RSS Feed

Tag Archives: text

Still More Ill Communication

Posted on

Ill Communication-Official

Grocery Store – 2/14/13*

MOM: They don’t have my tall kitchen bags. No, I want the ones with the twist ties. No, I don’t want a box with that many bags in it. I don’t want to spend that much.

MOM: They don’t have my small garbage bags. I don’t know how many gallons, they are small. They changed the package on me. They are not allowed to change the package on me.

Car Ride Home From The Grocery Store – 2/14/13*

MOM: I want everything to be perfect. And nothing is.

ME: That is why it is hard to be your daughter.

MOM: I always thought growing up that if I was perfect, my mother would love me. Then one day I realized she would never love me. It is all her fault. I blame all my problems on my mother. You will blame all your problems on me.

ME: I do.

Saga of The Air Freshener – 2/14/13**

MOM: While I was gone they put a stinky plug-in in my hall. When I came back down I pulled it & stuck it by the elevator. If it doesn’t stay put there, it goes out! 1:59PM

MOM: I think the stink up has returned. I was by the door and smelled it. Guess it will be the trash bin for it. Bad enough I have to smell the neighbors [cooking]. 9:30PM

2/15/13

MOM: The smelly thing IS still down by the elevator. I sure was smelling it by the door last nite until I put onion skin in wastecan. That overwhelms everything.

Stuff She Can’t Get (Because She Doesn’t Expect To) – 2/15/13***

MOM: When I asked when my glasses would be ready she said 2 wks. That was Tuesday. If I don’t hear by next Tues (3 wks) I will call there. 9:07PM

MOM: One of my shirts [I ordered] is in the office but can’t get til [Monday]. 9:08PM

* Paraphrased from actual conversations, but highly accurate.

**From texts. My mom is justified in being disgruntled. Why does the maintence staff pursist in putting Glad Plug-ins in the hallway of an apartment building filled with old people with health problems? My mom is sensitive to strong odors. How she goes on and on about it is the funny/ANNOYING part.

***From texts.

More Ill Communication

Posted on

MOM: “You know, we go out and there are a lot of men who smile and talk to M [My then 17 month-old son]. And they aren’t looking at you or flirting with you, they are looking at him.” Verbal, April 2012 [Thanks, Mom]

MOM: “I know you say you have lost weight since you had him, but I just don’t see it. You don’t look thinner to me.” Verbal, April 2012 [Thanks, Mom]

6/9/12
ME: I used the poster frame to frame the Advance [local newspaper] with my Riga flag on it. I probably shouldn’t have had it folded all these years. 3:04PM

MOM: Its fine that you want to do that. So why make me feel dumb for hanging the thing you made. Seems same to me. 3:10PM

ME: The flag was my idea. The clay thing the teacher made everyone make. 3:21PM [It is a crappy clay pouch that I made in like the 4th grade.]
MOM: Then why bring it home at all? I need a thing to hold flowers. Why buy when I have something? Just saw cutest dog on TV! 3:26PM [Way to lose focus there, Mom]

MOM: “I expect to die alone. We all do. I hope the shirt I ordered fits.” Verbal, 7/3/12

Grammar vs. Text (& FBOF)

Posted on

You always hear news stories about how texting is dumbing down our teenagers and will someday replace the English language as we know it. I don’t see it that way. I think of them as two languages you can learn side by side, like English and French. Although, like anyone who knows two languages, the one you actually use the most will be the one you are more fluent in. That is part of why I write this blog.

Being out of work, I spend more time texting than writing emails of a professional nature. I try to write this blog in my own voice, while still trying to follow the basic rules of grammar. Does a smiley face sneak in sometimes (Why sure:) Do some posts have too many statements in parenthesis? (Definitely.) But I do generally consider myself a stickler for good spelling and grammar.

But, having texted, I totally understand the need for as much abbreviation as possible. It is necessary for speed, space-saving, and it saves your thumbs. Also, you have to realize I am not a part of the core texting generation. While kids today can type something like “OMGMMISL*” and totally understand each other, texting in my generation is a little different. My asbestos friend and I use texting as a substitute for phone calls and a more immediate version of email. I would love to call her and have long meaningful chats. But as we both have children between the ages of 11 months and 18 months, that seems a little improbable. And the signal at her house sucks.

We also have silly thoughts throughout the day that are better conveyed by text. But we are limited to how much we can abbreviate and still understand each other. Hence, our message often takes two or three texts to fully convey. I am thinking teenagers don’t do that. My friend and I only have abbreviations for things like Meijer (mjr), Wal-Mart (wmrt), and flaming butt of fire (fbof). My friend’s daughter coined the term “the flaming butt of fire.” (What is “the flaming butt of fire”? If you have to ask, honey, you have never had it!)

So, I believe, if actual writing is balanced with the actual English language, civilization will b ok a lil longer;)

* “Oh my God my Mom is so lame.”

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

Ill Communication: Mean Things My Mom Says to Me

Posted on

-Vacation Edition-

3/10/12

ME: Just so you know, we are probably going to NC apr 13-16. 6:50PM

MOM: Where? 6:52PM

ME: Statesville for J’s aunt & uncle’s wedding anniversary. 6:52PM

MOM: Is that North Carolina? Glad you can afford to go away. 6:54PM [Code for: you can’t afford to go away.]

ME: We can’t. 6:55PM

MOM: You are. 6:55PM [Code for: I have to have the last word]

4/15/12 [On Vacation]

MOM: Are you starting home today? How are you holding up? 8:35AM

ME: Yes. OK. M [my son] is eating less than normal because he is easily distracted. 9:16AM

ME: Checkin out the drawers at the motel. (Picture of a playing M attached) 9:18AM

MOM: Sounds like M is enjoying this. I expected him to be fussy. Must be he’s like J [my husband]. Interested in people. Glad he’s being good for you. I think of pups too. 9:25AM

[What, was I the worst baby ever? Oh, I forgot. I was.]

4/17/12

ME: My souvenir Fiesta Plate (picture attached) 5:42PM
MOM: Is it reg plate size or smaller? Kind of neat to not have to describe it just send a picture. Jamie text me back. Didn’t ring. Yelled about Kenny. Reset abt 4X. 5:51PM

ME: It is a little larger. I might try to hang it on the wall or something. 5:55PM

MOM: Hang plates on the wall just like my mother. Did you listen to the voice text you sent me of M? 5:58PM

ME: I knew you would comment about grandma. 5:58PM

MOM: Call em like I see em 5:59PM

ME: It is like when your mother used to tell you that you were like grandma hayton. 6:01PM

MOM: Sorry 6:03PM

[I won. I made my point and got a sorry.]

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 59 other followers

%d bloggers like this: