Category Archives: A day in the life

I LOVE SPORKS!

It's  a spoon?  It's a fork?  No, it is AWESOME!

It’s a spoon? It’s a fork? No, it is AWESOME!

I love sporks!

I have ever since I went to a Tupperware party with my mom when I was like five years old and I got a long yellow spork as the “thanks-for-coming” freebie gift. I used it for years, especially to consume hard-to-eat dishes like Spaghetti O’s. It got discolored orange from all the tomato sauce.

Then, alas, one day it snapped in two. It was a very sad day:(

And so, except for the occassional Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner, I went sporkless for years. It was a hole that remained in my heart for a long time.

Then, around the time I got my own apartment, my mom found me some sporks!

They were yellow Pikachu sporks. They were meant to be a party supply for a children’s birthday party. I think the package came with eight. I hoarded them, only using two at a time. And they seemed to last forever.

Then, the toddler came along.

Ten year old disposable forks that have gone through the dishwasher, been put in the fridge, and multiple uses, just do not hold up to the destructive throw-down of a two-year old.

With only three remaining Pikachu’s left, I went on a mission for more sporks. I found the blue ones you see above in the camping area at Walmart (Usually I take this opportunity to boast about Meijer, but they let me down on my mission for sporks).

As I began to imagine the future of these brand new blue plastic sporks ending in breakage as well, I dreamed of a metal spork.

With a simple Google search, look what I turned up:

BEHOLD! The Titanium Spork! In trendy colors!

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork Photo: Amazon.com

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork
Photo: Amazon.com


http://www.amazon.com/Snow-Peak-Colored-Titanium-Utensil/dp/B004T2YPN8/ref=lh_ni_t?ie=UTF8&psc=1

So awesome! I must own one of these! And I love the reviews that say it also makes a great gift. Watch out, friends and family. Next Christmas will be SPORKTACULAR!

I also loved the reviews because, I realized for the first time, I AM NOT ALONE! There are other spork lovers out there!

From an Amazon review by EJ on the same page linked above:

“It’s a TITANIUM SPORK. If you can’t appreciate the glory of that, then I can’t think of anyting that I can say that would help.”

Oh, but upon further searching, check this spork out! It is called the “Apocalypspork”! It claims to be “flat wear that will last you through the apocalypse” and good to “ram through a zombie skull”.

Photo: americankami.com/swag.html
Head over there to purchase
(Note: I have never purchased from this website.)

Gay Little Tootle

Some people can critique classic works of literature until the cows come home. Whole college courses can be based on picking apart the subtext of a single book. I am not one of these people. I needed Cliff Notes to make sense of Othello.

I do see an underlying theme when I read the children’s book “Tootle” to my son. In a general sense, I believe it is trying to teach children to follow everyone else and do not dare to be different or yourself.

I believe more specifically that the purpose of the story is to convince those that might have gay tendencies that they should “stay on the tracks” and lead a heterosexual life. I will attempt to showcase my points below.

TOOTLE, by Gertrude Crampton, Random House, 1945.  All Rights Reserved.

TOOTLE, by Gertrude Crampton, Random House, 1945. All Rights Reserved.

Synopsis: Tootle attends the Lower Trainswitch School for Locomotives, but soon is distracted from his studies when he realizes he enjoys playing in the meadow more than staying on the tracks.

CHOICE OF WORDS

On the first page of the Little Golden Book edition is the following:

“The young locomotives steam up and down the tracks, trying to call out the long, sad TooOooot of the big locomotives. But all they can do is a gay little Tootle.

About halfway through the book is the line:

“It’s queer. It’s very queer, but I found grass between Tootle’s front wheels today.”

Now, I am not stupid. I know that the words “gay” and “queer” were not exclusively used to describe homosexuals in 1945, as we tend to use them today. But, both words in the same story? Add that together with the overall story, and I feel like the presence of these two words helps to prove my point.

SYMBOLISM

What is Tootle’s impetuous for leaving the tracks he knows that he is not supposed to leave, no matter what?

A horse.

