Category Archives: Entertainment Worship & Review

Book Review: The Weirdest Family

I ordered this book from Amazon several months ago. It traveled around my house. I finally got a spot of time to read this delightful story.

Click picture to purchase

Click here to purchase

The Weirdest Family is a children’s chapter fantasy book that focuses on a family made up of Abby the mom, Charlie the dad, Tesi the teenager, and Eliza precocious little sister. This book tends towards supernatural flights of fancy, so it comes in handy that there is an unknown narrator to keep the story on track.

And I am pretty sure the author must like sandwiches and nachos and fruit. They are mentioned several times.

You might think that you cannot have a gratifying book that includes zombies, vampires, mummies, super senses, God, and a baby man-eating bat. There are also aliens, and an apocalypse. But, once Tesi gets a palace for her birthday, it all begins to come together. Because, after all, don’t the most unusual families live in palaces?

And just when you think the story has come to a close, you turn the page, start a new chapter and a new adventure. This book is truly fantastical.

I didn’t just stumble across this book. A good friend of mine, who happens to have only been 9 years old at the time of publication, wrote it. I could never have written anything this impressive (let alone long) at her age.

I cannot imagine being 9 years old and seeing my book that I wrote for sale on Amazon. (There was no Internet, and therefore no Amazon when I was that age.)

But I WANT TO. I hunger, thirst, ache, crave, yearn to have my writing displayed like that for the world to partake of. (Thank you, thesaurus.com.)

To sum up, the title says it all. This is, indeed, The Weirdest Family. I also found them quite entertaining.

Oh My God, This Is My Song

“Play It Again” by Luke Bryan is totally stuck in my head.  All day long.

It is the only song  I want to hear right now.  Constantly.

I scanned all the country channels my whole way home in the car looking for it.  Which is ironic, because that is what the whole damn song is about.   And if the girl in the song had a fully-charged cell phone on her with a strong signal, she could just play the song again and again. But that is part of the song’s charm.  It has a very traditional country sound.  The lyrics are pretty traditional as well.

I grew up on late 70’s & 80’s country. That is the sound I like best. This song might be the beginning of a Country renaissance for me. I haven’t listened to Country music regularly since 2000. That is pretty much when I discovered Kid Rock.

She was like, oh my God, this is my song
I’ve been listenin’ to the radio all night long
Sittin’ ’round waitin’ for it to come on and here it is*

How many days and nights have I been this girl? And how many other girls out there have been in the same situation? And how has NO ONE written this song years ago?

Watch the video on YouTube below…

* Written by Ashley Gorley

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.

The other day I was was at work when my husband texted me a great find from Walmart.

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. DVD

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. DVD

On DVD!

The entire series!

For only $13!

Wait, what? Doesn’t anyone realize what a GREAT show this was? $13 is totally under-valuing it.

Haven’t heard of it? Let me fill you in.

“The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.” to the casual observer was a comedy-western with a weird name that debuted on FOX in 1993, starring the guy from “Evil Dead”. If you actually watched a few episodes, you would realize it was actually a sci-fi western (Yes, ahead of its time) starring Bruce Campbell, in a role he was born to play. The supporting cast is stellar as well.

Bruce Campbell as Brisco County, Jr.

Bruce Campbell as Brisco County, Jr.

The late Julius Carry as Lord Bowler, who every week got referred to as “Brisco’s sidekick”, and he always objected to that. The great Kelly Rutherford as showgirl Dixie Cousins, who has Brisco’s heart. This is where she went when Homefront got cancelled. It’s no wonder I have trouble picturing her in the 21st century. I only know her from period pieces. John Astin is crazy wonderful as always as a professor with very progressive ideas. Christian Clemenson as Socrates Poole provides a good does of uptightness and bureaucracy to all the chaos. Billy Drago is sooo evil as John Bly. But I won’t get into him just yet. Oh, and don’t forget Comet the wonder horse.

