What I Learned This Week – 1/6/2013

This week I learned that taxes are all about rules (I LOVE rules!)…except for the exceptions (I HATE exceptions!).

For the last five days (including this morning) I took a 20 hour free tax class (i.e. unpaid training) for a potential tax preparation job (that I have to test high enough to get).

The media has banged the drum this week that employment is up. I think the 15 strangers sitting in a room for four hours a day on their own time for a 50/50 chance at a job shows that there is no improvement in my area of the country.

I also learned that in cases of divorced parents, if the child is treated as the qualifying child of the noncustodial parent, the noncustodial parent can claim an exemption and the child tax credit for the child, and the custodial parent can claim the child as a qualifying child for head of household filing status, the credit for child and dependent care expenses, and the earned income credit.

Did your head explode yet?

I am thankful for this potential job opportunity. But it totally drives me nuts to be learning this huge wealth of knowledge and not know whether I will actually be able to put it to use or not.

Candy Bar Diet

NOTE: My original idea. All rights reserved.

If you steal my idea and make millions from it, I will sue your ass. And that will probably be easier than if I just tried to make millions off my idea myself.

A few years ago, I created a Candy Bar Diet. I think it is a brilliant idea. Most people don’t understand it.

The core of the diet is to track the calories you eat in a day using the magnetic, dry-erase Handy Dandy Candy Board, featured in the back of the book that explains the diet. The Handy Dandy Candy Board uses adorable candy bar magnets to track the calories you eat in a day. I created a mock up that I used myself. It was much more fun than keeping a food diary.

The following are the excerpts from the book and pictures of the mock-up.

Handy Dandy Candy Board – Daily calorie tracker and goal  © not-quite-a-diet 2010

Introduction:

Candy Bar Calorie Counter

It’s “not-quite-a-diet”

How It Works

Candy bars (the normal sized ones here, no cheating with King-sized) are generally average out to be 230 calories. No matter what you eat in a day, you know you are always thinking: Can I still squeak in a candy bar?  Of course you can!  Especially if you think of all your calorie counting in terms of candy bars!

Start off with the maximum number of calories you want to collect in your flabby body in a day.  Let’s say 1600 calories.  Divide that by the average calories in a candy bar: 230 calories.  That would mean you could eat calories equal to 7 candy bars in a day.  And now with the dry erase, magnetic Handy Dandy Candy Board, it is easy to track to your daily goal.

Examples

That 20oz of Coke you just drank with 240 calories?  That equals a candy bar.  The honey bun you ate for breakfast at 460 calories—sorry, that’s 2 candy bars.  Ate out for lunch & don’t know the calories?  Be honest with yourself & give it your best guess.  A cheddar bacon cheeseburger would probably be at least 3 candy bars.  No complicated math. No tracking every tiny Pez candy.  Feel free to round, but be honest with yourself.  If you cheat, it will only harm yourself.  I don’t care how much you eat in a day.  I just want you to appreciate my adorable candy bar magnets, which I was inspired to create while squandering my life & my creativity in a cubicle.

Your Tools

Decide on your calorie/candy bar daily goal.  Write it on the dry erase, magnetic Handy Dandy Candy Board .  Place a candy bar magnet on the board every time you consume 230 calories in your day.  The magnets are kept in a convenient storage pocket until you need them.  Where do those calories come from?  That is entirely up to you!

There is also a handy journal included to track your progress, if you are into that sort of thing.  There is a Calories-to-Candy Bar Conversion Chart.  Once the day is done, clear your candy slate & start over again!  Conveniently sized to travel with you throughout the day as you rack up the candy bars, er, the calories:)

Why Count in Candy Bars?

This just happens to be how my brain works!  And I AM guilty of eating multiple candy bars in a day.  Whenever I tried to keep a journal of what I ate, I never made it through one day.  I never made it through more than ONE MEAL!  It was boring & tedious.  But I realized that I was finding myself saying “well, these 2 toaster pastries equal 2 candy bars…maybe I should just eat the candy instead?!”

If you tried a strict dieting plan & became discouraged, this might be a good place to start over.  By making it easier to track what you are eating, you are more likely to actually keep it up!  Try the calorie counter with sweet indulgences figured right in!

Sometimes just keeping track of what you eat can encourage you to eat less.  If your board is filling up, and it’s a choice between cheesecake or dinner, you might just choose dinner.  If it’s a Friday night after a long week of work, you might choose cheesecake. But you will be educated & know that by eating both, you could be packing on the pounds.

The Facts

Typically a person needs 2,000 to 2,500 calories a day.  To maintain your weight, you would want to eat around 2,000 calories (9 magnetic candy bars worth a day), depending on how active you are.  If you want to lose weight, you would want to eat less.