Not just any horse. “A fine, strong black horse.”

It just sounds like Tootle was rolling past a gay bar (rather than the meadow in the book), and was seduced off the path of good (the tracks representing heterosexuality) into a life of filth and shame.

“When Tootle got back to school, he said nothing about leaving the rails. But he thought about it that night in the roundhouse.”

What else was he doing at night in the roundhouse as he thought about it?

Tootle comes upon a meadow full of buttercups.

He exclaims “How I should like to play in them and hold one under my searchlight to see if I like butter!”

To me, this symbolizes Tootle wanting to try out the gay lifestyle. In the next breath, his conscience is saying to him “Do you like butter? Do you? It is almost like the writer is implying he hears evil voices in his head, like when the little devil stands on your shoulder in a carto0n. Except apparently Tootle’s devil is in his wheels.

I mean, why would an engine ever say that? Even an anthropomorphic engine in a book. Thomas would never go off his tracks (intentionally).

There is lots of dancing whenever Tootle goes off the tracks into the meadow. And Tootle also seems to always wear flower chains while he is dancing in the meadow. Like he has to put on his club clothes before he goes out dancing or something.

Tootle is seen chasing butterflies by the Mayor. Is that 1940’s code for “fairy”?

The whole town has to come together to get him back on track (Get it?). They use red flags to stop him from continuing his meadow-playing ways. It makes me think of church folk telling him he will go to hell (Beware the RED flags!) if he continues down his sinful, trackless path.

The tracks. I can’t help but think, since Tootle is a male engine, that the tracks must symbolize his path to the female vagina? If it was “queer” and “fun” for him to play off the tracks in the meadow, then the normal route down the tracks must be boring and average.

THE MORAL

The book starts of and ends with Tootle being told to aspire to be a “Flyer”. The Flyer is fast. Probably too fast to ever have time to think about getting off the tracks.

Once reformed, Tootle exclaims:

“This is the place for me. There is nothing but red flags for locomotives that get off their tracks.”

He learns to “Stay on the Rails No Matter What”. As in, stay on the track to the life you are supposed to lead, the heterosexual one.

Embrace conformity! For it is the only way!

My son loves Thomas and all things trains, but I feel bad reading this book to him.

I mismatch my socks every day. I used to have three piercings in two ears. I have tattoos. I got married in jeans. I wear my wedding ring on my right hand. I live my life as “anti-conformity” as I can, while still being overly responsible and dependable.

If it leads him to a better path, I want my son to leave the tracks. I want him to follow the path in his heart, not what the Lower Trainswitch School for Locomotives (school) tells him, not what the townspeople (religion, society) tell him, if it is different from what is in his heart.*

I heard this story as a child, and thought nothing of it.  Now it perturbs me every time I hear my husband reading it to my son.

Maybe it is time for this children’s story to be retired.

 

* Except he is NEVER to become a vegetarian.  That is just not cool.

Oh Look! There is Paco!

To understand this post, you will have to realize that my mom and I LOVE entertainment trivia. We love to find an actor or actress in a television show or movie that we already know from another project. It is even more fun when it is an old show you are watching and you find someone who has since become famous. (This is the 50% of my mother that I love. See People of Interest if you don’t get this percentage reference.)

This all started before there was an Internet, before there was an IMDB.com. While IMDB is handy, it sort of takes the fun out of having to memorize all these actors and roles. My mom doesn’t have a computer and I am usually too lazy to turn mine on just to verify a past role, so we usually do things the old fashioned way–with our brains.

In this way, my mom and I have a code for certain actors. No one else would know who we mean.

This drives my husband nuts.

I will include the most often used nicknames below:

BIG BROTHER

Eric Allan Kramer
Photo: comicbookmovie.com/fansites/CookiepussProduction/

There used to be a short-lived sitcom on television called “Down Home”, which starred Judith Ivey, Dakin Matthews, and Gedde Watanabe. On the show, there was a big burly blond guy who played Judith Ivey’s brother. I don’t even know if he WAS her BIG brother. But this role was played by Eric Allan Kramer. Ever since, we just refer to him as “The Big Brother”. He also was in “Robin Hood: Men in Tights”, and often plays a bodyguard (such as on the most excellent “Growing Pains”). He was also on another of my favorites, “The O.C.” (as Ryan & Luke’s soccer coach). Kramer is great in whatever he does. Currently he stars on Disney Channel’s “Good Luck Charlie”.