I can remember standing outside on a hot, August evening as the sun was just thinking about setting, my mom and I talking to our neighbors. Their two young boys ran around as we talked. Then we all agreed that we needed to end our face-to-face interaction to go into our respective houses, because, as the neighbors put it, we “had to go in and watch the cowboy movie”. I knew that Brisco was a series premiere and not a movie. I am not sure that the neighbors knew that.

Random hot picture of Bruce Campbell

Random hot picture of Bruce Campbell

My mom and I watched Brisco every week. It was one of the few shows that we agreed on, although I am sure she probably always fell asleep before it ended. The show was packed with great characters and repeatable catch phrases, such as “Don’t touch Pete’s piece” and “The coming thing”. “The coming thing” was an obsession of Brisco’s. It was actually a device for the writers to work in modern (1990s) elements into a show set in the 1890’s. It was also a wink to the upcoming turn of the century. “The coming thing” included nods to hamburgers, motorcycles, sunglasses, tanks, rockets, and drive-thru windows.

The plot of the show was that Brisco County, Jr. was a bounty hunter tracking John Bly’s gang, who had killed his father the famous marshall, Brisco County. Within this framework, every week there was a new person to help or mystery to solve. But trailing John Bly led Brisco to a mystical object known as the orb. The orb would play a major part in the show’s mythology.

I got the opportunity to meet Bruce Campbell in person. Twice.

Books by Bruce Campbell

Books by Bruce Campbell

The first time he was signing his book “If Chins Could Kill” at Borders in downtown Ann Arbor. I bought two copies to get signed. One for me, and one for my mom’s friend Janet Jackson. (Yes, that is her name.) When I told him to make the one book out to Janet, he asked who she was. So then I went into an explanation of how Janet and my mom had gone to high school together. And how Janet’s husband Donald Jackson used to make low budge movies in Michigan, and did Bruce remember that he used to call him for work? He was like “Oh ya, Don Jackson.” And he said it like he really did remember him. (Don’t look up Donald Jackson’s work. His film credits aren’t that impressive.)

Later, a chick I worked with bragged about getting to talk to Bruce just before he went out to sign. But I’m pretty sure my personal connection with him was way more impressive.

Bruce Campbell's autograph

Bruce Campbell’s autograph

The second time, Bruce came to the Borders corporate office to promote his second book, “Make Love The Bruce Campbell Way”. He was very nice both times.

The great part is, he has been on a million shows and movies. It makes playing six degrees of separation a lot easier. Just think about that Bruce was in all of the Toby Maguire “Spiderman” movies (in awesome cameos, I might add). He was in both “Xena: Warrior Princess” and “Hercules”. I can connect myself to all the cast members of “The O.C.” through Bruce Campbell and Kevin Sorbo. (Wilson Bethel, that only makes me four degrees away from YOU!!!)

…AND only two degrees away from Matthew Perry!!!

If you have the opportunity to check out “The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.” at a bargain rate, I highly encourage it. If you like really gory, gross stuff, watch “Evil Dead” or “Army of Darkness” (I do not). If you like funny parodies of gory, gross stuff, watch the movie “My Name is Bruce.”

What I Learned This Week – 8/10/14

This week I learned that the going rate for used cars these days in Southeastern Michigan is around $10,000 for 100,000 miles.

Considering I was looking for a car with less than 100,000 miles and had no money, I found that rather disconcerting. I also wanted a car newer than 2004, and that sat high.

As many of you know, my dream has always been to own a Jeep. At the first dealership we visited, there was a Jeep! A CJ-5. That was manual. From 1975.  And not for sale. It turned out it was the salesman’s car. We still somehow scored a ride in it from him around the parking lot. He implied his virility many times by mentioning all of his numerous kids and grandkids. He also showed my husband the battery in his back for pain management (T.M.I.!).

