What I Learned This Week – 11/17/13

Posted on November 17, 2013 by funnygurl2

This week I learned that scar tissue is less dense than regular tissue.

I found myself near my favorite tattoo place, Studio 14, this week and stopped in to get my ear lobe repierced. It got infected a few years ago and it closed up. I was sick of my earrings being at two different levels, so I figured it was time to get the situation remedied.

The guy pierced my ear with an actual needle. Previously, I had only had the piercing guns do the job. But I totally get that if you are going to be piercing strange parts of people’s bodies, it would be way easier with just a needle.

The piercing guy told me, “Oh, I can tell there is scar tissue in there. Scar tissue is less dense than regular tissue. That went through like butter.”

Um, ew. That grossed me out. Now I picture my earlobe looking like a sponge on the inside.

New earring is the fake diamond bling one.

New earring is the fake diamond bling one.

I also learned that you should never underestimate the amount of chocolate you need to buy.

Before I went to the tattoo parlor, I was shopping at an outdoor mall I had never been to before, Levis Commons. (A direct quote from my asbestos friend: “I just don’t see the logic of an outdoor mall in Ohio. They were big in Arizona, but you never had to deal with snow and rain and coats and such.” And I would say that I sort of have to agree with her.)

It wasn’t very stroller friendly, and the only stores my son & I really liked were the Crazy 8 children’s clothing store (which is like a Gymboree clearance store) and Schakolad Chocolate Factory. Hey, I just sounded out the name–funny!

Anyway, I only bought 6 pieces of chocolate at the chocolate store. And I had to share some with my son. It was more expensive than a Hershey bar from the grocery store, but totally worth it. The Milk Chocolate Red Velvet tasted just like a cake pop. The White Chocolate Lemon was also awesome. I sooo wish I had more to eat, like, right this second.

This is the empty bag from the chocolates that are long gone. But it still smells chocolatey inside!

This is the empty bag from the chocolates that are long gone. But it still smells chocolatey inside!

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A Wonderful Discovery

Posted on November 15, 2013 by funnygurl2

A few months ago I was forced to get a new cell phone.

I could not use it anymore because of the screen. Oh, I know what you are thinking, but it was not PHYSICALLY broken. One day I tried to take a picture of my son in the middle of the grocery store, and the screen just went black. (My son didn’t break it. He is not ugly, he is adorable!)

Maybe he was SO CUTE he broke the phone...

Maybe he was SO CUTE he broke the phone…

It would display the phone’s start-up images, but after that it always just went to black and stayed that way.

I am a hard core fan of “slider” phones. I bought a Kyocera Rise. It is both slider and touchscreen, so that I can train myself to use those miserable touchscreen keyboards for my next phone, when slider keyboards will be impossible to find.

This is my first phone that has APPS! I was so excited to get 3 specific apps:

1. A QR Code Reader*
* It does not always work because my camera does not seem to have auto-focus 😦

2. Moonfrye – a scrapbook app from Ms. Punky Brewster herself**
**Only available for iPhones 😡

3. Weather app with doppler***
***I actually have two of these, but one now has “my current location” stuck on my work location, not my home :O

Since I loved my new phone so, I tried experimenting with using its calendar, rather than my hard-copy paper day planner. It was an excuse to use my new phone more often. Also, I kept finding myself needing my work schedule and not having it with me. I always have my phone with me though. It seemed logical. But I didn’t like the fact that I didn’t have any way to color-code or sort my events in my calendar. It just wasn’t quite as handy as I had hoped.

Then a brilliant idea hit me –> look for a calendar app with more features!

But then I was overwhelmed by the number of calendar apps out there. Luckily the first one I tried was Cozi. Because I LOVE IT!

Don't try to read my schedule. I am not actually going to do most of those things today anyway.

Don’t try to read my schedule. I am not actually going to do most of those things today anyway.

While I still can’t color-code events, I can sort them by who will participate (me, my husband, my son, my dogs). And it also has a separate area for To-Do lists, also divided up by person. I love that it is backed up on a real website [cozi.com]. I love that it is designed for the whole family to share it (although I can’t get my husband to use it…yet). Once I realized I was going to be spending a lot of time with this app, I went ahead and paid for the ad-free upgrade with more features. Now I can send my husband email reminders, and track birthdays too.

I do with it had a section for just random notes to myself. If I think of a potential blog topic, I have to put it in my To-Do list. In my day planner, I always jotted down what my total hours worked were in a week, so that later I could compare it to my paycheck. In Cozi, I had to bastardize the shopping list function to enter my total hours. (And for now, a paper list on our refrigerator works just fine for a shopping list.)

