RSS Feed

Category Archives: Childhood Reminiscing

How I Came To Be A Vancouver Canucks Fan

Posted on April 16, 2013 by funnygurl2
Photo: hdwp.net

Photo: hdwp.net

When I was in elementary school, the only thing that I halfway liked to play in gym class was scooter hockey.  We sat on these little square scooters with wheels (no handles) and played hockey.  It didn’t have a million confusing rules to remember like stupid softball or kickball.  (Three strikes you are out, but you get four balls?  Consistency PEOPLE!)  You just had to stay in bounds and remember to shoot at the goalie who wasn’t wearing the same color as you.  But, of course, I never actually took a shot anyway.  But it was fun.

Toledo Storm Promo (Note: My asbestos friend isn't in this pic. She probably had something really important to do--like Algebra Class)

Toledo Storm Promo (Note: My asbestos friend isn’t in this pic. She probably had something really important to do–like Algebra Class)

I never thought about hockey again until high school.  My asbestos friend was taking modeling classes and became the spokesmodel for the Toledo Storm ECHL hockey team. Ya, I’m not quite sure how that happened.  The title of spokesmodel meant that she got to go on the ice between periods and wear a leotard/tuxedo thing (showing off her gams), and assist with the fan games.  I was pretty impressed by this.  Especially the three times I got to go with her and watch the game for free.  No one else at our high school was impressed by this.  They probably didn’t believe her.  Or were just jealous.  F’em.

My asbestos friend as the Toledo Storm Spokemodel, 1993-1994 Season

My asbestos friend as the Toledo Storm Spokemodel, 1993-1994 Season

Hence, a big crush on hockey players ensued.  I started listening to the Storm on the radio (hockey on the radio is a little boring *yawn*).  I also started watching the Detroit Red Wings play.  I got a Steve Yzerman poster for my room, because he was the cutest.

CANUCKS-logo

While I live in Michigan and the Red Wings are one of the best teams and it is logical for me to be their fan, it wasn’t always practical.  Many times the Red Wings would play on a cable channel that we did not get.  Or my mom would not want to watch hockey.  She apparently is still traumatized from having to listen to it when her dad watched Molson Hockey Night in Canada in 1959.  Ask her. Actually, you don’t have to.  She will tell the story anytime I mention liking hockey.

View from the penalty box: Henrik Zetterberg

View from the Penalty Box: Henrik Zetterberg

Now, I don’t like to watch hockey, just for the sake of watching it.  I like to have a team to root for and to know a few of the players’ names, at least.  I discovered that almost every Saturday night on CBC (a station out of Windsor, Canada), that they would show a Vancouver Canucks game.  They are in the Pacific Time zone, so the games would have a later start time.  This was perfect!  By then, my mother was already asleep on the couch.

I learned a few players’ names.  I have tried to catch a few games every year, so that I stayed knowledgeable.  I learned that the green guys in full-body morphsuits are crazy.

View from the Penalty Box: Osgood takes the ice

View from the Penalty Box: Osgood takes the ice

My only problem comes when Vancouver and Detroit play each other.  I don’t know who to root for.  I would love to go see them play each other sometime at Joe Louis Arena.  I would love to own a Canucks jersey.  Actually, I would love to have a Red Wings one as well.

You know what is the best thing about hockey?  The fights:)

Photo: shop.nhl.com WOW! How cool would this be?

Photo: shop.nhl.com
WOW! How cool would this be?

3 Comments

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, Entertainment Worship & Review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

College Sucked

Posted on February 26, 2013 by funnygurl2

I always measure my experiences in life to how they would be portrayed on a sitcom. As you might expect, my own experiences often play out much differently than in TV Land. College would be one of these.

College sucked. On TV, everyone is always a joiner who participates in every student activity. They make friends they will have for the rest of their lives. They go to parties. They learn to be deep thinkers. They find their soul mate.

Me? Not so much. I was a commuter with no car for 3 out of my 4 years of college. While waiting for my ride home every day, I had to kill hours in the library. There are only two friends that I made in college that I still keep in touch with.  I never went to a single party.  I am not a natural-born joiner. I joined some sort of academic fraternity that never had any activities just so that I could get a sweatshirt with Greek letters on it. Then I felt self-conscious in it and never wore it.  I submitted some of the depressing poetry I wrote while killing time in the library anonymously to the college literary magazine. They published a couple.

My two closest friends were at two other colleges in two different states. It made for a very lonely time in my life. My best friend came back home after her freshmen year (she HAD found the parties), which was better. But she was attending the university across town, so we never saw each other except at night.

I also had an undiagnosed, then diagnosed, stomach problem during this time as well.  So I felt miserable physically as well as mentally!

It was overall the loneliest year of my life.  I don’t really think I look forward to coming back in the fall.  -JLF 4/27/95

My other friend, my asbestos friend, had an even worse college experience than me. I told her this week how I was going through my old college free-writes to get a true sense of the misery to work on my new story (and this blog post). Her reply?

“I don’t think I could relive that time. I’ve blocked much of it out & I think that’s for the best.”