Next we ended up test-driving an H3. I think they look better than the 4 door Jeep Wrangler. When I drove it, I felt powerful. I kept growling and making Tim Allen macho sounds. My husband liked it a lot more than I thought he would. But the sticker price was too high. And I couldn’t even imagine the cost of new tires for that thing!

The H3 that we test drove.

The H3 that we test drove.

There were lots of Ford Explorers and Escapes on the lots. I thought I might end up with one of them. I was really only interested in the Explorer for its movie cred–Ford Explorers were the vehicles in Jurassic Park. I credit that movie with starting the sales boom in SUVs in the 1990’s. If it can outrun dinosaurs, imagine what it could do in a volcano eruption or zombie attack…

So what did I end up getting?

Well, it IS a Jeep. Just not my red Wrangler that I dream of. Not yet, anyway.

It is a 2011 Jeep Patriot. It is newer with less miles than I had thought I would be able to find. A pleasant surprise.

2011 Jeep Patriot that I took home.

2011 Jeep Patriot that I took home.

It is sooo weird to have a new car after almost 11 years.

You know what you have to do when you get a new car, right? You have to take a trip with it.

The Movie The Terminator Is Actually A Love Story

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No, I have NOT lost my mind. Yet.

It took me a long time to realize this, what with the evil robots, dystopian future, car chases, and death—things I do not normally look for in a movie choice. But I found myself watching The Terminator over and over again.

One day I realized that the scenes that hit me the hardest were the ones between Sarah Conner and Kyle Reese.

Sarah Conner (Linda Hamilton) is young and innocent. She is put into danger. Emotionally damaged (and hot) Sergeant Tech-Com Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) shows up from the future to rescue her. He is like a knight in shining armor. Except, of course, he showed up naked in a ball of energy, then stole a homeless guy’s pants. Details, details.

Reese saving Sarah Connor in Terminator

Reese saving Sarah Connor in The Terminator

Most of the movie, she only refers to him by his last name. The first time she spots Reese, she fears he might be a killer, so she quickly escapes away from him to a public place. The next time she sees Reese, he is loading up the future governor of California with bullets. As she runs screaming from the building, Reese pulls up in a car in front of her and screams one of the most romantic lines in the movie:

“Come with me if you want to live!”

You can say a lot of things about James Cameron, but you can’t doubt this this franchise is highly quotable. This line is used in most of the following movies, and is sometimes used in other pop culture references as well.

Kyle is crazy protective of Sarah. Sure, it’s his job. But then we see him in the future, back from a dangerous mission, sweaty and dirty, studying her face in a worn picture. He longs for her, just by looking at her picture. Cut to him gently brushing the hair off her face as she sleeps with her head in his lap. (I bet he is rocking a bad case of morning wood.) When they get up to leave, he gives Sarah his coat. Always hot.

Reese (Michael Biehn) in The Terminator

Reese (Michael Biehn) in The Terminator

Later, when danger takes a break for them to hold up in a sleazy hotel room together, Sarah asks Reese if he has a girlfriend in the future. He admits that he has never been with a woman. From what he has already told her about the future, she knows it is not a place where love is treasured, only survival. Reese tells Sarah about the picture. He says:

“You seemed just a little sad. I used to always wonder what you were thinking at that moment. I memorized every line, every curve. I came across time for you Sarah. I love you; I always have.”

Panties melting.

He STALKED her through time!

We find out at the end of the movie that in the picture, she was thinking about him, and their one night of [unprotected] love-making together.

Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) in Terminator

Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) in The Terminator

It is touching later when Sarah has to yell at a badly wounded Reese using terminology from his world to get him moving out of the path of the now nakid Terminator.

“On your feet, soldier!”

It is heartbreaking when he parishes trying to save her. Now we know. She was not just a military mission, but a mission of the heart.

[Did that make you throw up in your mouth a little? Good. Am I getting my point across?]

Terminator 2 has no romance at all. It is all action and scary melting cops. I don’t like that one and almost never watch it.

