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Poop Voucher

It is just something my husband started.

He would be looking for me in the house and I would be in the bathroom and he would say through the door,”Are you pooping again? Do you have a poop voucher for that?”

What is a poop voucher? I asked myself and him the same question. It is just some imaginary tool he invented to torture me with. So, then I played the game to try and get back at him.

“Are you pooping? You used up all your poop vouchers for this week (or month, etc.),” I would hassle him.

“I am borrowing from next week,” he would reply, or something equally smart ass.

There is no strict allowance or number of vouchers that you get for a time period. Because poop vouchers are entirely imaginary.

Until now.

Behold, the Poop Voucher!


In order to get back at my husband, I spent one night designing an actual poop voucher, according to what it looks like in my head. (My husband fell asleep that night before I got it done to show him.)

The next morning I showed him, and he insisted we make copies. He wanted them big. I wanted them small. I printed off a small batch and a medium batch before we felt like it was a waste of printer ink.

My husband made up some lame, arbitrary rules (he says “overly complicated and unnecessary rules”) for how to use them. Like the big vouchers could only be used Thursday through Monday, except on birthdays, religious holidays, anniversaries, reunions, etc. The little vouchers could only be used Tuesday through Monday 1:15PM EST until 11:31AM PST, with the same exceptions, also excepting February 29th of leap years and the first Thursdays of the month. (No pooping on birthdays? That’s harsh. I guess I know what I will wish for when I blow out the candles.) I laughed til I cried and told him there was no way that I could remember all that.

After my son carried a few vouchers around the house, I realized how very not water-resistant poop vouchers are. Then I laminated them with packing tape. (Yes, I realize at this point I have spent an unusually long amount of time on a product that is just an inside joke between my husband and I. But it makes for a great blog, don’t you think?)

Laminated Poop Vouchers. That is a lot of steaming piles of poo…


There is still no hard and fast number of poop vouchers to be allotted each week. We did agree as long as my son is in diapers, he is off the voucher system. We still have no collection arrangement for them–although I think my son’s shape sorter might handle this job nicely. I asked my husband just today when he came out of the bathroom,”Hey, did you use a poop voucher?”

Possible voucher collection device


“It’s in the living room,” he replied.

Why has the legend of the poop voucher persisted in our household?

I think it all comes down to the fact that it just sounds funny to say “poop voucher”. Heeheehee.

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One response »

  1. In the quiet of morning I finally got to sit and read for a few minutes. Thanks for starting my day with a giggle. 🙂

    Reply

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