She has told me a few of her great miserable stories, including being sick with mono and all alone, and donating so much blood for money that she passed out in the parking lot at the donation place. (Those are two separate occasions. I think.) But my favorite story is the one where she takes her life back into her own hands. It’s the story where during her last semester she realizes college is making her miserable and she is an adult. She has her own job and her own place to live. She just leaves the campus and never turns back. She is my hero:)

I did not leave. I stayed, hoping to get my MRS. degree. I only went to college because my mom told me I had to either do that or get a job. I had gone to school for K-12 years. I had never had a job. I picked the option I was familiar with. I should have got a job. Now I have a Bachelor’s Degree and I am applying to entry-level store jobs at Meijer, Cash Advance, and Family Video. And they are not hiring me.

Compilation of 2 No Doubt drawings I made while in college

Compilation of 2 No Doubt drawings I made while in college

I had my first boyfriend for a month my freshmen year. After it ended, from my old writings, I seemed to be lonelier than before.

When I was in high school, I had a few hours after school everyday before my mom got home from work that was my time to myself. In college, I had no privacy. My mom was my ride. If she was home I was home and she drove me nuts. (This is probably the only way my college experience was worse than my asbestos friend’s.) My bedroom didn’t even have a door. I would stay up late to do homework, and find myself watching Beavis & Butthead marathons on MTV instead. I always said that I could feel my brain cells rotting away as I watched that show. I think it helped numb my depression. Then my mom, who always slept on the couch in the living room where the only TV was, would wake up. (Yes, I went to college in the Dark Ages. My college had text-only Internet my freshmen year!) She would ask me,”Are you watching Beaver & Buttface?” I mostly watched it for the music videos, which sucks, because any version released on DVD has only limited music videos. How much did I watch them? Here are a poem and some fan artwork from that time:

Lovin’ the Boys
By: JLF
3/7/95

If I make a video
Can I get on that show?
First I would have to make
A really cool video
You know,
One with lots of guitars,
And riffs, and drums.
I would stumble around
In a really short dress
And scream all the words
Really, really loud.
I would put in some shots
Of farm animals and livestock,
And throw in a toilet
(To give them something to talk about).
Then I would send it to New York,
To that video channel,
And wait every day & every night
For them to put my video on that show.
They could sit there on their couch
In their dirty T-shirts & stinky shorts
And watch my video.
That dark-haired guy and his dumb-blond friend
Could belch and fart
And yell “Fire! Fire!”
Then they would deem my video
As “Cool” or “Sucks”,
By how short my dress was,
How loud I yelled,
And the fact my video had only one
Toilet in it.
But I would be happy
Because I got to see my video,
With one of those yellow, pointy
signs with their names in it
In the corner of the screen.

And that would make it worthwhile. . .

Illustration I made based on a video that Beavis & Butthead mocked. (My son likes this pic a lot. Maybe I should be concerned about that.)

Illustration I made based on a video that Beavis & Butthead mocked. (My son likes this pic a lot. Maybe I should be concerned about that.)

I ended up getting an on-campus job, so I started interacting with my classmates a little more. It also got me out of the library. I got paid (!) to wait for my ride. That helped a little.

Then I got a better boyfriend. I couldn’t find him at college, because he was still in high school. (I should have flunked!) Those who know me know he is now my husband.

Then I got an off-campus job too, in addition to those other things. My best friend worked at the convenience store too, and helped me get the job. People who know me know it was one of my favorite jobs. I liked it so well that I saved up my earnings over the summer so that I could buy a car so that in the fall I could keep the job while I finished college. (Most people get a job to get a car. I got a car to keep a job.)

I should become a writer like Erma Bombeck & just write about “stuff”. -JLF (found in an old college notebook)

So, ya, college sucked for me.  I can enthusiastically say that not everyone enjoys themselves at college.  Accept this post and the accompanying writings below as evidence.  Probably the worst time of my life. When my son gets old enough, I don’t know how I will ever be able to keep from talking negatively about it. I kind of feel about it the way I do about the Lord of the Rings films. I want my time and money back. I want my four years and my $18,000 back (I got a lot of scholarships).

Untitled
By: JLF
4/8/95

There’s a party tonight
General Admission – $2
There’s a party tonight
Everyone Welcome
Are you going to the party tonight?
I don’t think they mean me
Are you going to the party tonight?
Everyone would be happier if I didn’t
Everyone’s going
But I am not
Everyone’s going
I’ll stay home and listen
to my own silence.
Sometimes a person
has to look through the thick, black
copier ink lettering
And realize that circumstances
and situations and history
are the things that really predict
who will attend the ball
and who will stay home.

The Driving Rain
By: JLF

It is 9:06PM.  It’s raining.  I have a half a tank of gas.  Will this be the night.  Will this be the night I keep going and don’t look back?

I could change my life right now.  It would be just as easy as changing channels on the television.  I can see all my different options spread out in front of me, and the television channels just keep going.  There is the music video channel, blaring sounds and images.  There is Channel 25.  All Hitler, All the time.  The third reicht of the Chicago area.  Heil!  Channel 25.  Then the weather channel.  Do I want rain or do I want sunshine?  Which road will lead me to what type of weather?

Oh.  I’m on the road back home.  But I still don’t have to go there.  This road is so boring, so familiar.  A person could die on a road like this and the drivers who travel it every day would probably not notice the body for months.  Was the light I just went through green or read, not that it would really mater.  The slick road is completely vacant of other cars.  The only tire marks I can see on the wet pavement are in my rear view mirror.  I could slip out of town now, right out of the city limits.  No one would see me, no one would be the wiser.

