Mr. Ugly-Man

Mr. Ugly-Man is the cartoon character I created myself. I can draw him very quickly, like when I would see Charles M. Shultz draw Charlie Brown or Snoopy. Mr. Ugly-Man has no TV show or movie. Yet.

This is my most favorite Mr. Ugly-Man pic.


Mr. Ugly-Man was born in a 9th grade Algebra class. The teacher (who, by the way, was the worst teacher I ever had) had hung up a sign by the door. I think it said “Free Books” or something. So, in the double O’s, I drew eyeballs and evil eyebrows. The face, hair, and body all came later.

I love Mr. Ugly-Man. I have always dreamed of getting him put on a T-shirt. When I used to make mix tapes, I would use the name “Mr. Ugly-Man” for my make-believe production company. Hasn’t everyone considered what their make-believe music production company should be named? (Oh…You say you haven’t? Uh, never mind.) I wanted Mr. Ugly-Man to become a cultural icon, like Fido Dido. (Oh…You don’t remember him? Uh, never mind.)

As I have never before had a platform to introduce Mr. Ugly-Man to the world, other than meeting doodles, I figured I would feature him in my blog. Enjoy*

*And don’t steal him, or I will sue your ass.

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Im-not-stalking-you/309900919058297

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A Tribute To Someone I Hardly Knew

When I think of Schindler’s List, I always think of a girl I went to school with named Alicia Foote.

More on that in a minute.

I met Alicia Foote in Writer’s Workshop in high school. [Then I might have thought of her as just Alicia, but now I always hear her full name in my head.] Writer’s Workshop was a wonderful class that anyone could take, from freshmen to seniors. And it was taught by one of my favorite teachers, who I sometimes believed to resemble a Panda. I thought I had him wrapped around my finger. I am sure he was totally on to me.

The first ten minutes or so of class, we were to do a free-write (wait, isn’t that what THIS VERY BLOG is? I give myself an “A”:P). The rest of the class, you could write stories, poems, etc. My asbestos friend and I ate it up. My other friend and I would eat blue raspberry blow-pops in class and turn our tongues blue.

Being the Co-Editor of the school newspaper, I spent a lot of time working on the newspaper during class. But I also found time to flirt (badly) with freshmen boys. And I became friends with a couple of freshmen girls who were in the class. One of whom was Alicia Foote. She was short with long blond hair and the biggest smile. From how I knew her, she was one of the few truly nice people I have ever known. The phrase “heart of gold” comes to mind. In any century, it is hard to find a high school student you could say that about.

So, through the year, I would talk to her in class, she wrote a little for the newspaper, and I believe I even sat with her at lunch sometimes. So, by the end of the year, when our school took five school buses of students to go see Schindler’s List in Toledo, she was sort of my friend. The seniors all claimed one bus. On the way home, after the movie and lunch, extra kids piled on to the senior bus. After all, seniors are so cool. The bus was totally overfilled. I ended up riding home on Alicia Foote’s lap. Never mind that I was three years older than her and probably 20lbs heavier, at least. She should have been on my lap, but somehow it didn’t work out that way. I still think of her like that on the bus that day.

I think the last time I saw her was when she hugged me at my graduation and my mom snapped a picture.

Alicia & I together on the occassion of my high school graduation.

Alicia & I together on the occassion of my high school graduation.

I believe she graduated in 1997. She is totally the type of person I would look up on Facebook to be friends with today. But I can’t. She died in a car accident a year or two after her graduation. She had a baby, who survived because of it’s car seat. And who will never know what a great person it’s mom was.

And yes, I cried writing this. Writing about a girl I barely knew. Who has been dead for years and probably forgotten about by half her own classmates. But I think I cry more for the loss of the kind of person I envisioned she could have grown up to be. A good, kind person. The world needs more people like that.

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Oh No You Don’t Go Stealin’ My Piece of Road!

Sorry for the lapse in posting. My son had some medical tests and appointments. And we received very good results, so then I got busy emailing people that their good thoughts had yielded a good result.

Passing Lanes. WTF?

Where I live in Michigan, they expand a two way highway to have an additional “Passing Lane”, sometimes on one side of the road, sometimes on both. This usually happens on a main route that is not an expressway.

I HATE THEM!!! I think the envisioned purpose was to allow vehicles going the speed limit to more easily pass vehicles going slower than the speed limit, without having to face oncoming traffic. All they do is allow people who want to speed a chance to pass people doing the speed limit! They are usually preceded with signs that say “Slower Traffic Stay Right”. That makes some sense. That is how it is supposed to work on an expressway. But here are the two things that usually happen when you approach a Passing Lane:

1. People traveling the speed limit merge right. Then when the lane ends and they need to merge back left again, all the fast people will not let them back in. So, you are penalized for following the law.

2. EVERYONE SPEEDS UP. Everyone hits the Passing Lane, and the drivers who were doing 45mph speed up to 55mph. The drivers who were doing 55mph speed up to 65mph. And no one ever gets around anyone, and when the passing lane disappears, the whole line of traffic is in exactly the same order it was to start with.

