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Job Applications: To Be Me or Not To Be Me?

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I applied to work at a local flower shop last week. The last page of the job application was what I refer to as “essay questions”.

They were actually appropriate for the position I was applying for, but I just automatically think up creative answers. And it took me a few minutes to come up with answers to them, so I am glad that they were written and not part of the interview!

Here are a few below and how I answered them. Would you hire me?

This is a fast paced job, dealing with lots of different emotions. What can you do to provide the customer with top quality service?

WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: Sometimes I worry that my customer service might not be good enough. Then I realize that is that will set me apart from those giving me minimal service at big chain stores. I care about the experience I will provide to someone else. At [Local Convenience Store], I provided excellent customer service every day. When I gave my notice, they begged me to stay and become an Assistant Manager.

MY EXPLANATION TO DEAR READERS: I was trying to turn a negative into a positive. And I have been trying to brag about when I left my job and they begged me to stay for years, but I can never work it into an interview. I wouldn’t mention it, but they actually tried to get me back twice–once when I gave my notice, and once while I was at the laundromat a few months later. (Hmmm. Maybe I should cut to the chase and just apply there again! I would like to think my skills have advanced a little since then, though:(

What is one thing you look forward to doing if hired?

REAL ANSWER: Buying groceries, getting a haircut, buying new underwear.

WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: I look forward to participating as a part of a team to provide the best products and service to the customer.

I have been trying to “be myself” lately during interviews and filling out applications.  Or maybe it is that I can’t help BUT to be myself.  But, alas, as I still do not have a job, maybe employers just don’t GET the real me.

Ugh!  It is like high school all over again.

Bobby Jo Jinkins

I was looking through a pile of old poems the other day and I found this gem. It is written in a similar vein of The Ballad of the Fried Squirrel and The Legend Live On, which I previously posted.

These are the rare funny poems. Most of my high school poems are about suicide. It is amazing I am still here. I could have really used some hard-core therapy my senior year of high school. Instead, I read Sylvia Plath and wrote lots of dark poems.

Enjoy this ditty!

Note: Bobby Jo Jinkins is a guy. I don’t know why I spelled the name like that.

Bobby Jo Jinkins

On a chilly autumn day,
I sat and watched the squirrels at play.
The sun shone down, bright upon the leaves
That were freshly fallen from their trees.
When all a sudden, their chatter ceased
And they ran away like pigs that were greased.
So I crept up to the leaves, to see what they’d found.
To my surprise, what was buried in that mound
Was a three-week dead, worm-eaten corpse–
It was Bobby Jo Jinkins, of course!
The story had been in the papers for days
Bobby Jo Jinkins wandered into the corn

    and got lost among the maize.

But more than corn mites had found Bobby Jo.
It looked as though his head was bashed in by a hoe.
Poor Bobby Jo, what a terrible fate for a Jinkins,
His life had been rubbed out in a blink of a blinkins.
Oh, oh. If the town could see me now
They wouldn’t believe this sight–oh wow.
No one I knew, ever believed
I could ever get Bobby Jo Jinkins alone with me

    under the trees.

(Aint life wacky?)

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