God, to just keep driving.  To have no pre-planned destination, no over-analyzed goals—it all sounds like a dream.  For the first time since I walked into Kindergarten on Experience Day and was assigned a seat and pencils and crayons, I would be in charge for myself.  New mothers complain about not having handbooks to care for their new children.  It is too bad they don’t make handbooks for the children, to help figure out what is right for themselves.  I feel like I have never done anything I truly wanted to in my entire life.

One more road until home.  Is this it?  Well, a few times I have done what I wanted.  There was the time I went to the carnival by myself, and I kept playing games until I won a stuffed animal.  But I felt as though everyone was staring at me because I was by myself.  (I am always by myself.  I am at this very moment.)  I got a stuffed animal that day.  But it wasn’t from the guy I flirted with or the games I tried the hardest at.  I got my little stuffed bear from a crooked game and, even though I know that, I still think of him as a lucky charm.

Should someone as naïve as I be roaming around the nation’s highways?  Probably not.

Ahh—I just passed the drive to my house.  But it wasn’t a brave, meaningful decision of symbolism as I had hoped.  I simply got too caught up in my petty thoughts.  But there is always a last refuge of a coward.  I click on my turn signal for the next road, like reflex. I will turn around and make my way back to the same house and my same room.

Tonight—tonight I just couldn’t do it.  Rain can be romantic, but it is also scary.  A half a tank of gas, well, maybe I’ll try it when there is a full tank.  Maybe I’ll try it when I have more courage, or more caffeine coursing through my veins.  Maybe I just need something more to run away from than familiarity.

So, I pull in the same driveway, unlock the same door with the same key, and walk through the living rom.  I flick on the TV without even turning on a lamp, enjoying the flashes of blue that light up the room instead.  I turn on the Weather Channel and see what it will be like tomorrow.

I hate life.
By: JLF
8/96
I hate life. I hate life. Life sucks so bad. My life is just one f***ing blackhole, which I don’t know what that is because I am too lazy & distracted to bother to read my astronomy book to bother to find out what a f***ing blackhole is! And why do I have to come back to f***ing school, which I f***ing hate! I have only had panic attacks while I had to go to school since I was in, like Kindergarten. I HATE SCHOOL! It makes me feel all yucky inside. It makes me feel dark & gloomy inside. It makes me feel like I do when I think about death–> DEATH, how stiffling & cold & lonely & empty it will be. That is what every second at school feels like to me…

1 Comment

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, UnProfessional Photography & Artwork, Unusual Poetry & Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Unknown Book Quote (Do YOU Know It?)

Posted on February 14, 2013 by funnygurl2

At the moment it happened, the first shooting stars were crossing the sky – they were beginning to stream across like strings of jewels flung from another planet – and everyone was watching them. The smaller children were exclaiming in delight, while the older ones stood silent and enthralled. Here on the hill, where the valley people often came to watch the glittering night unfold, you could see the whole magic sweep around you, and you felt close to everything in the heavens. Other people, you knew, were standing on other hills on other worlds, watching even as you watched.

–Unknown (to me)*

Do you know what this quote is from? Oh, of course I KNOW.

I found it in a book I randomly took off the shelf in the middle school library. The paragraph above was the beginning of the book. I thought is sounded so awesome, that I copied it down. And I thought it was so great that I have kept it for all these years.

What book was that?

I don’t know. I didn’t write down the title.

What was the rest of the book about?

I tried to read it, but the rest of the book didn’t live up to that paragraph. So I stopped reading it. Like on page three.

So, you see, in my old age I can see the err of my youth. Even though I still do not intend to ever read the whole book, it would be a nice piece of mind to know WHAT THE BOOK WAS CALLED!!!

Something else kind of bone-headed I have done pertaining to this quote? I have never made another copy of the quote (until now). It is written in red ink on a piece of typing paper (yes, that is what it used to be called in the old days) & then folded up till it was 12th of it’s normal size. Not the easiest to find when you are searching through old boxes of wanna-be witchcraft non-precious gemstones and two filing cabinets containing everything you have written in your life, including elementary school reports.

So, by putting it on my blog, I accomplish two things at once.

1. Maybe someone out there will know what the quote is from (If I find out, I will totally give proper credit on this post).

2. I now have another copy of this quote that I can semi-easily find when I want it.

UPDATE!:  * This has been identified first in the comments by Dane Jackson as being from “The Forgotten Door” by Alexander Key.   Thank you to everyone for reading and helping me!

5 Comments

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, Unusual Poetry & Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea

Posted on February 12, 2013 by funnygurl2

In high school junior year (1992–please do not do the  math on my age), I had a class called Issues, which was History and English combined.  I know, it sounds strange and it was strange at the time.  Anyway, in that class there was a kid with a T-shirt on with a poem-type thing on the back.  I kept reading it and liked it, so I copied it down.  I then hung it on my bedroom wall for years and memorized it.  Here is the original sheet of paper it was written on.

Beautiful, unknown lyrics*

Beautiful, unknown lyrics*

For those whose browsers are picky about pictures, here is the text:

…and so we watch the sun come up
from the edge of the deep green sea
and she listens like her head’s on fire
like she wants to believe in me
so I try
put your hands in the sky
surrender
remember
we’ll be here forever
and we’ll never say goodbye. . .*

For years, these were just words I copied off a guy’s T-shirt. There was a Bon Jovi song that had similar lyrics, but these were clearly not from that song. I figured I would never find out where it came from, and I was kind of OK with that.

