I’ve been busy this week.
This is all I have for you right now. Enjoy.*
*Note: I am a redneck on my maternal grandfather’s side.
Tag Archives: humor
What the Wha?
Taxidermy Beaver
This wacky specimen is located at the Tahquamenon Logging Museum in Newberry, Michigan. I had to take a picture of it because, well, look at it.
I hope that is not what my beaver looks like when it gets stuffed.
What I Learned This Week – 5/26/13
This week I learned that showing your kid how to theoretically wipe his butt as part of potty-training, should he ever decided to actually go in the potty, will provide you with endless LOL. I thought my son was going to wipe the skin right off his butt!
I also learned that if I leave my son in the care of others, he will survive.
He won’t be HAPPY about it…
And I will feel justified in mildly speeding on my drive home to pick him up faster.
Stupid Sandy. Always out of order:(
What I Learned This Week – 5/19/13
This week I learned that my son finds it very amusing when my mother swears.
Now, just to fill everyone in, I learned after the birth of my son, M, that if I took him with us when I took my mom for her weekly shopping, we would both stay in a better mood.
I had to take my mom shopping on Thursday night. I had worked all day and had a rough time completing my shift end paperwork, so I was in a very foul mood. My mom was in her usual “all negative” mood.
I took her shopping at Walmart, which is usually not her regular store. So, she had no idea where anything was. I hadn’t planned on buying anything, but I did pick up some large items, such as dog food and a multi-pack of papertowels.
When we loaded up my Pontiac Aztek, my mother complained, as she often does, that my car is not big enough. Now, mind you, this a car that I once used to transport items for my first-ever garage sale. I had the first 25 years of my life stacked floor to ceiling in the Aztek, and it all fit. Now, with the back seats in, there is less space. And a child seat takes up half the backseat. But, trust me, there is still oodles of space in that car. And there should be totally sufficient space for her WEEKLY shopping. That woman buys more in a week for herself than we do for a family of three.
At this time, since it was after I got out of work, it was very late and M was now in a bad/tired mood as well.
When my mom was trying to get the last of her stuff out of my backseat, the plastic bag ripped and she had trouble trying to catch her 2-liter pop bottles as they rolled under the seat. She started to swear up a blue streak. She was sooo p*ssed off.
Then M, who had been crying and whining up to this point, started to giggle at her. And he has a totally adorable 2 1/2 year old giggle. This, in turn, made my mother laugh.
It was very amusing that he found her hissy fit so entertaining.
It also reminded me why we take him along with us.
And maybe why she is still around when the doctor told her she should be dead in 2007. For moments like that.
Job Applications: To Be Me or Not To Be Me?
I applied to work at a local flower shop last week. The last page of the job application was what I refer to as “essay questions”.
They were actually appropriate for the position I was applying for, but I just automatically think up creative answers. And it took me a few minutes to come up with answers to them, so I am glad that they were written and not part of the interview!
Here are a few below and how I answered them. Would you hire me?
This is a fast paced job, dealing with lots of different emotions. What can you do to provide the customer with top quality service?
WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: Sometimes I worry that my customer service might not be good enough. Then I realize that is that will set me apart from those giving me minimal service at big chain stores. I care about the experience I will provide to someone else. At [Local Convenience Store], I provided excellent customer service every day. When I gave my notice, they begged me to stay and become an Assistant Manager.
MY EXPLANATION TO DEAR READERS: I was trying to turn a negative into a positive. And I have been trying to brag about when I left my job and they begged me to stay for years, but I can never work it into an interview. I wouldn’t mention it, but they actually tried to get me back twice–once when I gave my notice, and once while I was at the laundromat a few months later. (Hmmm. Maybe I should cut to the chase and just apply there again! I would like to think my skills have advanced a little since then, though:(
What is one thing you look forward to doing if hired?
REAL ANSWER: Buying groceries, getting a haircut, buying new underwear.
WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: I look forward to participating as a part of a team to provide the best products and service to the customer.
I have been trying to “be myself” lately during interviews and filling out applications. Or maybe it is that I can’t help BUT to be myself. But, alas, as I still do not have a job, maybe employers just don’t GET the real me.
Ugh! It is like high school all over again.
I'm not stalking you. 