodor yet.

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Dead Dad Movie (Non-Feature Film Edition)

Posted on August 9, 2012 by funnygurl2

(Click here to see my previous post about Dead Dad feature films.)


[This the only footage I have of my dad. My dad died before I was born. My mom said that her dad (my grandpa) died in December 1973. She was using up the film on his movie camera, so this was probably taken in 1974.]

Family movies. About once a year, when I was young, my mom would force my Gramma to get out the films (Super 8?) and the projector and we would watch them. Usually this was a few months after it was first discussed, because it seemed like my Gramma always needed to buy a new light bulb for the projector. There were about 15 reels of film. My mom always wanted to watch the one with my dad on it first. No one could ever remember which reel it was on.

The family movies contained relatives I had never met and would never meet. Relatives that my mom and Gramma had (it seemed) endless stories about. There were movies of my Gramma’s house before the porch was built and before it was screened in. There were movies of my mom and Gramma helping to build my uncle’s house. An uncle I did actually get to meet before he died, but he moved out of that house before I ever saw it.

In the movies, there were many scenes of dogs pooping (Ginger, who was our dog when I was young, and Suzy, my Gramma’s dog that died shortly after I was born, and my Great Grandpa’s future dog, Rusty). There was a flood rushing through my Gramma’s front yard. There were boring movies of driving out West to Yellowstone, taken from car windows. There was a more endlessly boring boat trip to Lower Tahquamenon Falls, which sort of blends in to another at Pictured Rocks. These trip movies also featured everyone walking from the car to the restroom and back again.

I was always disappointed that I was not represented in those movies. Here were my mom and Gramma and uncle, who I actually knew, fraternizing with all these strangers. They were living lives I would never know anything of, except for their stories and these movies. My lack of representation bothered me so much so that in college, studying Communications-Radio & TV Broadcasting, I checked the video camera out one weekend and shot my own home movies. One problem, my movies had sound. My Gramma’s did not. When I watch my home movies now, I watch them on mute. I prattle on about this and that. What I really want to see are my old clothes and furniture and posters on my walls. And I love on the video when my asbestos friend and I go to the gas station (which in a year would be the site of my first real job) and gas is $1.24. She says “$1.24! I should be able to put gold in my car for $1.24!”

In the late 1980’s my mom decided to have the films transferred to VHS. We numbered what order to transfer them in, placing the film with my dad first. At the time, Sears was running a promotion where they gave you a free extra VHS copy to send to America’s Funniest Home Videos (The new hit show:P). It even came in a cardboard box with the show’s address on it, all ready to mail. (Of course, our only funny scene, of a bear trying to get into the sunroof of a Volkswagen Beetle, had long ago been lost to the unfortunate break and scotch tape repair.) So, we kept one tape and my Gramma kept the other. My mom and I could watch it whenever we wanted. We would watch the beginning, with family and dogs. We stopped it when the Mackinac Bridge came into view, always skipping the boat trips.

In the 2000’s, my work had a discount offer to get film/slides/VHS converted to DVD. I decided I should torture the old footage and have it converted one last time. But, what to convert? The film had continued to deteriorate in my Gramma’s hot apartment. So then, which VHS? The one that had been kept in our hot trailer or my Gramma’s hot apartment? (Boy, analog is sure fragile.) I believe I chose my Gramma’s VHS tape, because it had been viewed very few times, as she had given us her VCR, which is what we watched our copy of the tape on.

Yes, the quality is iffy. And all the ritual is gone out of it. No setting the date, buying the light bulb. No guessing what was on each reel, no popcorn. No narration by those who had lived it. But it still feels like preserving history. My history. And now my son can watch them too. He can see the few fleeting seconds that are captured of my dad.

Then, he will know him as well as I do.

Looking to convert your own memories? I recommend The Archival Company. Who do I NOT recommend? Walmart.