When I got sick of the crusty yellowing notebook paper on my wall, I decided to make a plaque with the words on it. (I’m just a lil bit crafty;) I wrote all the lettering with a toothpick dipped in black paint. I was pretty proud of myself.

Wooden plaque I made to replace the notebook paper*

Wooden plaque I made to replace the notebook paper*

Then one day at work (October 25, 2000 to be exact), my green-haired friend sent me an email with a Mad Libs type story, using the word “GREEN” and the phrase “THE DEEP DARK SEA” in it. So I typed up my “and so I watch the sun come up…” words to her and hit send.

GHF: whoah that was weird!!!!! you have totally stunned me into silence…. how did you know?

ME: know what?
I got that off some guy’s shirt in high school
I have no idea what it is from–do you?
I memorized it, and I painted it on a wooden plaque:)

GHF: it’s a cure song silly i think you know more than you say

ME: [AM] wore a cure shirt in 92?
I wouldn’t have thought he was into that.
Yah! My mystery is solved:)

GHF: That’s me and [S]‘s favorite song (lyric-wise) called…. “from the edge of the deep green sea” It’s the song that brought us together. he he

ME: That is just too freaky–is that why that one site is called “deep green sea” whoa, it is all falling together:)

GHF: YES!!!!! I KNOW YOU REPEATED THAT LINE TO ME AND I TOTALLY FLIPPED!

Then the email degenerates into me craving Butterfingers. But, you get the idea. It was a MOMENTOUS moment in my life.

My green-haired friend and my crazy friend (not crazy in the head, just crazy fun-wise) both were in love with the Cure, especially at this time in history. They tried to convert me. I was busy listening to Kid Rock’s Devil Without A Cause album daily. While I do own the song “From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea” by the Cure now, the only Cure song I actually like is “A Night Like This”, performed by Professional Murder Music (see YouTube video below for a taste).

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-xTfUi_q3IWvsnVDYakoqHVgqQXYd-P2
* Song lyrics from “From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea” by The Cure (Bamonte, Gallup, Smith, Thompson, Williams).

This was a quotation mystery that it only took me eight years to solve.  For a quote that I am still trying to find the source of, come back to read Thursday’s blog.

Leave a comment

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, UnProfessional Photography & Artwork, Unusual Poetry & Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I LOVE SPORKS!

Posted on February 7, 2013 by funnygurl2
It's a spoon? It's a fork? No, it is AWESOME!

It’s a spoon? It’s a fork? No, it is AWESOME!

I love sporks!

I have ever since I went to a Tupperware party with my mom when I was like five years old and I got a long yellow spork as the “thanks-for-coming” freebie gift. I used it for years, especially to consume hard-to-eat dishes like Spaghetti O’s. It got discolored orange from all the tomato sauce.

Then, alas, one day it snapped in two. It was a very sad day:(

And so, except for the occassional Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner, I went sporkless for years. It was a hole that remained in my heart for a long time.

Then, around the time I got my own apartment, my mom found me some sporks!

They were yellow Pikachu sporks. They were meant to be a party supply for a children’s birthday party. I think the package came with eight. I hoarded them, only using two at a time. And they seemed to last forever.

Then, the toddler came along.

Ten year old disposable forks that have gone through the dishwasher, been put in the fridge, and multiple uses, just do not hold up to the destructive throw-down of a two-year old.

With only three remaining Pikachu’s left, I went on a mission for more sporks. I found the blue ones you see above in the camping area at Walmart (Usually I take this opportunity to boast about Meijer, but they let me down on my mission for sporks).

As I began to imagine the future of these brand new blue plastic sporks ending in breakage as well, I dreamed of a metal spork.

With a simple Google search, look what I turned up:

BEHOLD! The Titanium Spork! In trendy colors!

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork Photo: Amazon.com

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork
Photo: Amazon.com

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork Utensil - Purple

Snow Peak Colored Titanium Spork Utensil – Purple

Buy from Amazon

So awesome! I must own one of these! And I love the reviews that say it also makes a great gift. Watch out, friends and family. Next Christmas will be SPORKTACULAR!

I also loved the reviews because, I realized for the first time, I AM NOT ALONE! There are other spork lovers out there!

From an Amazon review by EJ on the same page linked above:

“It’s a TITANIUM SPORK. If you can’t appreciate the glory of that, then I can’t think of anyting that I can say that would help.”

Oh, but upon further searching, check this spork out! It is called the “Apocalypspork”! It claims to be “flat wear that will last you through the apocalypse” and good to “ram through a zombie skull”.

Photo: americankami.com/swag.html
Head over there to purchase
(Note: I have never purchased from this website.)

6 Comments

Posted in A day in the life, Childhood Reminiscing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

My Tribute to GALAGA (Written By A Total Non-Gamer)

Posted on January 8, 2013 by funnygurl2

Photo: arcadeartlibrary.com

My all-time favorite video game in the whole wide world is GALAGA!

Thank you Namco for making the only video game that I can half-ass play!