Terminator 3 I think of as romantic, but I don’t think that it actually is. I think I just like Nick Stahl and Clair Danes in it, but they don’t really have much chemistry. I like Claire Danes in My So-Called Life, but I don’t think she was the right person to cast opposite Nick Stahl. Her strength of personality overpowers his wounded rebellion against his future.

T3 sets it up, that John Conner (Stahl) and Kate Brewster (Danes) once made out at a party together, and she has never quite gotten over it. Her father is a general in the Air Force, who has first hand access to Skynet, a dangerous factor leading to Judgement Day. That is how the script reads, but most of the time on screen she is giving John the unfriendly stink face. Imagine her surprise when John shows up in the vet clinic where she works. Kate locks him in a cage. This makes for one of the cutest Nick Stahl scenes ever. I love the scene where Kate looks down on John in the dog kennel.

Conner in a cage

Conner in a cage

Stahl has mastered the wounded look. That is what made him so good as a child in “The Man Without A Face.” He just looks so pathetic (-ally hot) trapped in that cage. Maybe they hired him so that his wounded look would remind us of his father, Reese. The difference is that I believe Reese could be a kick-butt soldier when he needed to be. I don’t really believe that Stahl’s John Conner could ever lead a revolt. But, I like him in this movie well enough. I have read that Shane West was up for the role.  After my recent Nikita-fest, I have to say that maybe he would have been better.  No matter, there needs to be more sex in this movie.

I realize that almost no one saw Terminator 3. But I saw it in the theater. Twice. And for not having James Cameron involved with it, it had kick ass action sequences. The best one is between Arnold’s outdated Terminator in a firetruck, and the slutty T-X in a mobile crane. And I don’t just mean it is the best action sequence in T3, or all the Terminators. I think it is the best action sequence of any movie ever. (Transformers? Lord of the Rings? There is so much happening at once that I have to look away from those movies, or I will not get a headache. And, well, I don’t really care about any of those characters.)

Terminator: Salvation was just ick. All action, and no character development. It is how Terminator will be when they reboot it someday. Or maybe that is what this movie was supposed to be. I can’t even tell. That is how bad it is. And I don’t like Christian Bale. In anything. Not even Newsies or Swing Kids (although both of them are decent movies).

I liked how in the TV series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, they gave Kyle Reese a brother, Derek. It made me feel better, that Kyle was not all alone in the horrible, nasty future being chased by robots. He had a brother’s support, someone to lean on. I liked that the brother was played by Brian Austin Green. I was very happy that he had gotten much hotter in the years since Beverly Hills 90210.

Brian Austin Green as Derek Reese

Brian Austin Green as Derek Reese

Kyle Reese is a bad-ass soldier, but he isn’t all muscled up like a football player. That is the villain. I like that Reese is vulnerable. Cameron shows us Reese’s past scars the first time he appears on camera. Each time he is hit or shot, it weakens him more. Not only do we see that he is physically vulnerable, but then we learn that his heart is vulnerable as well. This is true toward Sarah, but also when he talks about fighting alongside John Conner, John’s trust, his strength. We get the idea that Reese loved him like a brother. When really, well, John was Reese’s son. And John Conner would have always known that.  It is too bad that Reese would never know John as his son.

I have seen mentioned where they are making a 5th Terminator movie. I peeked at the cast. Kyle will not longer be vulnerable everyman. He will be Mr. Muscles Macho Man. Sigh. Where can a girl watch a nice wimpy guy get it on in a movie anymore these days? My demographic is under-serviced.

A Terminator movie today is just not as impressive as it was in 1984, or even 1991. The Terminator was one of the first moves to introduce us to this idea of the computers as our enemies. The effects were cutting edge for their time. Now, giant CG machines are trying to save us or kill us or both every week in the theaters. I think the only way anyone could stand to attempt to recapture the magic of the original story is to make the humans and their love story just as important as the machines again.

That is how I would do it, anyway.