Besides that, I really do love it. There is even a journal feature which I treat like my own personal Facebook. I put the events that are too boring for Facebook on it!

I have run into a problem with Cozi though. Now that I have entered everything imaginable into it, including my weekly TV shows I watch, I don’t get to use it as much as when I first downloaded it. But they just added a new feature for Contacts.

Hmmm. That could keep me busy for like a day.

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What I Learned This Week – 11/10/13

Posted on November 11, 2013 by funnygurl2

This week I learned that sterling silver might actually be SAFE for me to wear again!

To preface this great discovery, you would have to realize that I have a severe allergy to nickel. If you don’t know what that entails and are too lazy to click on the link, I will fill you in. Nickel has been used as a filler in jewelry, belt buckles, jeans snaps, glasses frames, and every other cheap metal product you can think of for years now. I developed an allergy to it around 1992. It involves a red, itchy rash that develops and if the contact was consistent enough, a weeping ooze.

Sounds fun, right? Why would ANYONE want to avoid that?

But, I try to.

Because of this, I have avoided sterling silver for years. And as I get confused between sterling silver, stainless steel, and surgical steel, I often find myself avoiding them all and only going with what actually states “NICKEL FREE”.

But an article I found on the Internet says that for many reasons, recently produced sterling silver should be considered safe for those with nickel allergies.

Sterling silver, by definition, is only 92.5% pure silver. (That makes sense. If it was 100%, they would just call it “silver”.) The other 7.5% is made up of a mixture of other metals that is constantly changing. (This used to regularly include nickel.) In reality, pure silver is not very desirable for jewelry, because it would be too soft.

What I found out is that since 2000, Europe has had a strict ban on nickel. (I would LOVE to shop there just for that one reason.) So, when making big batches of raw sterling silver, why would a supplier ever make something that he can’t sell in a whole huge market of the world?

Also, nickel is no longer one of the most cost-effective fillers to use.

So, to some up, nickel COULD still be in sterling silver products, but there is a good chance that it will not be.

And what did I do to celebrate this awesome discovery?

You guessed it, I shopped. Retail therapy.

Sooo cute! I hope it will provide me with years of reaction-free joy.

Sooo cute! I hope it will provide me with years of reaction-free joy.

Ugh. My joy is short-lived.  Here is more info I found…

If jewelry is silver-plated, it might be covered with a metal known as rhodium. But, guess what?  Rhodium doesn’t like to stick to sterling silver. What makes a good “glue” metal between the two? Yup, nickel. So, while a piece may not cause a reaction initially, as the rhodium coating breaks down and the nickel leeches out, it could later.

There is also jewelry with such terms as alpaca silver, German silver, paktong, and new silver. It turns out there is a HUGE CHANCE that all of these will indeed contain nickel.

I just found an article about how many foods contain Nickel.

Just shoot me now.

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Deep Philosophical Question from First Graders

Posted on November 7, 2013 by funnygurl2

A lot of people seem to be impressed with the things I can remember from my childhood. I always figure this great recall comes from the fact that I was bored and didn’t do much the first 21 years of my life, so I could replay memories of those years over and over in my head. It sort of cemented those things in my head–the good, the bad, the inaccurate.

I might be able to remember character names from Jem & the Holograms from 1989, but let me assure you that I cannot remember what I just walked into the kitchen for. I blame my son for my current state of not being able to remember even the simpliest of information.

So, how crazy is it that a joke I first heard in first grade still haunts me to this day? It is a deep philosophical question with NO GOOD ANSWER!!! And therein lies the beauty of the joke. No matter how you answer, there is a way for your classmates to laugh at you. In fact, this may have been what cemented in my mind that the world is full of a**holes.

Are you ready?

Here goes…

ARE YOU PT?

Well…Are you?

Answer “no”. No always seems like a safe assumption, right?

YOUR RESPONSE: No.

JOKE TELLER’S RESPONSE: Ew, you aren’t potty trained?!

So, the next time you get asked, you go for yes. Because if you are like 7 of course you are potty-trained (or else would lie and say that you are).

ARE YOU PT?

YOUR RESPONSE: Yes.

JOKE TELLER’S RESPONSE: You are a pregnant teenager!!!

Now, I have no idea why this joke still bothers me. I mean, in first grade no one really understands how anyone even really gets pregnant, except the teacher. And her uterus is shriveling up at an alarming rate from being around a whole classroom of other people’s snot-nosed kids everyday. And if your age is still in single digits, there is no way anyone is going to consider you a teenager.