I first discovered Galaga at the bowling alley just minutes from my house. I would follow my asbestos friend on her newspaper route. At the end of it, we would stop at the bowling alley and she would make the owner turn on the video games so we could play them. (She was always a bad influence on me, from day one!)  She would spend her paper route money there. As I had no paper route (and received no cut for assisting with hers), I would rape my piggy bank of quarters. I once shattered an adorable ceramic elephant bank in my haste to feed my video game needs.

Granted, this was a very short phase in my life. Having never had a gaming console in my house until I met my husband, I am not a huge video game fan (player, whatever). But the arcade games at the bowling alley were a nice dip into that world. There was Gauntlet, Centipede, and Donkey Kong, which I sucked at. I could play Pole Position (who couldn’t?), but I rarely ever qualified for the actual race. There was a karate game I could sort of play, where if you won a little girl would come out and kiss you. I dabbled with Pac-Man, but those ghosts are not nice.

While they occasionally rotated the games in and out, Galaga seemed to always be there. And that was good, because I could actually play it for a few minutes on the same quarter. I could routinely make it through the first two stages of play and the Challenging Stage (bonus round), before being completely killed. IT WAS AWESOME!

A totally uninteresting factoid: Galaga is the first (and one of very few) video games my mom has ever played.

One time when I was in middle school, my Grandma had flown down to visit my Uncle Jim in Florida.  My mom and I were supposed to pick her up from the airport when she came back.  But Grandma called and said her flight was delayed.  We really had no idea when it would arrive, so we went to the airport prepared to kill some time.

I got very excited when we got there and they had a Galaga machine. My mom let me play, and then I tried to help her play. After that, we checked out the (very small) airport some more, then we went to the restroom. As I was heading out the door of the restroom, I slammed right into someone hurriedly coming in. We collided so hard, that my hat fell off my head. Turned out, it was my Grandma (I don’t think she used the bathrooms on the airplane and with the delay and all, well….).

Photo: technabob.com

The next time I can remember encountering Galaga is when I was in college. As a Communications major with an emphasis in TV and Radio Broadcasting, I had to make a lot of media projects. Many of them required sound effects. The Communications department at my college did have a collection of very sad and badly worn sound effects CDs. But often someone else was using the one you wanted, or it was too scratched to work any longer.

I think when I complained about such things to my best friend, she though I was crazy (she was studying Art and Elementary Education). But, thank God, she was thoughtful enough to buy me my very own sound effect CD for my birthday. Then, all I had to do was base each project around the sound effects that I owned myself.

One of the categories on the CD was “video game”. Are you with me? Have you guessed? I found the sound effects on the CD very familiar. Then one day, I placed it as all the sound effects from my most favorite video game, Galaga! What are the chances?

Since then, I have owned Galaga in many different incarnations. Orginally, I played it as an arcade game. This is the absolute best because a shot is fired EVERY TIME you hit the button. If you can hit the button 180 times per minute, then you can shoot 180 shots! (In almost all other versions, this is a major handicap!) Of course, your arm will fall off afterwards. The joy stick makes it very easy to move your ship very fluidly, as if it is an extension of your own hand. And, this is where you can end up with “the claw” (As illustrated by Chandler Bing on Friends).

Click to play on YouTube.com

Click to play on YouTube.com

My husband bought me a Namco Museum disc for the PlayStation One. But then he took the PlayStation One apart and never put it back together again. This disc would of course also play on the PlayStation Two. But that was harder to get the game started on for someone not used to it. And these days, the PlayStation Two is almost never hooked up. I am pretty sure this disc gave you the ability to adjust how many lives you got and when you could obtain more. I am fairly sure this is the version I got my all-time high score on: 141,140.

Photo: melarky.com

At one point, I bought one of those joysticks with the game built right in, that you plug directly into your TV. But it proved to have poor picture quality. (I can’t imagine why.)

After we got a Wii, my husband was kind enough to purchase Galaga from the Nintendo online game store thingy. So, this is the easiest way for me to play it in this day and age. But, as I have mentioned before, it has a tick where it will not fire as often as you hit the button.

As you may have guessed, my hit/miss ratio, while displayed at the conclusion of your game, means nothing to me. I want to shoot-shoot-shoot, baby! Like a blind man at a shooting range! Like a man on Viagra at a sperm bank! Like a photographer at a triplets’ wedding!

Photo: www5.pcmag.com

I love this game because all you do is move your fighter left or right, and shoot. You don’t fly through space or have bombs come at you. They drop at you! Straight down! This game isn’t 3D. It is barely 2D. It is like a one dimensional game!

I love that the “alien ships” look like bugs. Bees, scorpions, dragonflies, etc. It makes me want to shoot and kill them sooo much more! The bees are the worst. They are the only ships that once they fly off the bottom of the screen, will circle back up and kill you from the bee-hind! In later levels, they also turn into scorpions that move quickly and have the same ability. I have a new technique I am applying–kill all the bees first! (It seems to be working quite well.)

If your white ship gets sucked up by the blue ship guy in his tractor beam, you can get it back if you are very careful. You can shoot the blue guy as he attacks you with your other ship. Then your ship will come back to you, and you will have a Double Fighter. (My husband finds this awesome.)

The Double Fighter is great to rack up bonus points during the Challenging Stages, because you are double-wide with more shooting width. But, the Double Fighter make you a double-wide target for the bombs and bugs during regular play. The Double Fighter is a dangerous scheme to play, losing more often than winning (like Double-Down in Blackjack).

