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I Will Never Be Freshly Pressed

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My asbestos friend will be very angry at me when she sees the title of this post. She is a deep believer in manifestation and the law of attraction. She believes that putting this statement out into the universe will make it a reality.

And I believe that too. Somedays. Other times I believe you have to worry about something to prevent it from happening. But usually that only gives me a stomach ache. And something completely different that I never thought to worry about can go wrong in its place.

Today, well, I am trying to make myself stop hoping for something that will never happen. To become Freshly Pressed on WordPress. (Their list of the best of recent blogs, updated daily–or so they claim.)

It would, indeed, be a great honor.

But, occasionally, I write a deeply personal post that, while my blog is pretty anonymous, I would feel weird if the masses read it. Those posts I am glad that they are not picked to be Freshly Pressed.

To anyone else, I am sure my blog looks like a disorganized jumble of craziness. When I look at my blog and what I have created, it makes me happy beyond words. Sometimes, I just visit it to gaze with wonder and amazement that I have my own website, my own URL, and I get to chose what is on it.

To a thirteen year old today who grew up amidst such technology, it would not seem impressive at all. But when I was in high school, the Internet wasn’t something everyone had in their house. Not every product had a website. It was common to not even know the terms Internet or website. I did my big final paper for my Bachelor’s degree in college on comparing the websites of radio stations. That was a big deal then.

While I crave praise in my life (I chalk that up as being my mother’s fault), I am going to have to settle for my blog to just make me happy for sake of being there. I fear my genius (yes, that’s a joke) will never be featured on Freshly Pressed.

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards...for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

I crave praise so much that I have been known to create awards…for last place. (Wes Nile 4EVA!)

But I probably won’t give up hope that Ellen might mention my blog some day on her show. Seems like a good fit, I think;)

What I Learned This Week – 4/7/13

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This week I learned that squirrels are more evil than I ever suspected.  Just look at what one did to my dog!

The leg is still there, just heavily bandaged.

The leg is still there, just heavily bandaged.

Now, I do feel like I may have helped to manifest this. I did tell my dog, Parker, he should kill the squirrel in our yard. I even told him that if he got bit or scratched in the process, I would take him to the vet and get him fixed up. I also had a plan on Friday to go to the vet and purchase more heartworm preventative.

But, well, Parker impaled himself on a metal post in our yard in what I can only suspect was pursuit of a squirrel on Tuesday afternoon. A metal post that would not have even been there except we put it there to prevent him from escaping out a gap at the bottom of the other two fences.

The scene of the injury.  The squirrel runs up the tree on the other side of the fence.  The green post used to be straight up.

The scene of the injury. The squirrel runs up the tree on the other side of the fence. The green post used to be straight up.

I feel a little guilty. I did momentarily forget both dogs outside. But that was for like 10 minutes. Parker had been left outside unattended longer. (We have a fully fenced in yard. Not that that keeps my dogs from escape or mayhem.) And really, who expects their dog to crucify himself on a 4ft tall metal post?

Tuesday afternoon, my husband is just walking out the door to go to work. He attempts to let the dogs in for me. We discover that Parker has what is (let’s put this delicately) a giant hole ripped in his front right leg doggie armpit. I grabbed my first aid kit. My husband, who JUST started a new job as a temp and CANNOT be late stayed 5 more minutes. He helped me get the injury wrapped up, and put Parker in the car. (Dude, that dog weighs 60lbs. I can’t exactly cradle him in my arms.) I called the vet. They said the doctor was out on a call and wouldn’t be back for an hour. She made it sound like I should hang out at home for a few more minutes. Then she said I could come in if I wanted and they could pressure wrap it while I waited.

When I got there, she said my wrap job was good, so they just left it til the doctor returned. The doctor, without looking at it yet, said it would be 30-45 minutes and asked me if I wanted to wait or come back. She said she would give him something to make him sleepy. I waited.

I skipped laying my son down for a nap because I just couldn't bring myself to close the curtain on this poor, injured dog.

I skipped laying my son down for a nap because I just couldn’t bring myself to close the curtain on this poor, injured dog.

I could tell when they removed Parker’s bandages. The assistant came in and told me he ripped quite the hole in himself. Then she came back in and asked if it was OK if they did a chest X-ray, because the doctor was worry he may have punctured his lung. (He didn’t.) Then the doctor came in and informed me that my dog had tried to rip his leg off, but luckily he was unsuccessful and had missed the muscle, tendons, etc. He was lucky he had missed his main blood vessel (which apparently she could see beating). If he had clipped that, she said he would have bled to death before I could have gotten him to the office.

They ended giving him full anesthesia and intubating him. We were there for another two hours.

Now, you might think this is a lucky dog. But remember, he is also a determined, stubborn, entitled dog.

In order to not pull out the stitches, they wrapped his whole front leg to his body. Essentially, he is a tripod. Except, well, he knows his leg is still there and tries to get it out.

Thursday morning my husband took Parker to get a dressing change. By the time they arrived back home (approximately 20 minutes), Parker had worked his leg out. Back to the vet they both went. My husband arrived home a second time–with a dog who had 4 legs visibly showing. We went back the third time that morning, and got re-wrapped again.

This time we tranquilized him. Probably a little too much. The tranquilizer was to keep him from messing with his bandage or doing silly things like trying to get on the couch.

The vet also recommended greatly confining him. But my incredibly tired and exhausted husband didn’t get around to it. Or maybe he thought the dog didn’t need to be.

By Thursday afternoon, he was laying in front of the couch (an obvious play to make it up on it) and he had used his back leg to scratch at his bandage, exposing his drain. (Gross, I know. Sorry.)

So, I re-bandaged a drugged dog who couldn’t stand up as well as I could. He is leaky, but at least we didn’t have to take him back again.

By Friday morning, the dog had made his way into our bedroom. This is the furthest spot from the back door, where he needed to be taken out because he hadn’t been outside in hours and hours. So, using a beach towel as a sling around his torso, I half-walked/mostly-dragged him out the back door. After a brief rest, he did pee. (Ya!) After another brief rest, he ate and drank and took more tranqs. (Ya!)

On Saturday morning, Parker had another vet appointment. He was hobbling in on his three legs, all pathetic. He got as far as the lobby and stalled, as if he did not have another ounce of energy left in his doggy body. That is, until the resident cat walked by in front of him. He did a couple of lightning quick dives trying to get it, but only ended up with a face plant.

They decided to leave off his bandages because the skin was suffering from too much moisture and a lack of fresh air. So, he has his leg back, but is favoring it. We are to keep him tranquilized til his next appointment on Monday. He has a giant doggie cone collar on, but I was worried about him scratching his injury with his rear foot. My mom came up with an excellent idea to put a sock on his back foot to reduce the damage. He was a little more himself today.

There is a good chance he might have to have a few stitches redone where the skin is necrotic. I am worried about how concentrated his urine is, but that could be because his water intake and trips outside are way down. He is eating and drinking and pooping and peeing though, so I will take those all as good signs.

My 2 month old son seems jealous of all the attention Parker is getting. So is Dave, my other dog. I am just exhausted from being a caretaker. The dog is on 9 pills a day right now. And we have to keep his wound clean and dry and put Aloe Vera Gel on part of it.

I was originally going to give potty-training my boy another try next week. I think it can wait a little longer. Oy.

I saw the squirrel in the backyard today. It could have just been the light or his coloring or that he had just scratched his licey, flea-bitten body, but to me it look like he had a scratch on is side. It would make me feel better about all this damage to Parker if I knew he had least took a little hide off that squirrel.

Watch out, squirrel. Remember…I have TWO dogs.

What did I do to myself?!

What did I do to myself?!

Still More Ill Communication

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Ill Communication-Official

Grocery Store – 2/14/13*

MOM: They don’t have my tall kitchen bags. No, I want the ones with the twist ties. No, I don’t want a box with that many bags in it. I don’t want to spend that much.

MOM: They don’t have my small garbage bags. I don’t know how many gallons, they are small. They changed the package on me. They are not allowed to change the package on me.

Car Ride Home From The Grocery Store – 2/14/13*

MOM: I want everything to be perfect. And nothing is.

ME: That is why it is hard to be your daughter.

MOM: I always thought growing up that if I was perfect, my mother would love me. Then one day I realized she would never love me. It is all her fault. I blame all my problems on my mother. You will blame all your problems on me.

ME: I do.