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TV Was My Family (A Tribute to Growing Pains)

Posted on July 19, 2012 by funnygurl2


I watched a lot of TV as a kid—A LOT! In high school I once totaled my viewing hours to be 58 hours a week. And that was DURING the school year. More hours than a full time job.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, it was just my mom and I growing up. No dad or siblings. Not many friends. So, somewhere, in my head, I began to think of the people I saw on television as my family.

I had Grandpa Bob Barker. I had Cousin Chuck Gaidica (although I have heard he is an a-hole in real life. But, doesn’t every family have one?). Uncle Phil Donahue and Auntie Marlo Thomas. But, for the core family—mom, dad, sisters, and brothers—I wanted to be a Seaver.

I can remember watching Growing Pains at my Gramma’s house. My mom was taking evening adult education classes at Vo-Tech so that she could learn how to use a computer and go back to work for the first time in like 15 years. My Gramma was baby-sitting me. The class was on Tuesday nights. She let me watch Growing Pains and Who’s The Boss, although I knew she didn’t enjoy them.

I loved the screwball Seaver family. Jason Seaver, the kooky psychiatrist father. “Maggie” Margaret Katherine Seaver, the loving but flaky, journalist mother. “Mike” Michael Aaron Seaver, dim-witted, class clown, troublemaker, chick-magnet older brother. Carol Ann Seaver, genius but socially awkward middle child. “Ben” Benjamin Hubert Horatio Humphrey Seaver, adorably precocious little brother. The premise of the show was that Maggie went back to work while Jason stayed home with the kids. The show moved away from this and just became generally about a family growing up in the 80’s. Later, even switching the rolls between Maggie and Jason again as it became necessary.

Growing Pains
JASON: Mike, you look like you’ve been in a fight.
MIKE: Oh, yeah.
JASON: Who with?
MIKE: My sixth period speech class.
JASON: You fought the whole class?!
MIKE: I don’t know. I was on the bottom of the pile. My fight is not important right now, neither is my suspension.

I could have slid right into the role of Carol. I wasn’t as smart, but just as responsible and nerdy. Except that may have been a problem. Because I had a huge crush on Kirk Cameron at the time. It probably would have been bad to want to make out with my brother. There is an episode where Ben sees a pretty girl while at a taping of the Cosby Show and that throws him into puberty. That is what Kirk Cameron did for me. I have to admit, he is adorable as Mike Seaver. But it never would have worked out. Kirk has gone all uber-religious in his old age. I am not down with that. I used to pretend that my Rainbow Brite doll, my Punky Brewster doll, and my Flower Patch Kid doll were the triplets I had with Kirk Cameron. Yes, it was that confusing time of life when you think about sex but still want to play with your dolls. That time of life when you play Barbies and they have sex with each other all the time and you realize maybe you shouldn’t be playing with Barbies anymore.

All this “what if”-ing to join their family gets really crazy when you consider that there was an episode where Ben dreamed that his family wasn’t his family, but a TV show where actors just played his family. It was an awesome episode. They backed up the cameras and you got to see the sets and the crew and the studio audience and, heck, even the cameras. Joanna Kerns was even dating a hunky Spanish guy. I loved that episode.

Growing Pains
CAROL: Why are you screaming?
BEN: I don’t know! I’ve never been glued to a table before!

I guess some people would say they jumped the shark when they committed the TV sitcom cliché of adding a new kid when all the others are grown. Yep. I’m talking about Leonardo Dicraprio. A horrible skeezy actor that did not fit on my beloved show and I could not wait for them to write him out again. Ick. Ack. Yuck. Just the thought of him makes my skin crawl.

What other stars appeared on Growing Pains? How about a pre-90210 Jennie Garth (“Sticky, sticky. There’s my sticky boy.”). Pre-Full House Candace Cameron (ya, nepotism). Pre-Friends Matthew Perry (“Now you have a second chance!”). Pre-Thelma and Louise Brad Pitt. TWICE!

Growing Pains
[Upon thinking they have found evidence that their dad is divorced and assuming he has other kids:]
BEN: Dad’s other wife cuts his hair while he plays with his other kids. So they couldn’t live far away. I bet right on this street. Maybe they come over here when we are at school. And wear our clothes. And play with our stuff. [screaming] That’s why my room gets so messed up!

Ben grew up on the show. I loved when he became a teenager and he would take mom or dad’s car. Without permission. And without a license. I thought Ben grew up quite hot. But then he was wearing glasses. GLASSES! ON TV! Who does that? Except one of my other favorite people, Chandler on Friends. Get contacts, people! No character wears classes on TV unless they play chess! And even then they are FAKE DORK GLASSES!

The executive producers of Growing Pains also worked on another one of my favorite TV shows, WKRP in Cincinnati. Gordon Jump (Mr. Carlson) even played Maggie’s father on Growing Pains. There is just something about the writing and the characters on Growing Pains that makes them more relatable to me than most other shows (Relatable, get it?). I yearn to live in their world. Sure, occasionally they got robbed or got a new sibling or have to move or get cancelled. But they are always there for each other. There is always another “Goofy Glue incident” or “challenging dual role”. Unless you are cancelled. But then there is always a TV movie. Or two. Or a DVD bonus feature.

Wow. This post became about family, puberty, growing up in the 80’s, celebrities before they were stars, my hate of Leonardo DiCaprio. But, that is what Growing Pains was for me.

Everything.

*Please, oh please, DVD Gods. Make sure all the seasons of Growing Pains get released. Amen.*

R.I.P. BONER
Andrew Koenig (1968-2010)

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My Fake Family

Posted on May 24, 2012 by funnygurl2

Growing up, I was the only child of a single parent. I was creative with a very good imagination. So naturally, I always imagined having a large family. The earliest imaginary family I can remember, I had six sisters (Brady Bunch influence?) and one brother named Hellmann (Yup, like the mayonnaise). All the girls lived in the attic together (Boy, would that be totally NOT fun in real life!). Hellmann would come up and run through the room very fast and we would all spin around and our belongings would fly every which way (Yes, just like in a cartoon) and we would all yell “Hellmann!”

There were various other imaginary families after that. But once Punky Brewster debuted on NBC, it was important that I somehow work her into all my imaginary adventures. (In case it isn’t clear, I viewed myself to be Punky:) So, here is the Brewster family I created. There were so many kids with so many names, I had to make a cheat sheet family photo. Then, because I lived to draw, I made many, many family photos. I think part of it may have been to see if I could draw the same people over and over to look the same each time, like Charles Schulz did with his characters. All these pictures have just been sitting in my file cabinet for like 28 years (Yes, I save everything). In the real world, my mom is a hermit and not big on keeping in touch with family. That means, at a point in time, I knew more about these imaginary people than I have ever known about some relatively close member of my own real family.

Family Photo with names and ages.

House Floor Plan. Wow, 4 bathrooms! Must be David & Sheri got married if they started sharing a bedroom!


So, here are some pictures of my fake family. I drew them when I was young. Yes, some of the names are badly misspelled. The fashions are very 80’s. You probably can’t tell from the scan, but from the info on their T-shirts, the family seems to live in Greenville. Greenville: where families have a mom and a dad, older brothers have a nice, pretty girlfriend, younger brothers are always covered in mud, people have look-alike cousins, newborn babies eat cookies, ponytails are sideways, both grandma and grandpa are alive, and houses have four bathrooms. The burning question that remains in my mind, looking back on these pictures so many years later—why the fuck didn’t this family have a dog?!!

Oldest brother David’s girlfriend Sheri. Notice how she signed AND kissed the picture;)


Newborn picture of youngest sister “Mealisa”. I even did this picture on an index card, so that it would look smaller, like a real picture. Notice she is holding a rattle AND a cookie.


Petrisa “Punky” (me), look-alike Cousin Ann (equals twice the fun), and friend Prisilla


Older sister Julie going to a dance. Awesome 80’s fashion. Truly outrageous.


With Grandparents


Dad macking on the oldest son’s girlfriend. More awesome fashion.


Family at the hospital for birth of Mealisa.


One more. This picture is incomplete, but I felt it necessary to show that imaginary Mom could get dressed up and look damn good:)


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