ROLES & RESPONSIBILITIES
-Records Archive Director
-Diaper Quality Inspector
-Wildlife Relocation Specialist
-Thrower of Baby BBQs
-Accomplished email time suck
Specializing in entertainment trivia, offbeat humor, & good hygiene.
-10 key calculator
-First Aid administrator
-Amateur weather prediction
-American Red Cross Dog First Aid certified
-Was on high school honor roll 22 of 24 marking periods.
-Accomplished this while watching 58 hrs of television a week.
-Graduated .03 GPA from a summa cum laude in college.
-Learned not to be different in any way thanks to Middle School.
-Only missed one word all year in 4th grade spelling (stupid “Caynon”. I MEAN CANYON!!!).
-Co-Editor of high school newspaper.
$2,000,000 the first year, and $1,000,000 each year thereafter, plus a $1,000,000 signing bonus.
Fame to go with my fortune would be considered a bonus.