As often as a bee comes up & “stings” you from behind or an arrow you never saw blows you up, there are the wonderful “bad programming” saves. At least once a game, a ship that should totally have killed you totally flies right through you and keeps going. When that happens, it is GREAT!

Photo: fc02.deviantart.net

As Galaga is a very old, classic arcade game, it has that charming, yet frustrating programming where the levels as you advance do not look all that different. The levels do, indeed, speed up on you. This is usually not a big problem for me, as I rarely advance that far. My husband finds it rather frustrating though.

And speaking of my husband and frustrating, when I play, he always wants to also. I get it, it is his game system, etc. But if we take turns, he plays for twice, sometimes three times as long as I do. This is because he is a better player than me and lives longer. Should I be penalized with limited playing time just because I don’t have the years of video game practice and eye/screen-hand/controller coordination that he has acquired? And how will I ever improve if I always have less game time? (Sorry, pet-peeve of mine.)

Galaga permeates in our modern culture. It was regularly seen in the background of the student lounge on The O.C. I was delighted to see it used in the credits for the movie Grandma’s Boy. Galaga was name-dropped on the TV series Lost.  I believe someone uses it as a TV production logo (vanity plate).  It continues to be available through the years on almost every gaming system.

Photo: brookstone.com

I would love to get a T-shirt or baseball hat with the Galaga logo, to “represent”. Someday, when I win the lottery (WAIT! Make that TOMORROW when I win the lottery…), I am going to buy the upright arcade version. Brookstone sells a version for a mere $3,000. *sigh*

And after over 20 years of playing Galaga, what do I have to show for it? I can routinely make it through the first two stages of play and the challenging stage, and occasionally make it to the second challenging stage as well, before being completely killed;)

Alex: I’m not any of those guys, I’m just a kid from a trailer park…
Centauri: If that’s what you think, then that’s all you’ll ever be!

–The Last Starfighter (1984)

3 Comments

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, Entertainment Worship & Review and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Rocky Mountain Christmas

Posted on December 11, 2012 by funnygurl2

To most, John Denver is a joke.

To me, he is the sound of Christmas.

When I was a kid, my mom had the record (large, round, vinyl black thing with grooves) Rocky Mountain Christmas by John Denver.  She played it every year at holiday time.  Christmas starts for me with the first few tinkling notes of Aspenglow.

Rocky Mountain Christmas by John Denver on CD & record, and John Denver: Christmas in Concert on CD

I would be happy if it was the only Christmas album I ever owned or played.

My mom didn’t own any other John Denver records.  My crazy friend knew that I liked this Christmas album, so then on mix tapes she would put other non-Christmas John Denver songs.  She didn’t understand.  It wasn’t so much that I liked John Denver, it was that I liked his voice with this collection of Christmas songs from this period of time.  From my childhood.

John Denver sings nice, straight-forward renditions of the classics: The Christmas Song, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, the seldom-heard Silver Bells, Away in a Manger, What Child Is This, Oh Holy Night (a spectacular version), and Silent Night.  There is no Mariah Carey warbling.

The original songs on the album are some of my favorites.  I already mentioned Aspenglow.   Christmas for Cowboys paints a wonderful musical picture of a lonely holiday on the snow-covered plains.  My husband likes Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas).  A Baby Just Like You is my favorite.  John Denver wrote it for his own son Zachary. I love to belt out “MERRY CHRISTMAS LITTLE ZACHARY!” at the top of my lungs.

I know, I’m weird.

Sometimes now I change it to be my sons’ name.

Inside cover of Rocky Mountain Christmas, featuring the lyrics to A Baby Just Like You (I used to love to look at the details of this picture when I was a kid)

Several years ago my mom bought the album on CD, so it was very nice to be able to listen to it again.  The problem was, we had only one copy that we shared.  (I have no idea why I never thought about burning a second copy.  Oh ya, because that would be illegal.;)

Last year I found my own copy of Rocky Mountain Christmas on CD.  I even found a concert version of the same songs.  My mom is very happy I am no longer hogging her CD.

I still don’t understand why none of the Christmas music radio stations play anything off this album.  They play other seldom-played artists.  They always need different artists singing the same 12 traditional songs.  And it would make me so happy.

A Christmas Together: John Denver & The Muppets – Also a nice album, but just not the same for me

I kept my mom’s record of Rocky Mountain Christmas all these years, even though there was no way to play it.

Last year, my husband and I picked up a Fisher Price children’s record player from the 80’s at a garage sale and a handful of records.

So, while I totally enjoy digital clarity, the ability to listen to it in my car, and load it on my iPod, I am playing the original record for my son as I write this.  Sure, it is scratchy from 37 years of use and improper storage and probably a pretty dull needle.  But it takes me right back to being a preschooler myself in my living room in our house in Riga, Michigan.  In the terrible 70’s clothes that my mom dressed me in.


When you listen to the CD, you don’t have to see his dorky appearance.

Leave a comment

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, Entertainment Worship & Review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

A Picture of Contrasts

Posted on December 4, 2012 by funnygurl2

I love this picture. Always have.

Just a couple of youngin’s walking down the street, up to no good.

This picture used to be on my bulletin board. Now it is in one of my special picture albums that does not conform to chronological order, as the rest of them do.