CLAIRE DANES

Laura Prepon
Photo: Wikipedia.org

My mom started this nickname. One time she was like “You know, that big redhead from ‘That 70’s Show’. Claire Danes!” Although I quickly assured her that that role was not in fact played by Claire Danes, the nickname has stuck. So, anytime my mom or I see actress Laura Prepon in something, we say “Hey, it’s Claire Danes.”

HONEY & FRISKY

Photo: Lucywho.com

Photo: Lucywho.com

Photo: tvlistings.zap2it.com

Photo: tvlistings.zap2it.com

This one is my fault. I frickin’ loved the 1990’s television show “Homefront”. One time I was trying to tell my mom about a storyline with the black servant couple on the series. I couldn’t remember their names, so I just called them “Honey & Frisky”. The name has stuck. The actual names were Gloria (played by Hattie Winston) and Abe Davis (played by Dick Anthony Williams). They are both very excellent actors. Honey went on to be a series regular on “Becker” with Ted Danson. IMDB.com just gave me the terrible news that Frisky died last February:( See what I mean? IMDB.com can be a blessing and curse.

CHARLIE’S STALKER

Melanie Lynskey  Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris – © WireImage.com

Melanie Lynskey
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris – WireImage.com

My mom used to watch “Two and a Half Men” pretty regularly, although I am guessing grandmothers in their 60s are not their target demographic. She seemed to be fond of Jake (Angus T. Jones), until he recently got all crazy Kirk Cameron religious. My mom ain’t down with that shit. But because my mom watched that show, now actress Melanie Lynskey will forever be known to us as “Charlie’s Stalker”. Which I must say is a lot shorter than saying “There is the chick who had her baby in a bar”, referencing one of my favorite movies, “Sweet Home Alabama”. Lynskey was also in “Coyote Ugly”, another of my favorites. She was very good as a disturbed teenager in Peter Jackson’s “Heavenly Creatures”, her first role. She is probably the best in the role we will forever identify her with, Rose, Charlie’s Stalker.

PACO

Carlos Lacamara Photo: IMDb.com

Carlos Lacamara
Photo: IMDb.com

What of the Paco in the title, you ask? Once upon a time on NBC there was a little show called “Nurses”. It was a little, unassuming show that could be easily forgettable. Actor Carlos Lacamara played Paco on the show. Paco was always in romantic pursuit of one of the nurses (I don’t remember her name or face. Go figure.). Paco has worked A LOT in television and movies. My mom & I will always be “Hey, that’s Paco!” I always add “Paco! I love Paco!” Sidenote: Paco also played a character named Paco in the memorable episode of “Night Court” with all the pregnant chicks. Sometimes I have a little crush on Paco. He was also in episodes of some of my favorite shows, such as “Misfits of Science” (subject of a future post), “Growing Pains”, and “Friends”. Also was in the movies “License to Drive” and “Independence Day”.

I am sure there are way more of these type of nicknames, but I can’t remember anymore right now. These are the big ones. If I come up with a long enough list of actors I forgot, then I will make another post.

1/13/13
MOM: Am watching independence [day]. Think I saw paco. 12:05PM
MOM: Is Paco Carlos LaCamara? 2:32PM
ME: Yes. 2:33PM
MOM: Then he is in Indep Day. 2:34PM

I don’t usually reblog other’s posts on my blog, but I thought this one about being sentimental about outdated technology (I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, ANALOG!) was worth sharing.

Funky Friday!

As seeing Hello Kitty always makes me smile, this picture always makes me giggle. It is dirty, in a very elementary school way.

Enjoy!

Heeheehee.

Heeheehee.