So, you say you want to know what I do when I come to a Passing Lane? Well, everything in this post runs through my head and I get a little angry. Then I stay in the left most lane, doing the speed limit (or the Basic Speed Law, it if is dark & rainy. Don’t know what the Basic Speed Law is? YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON THE ROAD!!!). Then, when I get to the end of the Passing Lane, I do not need to merge anywhere. I was going as fast as was allowed by law, I stayed in the speedier lane, and I don’t have to fight to get my piece of road back when merge time comes. Winning.

Roundabouts? Oh Hell. Do not get me started on those.

New Year’s Resolutions – 2012 Edition

My first New Year’s resolution for the year 2012 is Total Health. This does not mean that I am going to stop eating and chain myself to a treadmill. Although, my waistline would benefit from such behavior after my “It’s Christmas, I can eat whatever I want”, “It’s my birthday, I can eat whatever I want”, and “My son is having surgery, I can eat whatever I want” attitude. No, Total Health is a manifestation for my family to not get sick or need surgery in this year or the ones to come in the future. This also includes my dogs, as Parker snuck in surgery in 2011 between the surgeries of my son.

My second resolution for 2012 is Financial Fitness. (Or should that have been Total Fitness & Financial Health?) I want my household’s incoming income to be less than the outgoing payments and bills. I want us to have an obscenely huge emergency savings fund. Or, more reasonably, at least begin our obscenely huge emergency savings fund this year and fertilize it to grow in the years to come.

My third resolution for 2012 will probably be the hardest to keep; more so than spontaneous good health and a job in the middle of a horrible recession. I want to Buy American. As much as possible.

It is hard to find Made in the USA products on the shelves of our stores. But I need to take a moment to step back & realize when I could search for the same product online. Or when I am ordering from a catalog (who DOES that anymore?), to only order products that say “Made in the USA” and not the items that say “Imported”. The only website I have found so far is The Made in America Store https://www.saveourcountryfirst.com/. I have not yet ordered from them, so I cannot vouch for their quality or service. But I deeply feel like their cause is a good one. Imagine how much money we could pump into the United States economy if we all bought just one more item Made in the USA in 2012.

Happy New Year everyone!

Rating Hospital Rooms

I have spent a lot of time in hospital rooms over the past year and one month. In three different hospitals. In two different states. It seems only right to write a blog where I rate them, as my husband and I are constantly comparing them in our heads anyway.

Apparently the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital has been totally rebuilt and has only had the new building open for about three weeks. The room is a nice size. There is plenty of room for a crib, stroller, the sleep chair, and the obligatory rolling hospital table. There is also a couch that folds into a twin bed. In our twelfth floor room is a half-window which overlooks…a cemetery. Kinda morbid.

There is a super fancy multi-media TV system in the room. It lets you watch television, get on the Internet, watch a few pre-selected family movies, and watch videos on hand-washing. But you either have to use a keyboard to navigate it or the TV remote. If I am holding my son (which is all he wants after being sliced open), I can’t put a keyboard in my lap and it is hard to use the TV remote when it is attached by a cord to the wall—on the OTHER side of the crib. Also, there is Surround Sound. That makes it very difficult to watch TV while my kid is sleeping. Also, the speaker on the TV remote has static –very sad considering it is supposedly only three weeks old. And it is missing obviously useful buttons such as “mute” and “closed captioning”.

The fold-out couch has a design flaw where you can’t lay too close to the back of it. The bathroom is private with a shower, but it is made so that you could probably use the toilet and take a shower at the same time. The rooms also have a wall of windows open to the hallway. There is a curtain you can pull, but we all know that it is opened again as soon as the first nurse pops in. It makes you feel a bit like a zoo animal.

The Toledo Children’s Hospital can go either way. You can end up with a room no bigger than a closet—so small there isn’t even room for the obligatory rolling hospital table. So small it has a tiny shared bathroom, no shower.

You can end up with an average room, which will barely hold a crib, two sleeper chairs, a stroller, and the obligatory rolling table. It had a roomy private bathroom, but no shower. There was a shared parent shower available. Which can be very inconvenient if you stay multiple nights with your child.

If you are super lucky, you will get one of the new rooms at the Toledo Children’s Hospital. They have a full wall window, a couch that converts into a double bed, a bathroom with a tub and shower, and a large flat-screen TV. That room felt like a hotel. Especially since by the time we got into that room my son wasn’t very sick and the staff mostly left us to ourselves. OK. Correction, like a VERY EXPENSIVE HOTEL.

The most spacious hospital room I have ever had the pleasure of staying in was in the maternity ward at Bixby Medical Center in Adrian, Michigan, when my son was born. There was a hospital bed, obligatory rolling table, a small round dining table, two chairs at it, two rocking chairs, a fold out couch, and an entertainment center. At one point, we had an electric wheelchair and a wide wheelchair in there too yet. It also had a private bathroom with a shower stall.

You will notice that I only rated the rooms themselves, and not the service. I believe your service depends on who your nurse or doctor is and what their mood is that day. I have noticed that you can ask any employee at Toledo Hospital how to get somewhere within the hospital and they will not only help you, they might walk you there personally. At U of M Hospital, I have asked people how to get to the main cafeteria and where the billing department is. Both people said they would let me know…I am still waiting for that information.