This is a picture of my asbestos friend and I walking down the street in front of my house while we were in high school. My mom shot it out our front door. My asbestos friend and I were probably heading from the small village grocery store back to her house. (I think she still stops at that store at least once a day, every day. I don’t know what she did when she lived 2,000 miles away in Arizona.)

To me, this has always been a picture of contrasts.

First of all, there is snow, but also puddles.

I am wearing a scarf, but no winter coat.

We are not children, but not yet adults.

We look like we are deeply engaged in conversation, when we were probably talking about nothing.

That isn’t true.  We were probably talking about boys.

I love this picture.  I love the purple boots I am wearing in the picture.

I still own that cream-colored hoodie and that scarf (I knew the hoodie was that old, but not the scarf.).  That hoodie can be found in the lower left of a picture in my post from April of 2012 called You Give Hoodies A Bad Name (http://imnotstalkingyou.com/2012/04/01/you-give-hoodies-a-bad-name/)

I look like I am almost skipping, probably just happy that someone stopped by and I got to leave the house for five minutes. At that time in my life, my friends were in sports, band, modeling, had boyfriends, etc. Me, well, I had television. An active imagination. Lots of markers to draw with. Ya, that was about it. My existence was pretty dull at that point.

But I don’t even mind that my mom secretly captured all that. It makes me yearn for more innocent days (but not boring days. Or high school. Or being sad, lonely, depressed, unloved, suicidal.)…ok, scratch “innocent days”.

It makes me yearn for my friend’s kid-free day, when we go roaming about as we please, willy-nilly, with no one to feed or take care of but ourselves.

Maybe what I see most in the picture is freedom. Freedom from school. Freedom from winter. From winter coats. From snow. Freedom to just be.

Leave a comment

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, UnProfessional Photography & Artwork and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

I Love Cheap Jewelry, But It Doesn’t Love Me

Posted on November 29, 2012 by funnygurl2

You would be correct to assume that a great number of these items are non-compliant.

I love cheap jewelry. You know, the stuff 12 year old girls buy featuring rainbows and sunshines and Hello Kitty. Bracelets, rings, earrings, especially necklaces. I love them all.

And life was all fine and dandy until I was in 10th grade. Then I got oozy ears.

Earrings I had worn on many occasions, for extended periods of time, were suddenly causing my ears to ooze yellow puss. It was gross. My mom took me to the doctor. I always remember that the doctor had a giant red bulbous nose (whose daughter incidentally has been my anesthesiologist on two occasions since then). I got the dreaded diagnosis: I had a nickel allergy.

Now, if you haven’t experienced this yourself or know anyone who has, you are probably just thinking of the U.S. currency coin in the amount of 5 cents, commonly known as a nickel. But nickel is in a surprising amount of items. Not surprising, if you realize that it is a cheap metal to add to other metals as filler. And for those who are allergic, it is an itchy nightmare.

The scientific name for nickel allergy is allergic contact dermatitis. I am guessing the cream the doctor gave me that day was some sort of corticosteroid, because it cleared that particular episode right up. Of course, I had to change my earrings. And overnight 95% of my earring collection I could no longer wear for fear of reaction. You can’t tell, but in my first drivers’ license picture I had oozy ear. The puss would literally drip off my earlobe, so I sat there dabbing at it as I took my written test at the DMV.

For a while (maybe a year?), I had had odd incidents that infrequently occurred of my upper lip being swelled up when I woke up in the morning. I figured it must be some sort of allergy, but I didn’t know what. I tried to trace it to some food I had eaten the day before, but no pattern emerged. After I found out about my nickel allergy, I realized that is what was wrong with my lip as well. I had one necklace, a souvenir from my gramma from Garden of the Gods. Every time I wore it, I sucked on the charm. Which was apparently made of my enemy nickel. Other women have to put collagen in their lips for the full look. All I need to so is rub some cheap jewelery on mine.

My Garden of the Gods Colorado necklace that triggered my first nickel allergy.

Then I noticed as I wore necklaces, the back and sides of my neck (where the chain touched my skin) would get irritated and itchy. I could no longer wear watches. Not because of the metal on the back of the face, but because of the metal in the buckle. One day I took a bike ride and I put my house keys in my sock as I usually would. By the time I got to my friends house, my ankle was already red and itchy and developing a rash.

Probably the worst time was when my glasses started to bother my face. I had metal frame glasses that sat on my nose. So, where they touched on either side of my nose, my face just turned to red itchy ooze. I learned I could put baby powder on it, and that would not only soak up the ooze, but also turn my bright red skin to a more normal pink. Imagine trying to study in college and all you want to do is claw your face off. I got to where if I was at home and wanted to watch TV, I would remove my glasses and just sit very close to screen. Someone suggested putting clear nail polish on the frames, maybe a layer between the metal and my face would stop it.

NOPE.

It did not stop the reaction and then where I had put the nail polish on the glasses it reacted and turned green. No wonder I never had any dates in college. I was quite the catch. Not.

When I went to get new glasses, I expressed this concern to the eye care professional helping me to pick out frames. Ones without nickel were so expensive that I let her talk me into ones with nickel, but she said the nose pads would keep them up off my face. Even though it looked as though there would be no direct contact, that pair irritated me as well. Now I go titanium all the way. It is worth whatever I have to pay for it.

You would be shocked at how tiny events in your day could lead to a rash. One afternoon I had like an hour between when I got home from college classes and when I needed to be at work. So, I pretty much took my winter coat off and fell over on the couch to sleep, using the coat as my pillow.