Your best bet for an accurate calorie count is on the “Nutrition Facts” label on your food packaging, or in some cases on the company’s website.  MAKE SURE you read the Serving Size, and be sure to multiply your servings by the Calories per Serving.  Once you have that number, it is easy to use the Calories-to-Candy Bar Conversion Chart to add the appropriate candy bar magnets to your candy bar board.

And FYI…Eating 9 candy bars in a day is not recommended & will definitely result in a tremendous stomach ache.

Also, more than just calories go into making you fat, such as, well, FAT.  This is a highly simplified system, therefore we only track calories.  Consider yourself warned!

©  not-quite-a-diet 2010

Calories-to-Candy Bar Conversion Chart

© not-quite-a-diet 2010

Candy Bar Log

© not-quite-a-diet 2010

Storage pocket for Handy Dandy Candy Board candy bar magnets. © not-quite-a-diet 2010

That is the Candy Bar Diet. Do you think it would work for you?

CAKE BOSS Cake!

I just found out they are selling Cake Boss cakes around the country and a store near me carries them! I got a Cake Boss cake for my birthday! (Note: It is Cake Boss brand, and not Carlo’s Bakery:( Website claims it is the same recipe…and hey, it has Buddy on the box!)

Can you say "obsessed"?

Can you say “obsessed”?

What I Learned This Week – 12/30/2012

The Valastro Family

The Valastro Family


I learned this week that I am addicted to watching the TLC show Cake Boss. I started watching it when I was my making my son’s Thomas birthday cake to get cake-making tips. But I continue to watch Cake Boss for the people.

It is a family business and their family is huge! Being an only child, I am fascinated by watching how they negotiate their roles as family and employees (one sister doesn’t do so well at this. She is herself, and it doesn’t matter who she is interacting with). Buddy (the Cake Boss) has a very big ego, but I love it when something surprises him and his eyes bug out and he gets all worked up.

I am also addicted because I watch it on streaming Netflix and Cake Boss has closed captioning. Other shows, like say Hot in Cleveland, do not. I need closed captioning so I can watch while my toddler naps or sleeps at night & I will not wake him.

But today, today is a sad day. I have watched all the seasons of Cake Boss on Netflix (all four seasons:( Now, what will I do?

“Not” stalk the cast members on Facebook, perhaps?

Ralphie Boy on Cake Boss

Ralphie Boy on Cake Boss

Hogwart Discovers Christmas

Page from my scrapbook featuring Hogwart the hedgehog.

Hogwart the hedgehog sniffed the air.
Then she stretched herself out until she looked ever so long,
And let out a big yawn.

She opened her eyes and looked around.
It was just after supper time.
The smell of turkey & mashed potatoes was in the air.
Yummm.  She licked her lips.

“There you are, Hogwart,” Jason said.
“I was afraid you might sleep through Christmas.”
What is Christmas, Hogwart wondered.

Jason reached into Hogwart’s cage and picked her up.
Hogwart didn’t like being picked up.  She did like Jason.
He always gave her treats and played with her.

Jason put Hogwart on the floor.
She ran over to sniff the big green thing that had
appeared in the house a week ago.
It smelled nice, and it glowed.

“Hogwart, be careful of the Christmas tree.
It is not safe for you to play with.”
More of this Christmas stuff.  What could it be?

Hogwart climbed into a box that held a warm sweater.
She tried to nestle into it, but Jennifer picked her up.
“No Hogwart, that is my sweater, not yours.”
I don’t care, I just want to sleep on it, Hogwart thought.

Then Hogwart started to run through the wrapping paper and bows.
This is fun, she though, and so pretty.
She found a candy cane, all wrapped up, and tried to figure out how to open it.
“No Hogwart, that is my candy cane.”
I just wanted to taste it, Hogwart thought.

Then Hogwart smelled something especially yummy.
She ran over to a pretty package.  She couldn’t see in it.
It wasn’t opened like all the others.

Hogwart looked at Jason & Jennifer and they were smiling at her.
“Go ahead and open it!  That one is yours, Hogwart.”
Hogwart sniffed it and licked it and then she bit at the paper.
When it came off, Hogwart had a box of crickets!
Yummy!  Yummy!  Yummy!  Hogwart liked them better than ice cream.

“Merry Christmas Hogwart!”  Jason and Jennifer said.
Oh, this is Christmas, Hogwart thought.
It is when people are extra nice to each other
And trees come indoors to keep away from the cold.

Christmas is making everything pretty.
Christmas is happiness and love.
Christmas is crickets.

Merry Christmas

Love,

.2”””\

©JLF 12/11/01

* The use of the name Hogwart in no way indicates a connection to J.K. Rowling or her works.