Saga of The Air Freshener – 2/14/13**

MOM: While I was gone they put a stinky plug-in in my hall. When I came back down I pulled it & stuck it by the elevator. If it doesn’t stay put there, it goes out! 1:59PM

MOM: I think the stink up has returned. I was by the door and smelled it. Guess it will be the trash bin for it. Bad enough I have to smell the neighbors [cooking]. 9:30PM

2/15/13

MOM: The smelly thing IS still down by the elevator. I sure was smelling it by the door last nite until I put onion skin in wastecan. That overwhelms everything.

Stuff She Can’t Get (Because She Doesn’t Expect To) – 2/15/13***

MOM: When I asked when my glasses would be ready she said 2 wks. That was Tuesday. If I don’t hear by next Tues (3 wks) I will call there. 9:07PM

MOM: One of my shirts [I ordered] is in the office but can’t get til [Monday]. 9:08PM

* Paraphrased from actual conversations, but highly accurate.

**From texts. My mom is justified in being disgruntled. Why does the maintence staff pursist in putting Glad Plug-ins in the hallway of an apartment building filled with old people with health problems? My mom is sensitive to strong odors. How she goes on and on about it is the funny/ANNOYING part.

***From texts.

Disco Buddha

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There once was a chick who had a job where she got to enter fun and quirky items such as Itty Bitty Buddha kits into a computer database for future customers to purchase. Sometimes these items would find their way to her desk.

Itty Bitty Buddha Kit, by Running Press

Itty Bitty Buddha Kit, by Running Press

And sometimes an Itty Bitty Buddha just begs to bust out of his boring shrine and live it up with his homies!

Disco Buddha (customized)

Disco Buddha (customized)

When I looked at the plain old Buddha in his cardboard shrine box, I heard a song in my head that went “Disco Buddha, Disco Buddha…” [You have to sing it to the tune of Kool & The Gang's "Jungle Boogie". No, I am not old enough to know this song, but Buddha apparently is.]

But I knew he needed a tiny disco ball.

My dear, sweet co-worker Megan came through with one just the right size. And she didn’t even laugh at the reason I wanted it (much). Then Buddha needed some friends. Karl the pencil monkey and a Homies dog seemed to fit the bill. (I don’t know why Karl’s name is Karl. That is what the person who gave him to me told me that was his name.)

Disco Buddha also needed a poster for his wall. You probably can’t tell in the picture, but Disco Buddha is a Capricorn. (All the coolest people are.) He also loves sick days. (On the back of his shrine is a sticker that says “I [heart] answering my phone in a foreign accent”. But he keeps that one hidden, because it isn’t very PC (the blame for that actually should go on the company who manufactured the stickers!).

And, that is all Disco Buddha has told me. Hopefully no one will find this sacrilegious or anything. It can’t be any worse than Buddha banks or Buddha T-shirts. Disco Buddha just likes to be happy and spread the love.

Disco Buddha preferred sitting on my desk, but as I currently don’t have one, he has to reside, for now, in my kitchen.

Sing it!  “Disco Buddha, Disco Buddha, doodle-dee, doodle-dee…”

What I Learned This Week – 3/31/13 “Hoppy Easter!”

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Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

Absolutely LOVE this pic.   It is my current desktop on my puter.    Photo: WarmBodiesmovie.com

 

This week I learned that Jesus was a zombie.

That is the whole point of Easter, right?

Celebrating when Jesus rose up as his zombie self to prove their was undead life after death?

My family went to church this morning (Shhh, don’t tell my mother. She would highly disapprove.) We went because I found a super-cute Easter outfit for my son at Once Upon a Child. My mom always said “the only reason to get an Easter outfit is if you go to church.” So, if you look at it that way, it is kind of her fault.

We also went to see my asbestos friend and her family.

And because the church was having a potluck breakfast and Easter egg hunt. It would be my son’s first Easter egg hunt, in a relatively riot-free environment.

My husband didn’t realize they were going to have a regular service after. He ended up going in the nursery with my son and taking a nap (New job, screwed up schedule, remember?). I stayed to listen to the sermon for two reasons.

The first and biggest reason is that we usually attend the church events, but not Sunday service. And the few times a year we do attend Sunday services, the church either doesn’t collect an offering or collects it for some charity other than themselves. While that is nice, it doesn’t make good business sense. They need one of those drop boxes for donations. It would make them more susceptible to burglary, but I would give more often. So, I had to stay until they collected the offering.

The second is that it only seemed polite. Get breakfast and eggs and ditch? That didn’t seem nice. And my whole family came, it seemed like at least one of us should actually stay in the church area (I can’t remember what it is called) and listen to the sermon.

The pastor talked about how Jesus rose and stood right next to a chick he had known and she didn’t recognize him.

Um, maybe because he was a rotting re-animated corpse?

And, corpse or not, if he rose again, what happened to him then?

Did he just say “Hey dudes, I did it!” and disappear into colored vapor? Did someone have to exorcise him? Did they have to kill him again? Shoot him with a silver bullet? Cut off his head?

Inquiring minds want to know. My entire biblical education amounts to watching the Charlton Heston movie “The Ten Commandments.”

I tell you, my new enlightenment today on this old story makes it seem WAY more interesting and contemporary. Because, you know, the zombies are coming soon…

Photo: austinist.com

Photo: austinist.com

Poetry Time

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AN ENCHANTED BOTTLE AND THE IVORY CUPBOARD
By: JLF
2/28/95

Help Me! Help Me!
I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
What is this strange feeling?
Is it a headache, a stomach ache
A new strain of flu?
Why do I feel this way?
What–wait…
Is this happiness,
is this what it feels like
to be happy?
I don’t have any worries,
And even the worries I can think of
Just don’t seem to bother me
This fine winter evening.
The music from the radio
Seems to flow into me
And through my veins,
Electrifying me and making me glow
all over.
I want to capture this feeling
into an enchanted bottle.
I want to seal it up tight
And lock it away in an ivory cupboard,
Where I can save it
For a dark, hazy day of sadness
When I can take out the bottle
And remember what happiness was like.

I haven’t felt like this in so long
in a sense too far gone from love
That don’t last forever
Something’s gotta turn out right
–”Got Me Wrong” by Jerry Cantrell (Alice in Chains)

[A million thanks to my friend Jill for helping me to identify this song from a pivotal time in my life many years afterwards. How I told her "I am looking for a song with the words 'I haven't felt like this in so long', and she asked me if it was sung by two people, and figured out almost instantly it was Alice in Chains, I will never understand, but I am eternally grateful.]

What I Learned This Week – 3/24/13

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This week I learned that my husband starts a new job–yaaaa!  It is a factory job and he really did not enjoy the one he had before.  So, here is to hoping he can get a little enjoyment out of it while making money to pay the bills.

Personally, I learned that employers want you to have giant windows of availability. I happened to get an interview last week for a place that I submitted an application to in December. At that time, I told them I could work any of the 18hrs that the store is open. This was true for the past 3 months since then. Of course, 6 hours after they call me for an interview, my husband gets the call about his job. Which, it turns out, he won’t find out what shift he will be on until Wednesday. At my interview, it turns out I need to be available to work 10am-10pm Monday through Sunday to be hired. We left it at “I would get back to him” if my husband’s schedule turns out favorable. That might be a great schedule if I had like a 12 year old who could take care of themselves. Not so great for the mother of a two-year old who most likely could not afford daycare on that salary.

Today (which should really go on next week’s post–deal with it) I learned that actor Billy Burke, Charlie Swan from the Twilight movies and currently starring on NBC’s Revolution, sings. As in, records songs and videos and stuff. Heh, who knew? Check him out here: www.billyburke.net/

And finally, cleaning up leftovers from like two weeks ago, here are further duct tape projects I made after the tote bag, before becoming distracted by a much larger creative project.

Domo Wallet, made from duct tape, outside

Domo Wallet, made from duct tape, outside

Domo Wallet, made from duct tape, 3 pocket interior

Domo Wallet, made from duct tape, 3 pocket interior

Domo drum, made from duct tape and a toddler snack can

Domo drum, made from duct tape and a toddler snack can

Job Applications: To Be Me or Not To Be Me?

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JOB-flowers

I applied to work at a local flower shop last week. The last page of the job application was what I refer to as “essay questions”.

They were actually appropriate for the position I was applying for, but I just automatically think up creative answers. And it took me a few minutes to come up with answers to them, so I am glad that they were written and not part of the interview!

Here are a few below and how I answered them. Would you hire me?

This is a fast paced job, dealing with lots of different emotions. What can you do to provide the customer with top quality service?

WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: Sometimes I worry that my customer service might not be good enough. Then I realize that is that will set me apart from those giving me minimal service at big chain stores. I care about the experience I will provide to someone else. At [Local Convenience Store], I provided excellent customer service every day. When I gave my notice, they begged me to stay and become an Assistant Manager.

MY EXPLANATION TO DEAR READERS: I was trying to turn a negative into a positive. And I have been trying to brag about when I left my job and they begged me to stay for years, but I can never work it into an interview. I wouldn’t mention it, but they actually tried to get me back twice–once when I gave my notice, and once while I was at the laundromat a few months later. (Hmmm. Maybe I should cut to the chase and just apply there again! I would like to think my skills have advanced a little since then, though:(

What is one thing you look forward to doing if hired?

REAL ANSWER: Buying groceries, getting a haircut, buying new underwear.

WHAT I ACTUALLY PUT: I look forward to participating as a part of a team to provide the best products and service to the customer.

I have been trying to “be myself” lately during interviews and filling out applications.  Or maybe it is that I can’t help BUT to be myself.  But, alas, as I still do not have a job, maybe employers just don’t GET the real me.

Ugh!  It is like high school all over again.

Damn Pirates!

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Mini pirates have been in me fish tank plunderin’ me treasure!

PIRATES-tank

What I Learned A Year Ago – 3/17/13

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My Great Grandmother's tombstone

My Great Grandmother’s tombstone

A year ago today I was out documenting relatives in local cemeteries for my family tree research. Most of my relatives are dead, so this is the best way for me to gather information, although it can have inconsistencies and drawbacks just as much as an Internet search does.

"Grandma" is written on the back of this picture in pencil.  I believe this may have been Martha Elliot.  I am guessing the guy next to her is Phillip Bracey.

“Grandma” is written on the back of this picture in pencil. I believe this may have been Martha Elliot. I am guessing the guy next to her is Phillip Bracey. It is a great old picture, whoever these people are.

I was at the cemetery for a small, nearby town. I knew a lot of my father’s family was buried there. But then I just happened to walk by two flat headstones with different surnames than what I was specifically looking for. But, luckily, I saw them and recognized them! It was the tombstone of my dad’s maternal grandmother (my great-grandmother) and her second husband! All the information I had gathered from the Internet had led me to believe she was buried in Lucas County, Ohio somewhere. One of the next things on my to-do list was to try to figure out where she was buried. And here I had found her right under my nose!

This picture is labeled "Grandma & Grandpa Bracey".  But I think it is labeled by my mother, so she was either relying on what someone else told her, or the memory of what someone else told her.

This picture is labeled “Grandma & Grandpa Bracey”. But I think it is labeled by my mother, so she was either relying on what someone else told her, or the memory of what someone else told her.

And why am I telling you this, on St. Patrick’s Day? Because I believed it was a magical coincidence for me to have found her on St. Patrick’s Day, as she was of 100% Irish descent!

This picture says "Grandmother and Uncle Will" on the back.   I do believe Martha had a brother William.  But does this guy look like the old guy in all the other pictures too?  Hard to say.

This picture says “Grandmother and Uncle Will” on the back. I do believe Martha had a brother William. But does this guy look like the old guy in all the other pictures too? Hard to say.

Born Martha Elliott in Stone Ridge, Ohio, in 1861, both her parents had been born in Ireland. Martha married my great grandfather Alva Goodin around 1883. They had four kids together that I know of. One of them is my father’s mother, who I never knew. All these people died before I was born.

Alva left Martha to marry her younger sister Isabelle around 1893. They had three children together. I am guessing that would have been kind of scandalous back in the 1890′s.

Martha got remarried to Phillip Bracey sometime after 1892. They did not have any more kids that I know of. Most of this came from Internet research, that may be flawed. But for someone who just thought they were a mutt until just a few years ago, discovering I am 1/8 Irish is pretty exciting!

Phillip Bracey b.1855 d.1936

Phillip Bracey b.1855 d.1936       I think he may have had children from a previous wife.

If anyone stumbles across this post and actually has more info on my relatives for me, please leave me a comment on this page or send me a direct message on Facebook. I would be super-excited to hear from you!

"Taken on Grandma's 90th Birthday at Ray's-1951"

“Taken on Grandma’s 90th Birthday at Ray’s-1951″  Pretty sure that this would be Martha Elliot.

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