But I think it bothers me that the question poses a no-win outcome.

And it is so advanced, you know no first grader made it up. They probably got it off the Internet. Oh, wait, no….early 1980’s…  They probably got it from an older sibling.

I always thought I should come up with an original idea of something good that “PT” could stand for to outwit them, but I never did. I am not naturally very smart-alacky. But if I spend a few hours around someone who is, I can usually pick it up and almost hold my own. (Like my brother-in-law. Or my husband’s best friend. Man, I am glad my husband isn’t like that. It is mentally draining to try to keep up with people with those gifts.)

Physics Teacher. (No wait, I HATED the physics teacher at our high school.)

Pony Trainer. (Oh, that’s just lame. See, this is hard!)

Parrot Tracker. (OK, now I am just giving up.)

So, how about you?

Are you PT?

C’mon, are you?

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What I Learned This Week – 11/3/13

Posted on November 4, 2013 by funnygurl2

This week I learned that a crunchy peanut butter and Nutella sandwich is delicious. It tastes almost like a Reese’s peanut butter cup.

But in sandwich form!

You can call it lunch!

Crunchy Peanut Butter and Nutella Sandwich

Crunchy Peanut Butter and Nutella Sandwich

And you actually need to spread on very little Nutella to get a big complimentary taste. I am not a big peanut butter fan, but we have accumulated a lot of it in our house. I feel a need to eat it up. I find I prefer crunchy to regular.

This might sound like an odd combination, but you have to realize you are listening to a person who had never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in her life. Peanut butter sandwich-yes. Jelly on toast-yes. The two substances together? That just strikes me as completely disgusting.

This week I also got to wear my Halloween costume that I have been planning for a year, and made a large portion of myself.

Curious? I will give you 3 clues.

1. She is a female.
2. Born in 1976.
3. She is three apples high (but my costume is much bigger).

Hello Kitty!

Hello Kitty costume

Hello Kitty costume

I saw a Hello Kitty outfit at a costume store last year, and that gave me the idea. But the costume looked cheap and flimsy and had like a tutu on it. I was like “I can totally make something better than that!”

Commercial Hello Kitty Costume Photo: SpiritHalloween.com

Commercial Hello Kitty Costume
Photo: SpiritHalloween.com

You should know one of my rules for a Halloween costume is that it be reusable. (I am a Capricorn, I like to get my money’s worth.) One year I invested in a short skirt, short black jacket, and gray velvet tank top. I wore them for YEARS in numerous costumes:

Slutty Witch
Pirate Wench
Slutty Fairy
Juno (I wore the skirt over jeans–I was pregnant that year)

As you might remember, last year I was Jem from Jem & the Holograms. Instead of paying big money for a slutty plastic dress made in China, I bought a pink wrap dress I could reuse on other occasions (also probably made in China). Notice I said “could” reuse. I am anti-dress for most occasions, so I have probably only worn it once since last Halloween.

Now, as you can probably guess I froze my ass off with a lot of these past costumes running around on the streets on October 31 in Michigan. Sometimes I had uncomfortable shoes on as well.

So, this new Hello Kitty costume needed to be both warm and comfortable, in addition to reusable.

I searched online and found the cutest (and reasonably cheap) Hello Kitty winter hat. The face is the most important part, and it is important that it look good. Plus, it was reusable, warm, and comfy.

Hello Kitty wears many different clothes for her many personalities, but the most iconic are her red overalls. I decided to make the overalls out of red fleece, as it does not unravel and would require less sewing. I used some denim overalls I already had as a make-shift pattern. I pinned it up and had my asbestos friend sew up the long leg seams for me. I own a sewing machine, but can’t manage to work it. Then I hand-sewed on the buttons, the button holes, the tail, and the pockets. (The Hello Kitty material I used for the pockets is supposed to help clue in those who may still have trouble figuring out my costume.) It is very warm, very comfy, but resusable? Hell ya! I am planning to use it as pajama pants.

Nice Tail!

Nice Tail!

The only people who really seemed to love it were the little girls, but that is alright. I got to wear it to Trick or Treating at the mall and around town on Halloween. Unfortunately, the weather on Halloween was windy and rainy, and the annual parade and bonfire where canceled. So, I don’t feel like I got as much mileage out of my costume as I would have liked.

Maybe I will not turn it into pajamas so quickly. Maybe I will wash it up and wear it again next year.

…It was just so dang warm!

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