I go to work later, and someone asks me why I have a circle on the side of my head. I crawled up on the stainless steel sink to try to look at the side of my head in the mirror on the reusable fabric towel holder that hung above the sink. There it was. A perfect bright red circle with a pink hole in the center, roughly the size of a quarter. Like a rash donut (Yum?). I was befuddled, until I remembered the nap.

My coat had metal snaps with a plastic center.

At least it was on the side of my head, where it could be slightly obscured by my hair. It could have been worse. The bright red donut could have been in the middle of my forehead!

When I started my first real adult job, I went from standing for 8hrs a day to sitting for about 9 1/2hrs. Ya, it sucked. The good thing was, it was a casual work environment, so I got to wear jeans every day.

And then a new issue surfaced.

The metal snaps or buttons that make up jeans? Yep, you guessed it. Made with nickel. I would get a rash on my stomach right never my belly button (I <3 Mom Jeans, remember?) I suffered that way for a while, before I got my BRILLIANT idea to put electrical tape over the metal buttons. It is sturdy, you can continue to use the button with only minimal addition of bulk, and it survives multiple washings (but not dryings:).

My husband bought me real diamond earrings from an actual jewelry store and I can’t wear them because they contain nickel. Boo to you Kay Jewelers.

Then I got a patent leather bracelet I loved. How to cover the back of the snaps? Electrical tape. I got a very awesomely goth dog collar at Hot Topic. I was careful to get one that snapped instead of buckled. The electrical tape trick was slightly less effective on that, as there were other metal studs on the outside. But it helped.

An Edward Cullen bookmark/bracelet purchased at a bookstore? Oh, that doesn’t give me any irritation at all. Seriously.  Go figure.

I was at a Good Charlotte concert on Halloween in Toledo, Ohio several years ago. I was trying to bounce with the kids around me who were like 10 years younger. My dog tag kept flying up and hitting me in the face. So I tucked it between my breasts (I was wearing a tank top). I even stopped to think,”This won’t give me a rash. It is my dad’s official WWII dog tag. They wouldn’t put nickel in that.” Oh, Uncle Sam, you did. I truly hope that is no longer the case, for the sake of all the poor soldiers with sensitive skin.

As bad as that rash was, the worst was a concert at an outdoor theater where it rained on my green-haired friend and I. If I was with anyone else, I probably would have sought out some rain-free shelter. But she wanted to walk around, so we did. In the pouring rain. And I had change in my front jeans pocket. I learned that night that, when that white lining of my pocket gets wet, I can get a nickel rash right through the pocket onto my thigh:( (Have I mentioned that quarters and dimes contain nickel as well?) *sigh*

So, that is my story. For anyone who has suddenly found out that they are allergic to nickel, here are a few tips:

1. Avoid nickel at all costs.

2. When you can’t avoid it, electrical tape makes a great barrier. It comes in a variety of colors.  Clear nail polish does not.

3. If you have an outbreak of rash, you can try to manage it with over the counter hydrocortizone cream and antihistamine.

4. Wikipedia says you can try cleaning the area directly after it comes in contact with nickel with soap and water and lemon juice or vinegar. [I have not tried this. I would love to know if it actually helps.]

5. Avon claims that all of their jewelry is nickel-free. In my limited experience, I have found this to be the case. (And sometimes they have Hello Kitty jewelry:)

6. Stop looking at the jewelery tables at craft shows (usually about 50% of the total booths) because you will never be able to wear that stuff again.

7. Transfer charms from chains that contain nickel to nickel-free chains or black rope.

8. If you wear glasses, buy titanium frames. Titanium is your best friend.

7 Comments

Posted in A day in the life, Childhood Reminiscing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Little Josiah Cowles

Posted on November 20, 2012 by funnygurl2

I am going to tell you a story.  Don’t judge me too harshly.  My husband does.  He doesn’t see why this is funny at all.  My mother and I find it hilarious, all these years later.

My mom and I have gone to Mackinac Island, Michigan several times in our lives.  One year we went, and it rained the whole time we were on the island.  Because we were tourists and so that we may seek shelter from the elements, we bought tickets and went to tour Fort Mackinac.

I am not big on history, unless it is lighthouse or family tree-related, but Fort Mackinac was interesting.  Their displays showed many aspects of life at the Fort.  As you may imagine, there were weapons, the mess hall, the jail, the store.  But you also got to see where the officers and their families lived.

And we learned about little Josiah Cowles.

This historical sign is displayed at Fort Mackinac, Michigan.


Here is the sign (or a more modern replica) that my mom and I saw that rainy, gloomy day.  Maybe we were low on sugar and caffeine.  No matter the circumstances, my mom read that sign, and translated it as such:

Little Josiah Cowles

Had trouble with his bowels.

AND WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED until we cried and then we laughed some more.

Maybe you had to be there.  But it is one of the purely happy memories I have with my mom.  I felt obliged to share it with all of you:)

I’m not stalking you. is NOW ON FACEBOOK! “Like” that I’m not stalking you and get an update when there is a new post to read. (It is sort of like YOU are stalking ME.)

Leave a comment

Posted in Childhood Reminiscing, Mom Rants, Unusual Poetry & Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
← Older Posts
→
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 58 other followers

%d bloggers like this: