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Some More: Ill Communication

Ill Communication-Official

More texts from my mom that I take offense to, justified or otherwise.

If you love your mama deeply, then just stop reading here. Because you won’t understand my relationship with mine.

ME: We melted something in the dishwasher. Now the whole house smells like burnt plastic. 8:45PM
MOM: They are recalling GE dishwashers. They set fires. 8:47PM
MOM: Burnt plastic smell fumes are toxic. 8:52PM
ME: Duh. 8:53PM
MOM: Is that response an indication of its affect on your mental state? Ha!… 8:56PM

ME: Can you try to be ready at 10am tomorrow? 8:34PM
MOM: I can. Got something after? I can’t buy much. 8:36PM
ME: I want to go up to the national weather service open house in pontiac from 2-7PM 8:38PM
MOM: What is that about? Can’t imagine what could be interesting. Maybe you want to replace Kelly H. as the weather girl. Ha. 8:41PM
ME: Maybe it is interests me. 9:18PM
MOM: I just can’t imagine what it is. Sorry 4 my denseness. 9:20PM

MOM: It’s warm in here at night & I have to open the window. Days its cold. I think they are heating the vented hall air at nite & not in the day. 12:12PM
MOM: Saw there was a movie on tonite. Hear the music & knew it was little debbie. Can watch that any time. Now stuck on listing movie I don’t like. 8:31PM
MOM: I know i rattle on but you could send a grunt my way once in a while. 9:13PM
ME: Grunt. I was at liz’s all afternoon. Trying to stay awake to watch fringe. 9:22PM
[UGH! She does that to me ALL THE TIME! Except now she doesn’t ask for a grunt, on the fourth text she will ask “Are you there?” I am almost 37 years old! I don’t have to be anywhere if I don’t want to be!]

MOM: Its usually winter before its dark at 5:30. 5:42PM
MOM: There are 4 cones together saving 4 parking spaces. Why? I read proposals. Am voting [ ] on all but #5. 7:04PM
MOM: Played rolling stones cd. Happy with it. Thanks. 7:28PM
MOM: Time for a grunt on your part 7:57PM
ME: Sorry. My phone was in the diaper bag. Glad you liked your cd. Which one is prop 5?

[Following a missed call and voicemail that the fire alarm was going off in her building. I must have been outside when the phone rang and the following text came while I was listening to her voicemail.]
MOM: I am still alive. If you care 1:01PM
ME: I just listened to your voicemail. I was probably outside with the dogs when u called! 1:02PM

ME: I am at [ ] for oil change. I rolled in at 200,000. They were unimpressed. I am trying to talk them into a free oil change or window repair. They seemed unwilling. 11:04AM
MOM: You’ve lost it. No more cute little girl who gets special favors. Welcome to the grownup world. Ha! 11:08AM

11/20 – 11/21/12
MOM: Did you have dinner at liz’s or with liz at church? 10:52PM
ME: Why would that matter. 10:23AM
MOM: It matters that I dont lie to you. You dont need to lie to me. When you do, it makes me feel that you have no respect for me. It makes me feel bad & unwanted. 10:29AM
ME: I know you dont like me for who I am, so I have to edit things. We had dinner at l’s house. with her dad & step-mom. He has only one testicle, because the other got blown off in vietnam. enough details? 10:31AM
MOM: I love you. I think you are a wonderful person of whom i am very proud. 10:48AM
[Her statement is very subjective. I feel that her love is subjective.]


5 responses »

  1. I Love this SOOOOO much!!

  2. I love the “Ha!” at the end of her texts. =)

    • My take… you two just have clashing personalities and therefore don’t understand each other. My mother and I no longer talk. She has not seen my kids in 7 years (except in pics at my sisters house) Sometimes I’m glad to not have to deal with the drama in her life, but a lot of times I really miss her.

    • The “Ha!” is what makes me the maddest!

      Sometimes I think it would be nice to cut communications with my mother. But I am all she has, so that isn’t really an option for me.


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